The Catholic Man Show

Dave took another trip to the emergency room this week — though this one wasn't for him. His daughter Bernadette and one of his boys built a foam block bridge, she went off the side of it, landed on the wall, and broke her clavicle. Clean break. When Adam got the x-ray, he zoomed in, screenshotted just the broken collarbone, and sent it to Lady Haylee with no context — let her think Adam had been out grinding, building fences, shouldering it like a tough guy. Bernadette, for the record, is doing great. Three weeks and she's back to normal. As Dave put it, if you're going to break your clavicle, do it young. Don't do it at Jim's age.
A lot of life packed into this one before the topic. Adam and his boys, Luke and Jude, are going to read the Aeneid together this summer — Luke already read it at Holy Family Classical School, so he'll lead the way. Adam helped Dave harvest wheat (the invoice is coming), and the two of them talked homesteading honestly: you don't get into it to save time or money. It's a lifestyle, and the pork chop costs $400 if you're foolish enough to count your own labor. Adam also turned 40 — by the time this airs, the birthday's passed — and he spent his Substack this week reflecting on the four ten-year cycles he's got left, if he's lucky. The big lesson from 30 to 40: he had it backwards. He was making his life serve the business instead of the business serve his life. Build the habits of prayer, reading, and friendship young, because life only gets busier, and it's far easier to keep a habit than to add one.
Two prayer requests worth holding. Lady Pamela's due date is this week — baby Niles number seven, two middle names this time, names not yet shared. And baby Mary is still in the NICU. They're going to try again this week to take her off the breathing tube. She's weaning off sedation — which means withdrawals, which is hard — but she's gaining weight and getting stronger. Get past the tube and the next hill is open heart surgery. Adam's grateful for every prayer, and for the guys who sent DoorDash cards. Keep praying for Mary. And a shout-out to Dan O'Brien, David's father-in-law, walking the Camino as this drops — Dan, hope the feet are holding up.
This week's pour is a funny one: WhistlePig's 250th Anniversary of America 10-Year "Piggy Bank" Limited Edition Straight Rye, 55% ABV. The box is a literal piggy bank and the bottle is a chrome-plated ceramic pig. Spicier and more herbal than your Weller or Buffalo Trace — but smooth for the proof, with caramel and warm undertones. Picked up at Broken Arrow Wine and Spirits, owned by a good Catholic family from St. Benedict. Jim's yummy scale (bourbon scale): 5.87 out of 6.
Then the main course: the Finding of Jesus in the Temple. Luke 2, the last joyful mystery, the only Gospel that records it — and the very first time Jesus is recorded speaking. Adam walks through it with the Catena Aurea, Aquinas's compilation of the Church Fathers edited by St. John Henry Newman. The caravan to Jerusalem split women and children up front, men in the back, and a twelve-year-old could be in either — so Mary thought He was with Joseph, Joseph thought He was with Mary. Theophylact says it wasn't negligence. A logistical blind spot. Any father who's left a kid at church after coffee and donuts gets it.
The three days they searched? St. Ambrose says that's no accident — a rehearsal for the three days of the Passion, lost and then found again. The age of twelve is no accident either: right before the bar mitzvah, the Lord fulfilling the law perfectly, right on time, and twelve standing for the tribes and the apostles. Watch Mary, too. She brings her grief straight to her Son without accusation — "why have you done this to us?" — modeling how a soul carries pain to Christ: honestly, blaming no one, trusting before she fully understands. Watch Joseph, who says nothing, and pursues his mission relentlessly without drama. That's the masculine answer to adversity: very well, and you handle it. Protect, provide, establish.
