176 episodes
174. Why Do I Keep Comparing Myself to Everyone Else? | The Truth About Comparison
11/11/2026 | 26 mins.In this episode of Why Do I Do This?, I answer a listener's question about why we constantly compare ourselves to people who seem further ahead in life.
I explore the psychology of social comparison, why other people's apparent success can undermine our self-worth, and how social media makes it easy to mistake carefully curated snapshots for the reality of someone's life.
But what if envy isn't necessarily something to feel ashamed of? What if it's actually telling you something about what you want?
I share practical exercises to help you redefine success on your own terms, challenge the comparisons you make and take back control of your attention.
Because there is no universal timetable for success, happiness or personal development. And somebody else's success doesn't make yours any less valuable.
Takeaways
👉 Comparison is natural, but it can distort your perspective. We often compare what we know about ourselves with what we believe to be true about somebody else.
👉 Social media shows snapshots, not whole lives. You're seeing somebody else's highlights without necessarily seeing their struggles, sacrifices or setbacks.
👉 Envy can reveal what matters to you. Instead of treating it as evidence of inadequacy, ask what someone else's achievement represents and what it tells you about your own ambitions.
👉 Define success on your own terms. The things you think you should want aren't necessarily the things that will make you happy.
👉 There is no universal timeline. If you're going to compare yourself with anybody, compare yourself with who you were yesterday, not somebody else's today.
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The Slavey of Addiction Documentary
https://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?si=6I0kXppX9prFFoin173. Why Do I Feel Guilty When I Set Boundaries? | People-Pleasing & Self-Respect
04/11/2026 | 24 mins.In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I explore why setting boundaries can feel so uncomfortable, particularly when we're afraid of disappointing people or being seen as selfish.
I look at why we say yes when we want to say no, how constantly prioritising others can leave us feeling resentful, and why feeling guilty doesn't necessarily mean you've done something wrong. Sometimes, what we experience as guilt is the discomfort of realising we can't control how someone else feels.
I also share a practical three-question boundary check to help you make decisions that protect your values, communicate honestly and strengthen your relationships without abandoning your own needs.
Because someone being disappointed with your decision doesn't automatically mean you've made the wrong one.
Takeaways
👉 Guilt isn't always evidence of wrongdoing. Sometimes it's the discomfort of seeing someone experience an emotion you can't fix.
👉 Boundaries protect what matters to you. Your time, energy, values and self-respect are worth protecting.
👉 Saying yes can come at a cost. Repeatedly ignoring your own needs can lead to exhaustion and resentment.
👉 You can care about someone's feelings without taking responsibility for them. Their disappointment doesn't automatically make your decision wrong.
👉 Honest communication strengthens relationships. Clear, respectful boundaries give people a better understanding of what you need.
Signed Copy Pre-order from West End Lane Bookshop
https://www.welbooks.co.uk/shop/p/why-do-i-do-this-a-guide-to-building-a-stronger-relationship-with-yourself-by-johnny-lawrence-signed?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAcGRvZgJzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA85MzY2MTk3NDMzOTI0NTkAAadhSDmiWGqPgQROIxePqSe_eZFab36Wz1d-XDbCgunh-F-Kq0VH9uSAqYBFtQ_aem_Yzk9gJzJhtzKVqtUrbDGUgÂ
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The Slavey of Addiction Documentary
https://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?si=6I0kXppX9prFFoin172. Why Do I Keep Making the Same Mistakes? | Malachy Dunne on Behaviour Change
28/10/2026 | 1h 14 mins.In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I sat down with Malachy Dunne to explore why changing our lives often requires unlearning the very things we've spent years believing.
We discuss how childhood experiences shape adult behaviour, why crisis and grief can become catalysts for growth, and the important difference between accepting reality and simply resigning ourselves to it. Malachy shares insights from his own journey, including sobriety, recovery and the process of developing greater self-awareness.
We also explore why information alone rarely changes us, how to interrupt automatic reactions, and why recognising that we have a choice can be the beginning of genuine freedom.
Because sometimes the biggest obstacle to becoming someone new is everything we've learned to believe about who we are.
Takeaways
👉 Realisation can be more powerful than information. Knowing something intellectually isn't the same as truly understanding it.
👉 Acceptance isn't resignation. You can acknowledge reality without giving up your ability to influence what happens next.
👉 Change often requires unlearning. We need to question the beliefs, behaviours and mental models we've carried for years.
👉 Self-awareness creates space for choice. Recognising your automatic reactions gives you an opportunity to respond differently.
