The Mindfulness & Grief Podcast

Sometimes in grief, you feel like you're doing better.
You're getting through the day. You're sleeping more. Maybe you've started to reconnect with parts of your life again.
And then, out of nowhere, a wave hits.
It can feel like you're right back where you started.
In this episode of the Mindfulness & Grief Podcast, Heather Stang and Amanda Palermo explore Step 5 of the Mindfulness & Grief System: Getting Unstuck.
This step speaks to that common experience of feeling stuck in grief, and gently reframes it. Because most of the time, you're not actually stuck. You're moving through a process that is not linear, predictable, or easy.
Heather and Amanda talk about the "boomerang" nature of grief, why waves come back even when you thought you were doing better, and how the belief that you should be progressing can add another layer of suffering.
They also share practical ways to shift your perspective, including working with the five mental hindrances, expressive arts, and journaling practices that help create movement when things feel heavy or stuck.
You will learn:
• Why grief can feel like it's going backward • What "being stuck" in grief really means • How to shift your perspective when nothing seems to change • The five mental hindrances and how they show up in grief • How expressive arts can help release what feels stuck • A powerful journaling practice using different points of view • Why "appreciation" may feel more supportive than gratitude in grief
This episode is not about fixing your grief or forcing progress.
It is about understanding your experience in a new way, and creating space for movement, even when things feel stuck.
If you've ever thought, "I was doing so well, why does this feel so hard again?" this conversation is for you.
🧘 Timestamps:
00:00 Feeling "stuck" in grief 01:30 The boomerang metaphor 03:15 "But I was doing so well" 05:00 Why grief isn't linear 07:30 The myth of progress in grief 10:00 Acceptance vs fighting the process 13:00 Tasks of mourning vs stages of grief 16:00 What it really means to get unstuck 18:30 The five mental hindrances 22:00 Longing, resistance, and anxiety 26:00 Exhaustion and doubt in grief 30:00 The yoga philosophy perspective 33:00 Grief as energy that needs to move 36:30 Seasons of grief 40:00 Expressive arts and grief landscapes 45:00 Amanda's canvas practice 52:00 Releasing what feels stuck 56:00 Journaling from different perspectives 1:02:00 Writing from a compassionate voice 1:06:00 Appreciation vs gratitude 1:10:00 Closing reflections
Resources and links:
🌿 Full show notes: https://heatherstang.com/podcast/
💜 Join Awaken Grief Support (Free 14-day trial): https://heatherstang.com/grief-group/
🎓 Mindfulness & Grief Coach Certification: https://heatherstang.com/mindfulness-grief-coach-certification/
🎥 Free Living With Grief Workshop: https://heatherstang.com/living-with-grief-workshop/

When grief brings up difficult emotions, it can be hard to know what to do next. Do you lean in? Do you step back? Do you let yourself cry, or do you take a break from the intensity?
In this episode of the Mindfulness & Grief Podcast, Heather Stang and Amanda Palermo explore how to tend to difficult emotions with more wisdom, discernment, and care.
This is Step 4 of the Mindfulness & Grief System: Skillful Courage.
Skillful courage in grief is not about force or fearlessness. It is about learning how to listen to yourself, knowing when to approach what hurts, and knowing when to rest. Heather and Amanda talk about the pressure to "be strong," the fear of being overwhelmed by grief, and why vulnerability is not weakness. They also explore how grief can show up in many forms, from crying and anger to numbness, confusion, and withdrawal.
You will learn:
• What skillful courage means in grief • Why difficult emotions are not the enemy • How to discern when to lean in and when to step back • The difference between intuitive and instrumental grieving styles • Why being called "strong" can sometimes feel like pressure • How the RAIN practice can help during a grief wave • A mindful movement practice for vulnerability and strength • A journaling prompt to help you reconnect with your inner courage
This episode is not about pushing through grief. It is about learning how to be with what hurts in a way that is honest, grounded, and kind.
If grief has been feeling overwhelming, or if you are unsure how to respond when difficult emotions arise, this is a gentle place to begin.
🧘 Timestamps:
00:00 Step 4: Skillful Courage 01:35 What this step is really about 03:20 Learning when to lean in and when to step back 05:10 Trusting your own experience in grief 08:00 Making space to cry, or not 10:25 The fear of being overwhelmed 13:10 Grief is more than tears 16:05 The many emotions inside grief 19:45 Feelings as messengers, not enemies 22:20 Intuitive and instrumental grieving 28:10 Moving the energy of grief 31:40 The pressure to be strong 36:25 Vulnerability and courage 40:05 Discernment and inner wisdom 45:15 The RAIN practice 52:40 Using RAIN in everyday life 57:30 Dancing with strength and vulnerability 1:03:15 A journaling prompt for courage 1:07:20 Strength, resilience, and rest
Full show notes and resources: https://heatherstang.com/podcast/
Connect with Amanda on Instagram: https://instagram.com/amandapalermo1018
Work with Heather
💜 Try Awaken Grief Support Free for 14 Days Live support, guided practices, and community for people living with grief. https://heatherstang.com/grief-group/
🎥 Free Living With Grief Workshop and Live Q&A With Heather A gentle introduction to mindfulness-based grief support with time for questions. https://heatherstang.com/living-with-grief-workshop/
🎓 Mindfulness & Grief Coach Certification Professional training for helpers who want to support others through grief while caring for themselves. https://heatherstang.com/mindfulness-grief-coach-certification/