Was Jesus being disobedient? The Fathers say no — His higher obedience to His Father's business ran underneath the surface, and verse 51 shows Him going home and being subject to them. God first, then family, and that order doesn't fracture the home. It grounds it. And where did they find Him? In the temple. His Father's house. Which is the whole point: you can find Jesus in nature, in the car, anywhere — but you are guaranteed to find Him in the church, body, blood, soul, and divinity, in the tabernacle of every Catholic church in the world. If you want to become holy, go be with Him. Get an adoration hour. Holiness doesn't happen the way Adam's buddy Juan figured he'd "just kind of one day have a six pack." You have to do something about it. Raise your glass.
TOPICS COVERED
Dave's daughter Bernadette breaking her clavicle falling off a foam block bridge the kids built
Adam screenshotting the x-ray and sending just the broken collarbone to Lady Haylee with no context
Adam reading the Aeneid with his sons Luke and Jude this summer — and why he's doing it men's-group style
Harvesting wheat, and the honest economics of homesteading ("the $400 pork chop")
Why you never homestead to save time or money — it's a lifestyle, not a shortcut
Adam turning 40 and his Substack reflection on the four ten-year cycles he has left
The biggest lesson from 30 to 40 — making the business serve your life instead of your life serving the business
Why habits of prayer, reading, and friendship are easier to keep than to add later
Leveraging competent friends instead of trying to do everything yourself
Lady Pamela due this week with baby Niles number seven — and the two-middle-names debate
Baby Mary update — another attempt to come off the breathing tube, weaning off sedation, gaining weight
Why open heart surgery is the next hill after the breathing tube
Dan O'Brien walking the Camino — a shout-out for sore feet
Bourbon of the week: WhistlePig 250th Anniversary 10-Year "Piggy Bank" Limited Edition Straight Rye, 55% ABV
The ceramic pig bottle, the piggy-bank box, and why a limited shelf whiskey runs $250–$350
Jim's yummy scale hitting 5.87 out of 6 on the bourbon scale
The Finding of Jesus in the Temple — Luke 2, the last joyful mystery, and the only Gospel that records it
The first recorded words of Our Lord
Reading the story through the Catena Aurea — Aquinas's compilation of the Fathers, edited by St. John Henry Newman
How the Passover caravan split women and children up front and men in the back — and how Jesus fell into the gap
Theophylact on why it was a logistical blind spot, not negligence or bad parenting
St. Ambrose on the three-day search foreshadowing the three days of the Passion and Resurrection
Why the age of twelve matters — the year before the bar mitzvah, and the symbolism of the twelve tribes and apostles
Jesus fulfilling the law perfectly and right on time, not jumping ahead
Mary bringing her grief to Christ without accusation — the model for carrying pain to the Lord
"About my father's business" vs. "in my father's house" — the translation and what it means
St. Bede on faith preceding comprehension — assenting before fully understanding
St. Joseph as the model father — pursuing his mission relentlessly, without drama or self-pity
Mary honoring Joseph's fatherhood — "your father and I" — and why spouses don't belittle each other
How complaining about your spouse to others actually breaks your wedding vows
Was Jesus disobedient? The Fathers say no — the higher obedience running underneath
The devil's-advocate case that He chose to be left behind, and His right as the Logos to do so
Jesus using the Socratic method in the temple — asking questions and "making them wonder upon him"
The hierarchy of Christ's presence — and why you're guaranteed to find Him in the tabernacle
A convert's story and the simple counsel: you just need to be in front of Jesus
"Nothing if not you" — non nisi te, Domine — St. Thomas Aquinas's answer to the Lord
The spiritual six pack — why holiness never just "happens on its own"
Getting an adoration hour as a statement about the kind of man you want to be

REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE
Books & Writings:
Catena Aurea by St. Thomas Aquinas, edited by St. John Henry Newman (the Fathers' commentary on the Gospels)
The Gospel of Luke, chapter 2 (the Finding in the Temple, vv. 41–52)
The Aeneid by Virgil (Adam's summer read with his sons)
The Iliad and the Odyssey by Homer (mentioned alongside Luke's classical reading)
Adam's Substack, The Grounded Builder — this week's reflection on his ten-year cycles

Saints & Church Fathers:
St. Thomas Aquinas (the Catena Aurea; non nisi te, Domine)
St. John Henry Newman (editor of the Catena Aurea)
Theophylact (the caravan blind spot, not negligence)
St. Ambrose (the three days foreshadowing the Passion; Mary's grief without rebuke; "right on time")
St. Bede the Venerable (faith preceding comprehension; the hierarchy of loves)
St. Teresa of Avila ("no wonder you have so few friends, with how you treat them")
St. Humbert of Romans (the importance of place and location in prayer)
The Blessed Virgin Mary and St. Joseph (the model of unified, honoring...

Adam's youngest son, John, locked himself in the bathroom. No big deal — kid's fine, sang songs in there for forty-five minutes like a champ. The problem was the doorknob. Broken cam, broken spring, faceplate screws on the wrong side, and no way in. So Adam did what any father of six at the end of a long day does: he took an angle grinder to the thing and ground the entire doorknob into a pile of metal shards on the floor. Dave's suggestion — order the door open under holy obedience — came in a little too late.
Then Dave told on himself. Reseating a toilet, scraping the wax ring, already in a state of borderline rage. He bumped the tank against the tile and cracked it. In a fit of Herculean fury he hoisted the seat over his head, ready to Hulk-smash it into a million pieces — and heard, somewhere, his guardian angel. Jesus doesn't want you to do this. He set it down. Didn't destroy it. And got rewarded for it: American Standard honored a lifetime warranty he didn't know he had and shipped him a $1,600 toilet, free, to replace the $200 one he broke. Resisting the rage paid out at eight to one.
Then a quieter note. Baby Mary is still in the NICU. They got her off the breathing tube — she lasted about 24 hours before she had to be re-intubated. Good progress, long road still ahead. Oklahoma City's two hours off, the kids are out of school, and the Minihans are looking at hiring a nanny. But Adam wanted to brag on Lady Haylee. A stranger at the NICU left her a handwritten note and a crochet sweater with Mary's name on it — telling Haylee her faith had been an encouragement, that God is using her right there in that place. Haylee wasn't trying to be a witness. She was just being a mother in a hard place. That's exactly why it landed. Keep praying for Mary.
This week's pour: Smoke Wagon Uncut Unfiltered Straight Bourbon from Nevada H&C Distilling out of Las Vegas. 59.29% ABV — hand-written on the bottle, so every batch runs a little different. Hot, full-flavored, plenty of grit. Jim's yummy scale gave it a 6.0, which broke the scale, because the scale apparently only went to four until tonight.
Then the real work. The spiritual significance of manual labor. Summer's coming — the season of labor — and the guys make the case that work isn't a curse of the fall. Adam was tending the garden before sin entered the world. His very name comes from the dirt — adamah — made from it, named for it, made to work it. St. Augustine: what's more wonderful than to watch God's creation respond to human hands? Aquinas gives his four reasons for manual labor — obtain your livelihood, remove idleness, curb concupiscence ("I'm almost too tired to sin"), and give alms from the surplus. And the deeper distinction: servile work, done out of necessity, and liberal work, done for the sake of rest. We don't work to work. We work so we can look at what we've made, see that it is good, and rest. Same thing a man does in the soil, he does for his wife — order the environment so the thing entrusted to him can thrive. Protect, provide, establish.
It's hard. It's supposed to be. What did you think hard was going to be? The man who can fix things is a threat to the throwaway culture — and the same will that fixes a thing is the will that prays the rosary on the morning you'd rather not. Raise your glass.
TOPICS COVERED
Adam grinding his kid's bathroom doorknob into shards with an angle grinder after his son John got locked in
Dave nearly Hulk-smashing a toilet seat in a fit of rage — and the guardian angel that stopped him
How resisting the rage earned Dave a free $1,600 American Standard toilet under a lifetime warranty
Baby Mary update — off the breathing tube for 24 hours, re-intubated, long road still ahead
The Minihans looking at hiring a full-time nanny with the kids out of school
The handwritten note and crochet sweater a stranger left Lady Haylee at the NICU
How you carry suffering as a Christian can be a witness even when you're not trying to be one
Bourbon of the week: Smoke Wagon Uncut Unfiltered Straight Bourbon, Nevada H&C Distilling, 59.29% ABV
Jim's yummy scale hitting 6.0 and breaking its own four-point ceiling
Why we even have to talk about manual labor when it used to be everybody's daily life
Attention as agency — guarding what you direct your mind toward in a world built to fracture it
Acedia, apathy, and becoming a cog flung to and fro like Francesca in Dante's ninth circle
"The world fears the man who can fix things" — Fr. Mori of Clear Creek Abbey
Throwaway culture and why things are programmed now instead of built to be repaired
Adam's M6 Marketing memo on "character without exception" — work and life are one line, not two
Manual labor in Genesis — Adam tending the garden before the fall, not after
Adamah — why the first man was made from dirt, named for dirt, and made to work it
St. Augustine on God's creation responding to human hands
Aquinas's four necessities of manual labor: livelihood, removing idleness, curbing concupiscence, giving alms
"I'm almost too tired to sin" — why a hard day's work curbs temptation
Servile work vs. liberal work — laboring out of necessity vs. laboring for the sake of rest
Josef Pieper and the Catholic mind: we work so that we can rest
Why hard is supposed to be hard, and how it trains the will
Choosing to pray the rosary on the morning you've already decided you won't
Self-sacrificial love — doing the dishes when you don't want to, because she shouldn't have to
Prayer as both work and rest — peace as the tranquility of order in this life, rest in the next
Why unstructured, leisurely time is where the desire to write, paint, and create actually surfaces
Passing the habit of manual labor — and the courage to fix things — down to your kids
"It's not about the nail" — the philosophy of life behind refusing to just throw things away

REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE
Books & Writings:
In Tune with the World: A Theory of Festivity by Josef Pieper
Leisure, the Basis of Culture by Josef Pieper (Pieper's broader work on work and rest)
Adam's Substack, The Grounded Builder — recent article on five overlooked books worth reading
The Book of Genesis (the creation and naming of Adam; the call to tend the garden)
Dante's Inferno (the ninth circle; Francesca in the second circle, flung to and fro)
Shakespeare's As You Like It (staged locally by the Sheard family and other homeschool families)

