Exploring the Depths of Shadow Work: Conroy Harris on Embracing Our Hidden Selves
In this episode of "All Things Conflict," Maria Arpa welcomes Conroy Harris, a shadow work therapist and former CEO of a mentoring organization called Band of Brothers. Their conversation delves into the concept of shadow work, which involves exploring the hidden aspects of our psyche, particularly emotions like anger and grief, to achieve a sense of wholeness. Conroy shares insights on how societal norms often suppress these emotions, leading to destructive behaviors and disconnection. They also discuss the shadow work needed within organizations, particularly in the context of power dynamics and ethical practices, highlighting the importance of self-reflection for individuals in positions of authority. The episode emphasizes the need for safe spaces to express and integrate our darker emotions, ultimately fostering healing and understanding in both personal and organizational contexts.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Understanding Shadow Work: Shadow work involves exploring the hidden parts of our psyche, particularly the emotions and traits we often suppress, such as anger and grief. By integrating these aspects, individuals can achieve a sense of wholeness and healing.
Safe Expression of Emotions: There is a critical distinction between expressing anger and acting it out destructively. Safe spaces for expression allow individuals to confront their emotions without fear of humiliation or punishment, which is essential for personal growth.
Cultural and Organizational Shadows: Organizations have their own collective shadows, which can manifest in power dynamics and ethical failures. The culture within organizations often reflects unspoken rules and can lead to harmful behaviors if not addressed.
Individual Responsibility for Change: Change within organizations and society begins with individuals taking responsibility for their own shadows. Self-reflection and acknowledgment of personal issues are crucial for fostering a healthier environment.
Need for Trauma-Informed Practices: There is a gap in trauma-informed practices for those in positions of power. Understanding the trauma that may drive individuals to seek power is essential for creating a more ethical and effective system, particularly in fields like law enforcement and justice.
SOCIAL LINKS
www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org
www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk
www.workplacehuddle.com
https://www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk/training/
HOST BIO
Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).
Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.
This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/
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36:34
The Barrister Teaching Kids What Schools Don’t — How to Survive the System
In this powerful and eye-opening episode, Maria Arpa sits down with Sarah Wilson, a criminal barrister and founder of Streetwise Law, to explore how young people can protect themselves within the justice system.
After leaving a career in the music industry, Sarah entered criminal law and soon realised that most young people who came into contact with the system simply didn’t understand their rights. That realisation inspired her to create Streetwise Law — an initiative that brings real legal education into classrooms, youth groups, and communities across the UK.
From the truth about stop and search, to the hidden costs of ignorance, to how education can break cycles of harm, Sarah’s work is changing the conversation around justice, empowerment, and youth leadership.
This is an episode about purpose, courage, and what it really means to make justice accessible to everyone.
Key Takeaways
Knowledge is protection: Most young people don’t know what their rights are when dealing with police — and that’s exactly what Streetwise Law is fixing.
Education is empowerment: When young people learn their legal rights, they gain the confidence to navigate authority safely and respectfully.
Stop and search clarity: Sarah breaks down what the police can and can’t do — and how small misunderstandings can change lives.
From music to law: Sarah’s career shift shows how following purpose can turn personal experiences into social change.
Real impact: Streetwise Law is creating ripple effects — reducing youth offending, improving relationships with police, and empowering communities through knowledge.
Links
https://streetwiselaw.com/
https://www.instagram.com/streetwiselaw1/
Marias Training
https://www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk/training/
Social Links
www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org
www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk
www.workplacehuddle.com
HOST BIO
Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).
Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.
This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/
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58:00
Justice Redesigned - All Things Conflict Series 3
In this episode of "All Things Conflict," Maria Arpa introduces a new series titled "Justice Redesigned," which explores the complexities of justice and social impact in today's world. Drawing on her 30 years of experience in social justice, Maria emphasizes the importance of fairness, equality, and respect, while acknowledging the challenges faced by individuals who feel voiceless and marginalized. The series will feature guests with lived experiences in the criminal justice system, experts in rehabilitation, legal professionals, and individuals affected by significant injustices like the Windrush scandal. Through these discussions, Maria aims to highlight the grassroots efforts being made to address systemic failures and inspire listeners to engage in meaningful change within their communities.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Importance of Justice: Justice, fairness, equality, and respect are fundamental human needs that become particularly noticeable when they are absent in society.
Complexity of Issues: The current social landscape is complex, with many individuals and organizations striving to make a positive impact, despite the perception that systems are failing.
Focus on Real Experiences: The series will feature guests with lived experiences of the criminal justice system, highlighting the need for rehabilitation and reintegration of individuals who have faced incarceration or societal exclusion.
Community Empowerment: Discussions will explore how communities can come together to reduce their reliance on government support, emphasizing the importance of local initiatives and grassroots efforts.
Valuing Ground-Level Work: The series aims to shift the narrative from political and media critiques to spotlighting those actively working to create change in the justice system and their communities.
SOCIAL LINKS
www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org
www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk
www.workplacehuddle.com
HOST BIO
Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).
Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.