When grief softens the initial shock, other feelings often rise to the surface. In this episode of the Mindfulness & Grief Podcast, Heather Stang and Amanda Palermo explore how compassion can support you when grief brings guilt, self-criticism, resentment, and the pain of being human.
Grief does not only break the heart open. It can also make us hard on ourselves. You may judge your emotions, question your reactions, or feel guilty for what you did, did not do, or even for what you feel now. Heather and Amanda talk honestly about how common that is, especially when grief affects family dynamics and old wounds begin to surface.
This is Step 3 of the Mindfulness & Grief System: Compassion for All.
Compassion in grief is not about fixing pain, pretending everything is okay, or forcing yourself to be positive. It is about recognizing suffering and responding with care. That includes care for yourself, care for difficult people, and care for the grieving heart that may feel raw, overwhelmed, or alone.
Heather and Amanda explore the difference between empathy, sympathy, pity, and compassion. They talk about the role of self-compassion in grief, the healing power of common humanity, and how simple practices like a hand on the heart, a compassionate mantra, or metta meditation can help soften shame and self-judgment.
You will learn:
• Why grief can trigger guilt, resentment, and self-criticism • The difference between empathy, sympathy, pity, and compassion • How self-compassion includes an active response of care • What Kristin Neff's three elements of compassion look like in grief • Why common humanity can ease isolation • How to create a self-compassion mantra that feels true • What metta meditation is and how it supports compassion for self and others • Why compassion is not the same as excusing harmful behavior
This episode is not about getting over grief. It is not about rescuing yourself from pain. It is about learning how to meet your grief, and yourself, with kindness.
If you have been feeling hard on yourself after loss, this is a gentle place to begin.
🧘 Timestamps:
00:00 There Is One Thing That Is Not Impermanent 00:49 Step 3: Compassion for All 02:54 Guilt, Old Wounds, and Unexpected Feelings 05:02 Family Tension and Resentment in Grief 06:36 Empathy, Sympathy, Pity, and Compassion 08:51 "I'm Human, and I'm Doing My Best" 11:24 Self-Care as Compassion in Action 12:06 "I Should Be Over This By Now" 15:04 What Do You Need in This Moment? 17:14 Kristin Neff's Three Elements of Compassion 18:25 Common Humanity and Not Feeling Alone 20:07 Self-Kindness in the Midst of Grief 23:25 Why Grief Groups Can Be So Healing 25:06 Creating Your Own Self-Compassion Mantra 26:15 "This Feeling Isn't Permanent" 27:36 What Compassion Is Not 30:42 Taking Care of Her Daughter 34:31 Compassion for Difficult People 36:01 Metta Meditation Explained 41:23 Adapting the Practice So It Does Not Cause More Suffering 44:55 "I'm Having a Hard Time" 45:35 "I'm Feeling Grief" 47:34 A Preview of Step 4: Vulnerability and Courage
Full show notes and resources: https://heatherstang.com/podcast/
Connect with Amanda on Instagram: https://instagram.com/amandapalermo1018
Work with Heather
💜 Try Awaken Grief Support Free for 14 Days Live support, guided practices, and community for people living with grief. https://heatherstang.com/grief-group/
🎥 Free Living With Grief Workshop and Live Q&A With Heather A gentle introduction to mindfulness-based grief support with time for questions. https://heatherstang.com/living-with-grief-workshop/
🎓 Mindfulness & Grief Coach Certification Professional training for helpers who want to support others through grief while caring for themselves. https://heatherstang.com/mindfulness-grief-coach-certification/

