Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence

In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I explore why we can become so dependent on other people's approval that we start losing touch with who we really are.

I look at the difference between wanting approval and needing it, how people-pleasing can leave us feeling disconnected from ourselves, and why the fear of rejection can lead us to hide our opinions, compromise our boundaries and become whoever we think others want us to be.

Most importantly, I explore how to build self-trust, develop internal approval and create more authentic relationships.

Because the goal isn't to stop caring what people think. It's to stop allowing what they think to determine how you feel about yourself.

Takeaways
👉 Wanting approval is human; depending on it can become a trap. The problem begins when other people's opinions determine your self-worth.
👉 People-pleasing can leave you feeling lonely. When you perform to be accepted, people may connect with the version of you that you've created rather than the person you really are.
👉 Rejection isn't a verdict on your worth. Sometimes you're simply not the right fit for someone else.
👉 Self-trust reduces the need for external validation. The more you trust your own judgement, the less you need others to confirm that you're making the right choices.
👉 Authenticity requires the courage to risk disapproval. You can respect other people's opinions without abandoning your own.

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Podcast Instagram
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The Slavey of Addiction Documentary
https://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?si=6I0kXppX9prFFoin

In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I explore why we can become trapped by regret, replaying old mistakes and judging our past selves with the knowledge we have today.
We look at the difference between regret and rumination, why context matters when looking back, and how comparing ourselves to an imaginary version of where we think we “should” be can keep us stuck.
I also share practical ways to reframe your past, practise self-forgiveness and use what happened then to change what happens next.
Because you can't change what happened.
But you can change what it means.

Takeaways
👉 Regret can teach you; rumination keeps you stuck.
👉 You judged your past self with the knowledge you have today. Context matters.
👉 Self-forgiveness doesn't require approval. You can accept what happened without excusing it.
👉 Your imaginary timeline isn't reality. Stop comparing your life to where you think you should be.
👉 The past can become information, not an identity. Ask: What can I learn, change and do next?

JOIN THE BOOK WAITLIST
https://www.johnnylawrence.co.uk/book 

Kindle Pre-Order

Website
www.johnnylawrence.co.uk

Johnny’s Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/johnnylawrenceuk/?hl=en 

Podcast Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/whydoidothisofficial/?hl=en 

The Slavey of Addiction Documentary
https://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?si=6I0kXppX9prFFoin

In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I sit down with Nina Aouilk, a life coach and survivor of profound trauma, to explore her remarkable journey from homelessness and adversity to self-love, faith and purpose.
Nina shares how childhood trauma, fear and painful experiences shaped her identity, and what it took to begin rebuilding her life. We explore the courage it takes to live authentically, the importance of boundaries and why learning to say no can be an act of self-respect.
We also discuss emotional regulation, spirituality, healing and the power of small, consistent steps. Finding yourself is less about becoming someone else and more about finding the courage to be who you really are.

Takeaways
👉 Facing your fears can open the door to change. Growth often begins when you stop allowing fear to make your decisions.
👉 Your past doesn't have to define your identity. Healing can help you separate who you are from what you've experienced.
👉 Authenticity requires courage. Being yourself can mean risking rejection, but it can also bring a deeper sense of fulfilment.
👉 Saying no is an act of self-respect. Healthy boundaries help you protect your values, energy and emotional wellbeing.
👉 Small steps can create lasting change. You don't need to transform your entire life overnight to begin moving in a new direction.

Nina’s Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/londonslifecoach/?hl=en 

JOIN THE BOOK WAITLIST
https://www.johnnylawrence.co.uk/book 

Website
www.johnnylawrence.co.uk

Johnny’s Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/johnnylawrenceuk/?hl=en 

Podcast Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/whydoidothisofficial/?hl=en 

The Slavey of Addiction Documentary
https://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?si=6I0kXppX9prFFoin

In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I explore one of the most misunderstood patterns in human behaviour: self-sabotage.
What if you're not actually trying to sabotage yourself? What if the behaviour you're calling self-sabotage is actually an attempt to self-soothe, pulling you back to something familiar and comfortable when fear or uncertainty feels uncomfortable?
I explore how behavioural loops, identity, familiarity, and fear can keep us repeating patterns we know aren't helping us, and why success can sometimes feel more threatening than failure. Most importantly, I look at how curiosity and self-awareness can help us interrupt those patterns and develop healthier responses to discomfort.

Takeaways
👉 Self-sabotage may actually be self-soothing. We often return to familiar behaviours because they help us regulate discomfort, even when they don't serve us.
👉 Familiar doesn't always mean healthy. We can become more comfortable with what we know than with what we actually want.
👉 Fear can sit underneath self-sabotaging behaviour. Change, success and uncertainty can all trigger protective responses.
👉 Your behaviour can become a loop. Triggers create familiar responses, which create familiar outcomes, until you notice the pattern.
👉 Curiosity creates choice. Instead of asking, “Why am I doing this to myself?”, ask, “What is this behaviour trying to do for me?”

JOIN THE BOOK WAITLIST
https://www.johnnylawrence.co.uk/book 

Website
www.johnnylawrence.co.uk

Johnny’s Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/johnnylawrenceuk/?hl=en 

Podcast Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/whydoidothisofficial/?hl=en 

The Slavey of Addiction Documentary
https://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?si=6I0kXppX9prFFoin

In this episode of Why Do I Do This? with Johnny Lawrence, I explore one of the questions many of us secretly ask ourselves: “Am I actually lazy, or is something else going on?”
I look at the difference between burnout, exhaustion, avoidance and genuine unwillingness, and why calling ourselves “lazy” often stops us from understanding what’s really getting in the way. We explore how fear, overwhelm, depleted energy and lack of clarity can all look like procrastination.
I also share two practical tools, the Energy Avoidance Check and the Ten-Minute Rule, to help you understand your resistance, take action, and respond to yourself with more honesty and compassion.

Takeaways
👉 Burnout is depletion, not laziness. When your capacity is genuinely depleted, pushing harder isn't always the answer.
👉 “What’s getting in the way?” is a better question than “Why am I so lazy?” Understanding the cause gives you something you can actually work with.
👉 Avoidance can be driven by fear. Sometimes we aren't unwilling to act; we're afraid of what acting might mean.
👉 Small actions create momentum. You don't always need motivation before you begin; sometimes motivation follows action.
👉 Learn the difference between inability and unwillingness. Honest self-awareness helps you know when you need rest and when you need to take responsibility.

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Website
www.johnnylawrence.co.uk

Johnny’s Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/johnnylawrenceuk/?hl=en 

Podcast Instagram
https://www.instagram.com/whydoidothisofficial/?hl=en 

The Slavey of Addiction Documentary
https://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?si=6I0kXppX9prFFoin