If you’ve ever found yourself thinking “My life will only improve when my ex changes,” this episode is for you.In this conversation, Danielle unpacks one of the most common - and painful - thought errors that keeps protective parents trapped in reactivity: believing peace will come only when the other parent behaves differently. You’ll learn why waiting for change keeps you powerless, what true emotional and what emotional and nervous system capacity really means.This episode covers:Why your wellbeing can’t depend on your co-parent’s behaviourThe difference between performance calm and genuine regulationHow to stop fighting reality and start creating stability for your childrenA real-life story of transformation that proves peace is possible without external changeIf you’re navigating a high-conflict separation or parenting alongside a difficult ex, this episode will help you understand what actually changes your life - and what doesn’t.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
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73. Understanding the "Ted Bundy Effect" and making strategic decisions
If you've just received a family report that's gotten it completely wrong, this episode is for you. Today we're talking about the "Ted Bundy Effect" in family court - why professionals consistently miss coercive control even when the evidence is right in front of them - and some of the things that need to be considered when you're contemplating whether to settle or proceed to final trial.In this episode:- The "Ted Bundy Effect": why smart professionals get fooled by surface presentation- Research on lie detection and professional bias- Australia's competence crisis in family report writing- What actually happens at final trial (the reality, not the TV version)- The things to consider when weighing up your choices after you receive the family report- Why capacity can matter just as much as evidence when facing trial- The importance of making decisions from clarity rather than fearResources mentioned:- FREE GUIDE: "The Ted Bundy Effect in Family Court: Why Professionals Miss Coercive Control (And What You Can Do About It)" - Download here: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/free-resource-signup- The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint - Complete framework for navigating family court with capacity and strategy - Learn more at: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-post-separation-parenting-blueprint-1- "Capacity for Final Trial" PDF - Available in the Blueprint or for purchase separately in the shop: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-shopAbout Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
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72. Capacity for final trial: staying calm & credible in family court
The word “trial” shouldn’t mean losing yourself. When the stakes feel sky-high, your greatest asset is your capacity - your ability to stay calm, credible and relentlessly child-focused during your Family Court trial.In this episode, we explore trauma-informed strategies for regulating under pressure so you can show up steady and strategic when it matters most. We discuss simple daily habits that build real courtroom composure - from breathwork and gentle movement to visualisation that rehearses a steady tone under cross-examination.We share a practical morning ritual to ground your body and mind, plus real-world tips on what to wear, eat, and how to arrive early enough to avoid the anxiety rush. Inside the courtroom, you’ll learn how to pause before you answer, slow your pace, and respond only to the question asked, using calm inner cues like:"I respond, not react""My calm is my power"We also unpack how professionals may assess your capacity during a trial - not "perfection", but rather your ability to think clearly, regulate emotions, and stay child-focused under pressure. Finally, we map a post-court decompression plan so your body can recover instead of replaying every word.If you’re a protective parent preparing for a final trial in the Family Court of Australia, this is your field guide to calm, credibility and capacity.For deeper support, including checklists, daily practices and grounding preparation scripts, explore “Capacity for Final Trial” inside Module 20 of the Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™, or as a standalone download at danielleblackcoaching.com.auAbout Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
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71. When the family report gets it wrong
A bad family report can feel like a punch to the gut - especially when coercive control gets reframed as “conflict” and your protective choices are miscast as gatekeeping.In this episode of The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast, I unpack what to do if your family report or child impact report isn’t in your favour. You’ll learn why these reports go wrong, how to respond with calm and clarity, and how to build a plan that keeps your child’s safety at the centre.We start by resetting expectations: a family report is evidence, not a verdict. I explain the competence gap among report writers in Australia, the lack of national training, and how outdated assumptions from the old “equal shared parental responsibility” era still distort assessments.Then we get practical. You’ll learn how to:Regulate before reactingSeparate observations from conclusionsCreate an error and omission list that highlights misquotes, missing risk analysis, and reframes that minimise harmWe’ll map the controllables - your clarity, composure, documentation, and focus on child impact - so the court can see the pattern, even when the system stumbles.If you need structured help, grab the Preparing for Your Family Report Assessment digital guide in the shop or access the Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ for strategy, frameworks, and nervous system support.If this episode helped, please follow and share it with another protective parent - and leave a review to help more parents find this resource.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
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70. Preparing for your family report
Today we’re walking you through a calmer, clearer way to prepare for meeting with a report writer - one grounded in practical tools and a steady presence that keeps your kids front and centre. Rather than chasing perfect responses, we focus on what report writers actually look for. We talk about common traps like over-explaining, minimising hard truths, or subtly pressuring kids, and you’ll hear why “just be honest” is incomplete advice and how calm delivery determines credibility. We also share grounding techniques you can rehearse in daily life so they’re there for you under stress: paced breathing, orienting, concise pauses, and short sensory resets. These practices help you stay regulated, think clearly, and communicate with a tone that signals you are safe, steady, and child‑focused.If you’re bracing for a report writer meeting, take a breath. You don’t need to be perfect - you need to be present. For more structure, we’ve created a digital guide with example language, and day‑of expectations, plus coaching support is available for tailored preparation. Follow, and please share this with a parent who needs calm over chaos.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast - hosted by Danielle Black, Australia's leading specialist in child-focused post-separation parenting.This isn't your typical separation, divorce or co-parenting podcast. We tackle the hard truths about what happens when separation involves family violence, high-conflict dynamics, and ongoing abuse - and most importantly, how to protect your children when the flawed Australian 'system' lets you down.Each episode challenges the dangerous myths that keep women and children in harmful situations. From exposing why Australia's love affair with 50/50 parenting arrangements is hurting Australian kids, to revealing how post-separation abuse operates through parenting arrangements - this is where protective parents get the evidence-based guidance they desperately need.Putting children first after separation - even when that means challenging professionals, fighting inappropriate arrangements, and refusing to accept "compromise" solutions that damage your children's development and wellbeing.Raw, unfiltered, and research-backed. Because your children's wellbeing matters more than adult concepts of "fairness." Transform from confused to confident in your post-separation parenting decisions. Join The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint waitlist for exclusive early access, early bird pricing, and instant free mini-guide and private podcast episode. Join the waitlist todayReady to make child-focused decisions with confidence? Visit danielleblackcoaching.com.au to learn more about how we can help.
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