When someone you love dies, your mind doesn't go quiet. It gets loud. In this episode of the Mindfulness & Grief Podcast, Heather Stang and Amanda Palermo explore how mindfulness can support you when grief pulls you into rumination, anxiety, and mental loops.
Grief doesn't just affect your heart. It affects your mind. You replay conversations. You imagine worst case scenarios. You jump into the future. You go back into the past. Heather calls this time traveling. And while remembering is natural, rumination often adds another layer of suffering.
This is Step 2 of the Mindfulness & Grief System: Mindful Awareness.
Mindfulness in grief is not about clearing your mind. It is not about pretending you are okay. It is not about spiritually bypassing pain. It is about noticing what is happening right now with honesty and compassion.
Heather and Amanda talk about the difference between pain and suffering, and how the stories we add on top of pain can keep the nervous system activated. They share personal experiences of rumination after loss, grief anniversaries, and what it means to come back to the body when your thoughts feel overwhelming.
You will learn:
• The difference between remembering and ruminating • Why grief and anxiety often go together • What "time traveling" does to the grieving brain • How mindfulness and compassion work together • A simple breath, body, sound practice • How body scans interrupt rumination • What to do when emotions feel too big to unhook from
This episode is not about stopping memories. It is not about forcing yourself to move on. It is about learning how to be present with your grief without adding extra suffering.
If your mind feels stuck in loops after loss, this is a gentle place to begin.
🧘 Timestamps:
00:00 Pain and Add-Ons 01:15 What Mindfulness Is and Is Not 05:20 Remembering vs Ruminating 09:10 Time Traveling and the Grieving Brain 14:00 Mindfulness and Compassion 18:40 The Flashlight and Lantern Metaphor 24:30 Pain vs Suffering 30:15 Rumination Loops After Loss 35:20 Breath, Body, Sound Practice 41:10 Body Scan and Feeling Tones 49:30 Mindful Crying 55:40 Grief Anniversaries and Both and 1:00:10 Returning to Wisdom
Full show notes and resources: https://heatherstang.com/podcast/
Connect with Amanda on Instagram: https://instagram.com/amandapalermo1018
Work with Heather
💜 Try Awaken Grief Support Free for 14 Days Live support, guided practices, and community for people living with grief. https://heatherstang.com/grief-group/
🎥 Free Living With Grief Workshop and Live Q&A With Heather A gentle introduction to mindfulness-based grief support with time for questions. https://heatherstang.com/living-with-grief-workshop/
🎓 Mindfulness & Grief Coach Certification Professional training for helpers who want to support others through grief while caring for themselves. https://heatherstang.com/mindfulness-grief-coach-certification/

The First Step to Calm Your Nervous System After Loss
Grief doesn't just affect your heart. It affects your body. In this episode of the Mindfulness & Grief Podcast, Heather Stang and Amanda Palermo explore why grief overwhelms the nervous system and why you can't think your way out of it. When loss shakes your world, symptoms like brain fog, insomnia, body aches, anxiety, and exhaustion are not signs that you are failing. They are signs that your body is under stress.
This episode introduces the first step in the Mindfulness & Grief System: Conscious Relaxation. You'll learn why calming the body comes before processing meaning, how simple focusing practices interrupt the stress cycle, and why tending to your nervous system is foundational in early grief and during grief waves.
Heather and Amanda share personal experiences of shock, numbness, cognitive confusion, and somatic symptoms after loss. They discuss research on the relaxation response, practical focusing techniques such as breath counting and mantra repetition, and how small, consistent practices can restore a sense of agency.
You'll also learn:
• Why grief creates inflammation and physical symptoms • How to interrupt rumination through simple attention practices • What to do when sitting meditation feels impossible • How to create a sleep sanctuary after loss • Gentle journaling prompts to help your body find a voice
If grief has left you feeling dysregulated, restless, or exhausted, this episode offers a grounded place to begin. You don't have to eliminate your feelings. You can start by tending to your body.
🧘 Timestamps:
00:00 You Can't Think Your Way Out of Grief 00:42 Welcome & Why the Body Comes First 02:10 Shock, Numbness & Brain Fog After Loss 05:30 When the Numbness Wears Off: Anxiety & Grief Waves 08:45 Why Grief Overwhelms the Nervous System 11:10 The First Step: Conscious Relaxation 13:40 Focusing Practices (Breath Counting & Mantra) 18:50 The Relaxation Response Explained 23:30 Movement as Meditation 27:40 Sensory Practices: Sound, Touch, Scent 30:20 Creating a Sleep Sanctuary After Loss 37:15 Reimagining the Bedroom After Losing a Partner 44:10 Journaling as a Body Practice 50:30 Giving Your Body a Voice (Writing Prompt) 55:40 The Puzzle Metaphor: Putting Pieces Back Together 58:10 This Is Your Home Base in Grief 1:01:30 Closing Reflections
Full show notes and resources: https://heatherstang.com/podcast/
Connect with Amanda on Instagram: https://instagram.com/amandapalermo1018
Work with Heather
💜 Try Awaken Grief Support Free for 14 Days Live support, guided practices, and community for people living with grief. https://heatherstang.com/grief-group/
🎥 Free Living With Grief Workshop and Live Q&A With Heather A gentle introduction to mindfulness-based grief support with time for questions. https://heatherstang.com/living-with-grief-workshop/
🎓 Mindfulness & Grief Coach Certification Professional training for helpers who want to support others through grief while caring for themselves. https://heatherstang.com/mindfulness-grief-coach-certification/