This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/
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Series 2 Wrap Up
In this episode of "All Things Conflict," Maria reflects on the key insights gained from a series of conversations with leaders and executives, emphasizing the importance of slowing down and truly listening to one another. The discussion highlights how people desire to feel valued and heard, yet often, conversations are dominated by a debate model that prioritises winning arguments over understanding. Maria argues that listening is an art that is rarely taught, leading to misunderstandings and unnecessary conflicts in various aspects of life, from personal relationships to the workplace. To address this, the episode introduces the concept of dialogue as a remedy, advocating for a collaborative approach where every participant contributes to the solution. Maria encourages listeners to consider the transformative potential of genuine listening and connection in their own lives and communities.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Importance of Listening: A recurring theme in the discussions with leaders is the significance of slowing down and truly listening to others, as it fosters a sense of value and importance in conversations.
Art of Conversation: Effective communication is an art that is often overlooked in formal education. While technical aspects of language are taught, the nuances of having meaningful conversations, especially when emotions are involved, are not.
Debate vs. Dialogue: Society tends to favor a debate model of conversation, which can lead to unnecessary arguments. In contrast, dialogue encourages collaboration and understanding, recognizing that everyone has a piece of the solution.
Need for Unlearning: To engage in productive dialogue, individuals must unlearn the debate model that they are accustomed to and adopt a mindset that values listening and connection.
Building Connections: Taking the time to build quality connections through listening can transform interactions in various settings, including workplaces, homes, and social environments, ultimately leading to more effective problem-solving.
SOCIAL LINKS
www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org
www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk
www.workplacehuddle.com
HOST BIO
Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).
Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.
This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/
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The Heart of Service: Michelle Pinkney on Leadership and Healing in Community
In this episode of "All Things Conflict," Maria Arpa welcomes Michelle Pinckney, a nurturing community member and caterer, to discuss the often-overlooked impacts of conflict within community settings. Drawing from her experiences, Michelle shares insights on the challenges of leadership, the importance of effective communication, and the detrimental effects of suspicion and rivalry among community members. She emphasises the need for curiosity over suspicion and highlights the significance of understanding intentions in fostering healthy relationships. As they explore the dynamics of giving and receiving support, Michelle also shares her journey of transitioning into a catering business focused on nutritious, farm-to-table meals, aiming to serve those in need while nurturing the community. This heartfelt conversation sheds light on the complexities of community life and the potential for healing through connection and service.
KEY TAKEAWAYS
Good Intentions vs. Capability: Many individuals in community settings have good intentions but may lack the capacity to provide the necessary support, leading to frustration and conflict.
Communication is Key: Misunderstandings often arise from a lack of effective communication. The message sent is not always the message received, which can lead to unnecessary conflict.
Curiosity Over Suspicion: Transforming suspicion into curiosity can help resolve conflicts. Instead of making assumptions, approaching situations with a desire to understand can foster better relationships and communication.
Leadership Dynamics: In community settings, there can be a struggle for leadership roles, leading to rivalry and fragmentation. Effective leadership requires collaboration and the ability to share power, rather than hoarding it.
Healing Through Service: Engaging in acts of service, such as providing nutritious food, can be a powerful way to nurture both individuals and communities, promoting healing and connection.
BEST MOMENTS
"When conflict arises and it's not resolved in a healthy way, there are all these other people that suffer at the other end of that." - Maria Arpa
"Sometimes we may just need someone to just sit down and have a cup of tea with someone else and just be there with them." - Michelle Pinkney
"The message sent is not always the message received." - Michelle Pinkney
"Changing suspicion to curiosity can change how you see something and how you want to handle it going forward." - Michelle Pinkney
"There's a way that the leader... isn't given... the reins." - Michelle Pinkney
SOCIAL LINKS
www.centreforpeacefulsolutions.org
www.peacefulsolutions.org.uk
www.workplacehuddle.com
HOST BIO
Maria founded the Centre for Peaceful Solutions in response to the fatal shooting of a 7 year old in her neighbourhood. She developed a model of conflict resolution for violent crime using her brainchild, the Dialogue Road Map (DRM).
Over 30 years she has mediated everything from threat to life gang disputes to high stakes business deals gone wrong, Maria empowers people to resolve conflict without reliance on experts. So she trains violent prisoners to be facilitators, leaders to be effective communicators, teenagers to be peer mediators and neighbours to be tenant listeners within their respective communities.
This Podcast has been brought to you by Disruptive Media. https://disruptivemedia.co.uk/
Who doesn't have conflict in their lives? Whether at work, at home or somewhere out in the world we are all affected by conflict even when it is indirect. The impact of poorly managed conflict can devastate lives. With 30 years’ experience mediating conflict and training peacemakers, Maria has held people’s hearts through everything from workplace hostility, board room battles, belligerent teenagers, separated parents at loggerheads to neighbours at war, street gang rivalries, threats to life and business deals gone wrong. In this podcast Maria lifts the lid on why we fight and how we can resolve conflict and design it out of our lives. Maria’s mission is to reduce unnecessary human suffering through conscious awareness, facilitated dialogue and trauma healing, using her communications tool, the Dialogue Road Map.
Ireland