The Coaching Crowd® Podcast with Jo Wheatley & Zoe Hawkins

• Emotions are Unmet Needs in Coaching

  Have you ever paused to ask yourself what your emotions are really trying to tell you? In this episode, we explore one of the most transformative principles in emotional coaching: the idea that emotions are unmet needs. This concept reshapes how we relate to our inner experiences, moving from seeing emotions as random or inconvenient to viewing them as valuable signposts guiding us toward greater self-understanding and balance. As we reflect on this principle, we’re reminded of how often our emotions offer insight into something deeper, such as a need for safety, connection, clarity, or growth. When we shift from judging our emotions to becoming curious about them, we begin to uncover their hidden wisdom. That curiosity is where transformation begins, both for ourselves and for our coaching clients. In our conversation, we explore what happens when we approach emotions not as problems to fix but as messages to interpret. We discuss how naming emotions helps to release their intensity and how exploring the need beneath them invites self-compassion and meaningful action. Sometimes that insight can be profound, and at other times beautifully simple, like realising that nervousness before a meeting might be calling for preparation time or reassurance. This approach creates space for honesty and courage. Many clients have never been asked, “What does that feeling need?” Giving permission to express an unmet need, whether for clarity, respect, or support, can be profoundly healing. When we help clients identify and articulate those needs, we empower them to take small, grounded steps that lead to significant change. We also explore how this principle connects to values, beliefs, and goals, which together form the four core pillars of coaching. Unmet needs often sit at the intersection of values and emotions, revealing what truly matters to each individual. When clients begin to interpret their emotions as meaningful signals rather than irrational responses, their relationship with themselves transforms. They move from feeling controlled by emotions to feeling more in control because of them. Ultimately, this principle is not only a coaching tool but a life skill. By listening to our emotions and recognising what is missing, we nurture emotional intelligence, deepen self-awareness, and create a more compassionate relationship with ourselves and others.   Timestamps: 00:28 - Understanding emotions as unmet needs 01:21 - Common examples of emotions signalling deeper needs 02:20 - Using curiosity to step outside the emotional experience 03:19 - How curiosity dissipates emotional intensity 04:33 - The power of expressing unmet needs in coaching 06:00 - Moving from judgment to understanding 07:29 - Bringing lightness and simplicity to emotions work 08:27 - The three steps of emotions coaching in practice 10:21 - Applying the principle to coaching preparation 11:15 - Linking emotions to values, beliefs, and goals 12:44 - Turning emotional awareness into action and growth 13:39 - Helping clients feel more in control of emotions 15:06 - The ripple effect of emotional awareness in coaching practice 16:00 - Learning more through the Emotions Coaching Practitioner programme   Key Lessons Learned: Emotions are valuable messages that reveal unmet needs rather than random feelings. Curiosity helps create distance from emotional intensity and opens access to insight. Asking “What does this feeling need?” empowers clients to name and meet their needs. Emotional exploration is both deep and light, transformative yet practical. Linking emotions to values and beliefs creates powerful coaching breakthroughs. Emotional awareness builds self-regulation, confidence, and compassion. Naming emotions and identifying needs enhances client agency and resilience. The principle of unmet needs applies to both coaching and everyday life. Emotional literacy helps shift from reactivity to reflection. This work creates a ripple effect of personal and professional transformation.   Keywords: emotional coaching, unmet needs, coaching practice, emotional intelligence, self-awareness, values-based coaching, emotions in coaching, emotional literacy, coaching psychology, curiosity in coaching,   Links & Resources Emotions Coaching Demo: igcompany.com/emotionsdemo http://www.igcompany.com/emotionscoaching

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• You Are Not Your Emotions in Coaching

