Healing For Love

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EXCITING NEWS - Love Wisely Foundations is here! Enroll now for this one of a kind program and receive early access benefits
Why do some people constantly put others first, struggle to say no, worry excessively about upsetting people, or feel guilty for prioritising themselves?
In this episode of Healing for Love, Dr. Gemma Gladstone explores the deeper psychology behind people pleasing through a schema therapy lens.
This is not simply about being “too nice.” People pleasing is often a learned survival strategy rooted in early relational experiences, attachment dynamics, fear, guilt, conditional acceptance and coping styles developed in childhood.
Gemma unpacks:
 What people pleasing actually is 
 Why it develops 
 The difference between self-sacrifice, subjugation and approval-seeking 
 Why guilt and fear often drive people pleasing behaviours 
 How early family dynamics shape self-suppression 
 Why some women struggle to set boundaries or speak up in relationships 
 The connection between people pleasing and emotionally unavailable or narcissistic partners 
 How schemas influence dating, relationships and self-trust 
 Why people pleasing is often linked to survival, safety and connection 
 Small practical steps to begin changing these patterns 
This episode also explores:
 Self-sacrifice schema 
 Subjugation schema 
 Approval-seeking schema 
 Abandonment dynamics 
 Conditional parenting 
 Coping modes and “dating personas” 
 The importance of reconnecting with your own needs, preferences and authenticity 
If you often:
 Put other people’s needs ahead of your own 
 Feel guilty saying no 
 Worry excessively about upsetting others 
 Need reassurance before making decisions 
 Stay quiet to avoid conflict 
 Feel anxious expressing yourself 
 Struggle with boundaries in dating or relationships 
…this episode will likely resonate deeply.
Mentioned in this episode
Gemma also shares details about her upcoming self-study program:
Love Wisely Foundations (coming soon!) - a schema-informed relationship program designed to help women understand and rewrite unhealthy relationship patterns and “love template.”
Support the show
🎉🎉😊EXCITING NEWS - Love Wisely Foundations is here! Enroll now for this one of a kind program and receive early access benefits!

💛 Elevate You Worth (50% off only for podcast listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
🩷 Join Love Wisely PRIORITY List  
🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide
 
Connect with Me
 📩[email protected]  🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
📷 Instagram: @drgemmacoaching
🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏
Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message
Dating apps can feel like a bit of a horror show at times.
But underneath the frustration, the confusion and the endless swiping… there’s something much deeper going on.
In this episode, I explore how your schemas - particularly abandonment, defectiveness, emotional deprivation and people-pleasing patterns - can shape:
 Who you feel drawn to 
 What you tolerate 
 And why you might ignore your own instincts 
I also walk you through a more grounded, intentional way to approach dating apps - not as “dating platforms,” but simply as introduction tools.
Because real dating doesn’t happen on the app.
 It happens in real life.
Support the show
🎉🎉😊EXCITING NEWS - Love Wisely Foundations is here! Enroll now for this one of a kind program and receive early access benefits!

💛 Elevate You Worth (50% off only for podcast listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
🩷 Join Love Wisely PRIORITY List  
🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide
 
Connect with Me
 📩[email protected]  🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
📷 Instagram: @drgemmacoaching
🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏
Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message
This episode is a special one - I’m sharing the audio from a recent live masterclass where I walk you through the deeper psychological patterns that drive attraction, and why insight alone often isn’t enough to change them.
If you’ve ever found yourself drawn to emotionally unavailable, avoidant, or self-absorbed partners - even when you know better - this episode will help you understand why.
I explore what’s happening beneath the surface, and what it actually takes to begin shifting these patterns from the inside out. 
What you’ll learn
 Why high chemistry is not always a sign of compatibility 
 The “love paradox” - wanting one thing, but being pulled toward something very different 
 How your early schemas (core emotional patterns) shape who you’re drawn to 
 What schema chemistry is and why attraction can feel so compelling - even when it’s not right for you 
 The role of people-pleasing, self-sacrifice, and loss of voice in dating 
 Why “just date more” or “choose better” doesn’t solve the problem 
 The key stages involved in breaking long-standing relationship patterns 
 How to begin rewriting your “love template” so you can move toward emotionally available partners 
This episode is for you if…
 You keep finding yourself in similar relationship dynamics 
 You’ve dated emotionally unavailable or avoidant men 
 You struggle to trust yourself in dating 
 You tend to over-give, over-accommodate, or lose yourself in relationships 
 You’re ready to understand why this keeps happening - and start doing things differently 
These patterns are not random - they are shaped by deeper, often unconscious processes. And once you understand them, you can begin to shift them.
Want to go deeper?
If this episode resonates, I also share more about my Love Wisely group coaching program inside this training.
It’s a 12-week experience designed to help you:
 Understand your patterns clearly 
 Work with your schemas 
 Build self-trust 
 And begin relating in a way that supports the kind of relationship you actually want 

Support the show
🎉🎉😊EXCITING NEWS - Love Wisely Foundations is here! Enroll now for this one of a kind program and receive early access benefits!

