Ask the Unfaithful

• Episode 53: 10 Ways the Unfaithful's Distorted Thinking Destroys Hope

  Stinking Thinking is more than just negative self-talk—it’s the distorted, automatic thought patterns that block empathy, sabotage trust, and keep both the unfaithful and the betrayed partner stuck in cycles of pain. In this episode of Ask The Unfaithful, we unpack how “stinking thinking” shows up after infidelity: • The 5 categories of distorted thoughts • How these toxic beliefs re-traumatize the betrayed partner  • The devastating psychological effects on the unfaithful • Why distorted thinking erodes the relationship and prevents repair • Practical tools to challenge, reality-check, and rewire stinking thinking for true relational healing 💡 Understanding and addressing stinking thinking is critical to emotional sobriety and lasting relational recovery. 👉 If this episode resonates with you, please like, share, and subscribe for more conversations on betrayal trauma, affair recovery, and building trust again. 📺 For more helpful content, we invite you to explore our companion show: Ask The Betrayed (@AskTheBetrayed on YouTube) 🔔 Please hit the bell to be alerted about new videos! ⚠️ Note: This episode is educational, not therapy. Please reach out for professional guidance at [email protected] to learn more about coaching or intensive options. 📧 Contact us: [email protected] 🔗 Need help healing? Visit HopeForUs.com (Email: [email protected] ) or email Sam at [email protected]\ 📬 Reach out: [email protected] 🎧 Find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. ------ Our Website: www.AskTheUnfaithful.com Contact us: [email protected] Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com Find more from Sam at Sam's Healing Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@samshealingpodcast Sam is also on Instagram: @Samuel_healing Follow James at LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/james-annear-lmhc-704551157 Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery 👍 Like, Subscribe, and Leave a Comment below to share what resonated most—or ask your question for a future episode.

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• Episode 52: Entitlement in the Unfaithful: From Demanding to Devotion

  Entitlement is the silent killer of recovery after infidelity. When an unfaithful partner comes from a position of entitlement, it poisons trust, sabotages healing, and deepens betrayal trauma. In this episode of Ask The Unfaithful, we unpack how adult entitlement shows up in the unfaithful partner, why it destroys safety and trust, and what it takes to break free from it. 👉 For betrayed partners: You’ll hear why entitlement makes you feel invisible, invalidated, and unsafe—and why your pain is real and justified. 👉 For unfaithful partners: You’ll learn how entitlement fuels continued betrayal trauma, how to spot it in your own thinking, and the steps needed to move from “deserve and demand” to “determined devotion.” What You’ll Learn in This Episode: • The hidden ways entitlement rationalizes betrayal • How entitlement hurts the Betrayed Partner • How entitlement in the Unfaithful actually hurts the Unfaithful Partner (!) • What drives selfishness, shame, and minimization • Why entitlement blocks empathy and real accountability • Steps to dismantle entitlement and rebuild relational integrity Whether you are the betrayed partner searching for clarity or the unfaithful partner ready to change, this episode helps you recognize entitlement. For the Unfaithful, it will give you the tools to replace entitlement with humility, empathy, and growth - and relational repair. 💬 Please leave a comment below 📺 For more helpful content, we invite you to explore our companion show: Ask The Betrayed (@AskTheBetrayed on YouTube) 🔔 Please Like, Subscribe and hit the bell to be alerted about new videos! ⚠️ Note: This episode is educational, not therapy. Please reach out for professional guidance at [email protected] to learn more about coaching or intensive options. 📧 Contact us: [email protected] 🔗 Need help healing? Visit HopeForUs.com (Email: [email protected] ) or email Sam at [email protected] 📬 Reach out: [email protected] 🎧 Find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. ------ Our Website: www.AskTheUnfaithful.com Contact us: [email protected] Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com Find more from Sam at Sam's Healing Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@samshealingpodcast Sam is also on Instagram: @Samuel_healing Follow James at LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/james-annear-lmhc-704551157 Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery 👍 Like, Subscribe, and Leave a Comment below to share what resonated most—or ask your question for a future episode.

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• Episode 51: 4 Ways Shame and Avoidance Sabotage Healing from Infidelity