  What if the emotions you feel are not who you are? Have you ever caught yourself saying, “I’m not confident” or “I’m an anxious person”? In this episode of the podcast, we explore principle two of our Six Principles of Emotion series: You are not your emotions. So many of us, and our clients, confuse feelings with identity. We slip into patterns of speech where we equate ourselves with an emotion, making it part of who we are. This is where coaching can create powerful transformation. By helping clients separate their sense of self from the emotions they experience, we open the door to growth, choice, and freedom. In this conversation, we reflect on how over-identifying with emotions such as anxiety, fear, or guilt can keep people stuck. We also consider how positive emotions like joy or calm can become limiting when they are tied too tightly to identity. A client might say, “I’m a calm person,” yet find themselves disturbed by stress, which creates inner conflict. Through emotions coaching, we can offer new perspectives that allow people to explore who they are beyond these emotional labels. I found myself reflecting on the liberating power of simple shifts in language, from “I am anxious” to “I am feeling anxious right now.” That pause changes everything. It reminds us that emotions are designed to move and do not define us. When clients see this, they often regain clarity, confidence, and connection with themselves. This episode is an invitation to lean into conversations around emotions in your coaching. It’s about helping clients see they are more than their feelings and guiding them towards new ways of being that support their goals and wellbeing.   Timestamps: 00:30 – Why emotions are central to coaching conversations 01:00 – How clients over-identify with emotions 02:20 – Understanding emotions as temporary and designed to move 03:20 – Shifting language: from “I am” to “I feel” 06:00 – Exploring fear and preparing for confidence 08:00 – The liberating effect of separating self from emotion 10:00 – Recognising the emotions gap in coaching 13:00 – Using metaphors and perspectives to unlock insight 15:00 – When positive emotions create internal conflict 17:00 – Spotting identity narratives in coaching conversations 19:00 – Resources and training opportunities   Key Lessons Learned: Emotions are experiences, not identity. You are not your emotions. Language matters, small shifts from “I am” to “I feel” can unlock new perspectives. Over-identifying with both negative and positive emotions can create internal conflict. Coaching provides space for clients to separate themselves from their emotional experiences. Emotions coaching is about helping clients explore new perspectives, not telling them what to believe. Emotions are designed to move, getting stuck in them often signals where coaching can help.   Keywords emotions coaching, coaching and identity, confidence in coaching, separating self from emotions, emotional coaching principles, imposter syndrome coaching, managing anxiety in coaching, positive emotions and identity, coaching for emotional growth, language in coaching conversations,   Links & Resources Emotions Coaching Demo: igcompany.com/emotionsdemo http://www.igcompany.com/emotionscoaching

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• Emotions are Neither Good nor Bad in Coaching

  Have you ever caught yourself labelling your emotions as either good or bad, and wondered how that shapes the way you coach or experience life? In this episode of the podcast we begin a six-part series exploring the six principles of emotions coaching, drawn from our Emotions Coaching Practitioner Training. We open with the very first principle: Emotions are neither good nor bad. Too often, we attach labels to our feelings. We might view stress or anxiety as “bad” and chase after happiness as “good.” But when we categorise emotions in this way, we miss out on their deeper value. In our conversation, Jo and I share how emotions become defined not by their presence, but by the beliefs we attach to them. Zoe reflects on her own journey of recognising anxiety, an emotion she once denied, and how opening space for it led her to new levels of self-awareness and healthier strategies. We also discuss how coaches can inadvertently get pulled into their clients’ “get away from” energy, and how holding space with neutrality invites curiosity, possibility, and transformational growth. Throughout this episode, we show why suspending judgement around emotions is one of the most powerful coaching tools you can bring to your practice. Rather than trying to “fix” a client’s feelings, emotions coaching creates the conditions for richer insight, more authentic self-connection, and ultimately, greater transformation.   Timestamps: 00:30 – Introducing the six-part emotions coaching series 00:57 – What it means that emotions are neither good nor bad 02:20 – How clients bring emotions into coaching sessions 03:35 – The role of neutrality and curiosity in coaching 06:19 – Zoe’s personal experience of recognising anxiety 08:39 – Why emotions carry wisdom and strategies 13:16 – Coaching conversations around anger and fear 16:38 – Boundaries, aggression, and coaching at the root cause 18:40 – Why emotions coaching is not “fluffy” but deeply transformational 21:01 – The power of startling questions in coaching 22:00 – How to develop your own emotions coaching toolkit   Key Lessons Learned: Labelling emotions as good or bad prevents us from accessing their full value. Curiosity and neutrality allow clients to explore emotions without fear or resistance. Denying emotions (like anxiety or anger) can cause them to resurface in unhelpful ways. Emotions often carry wisdom, strategies, and insight when welcomed rather than avoided. Coaches add transformational depth by holding space for emotions instead of rushing to “fix” them. Leaders, executives, and clients alike benefit from having permission to explore emotions beyond surface goals.   Keywords: Emotions coaching, Coaching principles, Neutrality in coaching, Transformational coaching, Coaching and anxiety, Emotional intelligence coaching, Anger in coaching conversations, Coaching for leaders, Stress and coaching practice, Emotions are neither good nor bad,   Links & Resources: http://www.igcompany.com/emotionscoaching  

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• 9.5 Risk of Not Being a Coach

