41 - Why “Have You Been Drinking?” Is the Wrong Question
Why “Have You Been Drinking?” Is the Wrong Question And what to say instead when your gut already knows.It’s the question you’ve asked more times than you care to admit: “Have you been drinking?”I've honestly asked it more times than I care to admit. And it always went the same way... Deny, lie, deflect, argue... and then the disconnection, more arguments about lying, broken trust, divorce, leaving, this having to be the last time... In this episode, I unpack why this one question, while 100% understandable, can actually drive disconnection, erode trust, and make healing harder for everyone.You’ll learn:Why asking for the truth might be pushing them to lieWhat’s actually going on when we seek “confirmation”How to rebuild trust without needing their honesty firstWhat to ask instead, and how to protect your peaceWhether your loved one is struggling with addiction, or you’re navigating recovery alongside them, this is a conversation that changes things.For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:Upcoming workshop:Three Essential Steps to support your Loved one in addiction or recovery (Without losing yourself in the process)Happening on June 19th and June 20th (depending on where you are in the world)Register to get the replay in your inbox👉 Register HereIf you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):👉 Download the guideYou can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possibleYour peace matters. And you’re closer than you think. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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40 - I’m Smart, So Why Do I Feel So Stuck? (What I Wish I Knew Sooner)
You’re smart. Successful. Switched on.So how did you end up here, silently carrying the emotional weight of your partner’s addiction, second-guessing yourself by the hour, and quietly asking: How could I not have seen this? And why can’t I work out what to do?! In this deeply honest episode, Amanda unpacks the surprising way intelligence can work against you when addiction enters your home. Drawing from Adam Grant’s Think Again, she shares the thinking traps smart women fall into, and how your logic, self-reliance, and outdated belief systems might be the very things keeping you stuck.You’ll walk away with: A powerful reframe of the “Preacher, Prosecutor, Scientist” mindsets A mirror to your own self-talk (“I should be able to figure this out…”)Practical ways to think again and move toward what will help (Taking from Adam Grants book, Think Again)Why you don’t need more books or research - you need self trust, breathing room, and backupA gentle but bold invitation to stop doing this aloneWhether you’ve been Googling “What does alcoholism look like?”, “Am I enabling?” or just wondering how your brainy self ended up in this emotional storm… you’ll feel seen, supported, and a hug of support about what to stop (more research!) and what to start.For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:Upcoming workshop:Three Essential Steps to support your Loved one in addiction or recovery (Without losing yourself in the process)Happening on June 19th and June 20th (depending on where you are in the world)Register to get the replay in your inbox👉 Register HereIf you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):👉 Download the guideYou can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possibleYour peace matters. And you’re closer than you think. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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39 - Want to Help Them Get or Stay Sober? Start Here
You love them.... More than anything.And you’d do anything to help them find their way through this. To get sober. Stay sober. Choose recovery. Stay in recovery.But if you're honest?You're exhausted.Your heart is tired from hoping.Your brain won’t stop spinning—thinking, overthinking.You keep showing up, holding it all together…But somewhere along the way, you got lost.Maybe you feel like if you just love them harder… support them better… say the right thing… they'll finally turn the corner.But despite everything you’re doing it still feels like you’re walking on eggshells, bracing for the next wobble.Here’s the loving truth that may be hard to hear:You cannot make someone do or not do something. But you can support them in a healthy and helpful way without losing yourself in the process.And it's all in the grey and nuanced middle.In this raw and real episode, Amanda speaks directly to the silent struggle so many carry: 🤍 The internal conflict and doubt 🤍 The quiet guilt of wondering if you’re doing enough 🤍 The fear of what might happen if you let go, even just a littleAnd most importantly: 🤍 How to begin finding yourself again even here. Even now.For spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:Register for the Three Essential Steps to support your Loved one in addiction or recovery (Without losing yourself in the process)Happening on June 19th and June 20th (depending on where you are in the world)Replay is available but you have to register to get it in your inbox👉 Register HereIf you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):👉 Download the guideYou can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possibleYour peace matters. And you’re closer than you think. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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38 - The Addiction Side of Addiction: What It Really Takes to Change – with Jack from Real Drug Talk