Saints & Historical Figures:
St. Thomas Aquinas (the four necessities of manual labor; servile vs. liberal work)
St. Augustine ("what is more wonderful than to observe the workings of nature...")
Adam (the first man — adamah, made from and for the dirt)

People:
Adam Minihan (host; founder of M6 Marketing; writes The Grounded Builder on Substack)
Dave Niles (host)
Jim (in studio — keeper of the yummy scale; shipping Patreon gifts; prays with Hallow)
Fr. Mori of Clear Creek Abbey ("the world fears the man who can fix things")
Brandon Sheard (quoted the same line; the Sheard family staged the Shakespeare production)
Dan (Dave's father-in-law — never trusted a man who works with music on in the background)
Josef Pieper ("the peepster" — Adam's favorite German philosopher)
Bob Ross (Dave's aspirational painting instructor)
Lady Haylee Minihan
Lady Pamela Niles

Programs & Institutions:
Clear Creek Abbey
Hallow (prayer app — Jim uses it; not a sponsor)
M6 Marketing (Adam's company)

SPONSOR BLOCK
Sponsor: Select International Tours — selectinternationaltours.com
When Adam and Dave decided to lead their first pilgrimage, one name kept coming up: Select International Tours. They're the best. Having used them, the guys can vouch for it. Wherever in the world you want to go, Select has a tour ready. Whether you're looking to lead a pilgrimage or attend one, head to selectinternationaltours.com and see everything they offer. You won't regret it.
Support the show: patreon.com/thecatholicmanshow — Patreon gifts are shipping out again, and the Catholic Man Show Glencairn glass is being paused soon (maybe back around Christmas). If you want one, become a patron now — you've got about four minutes.