  What is the greatest risk of not developing coaching skills, and how might that decision shape your life and career? In this episode of the podcast, we explore the risks of not training to be a coach. We reflect on the subtle but significant ways coaching skills transform lives, relationships, leadership, wellbeing, and what happens when we don’t invest in them. As we explored this theme, we found ourselves thinking back to our own journeys. Had we not stepped into coaching, we know our confidence, resilience, relationships, and even the material aspects of our lives would look entirely different. Coaching has not only deepened our self-awareness but also enabled us to build stronger connections, communicate with impact, and navigate challenges with courage. In this conversation, we highlight 9.5 key risks that come from not being a coach. We talk about self-awareness as the foundation, the importance of emotional intelligence, and how disconnected intuition often leaves leaders overthinking at 4am. We also discuss the impact of coaching on problem-solving, inclusion, resilience, and future leadership in a world shaped by AI and rapid change. One of the most profound reflections for me was realising that without coaching skills, we risk staying the same, missing out on our unrealised potential, stronger relationships, and the ability to influence the world around us. The greatest risk may not be failure but never stepping into what could have been possible. Whether you’re considering training to be a coach, or you’re curious about the wider benefits coaching can bring, this episode will give you a heartfelt and thought-provoking insight into why coaching matters more than ever.   Timestamps: 00:29 – Framing the question: what are the risks of not being a coach? 01:23 – Self-awareness as the foundation of growth 03:16 – Emotional intelligence and relationships 07:32 – Advanced communication skills and listening 08:30 – Reconnecting with intuition 12:09 – The future of work, AI, and the role of coaching 14:24 – Inclusion, belonging, and building cultures that matter 15:22 – Beyond the self: the systemic risks of not coaching 18:11 – Problem-solving, resilience, and wellbeing 22:20 – Coaching as courage, presence, and connection 24:46 – The greatest risk: staying the same   Key Lessons Learned: Without self-awareness, we risk limiting both our growth and the quality of our relationships. Emotional intelligence is not optional; it is essential for effective leadership and connection. Coaching develops advanced communication skills that prevent misunderstanding and strengthen trust. Intuition is an undervalued skill, coaching helps us to reconnect with it and reduce overthinking. In a world shaped by AI, coaching and human connection are the differentiators for future leaders. Coaching contributes to inclusive cultures and a genuine sense of belonging. A coaching mindset supports resilience, problem-solving, and wellbeing. Without coaching, we risk playing small, staying in old patterns, and never reaching our potential. The systemic risk is greater disconnection in workplaces and communities without coaching skills.   Keywords Used: coaching skills, self-awareness, emotional intelligence, leadership development, communication skills, intuition, future of work, inclusion and belonging, resilience and wellbeing, risks of not being a coach   Links & Resources: Coaching Quiz: mycoachingcourse.com

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• Transformational Listening as a Coach

  Do you really listen to ignite transformation, or are you listening to respond? When we think about our journey as a coach, one of the most powerful realisations has been that listening is not a passive act. It is an intentional, transformational choice that shapes the depth and quality of our conversations. In this episode we revisit listening as a critical coaching skill. Out of more than 200 episodes, we’ve only devoted 1 to listening before, which shows how easy it is to overlook this essential foundation of coaching. We explore what it means to listen not just with our ears but with our eyes, intuition, body, and presence. We reflect on Nancy Kline’s idea that listening well is not about preparing your next response but about igniting something in another person. From the earliest stage of self-focused listening to Otto Scharmer’s concept of generative listening, we walk through the levels of listening and share how they show up in coaching and everyday life. We reflect on moments when clients have asked us, “How did you know that?” They hadn’t explicitly told us something, but deep listening allowed us to hear what was unspoken. That level of listening is about creating a space where clients can feel deeply seen and heard, sometimes hearing themselves clearly for the first time in a long while. We also challenge the myth that one level of listening is “good” and another “bad”. Context matters. For example, neurodivergent clients may experience listening as most supportive when a coach shares something of their own in return. Listening, then, is not linear. It’s about attuning to the needs of the individual in front of you. This episode is both practical and reflective. We discuss summarising with the client’s own words, listening for emotion as well as content, and noticing the subtle shifts in tone, silence, or energy that can reveal deeper truths. Listening is not just about technique, it is about presence, compassion, and the courage to step aside so the client’s voice can emerge. If you’ve ever wondered what sets coaching apart from everyday conversation, this episode highlights why listening is the art and science at the heart of transformational coaching.   Timestamps: 00:50 – Why listening is the foundation of coaching 01:20 – Nancy Kline’s perspective: listening to ignite, not to respond 03:11 – Listening with eyes, body, and intuition 05:02 – Helping clients hear themselves clearly 07:25 – Why context matters: different listening styles for different clients 10:40 – The difference between listening in coaching vs everyday conversation 13:28 – Listening beyond words: noticing silence, energy, and emotion 16:20 – The role of presence and unlearning in coaching conversations 19:36 – Giving clients time to find and hear their own voice 21:01 – Practising transformational listening in everyday life   Key Lessons Learned: Listening is not about waiting to respond, it is about creating space for transformation. Different levels of listening exist, from self-focused to generative, and each has a place depending on context. Deep listening involves presence, intuition, and attention to both what is said and what is unsaid. Coaching requires unlearning conversational habits such as rushing to fix, summarising for ourselves, or inserting our own agenda. Presence and listening go hand in hand, true transformational listening helps clients reconnect with their own voice.   Keywords: Transformational listening, levels of listening in coaching, Nancy Kline listening, generative listening, coaching skills, deep listening, presence in coaching, active listening techniques, emotional listening, effective coaching conversations,   Links & Resources: Take the quiz to find the right coaching qualification for you: mycoachingcourse.com Join The Coaching Crowd Facebook community: search for

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About The Coaching Crowd® Podcast with Jo Wheatley & Zoe Hawkins