You’ve heard the term rock bottom - but what does that actually mean, how can we change the lens and what really helps someone change?In this raw and eye-opening episode, I’m joined by Jack from Real Drug Talk, who brings a rare and powerful perspective: the inside story of addiction, what recovery actually looks like, and the truth about what it takes to turn a life around.Jack opens up about his own experience, from being a promising young athlete to spiralling into meth addiction, and eventually finding his way out. We unpack the outdated myths still floating around in the addiction space (like “if they wanted to, they would”), the real role families play in recovery, and why waiting for a loved one to “hit rock bottom” might actually be missing the point.Whether you’re supporting someone you love or navigating your own recovery, this conversation will give you hope, validation, and insight.What talk about in this episodeJack’s story: how curiosity, insecurity, and disconnection led to addictionThe problem with “just let them hit rock bottom”What change really looks like (hint: it’s not linear)Harm reduction vs. abstinence, and why both can have a placeHow families can support without enablingWhat success in recovery really means (it’s not just about not using)The 3 pillars Jack sees in people who thrive after addictionIf you’ve ever wondered:→ Can people really change?→ How do I support someone without losing myself?→ What does recovery actually look like - beyond the stereotypes?This episode is for you.Connect with Jack:🔗 www.connectionbasedliving.com.au📲 Instagram: @realdrugtalkFor spouses and loved ones who are looking for resources and support:Register for the Three Essential Steps to support your Loved one in addiction or recovery (Without losing yourself in the process)Happening on June 19th and June 20th (depending on where you are in the world)Replay is available but you have to register to get it in your inbox👉 Register HereIf you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):👉 Download the guideYou can also book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possibleYour peace matters. And you’re closer than you think. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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37 - Why You Can’t Say the Right Thing? (Especially When It Matters Most)
Have you ever walked away from a conversation with a loved one in active addiction/navigating recovery thinking...“Why didn’t I just say what I meant?”“Why do I always say that when I know it doesn't help?""Why did I say I was ok with that when I'm not?"If your nervous system is fried, your plate is overflowing, and your words keep getting caught in your throat - you’re not broken. You’re up to your absolute eyeballs with EVERYTHING and you are absolutely maxed out and struggling here.And this episode is your exhale. Inside, we’ll talk about:Why your brain shuts down in high-stress moments (it’s not your fault)What’s really behind the silence, the outbursts, the people-pleasingHow to interrupt the cycle with one phrase, one pause, one breathWhy kindness and clarity can coexist—and how to practise itIf you haven’t the Crisis Conversation Guide (What to say and what not to say when addiction takes over) ? Grab it now—it’s free and full of practical scripts to help you say what you mean (even when it’s messy):👉 Download the guideIf you’ve already downloaded The Crisis Conversation Guide, this is your next step. Ready to go deeper?Book a friendly, no-pressure chat with Amanda and explore what support might look like - without doing this alone, because you know you’ve been trying ‘that way’ for long enough by now.👉 Book in a friendly chat - Click here to find a time and let's talk about what's possibleYour peace matters. And you’re closer than you think. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Addiction Makes Three The Podcast, with Amanda Lockyer is dedicated to shining a light and understanding the lesser talked about side of addiction. The real impact it has on the partners and families of those that struggle with addiction.Are you struggling with a partners addiction and feel at a complete loss as to what to do?You feel like you have no one to turn to and are worried you'll be judged or your partner will be judged. It can feel like no one understands what you are going through and no one could really imagine what this is really like.We will cover what it is truly like to be on the other side of a loved one struggling with addiction or navigating recovery. We will also dive deep on tools, ideas and strategies that will really help you whether you are at the confusing beginning the messy middle or through the other side, including practical tips and ways that you can actually get back to living again, regardless of the path your partner chooses.I will share my own lived experiences and expertise as an Addiction Relationship Coach and Wife of someone someone that struggled with addiction and we will have experts and guests that can share their expertise and experience in this space too so that you truly know you are not alone and know that there are things you can do to help you, your family and your partner - whether you choose to stay in the relationship, leave or leave for now.For more information and support and to find out how you can work with me for 1:1 and group coaching, check out the website or find me on Instagram.New episodes weekly.Please rate and review the podcast if you enjoy it.Show linksI love connecting with the lovely listeners here, so head over to Instagram and let's be friends: https://instagram.com/addictionmakesthree/Ready to think about what could help? Book in a friendly chat: https://addictionmakesthree.as.me/friendlychatIf you'd like to implement what have been learning on the podcast Join the waitlist for the next Pathway to Wellness Coaching Program: https://www.addictionmakesthree.com/waitlist Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Ireland