Dave's been throwing parties. Three in four days. Confirmation sponsor for a friend's son, family and friends over the next night, and then — because the universe has a sense of humor — some local gentleman decided to remodel Dave's brick mailbox. With his truck. At speed. Bricks were found over a hundred feet away. The guy left his license plate behind, which Dave is now holding like a man who accidentally picked up evidence and doesn't know what to do with it. The driver's fine. Well — he's in jail. But he's alive. Dave wants him to know that God's mercy is always ready and present, even for the man who turned a brand-new brick mailbox into gravel.
Meanwhile, Adam got a new plum tree. Planted a maple. He's getting oaks for the pig pen so they'll drop acorns someday. One of his chickens died in a water barrel trap that nobody designed on purpose — the lid flipped, the chicken couldn't get out. Farm life. And then the real news: baby Mary is doing better. Haylee got to hold her. Adam held her for over three hours — only his second time since she was born in February. Three months of NICU, and the man finally got to just sit with his daughter. Praise God. Keep those prayers coming.
Also — Adam's turning 40 on June 2nd. And Lady Pamela is due with their next baby on June 4th. They floated the idea of recording an episode in the delivery room. Pamela has not been consulted.
This week we're sipping 13th Colony Distilleries Southern Rye Whiskey, French Oak Finish, Small Batch — 47.5% ABV. Platinum award-winning. Silky texture with hints of rye, apricot, and brown sugar. The rye's there but it doesn't overpower — still has a lot of bourbon elements to it. About forty bucks. That's a great buy.
Then the conversation turns to something Adam's son Jude sparked. Jude — Adam's second oldest — just finished reading the entire Bible, Genesis through Revelation, straight through. Now he's reading the Council of Trent Catechism. He's a kid. Nobody told him to do this. He just had good books lying around the house and picked them up. That's the whole point.
The virtue of study — studiositas — isn't what school taught us it was. It's not cramming. It's not memorizing facts to dump after the test. Aquinas calls it a habit of the mind ordered towards truth. Classical education at its best doesn't fill your head — it forms the way you think. The more you read rightly, the more you can arrive at correct conclusions through a sound process, not just recall. Study leads to contemplation. Contemplation is rest in truth. And it's not about finishing the book. If you're reading to check the box, you've already lost the plot. Sit with it. Let yourself be carried. The intellectual life doesn't compete with the family — it serves the family.
From there, Adam and Dave go back and forth on the books that actually formed them. Adam leads with Joseph Pieper's In Tune with the World — a short, devastating argument for why festivity dies when we strip the divine out of celebration. Dave counters with The Soul of the Apostolate — the book that reordered his understanding of what has to come first before any ministry means anything. Adam brings John Senior's The Restoration of Christian Culture — hard opinions, harder truths, and a quote worth sitting with: the virtue of study requires a canon, a body of great works proven across time. Without tradition to guide what's worth studying, you're just chasing novelty.
Dave goes deep on Fr. Timothy Gallagher's The Discernment of Spirits — a practical walkthrough of St. Ignatius's rules that shed light on the stages of the spiritual life and how the enemy shifts tactics as you grow. Adam responds with Raymond Arroyo's biography of Mother Angelica — a story of suffering, faithfulness, and a woman who said yes without knowing where it would lead. Dave makes a case for the Psalms — Psalm 51, the De Profundis in Latin, and the realization that there's a psalm for every moment of a man's life, and he'd been skimming past them for years.
Adam goes deep cut: Fr. Paul Murray's Aquinas at Prayer — a book that reoriented his understanding of St. Thomas from pure intellect to contemplative soul. Dave brings Divine Mercy in My Soul by St. Faustina — hundreds of pages of our Lord's words on mercy that are sometimes scandalously generous. Adam throws in Simon Sinek's Start with Why as the non-Catholic book that changed how he thought about business, marriage, and fatherhood. Both men land on fiction that haunts them — Adam with Sigrid Undset's Kristin Lavransdatter, Dave with Candice Millard's Hero of the Empire on young Churchill. They touch on Lencioni's Five Dysfunctions of a Team, Gone with the Wind, the bishop chapters of Les Misérables, Neil Postman's Amusing Ourselves to Death, and close with John Senior's Thousand Good Books — the canon itself, the list that connects it all.
They end where they always end: with Plato. They're halfway through the Republic in their great books group. David sits on the dumb couch. He knows he sits on the dumb couch. He's fine with it.
Raise your glass.
TOPICS COVERED
Dave's brick mailbox obliterated by a truck — bricks found 100 feet away, driver in jail, license plate left behind
Three parties in four days at Porter Prairie: confirmation, family gathering, and involuntary demolition
Dave building a grain cradle for his scythe for the upcoming grain harvest
Adam's new plum tree, maple tree, and oak trees planned for the pig pen
The chicken that died in a water barrel trap nobody designed on purpose
Baby Mary update — doing better, Adam held her for three hours, Haylee held her too
Adam turning 40 on June 2nd and Lady Pamela due June 4th
Bourbon of the week: 13th Colony Distilleries Southern Rye Whiskey, French Oak Finish, 47.5% ABV
Jude Minihan reading the entire Bible and now the Council of Trent Catechism — and nobody told him to
Why having good books lying around the house matters more than assigned reading
The virtue of studiositas — Aquinas on study as a habit of the mind ordered towards truth
Study isn't cramming — it's forming the way we think, not filling our heads
Why finishing the book isn't the point — sit with it, let yourself be carried
The intellectual life doesn't compete with family — it serves the family
Joseph Pieper's In Tune with the World — why festivity dies without the divine
The Soul of the Apostolate — what has to come first before any ministry matters
John Senior's The Restoration of Christian Culture — hard opinions and the necessity of a canon
Fr. Timothy Gallagher's The Discernment of Spirits — St. Ignatius's rules made practical
Raymond Arroyo's biography of Mother Angelica — suffering, faithfulness, and saying yes
The Psalms as treasure — Psalm 51, the De Profundis in Latin, and why Dave had been skimming past them
Fr. Paul Murray's Aquinas at Prayer — reorienting Aquinas from intellect to contemplative
St. Faustina's Divine Mercy in My Soul — mercy so generous it's almost scandalous
Simon Sinek's Start with Why — a non-Catholic book that changed everything
Sigrid Undset's Kristin Lavransdatter — fiction that haunts you because it doesn't read like fiction
Candice Millard's Hero of the Empire — young Churchill before the cigar and the brandy
Patrick Lencioni's Five Dysfunctions of a Team — why hard conversations are acts of charity
Gone with the Wind — Rhett Butler as a man whose virtues take a lifetime to find
The bishop chapters of Les Misérables — Hugo's best character, written by a man who wasn't even a fan of the Church
Neil Postman's Amusing Ourselves to Death — prophetic in 1985, terrifying now
John Senior's Thousand Good Books — the canon that connects all the great works
The Count of Monte Cristo as a commentary on Dante's Inferno
Plato's dialogues — the Republic, Euthyphro, the Symposium, and why you need a great books group
Adam sits on the dumb couch at great books night and he's fine with it

REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE
Books & Writings:
In Tune with the World: A Theory on Festivity by Joseph Pieper
Leisure, the Basis of Culture by Joseph Pieper (mentioned)
The Intellectual Life by A.G. Sertillanges
The Soul of the Apostolate (Dave's pick)
The Restoration of Christian Culture by John Senior
The Death of Christian Culture by John Senior (mentioned)
The Discernment of Spirits by Fr. Timothy Gallagher (based on St. Ignatius's rules)
Mother Angelica: The Remarkable Story of a Nun, Her Nerve, and a Network by Raymond Arroyo
Aquinas at Prayer by Fr. Paul Murray, O.P.
Divine Mercy in My Soul by St. Maria Faustina
Start with Why by Simon Sinek
Kristin Lavransdatter by Sigrid Undset
Anna Karenina by Leo Tolstoy
The Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni
Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell
Hero of the Empire: The Boer War, a...

Indian paintbrush showed up at Porter Prairie Family Farm this week — native Oklahoma wildflower, first time Adam's seen it on his property. He didn't plant it. Nobody did. The seed bank was just dormant, waiting for the soil to be right. Two years of cattle grazing in the back pasture, no mowing, better land management — and something long dormant finally decided it was safe to bloom. Joel Salatin talks about this: when the practices change, when a property gets new stewardship, the land seems to know it. So does grace.
David's been busy in a different direction. He wired up an automatic door for the chicken coop — actuator, relay, battery, timer — a sliding gate that covers the nesting boxes so the younger chickens stop sleeping in them and fouling the eggs. Under $150 total, including an actuator that lifts 300 pounds for thirty bucks. When he asked Lady Pamela what she wanted it to look like, she said: prison bars coming down. "We'll call it the Henna Tincture." David said say no more. The Henna Tincture it is.
This week we're sipping Heaven Hill Bottled in Bond, Kentucky Straight Bourbon, 7 years — same distillery as Elijah Craig and Evan Williams. No gimmicks, under fifty bucks, smooth finish with a peanut butter quality that works. Bottled in bond since the Act of 1897. Very solid.
Quick update on baby Mary: she's still having good days. Praise God. Keep her and Lady Haylee in your prayers. Adam also headed out to Arkansas over Mother's Day weekend to be with his goddaughter JoJo Kleine for her First Holy Communion — and got to watch nephew Danny Kleine go two-for-two at the plate with at least one RBI. After months of watching a daughter fight for her life in a NICU, sometimes what a soul needs is family, a Mass, and a kid absolutely cranking baseballs.
Then we get into it: the papacy. A year in with Pope Leo XIV — the first American pope, the man who took the name knowing exactly whose shoes he was stepping into — and what does all of it mean? Where does that authority come from, and what's it actually for?
Dave traces it back to the Davidic kingdom. When the king left for war, he handed the keys to his steward, who operated with full royal authority until the king returned. Matthew 16 isn't symbolism. "What you bind on earth will be bound in heaven" — the Jews at the time knew exactly what that meant. That's why Peter is listed first among the apostles almost every time. He was their leader. He had the keys. Two thousand years of unbroken succession later, here we are.
But then the conversation goes somewhere unexpected. Authority is given to you so that you might serve those over whom you have authority. Not for your own glory. Not so people owe you. The pope is literally titled Servant of the Servants of God. The same authority Christ handed to Peter is the same authority He described in the upper room — the pagans lord it over their subjects, but not so among you. You will be the one who serves.
For fathers, that cuts. Pope John Paul II stood up against governments, even after taking a bullet. He kept going out. What does that courage look like in an ordinary household? Probably not a wound in the square. More likely a different kind of martyrdom — the kind where you make a decision for your family that nobody else understands, that your kids resent for a season, that costs you something in your social circle. You make it anyway. Because you've prayed about it, talked it through with your wife, and you know in your gut it's the right thing for your people. You stand on the island by yourself if you have to.
Dave closes with something worth trying: he prays specifically to the Holy Spirit to give Lady Pamela strong motherly intuition into the inner lives of their children. When she says something feels off, he pays close attention. That's him exercising his authority — his fatherly papacy — to draw more grace into his household. Not to control everything himself. To pray for the right graces for the right people.
The fatherly papacy, if you will.
Raise your glass.
TOPICS COVERED
Indian paintbrush flowers appearing at Porter Prairie — and why the land responds to new stewardship
Joel Salatin and the School of Traditional Skills on how cattle and management change soil biology
David's automatic chicken coop door: actuator, relay, timer, and the Henna Tincture
David's wheat harvest coming up — 12,000 square feet, building a grain cradle for the scythe
Bourbon of the week: Heaven Hill Bottled in Bond, 7-year Kentucky Straight Bourbon
JoJo Klein's First Holy Communion and nephew Danny Klein's two-for-two at the plate
Baby Mary update — still having good days, keep her in your prayers
Pope Leo XIV's one-year anniversary — the first American pope and what it means to hear him speak in American English
The modern problem of instant information and why it's harder than ever to be the pope
Why interview questions on a plane, stripped of all context, are unfair to any human being
The name you give a child is an inheritance — a new name inherits nothing
Why Adam named Leo Thomas after Pope Leo XIII and Thomas Aquinas, and John Dominic after the Apostle and the Dominicans
Pope Leo XIII: the Marian pope, the social doctrine pope, the first pope ever filmed
Thomas Aquinas on the papacy — Contra Gentiles and the Summa
The Davidic kingdom and the keys: Matthew 16 as a transfer of royal authority, not a metaphor
The question of authority — Trent Horn, Protestants, atheists, and why it always comes down to this
Why the things closest to heaven get attacked the hardest — authority and sexuality as parallel examples
The pope as Servant of the Servants of God — and what that actually costs
Pope John Paul II standing up against communist governments even after being shot
What putting yourself in harm's way looks like for fathers: social martyrdom, not bullets
Making decisions for your family that your kids, their friends, and their friends' parents all disagree with
The German church and what a timeout looks like at the universal level
Why the Church has been around for 2,000 years and what that tells you
Praying for your wife's specific graces — and why Dave prays for Lady Pamela's motherly intuition
Authority as the source of efficacious prayer — a father's prayers for his children
The TOTUS TUUS decision and trusting a mother's intuition
Pope Leo's upcoming AI encyclical — and why millennials are the generation tasked with figuring this out
The fatherly papacy — what domestic authority and universal authority share

REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE
Books & Writings:
Summa Theologiae by St. Thomas Aquinas
Summa Contra Gentiles by St. Thomas Aquinas

Saints & Historical Figures:
St. Thomas Aquinas
Pope Leo XIII (social doctrine, Marian encyclicals, first pope ever filmed)
Pope Leo XIV (Robert Prevost, first American pope)
Pope John Paul II (stood against communist governments, continued ministry after assassination attempt)
Pope Francis (repose of his soul — the men still catching themselves saying the wrong name)
King David / the Davidic kingdom (Old Testament typology for the papacy)
St. Peter (first pope, holder of the keys)

People & Guests:
Joel Salatin — School of Traditional Skills
Trent Horn (Catholic apologist, debates on authority)
Patrick Stephen (listener and Instagram follower who suggested the topic)
JoJo Klein — Adam's goddaughter, received First Holy Communion
Danny Klein — Adam's nephew, baseball
Lady Haylee Minihan
Lady Pamela Niles
Luke Minihan (Adam's oldest)
Mary Minihan (in the NICU)

Programs:
TOTUS TUUS (Catholic youth formation program)
School of Traditional Skills (online homesteading video subscription)

Scripture:
Matthew 16:18-19 — "I give you the keys to the kingdom"
John 20:23 — binding and loosing

SPONSOR BLOCK
Sponsor: Select International Tours — selectinternationaltours.com
When Adam and Dave decided to lead their first pilgrimage, they asked around, and the same name came up over and over: Select International Tours. Having used them, they can tell you it's deserved. Whether you want to lead a pilgrimage or join one, Select has a tour ready for wherever the Lord is calling you. Head to selectinternationaltours.com and take a look.

