Life Of Caesar

Paetus is back. You remember Paetus - the general who declared "mission accomplished" against the Parthians and then immediately had to beg Corbulo to come rescue him. Now, ten years on, he's got a new emperor and a second chance at glory, and he's found himself a suitably soft target: Antiochus IV of Commagene, a loyal Roman client king of nearly forty years who, as far as anyone can tell, hasn't actually done anything wrong. Antiochus's response is to pack up his family, pitch a tent 22 kilometres outside the city, and basically wave his hands in the air going "see? nothing to see here." Vespasian, to his credit, tells Paetus to take the chains off the old man.... which is more than Paetus deserves.

The post One Punch, Paetus – Vespasian #27 appeared first on Life Of The Caesars.

Bassus is mopping up the last Jewish holdouts in Judaea, and things go about as well as you'd expect for everyone who isn't a Roman. The defenders of Machaerus negotiate a deal to walk free.... turns out the Gentiles living below the fortress weren't included in that deal. Then Vespasian, ever the pragmatist, declares all of Judaea his personal property and slaps a permanent tax on Jews everywhere in the empire. Not governing Judaea. Owning it.

The post The Landlord of Judaea – Vespasian #26 appeared first on Life Of The Caesars.

This episode we go deep on the hilltop fortresses still holding out in Judaea after the fall of Jerusalem, which turns into a very long detour through Pliny the Elder's chapter on menstrual blood.... which is, it turns out, absolutely packed with practical tips you can use at home. Don't let your pregnant horses anywhere near a menstruating virgin, obviously. We also get to Machaerus, the fortress where John the Baptist allegedly lost his head, and a magic root that will kill your dog but cure demonic possession, so swings and roundabouts.

The post Pliny’s Guide to Menstrual Magic – Vespasian #25 appeared first on Life Of The Caesars.

We're covering the triumph of Vespasian and Titus, and our eyewitness is Josephus.... a Jewish priest who watched Rome parade the looted contents of his own temple down the street and somehow managed to keep it together enough to write one of the most vivid accounts of a Roman triumph we have. The menorah, the multi-storey floats, rivers of gold and ivory, Jewish prisoners dressed in finery to hide how emaciated they were. It's an extraordinary document from an extraordinarily compromised man.

The post A River of Gold – Vespasian #24 appeared first on Life Of The Caesars.

This episode we're deep in the Temple of Isis - which turns out to be exactly where Vespasian and Titus had to spend the night before their joint triumph, for reasons both boring and genuinely weird. We also cover Decius Mundus, a man so obsessed with a married woman that he bribed priests to let him dress up as Anubis and have sex with her.... which Josephus drops right after his suspiciously glowing account of Jesus, purely by coincidence. And we take a hard look at whether Nero actually blamed the Christians for the Great Fire of Rome, or whether Tacitus just made that up fifty years later.

The post The God in the Dog Mask – Vespasian #23 appeared first on Life Of The Caesars.