👉 Crisis can become a catalyst for growth. Difficult experiences don't automatically make us stronger, but they can invite us to reconsider how we live.
Lifetime Therapy
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Signed Copy Pre-order from West End Lane Bookshop
https://www.welbooks.co.uk/shop/p/why-do-i-do-this-a-guide-to-building-a-stronger-relationship-with-yourself-by-johnny-lawrence-signed?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAcGRvZgJzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA85MzY2MTk3NDMzOTI0NTkAAadhSDmiWGqPgQROIxePqSe_eZFab36Wz1d-XDbCgunh-F-Kq0VH9uSAqYBFtQ_aem_Yzk9gJzJhtzKVqtUrbDGUgÂ
JOIN THE BOOK WAITLIST
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The Slavey of Addiction Documentary
https://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?si=6I0kXppX9prFFoin- In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I explore what happens when the roles and responsibilities that have defined our lives begin to change, and we realise we're no longer sure who we are without them.
Whether you're a parent, partner, professional, or the person everyone depends on, it's easy to focus so much on meeting expectations that you lose touch with your own needs, values, and ambitions.
I share practical ways to reconnect with yourself, understand what truly matters to you and rebuild self-trust through small, intentional actions. Because your roles are part of who you are, but they don't have to define all of who you are.
Takeaways
👉 Your roles aren't your identity. You can be a parent, partner, or professional without letting those roles define your entire sense of self.
👉 Knowing your values gives you direction. When life changes, your values can help you decide what matters and where to go next.
👉 You can be dependable without abandoning yourself. Looking after your own needs doesn't make you selfish or unreliable.
👉 Small, honest questions can reveal a lot. Asking what you want, what matters and what you're avoiding can help you reconnect with yourself.
👉 Change may disappoint other people. Their reactions don't automatically mean you're making the wrong decision.
Signed Copy Pre-order from West End Lane Bookshop
https://www.welbooks.co.uk/shop/p/why-do-i-do-this-a-guide-to-building-a-stronger-relationship-with-yourself-by-johnny-lawrence-signed?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bio&fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAcGRvZgJzcnRjBmFwcF9pZA85MzY2MTk3NDMzOTI0NTkAAadhSDmiWGqPgQROIxePqSe_eZFab36Wz1d-XDbCgunh-F-Kq0VH9uSAqYBFtQ_aem_Yzk9gJzJhtzKVqtUrbDGUgÂ
JOIN THE BOOK WAITLIST
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www.johnnylawrence.co.uk
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Podcast Instagram
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The Slavey of Addiction Documentary
https://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?si=6I0kXppX9prFFoin - In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I explore why we can become so dependent on other people's approval that we start losing touch with who we really are.
I look at the difference between wanting approval and needing it, how people-pleasing can leave us feeling disconnected from ourselves, and why the fear of rejection can lead us to hide our opinions, compromise our boundaries and become whoever we think others want us to be.
Most importantly, I explore how to build self-trust, develop internal approval and create more authentic relationships.
Because the goal isn't to stop caring what people think. It's to stop allowing what they think to determine how you feel about yourself.
Takeaways
👉 Wanting approval is human; depending on it can become a trap. The problem begins when other people's opinions determine your self-worth.
👉 People-pleasing can leave you feeling lonely. When you perform to be accepted, people may connect with the version of you that you've created rather than the person you really are.
👉 Rejection isn't a verdict on your worth. Sometimes you're simply not the right fit for someone else.
👉 Self-trust reduces the need for external validation. The more you trust your own judgement, the less you need others to confirm that you're making the right choices.
👉 Authenticity requires the courage to risk disapproval. You can respect other people's opinions without abandoning your own.
JOIN THE BOOK WAITLIST
https://www.johnnylawrence.co.uk/bookÂ
Kindle Pre-Order
https://amzn.eu/d/0i3FBvUXÂ
Website
www.johnnylawrence.co.uk
Johnny’s Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/johnnylawrenceuk/?hl=enÂ
Podcast Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/whydoidothisofficial/?hl=enÂ
The Slavey of Addiction Documentary
https://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?si=6I0kXppX9prFFoin
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About Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence
Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence is a podcast about understanding yourself.
Each week, Johnny explores the psychology, emotions and hidden patterns behind why we think, feel and behave the way we do, answering a listener's question on topics like people-pleasing, overthinking, anger, confidence, relationships and purpose.
Once a month, he's joined by a special guest for deeper conversations and fresh perspectives. Because lasting change begins by understanding why you do what you do.
New episodes every Wednesday.
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