💛 Elevate You Worth (50% off only for podcast listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
🩷 Join Love Wisely PRIORITY List  
🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide
 
Connect with Me
 📩[email protected]  🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
📷 Instagram: @drgemmacoaching
🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏
Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message
If dating tends to bring up anxiety, self-doubt, people-pleasing, or the urge to lose yourself in someone else, this episode is for you.
In this practical episode, I’m speaking directly to women who tend to be very giving, very empathic, and very accommodating in relationships, but who often struggle to stay connected to themselves while dating.
If you have a history of subjugation, self-sacrifice, under-entitlement, loose boundaries, or worrying too much about being “too much” or “too needy,” dating can quickly become stressful and confusing. You may find yourself focusing more on whether the other person likes you than on how you actually feel.
In this episode, I walk you through 10 clear dating rules to help you feel calmer, more grounded, and more self-protective in the early stages of dating, without becoming closed off or guarded.
This is about dating in a way that helps you stay connected to your own needs, your own feelings, and your own experience.
In this episode, I cover:
Why meeting early in real life is better than building a false sense of connection through endless texting
Why first dates should be short, simple, and low pressure
The importance of putting a time boundary around early dates
Why alcohol can make it harder to stay connected to your instincts and boundaries
Why you do not need to extend a date unless you genuinely want to
Why it is healthy to directly say you’d like to see someone again if that is true for you
Why it matters to keep your life running normally when you meet someone new
Why rushing physical intimacy can create attachment before real compatibility is clear
How to think about chemistry more wisely, especially if you have a pattern of schema chemistry
Why the most important question after a date is not “Did they like me?” but “How did I feel?”
Key themes in this episode:
This episode explores how schemas such as subjugation, self-sacrifice, abandonment, emotional deprivation, and under-entitlement can quietly shape the dating process.
It also highlights a more grounded and emotionally healthy approach to dating:
Dating is data.
Rather than treating every date like a test of your worth, this episode encourages you to slow down, gather information, notice how you feel, and assess whether the other person is truly right for you.

If this episode resonated:
If you’ve been enjoying the podcast, I’d be so grateful if you left a quick review on Apple Podcasts. It really does help more women find the show.
And if this episode made you think of someone in your life, feel free to share it wit
Support the show
🎉🎉😊EXCITING NEWS - Love Wisely Foundations is here! Enroll now for this one of a kind program and receive early access benefits!

💛 Elevate You Worth (50% off only for podcast listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
🩷 Join Love Wisely PRIORITY List  
🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide
 
Connect with Me
 📩[email protected]  🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
📷 Instagram: @drgemmacoaching
🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏
Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here

Send Gemma a message
In this episode of Healing for Love, I respond to a thoughtful question from a listener who describes a relationship that is supportive and stable - yet something important is missing.
Her partner is kind, affectionate, and easy to live with. But when it comes to emotional conversations, he rarely initiates them. Over time, she has begun to feel emotionally alone in the relationship.
This is a surprisingly common dynamic.
Many people find themselves in relationships where their partner cares deeply but struggles with emotional expression or emotional dialogue. The question then becomes: is this simply a difference in style, or does it signal something deeper about compatibility and emotional needs?
In this episode, I explore how to think about this situation from both perspectives.
We discuss:
Why emotional intimacy matters in long term relationships
The difference between low emotional dialogue and true emotional neglect
How early experiences can shape someone’s emotional style
The role schemas can play in how we interpret our needs in relationships
Why feeling like a “burden” when expressing needs is often an important clue
How to distinguish between lack of skill and lack of motivation in a partner
Questions you can ask yourself to clarify what you truly need in a relationship
How to communicate emotional needs in a constructive and specific way
Sometimes the most important shift is moving away from the question:
“How do I change my partner?”
And instead asking:
“What kind of emotional life do I want to live in my relationship?”
If you’ve ever found yourself wondering whether your emotional needs are “too much,” this episode will give you a thoughtful framework for understanding what’s really going on.
Support the show
🎉🎉😊EXCITING NEWS - Love Wisely Foundations is here! Enroll now for this one of a kind program and receive early access benefits!

💛 Elevate You Worth (50% off only for podcast listeners) - Use coupon WORTHY
🩷 Join Love Wisely PRIORITY List  
🎁 Dating With Insight - FREE Guide
 
Connect with Me
 📩[email protected]  🌐 Website: drgemmagladstone.com
📷 Instagram: @drgemmacoaching
🌻 Support the Podcast 🙏
Love the show? Help us keep going with a monthly contribution: Support here