We open the show on a wiffle ball game in the backyard. Adam's pitching. Jude's at the plate — right-handed, like always. Adam throws a sinker. Jude cranks it. Home run. On dad. In front of the whole family. Adam shakes it off, gets ready to deliver some justice on the next at-bat… and Jude steps over to the left side of the plate. "Jude, what are you doing?" "Dad. Just pitch the ball." Brushback pitch. Second swing — gone. Out of the park. Left-handed. Turns out Jude found out earlier that day he can bat from either side and forgot to mention it. Adam took it like a man — somewhere between humiliated and proud. Dave's response: this is why he still brushes his teeth left-handed. To stay coordinated. (Adam also has four cavities. Unrelated.)
This week we're sipping Laphroaig Càirdeas 2024 — Triple Wood & PX Casks. Aged ten years in ex-bourbon and quarter casks, finished in Pedro Ximénez sherry casks. 52.4% ABV. Dark cherry-amber in the glass — uncharacteristic for an Islay. The classic peat smoke is there, then it opens into ginger, fruit, sherry sweetness. Càirdeas means friendship in Gaelic, which is exactly where the episode is headed. About $130-$140. Limited release, every year a little different.
Mary update: she's off the paralysis medicine. Still heavily sedated, but her eyes are open. She's looking around. Oxygen, blood pressure, heart rate — all trending in the right direction. More good days than bad right now. Adam and Lady Haylee are grateful. Keep them in your prayers.
Then we get into it: spiritual friendship, through St. Aelred of Rievaulx — the 12th-century Cistercian abbot whose book Spiritual Friendship is basically the Catholic doctrine on what a real friend is. He opens it with this line: "Here we are, you and I, and I hope that Christ makes a third with us." That's the whole thing.
Adam walks through the bell curve of zeal every man hits when he starts taking his faith seriously. Phase one: you read everything, you want to tell everybody, you should start a podcast. Phase two: you realize you know almost nothing and you go quiet. Phase three is where Aelred meets you — somewhere between "let me lecture you" and "I'm not qualified to say anything." The answer isn't to forfeit the zeal. It's to ground it in humility. You don't have the answers because you are not the answer. Christ is. But you do have your own experience, and what He's done in your life is yours to share.
Aelred's rules for friendship cut right through the noise. Spiritual friendship is not a teacher-student relationship — both men give, both men receive. Don't sacrifice your own vocation to be a "spiritual father" to someone else. When you meet, it's not the depth of the conversation that matters most, it's the consistency. And the cheat-code question for getting under the surface: how's your prayer life? Try that on a buddy this week and see what happens.
We close on Aristotle and the Eucharist. Nicomachean Ethics lays out hierarchies of friendship — friendship of utility, of pleasure, of virtue — but you can't be an authentic friend if you don't first know the good. And the good, ultimately, is Christ in the Eucharist. If the man you call your friend doesn't live a Eucharistic life, you may have a buddy. You don't yet have a spiritual friend. Make one. Be one. Bring him to Christ.
Raise your glass.
TOPICS COVERED
Jude's ambidextrous wiffle ball ambush and the inevitable day every dad gets cranked on
Adam's left-handed toothbrushing regimen and his four cavities (related, probably)
Why the Càirdeas release is one of the most interesting Islay bottlings out there
An update on baby Mary — off the paralytic, eyes open, more wins than losses
The bell curve of zeal — and why most men quit halfway up the back side
St. Aelred of Rievaulx, the 12th-century Cistercian abbot the Church basically credits as the doctor of friendship
"Here we are, you and I, and I hope that Christ makes a third with us" — the opening line of Spiritual Friendship
Why spiritual friendship is not a teacher-student relationship and why treating it like one ruins it
The danger of becoming the guy who turns every conversation into a lecture
Don't sacrifice your own vocation to play spiritual father to someone else's
Consistency beats intensity — and why a Pelagian attitude toward your men's group will wear you out
"How's your prayer life?" — the question that breaks past small talk in under thirty seconds
Vulnerability as a man's strength, not his concession to a cultural buzzword
Why one man's honest confession in a group does more for the listeners than the speaker
Lady Haylee and Lady Pamela both telling their husbands, in different houses, the same thing: you're a better man when you come back from those groups
Subsidiarity in friendship — the smallest circle is always the most important circle
Aristotle's hierarchy of friendship and why you can't be an authentic friend without knowing the good
The Eucharist as the prerequisite for real spiritual friendship between men
Make a friend. Be a friend. Bring a friend to Christ.
Bourbon of the week: Laphroaig Càirdeas 2024, Triple Wood & PX Casks

REFERENCED IN THIS EPISODE
Books:
Spiritual Friendship by St. Aelred of Rievaulx — be careful of older translations from the 60s and 70s that read sexualization into the text that isn't there
Nicomachean Ethics by Aristotle
Purgatorio by Dante (Adam's office reading group, currently working through it)

Saints:
St. Aelred of Rievaulx
St. Benedict (and the Cistercian reform out of the Benedictine order)
St. Peter (the lawn chair analogy)

People & references:
Lady Haylee Minihan
Lady Pamela Niles
Adam's Substack (where he wrote about the Dante reading group)
The friend in Adam's office who told him, "I didn't even realize that friendship like that existed"

Concepts & passages:
John 15: "I no longer call you slaves, but friends"
The three Aristotelian friendships: utility, pleasure, virtue
The four ends of friendship in St. Aelred
The "Friends of Laphroaig" plot program
The three TCMS pillars: Protect, Provide, Establish

SPONSOR BLOCK
Sponsor: Select International Tours — selectinternationaltours.com
When Adam and Dave decided to lead their first pilgrimage, the same name kept coming up: Select International Tours. Having now used them, we can tell you they're the real deal. Whether you want to lead a pilgrimage or join one, Select has a tour ready for wherever the Lord is calling you. Head to selectinternationaltours.com and take a look.