  Shame and avoidance are two of the most powerful forces keeping unfaithful partners stuck after betrayal. In this episode of Ask the Unfaithful, we uncover how these patterns silently sabotage healing—for both you and your relationship—and what you can do to change it. 🔍 In this episode, we cover: ✅ 4 ways shame and avoidance show up in recovery ✅ Why emotional honesty is essential for rebuilding trust ✅ The 5 core steps to building shame resilience ✅ How to use the R.E.A.L. Method to share emotions without harming your partner ✅ Common pitfalls that can derail recovery—and how to avoid them If you’ve ever felt “stuck” in recovery or struggled to communicate without triggering more pain, this episode is for you. Whether you’re early in the healing process or further along, these tools will help you break the cycle of avoidance and move toward real connection. 💬 Please leave a comment below 📺 For more helpful content, we invite you to explore our companion show: Ask The Betrayed (@AskTheBetrayed on YouTube) 🔔 Please Like, Subscribe and hit the bell to be alerted about new videos! ⚠️ Note: This episode is educational, not therapy. Please reach out for professional guidance at [email protected] to learn more about coaching or intensive options. 📧 Contact us: [email protected] 🔗 Need help healing? Visit HopeForUs.com (Email: [email protected] ) or email Sam at [email protected] 📬 Reach out: [email protected] 🎧 Find us on Apple, Spotify, and everywhere podcasts are found. ------ Our Website: www.AskTheUnfaithful.com Contact us: [email protected] Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com Find more from Sam at Sam's Healing Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@samshealingpodcast Sam is also on Instagram: @Samuel_healing Follow James at LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/james-annear-lmhc-704551157 Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery 👍 Like, Subscribe, and Leave a Comment below to share what resonated most—or ask your question for a future episode.    

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• Episode 50: The Arousal Template: Identifying Triggers and Blindspots

  In this episode of Ask The Unfaithful, Sam and James take a deep dive into one of the most misunderstood—and most important—concepts in infidelity recovery: the Arousal Template. Too often, betrayed partners and unfaithful partners alike are left wondering: Why did this happen? Why do I keep making destructive choices? Can these unhealthy patterns ever change? This episode delivers answers—by unpacking: ✅ What the Arousal Template actually is and why it’s so critical to understand ✅ How early life experiences shape your unconscious sexual and emotional triggers ✅ Why understanding your arousal template is essential for long-term relapse prevention ✅ How these patterns form in secrecy, shame, and unmet emotional needs ✅ Specific questions and exercises to start mapping your own template ✅ How to rewire unhealthy arousal patterns and build an intimacy-based, connection-driven life This is a must-listen for any unfaithful partner serious about recovery—and for betrayed partners who want to better understand the underlying dynamics that drive betrayal behaviors. ⚠️ Note: This episode is educational, not therapy. Please reach out for professional guidance at [email protected] to learn more about coaching or intensive options. 📺 For more helpful content, we invite you to explore our companion show: Ask The Betrayed (@AskTheBetrayed on YouTube) 📧 Contact us: [email protected] 🔗 Need help healing? Visit HopeForUs.com (Email: [email protected] ) or email Sam at [email protected]  👍 Like, Subscribe, and Leave a Comment below to share what resonated most—or ask your question for a future episode. ------ Our Website: www.AskTheUnfaithful.com Contact us: [email protected] Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com Find more from Sam at Sam's Healing Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@samshealingpodcast Follow James at LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/james-annear-lmhc-704551157 Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

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• Episode 49: Was the Unfaithful Really in Love with the Affair Partner?

  In this powerful episode of Ask the Unfaithful, we unpack one of the most misunderstood emotional experiences in the aftermath of infidelity: limerence. Often confused with love, limerence is an obsessive, fantasy-fueled state that can hijack recovery and prolong betrayal. If you’ve ever felt “addicted” to your affair partner or struggled to break free—even when you know the relationship is destructive—this episode is for you. Join Sam and James as they explore: • What limerence really is (and what it’s not) • How emotional and sexual affairs can become neurologically addictive • The difference between a soulmate and a "woundmate" • The role of fantasy, childhood wounds, and emotional neglect • Early warning signs that you’re in a "Limerent Spiral" • Proven steps to break free and come back to reality • How to recognize limerence if you are in it - or if you're a betrayed observing it • How unfaithful partners can recognize, and heal from, the damage of limerence • This episode is a must-listen for couples trying to rebuild after infidelity, therapists supporting betrayal recovery, and anyone caught in the grip of obsession disguised as connection. 📺 For more helpful content, we invite you to explore our companion show: Ask The Betrayed (@AskTheBetrayed on YouTube) 📧 Contact us: [email protected] 🔗 Need help healing? Visit HopeForUs.com (Email: [email protected] ) or email Sam at [email protected] 📘 Download the FREE workbook for this episode: https://www.asktheunfaithful.com/down...  👍 Like, Subscribe, and Leave a Comment below to share what resonated most—or ask your question for a future episode. ------ Our Website: www.AskTheUnfaithful.com Contact us: [email protected] Find James & Sharon at the CORE Relationship Recovery website: www.HopeForUs.com Find more from Sam at Sam's Healing Podcast: https://www.youtube.com/@samshealingpodcast Follow James at LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/james-annear-lmhc-704551157 Follow CORE Relationship Recovery (James & Sharon) on Facebook: www.facebook.com/CORERelationshipRecovery

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