79. Understanding coercive control (Part 1): Why most professionals miss it
Why do family lawyers, mediators, report writers and even judges keep missing what might be painfully obvious to you - that this isn’t “high conflict,” it’s coercive control? And why does that mislabel put your children in danger?In this episode, Danielle Black breaks down the core reason the family law system consistently fails to recognise coercive control: it’s using the wrong framework.While professionals are trained to look for incidents, coercive control is a pattern - and one that directly harms children long after separation.Drawing on lived experience, current research (including Professor Evan Stark and Dr Julie Blake), and two decades of lived experience along with supporting hundreds of protective parents, Danielle explains:Why coercive control is repeatedly misidentified as “communication issues”How patterns become invisible when professionals look only for incidentsWhy coercive control is a parenting issue, not just an “adult relationship issue”The seven child-directed patterns parents must learn to identify (Black 2025)How mislabelling coercive control leads to unsafe recommendations and harmful ordersWhy protective parents must become the experts in their own caseWhat the system needs to understand - and how to make it impossible for them to ignoreThis episode gives you the clarity, language, and strategic lens that most legal professionals simply don’t have.If you’ve ever been dismissed, minimised or misunderstood, this episode will validate your experience - and help you start advocating in a way the system can hear.Part 2 continues later in the week will continue with the 7 patterns of coercive control directed at children - with examples, red flags, and documentation guidance.If you’re feeling overwhelmed right now - good. It means your instincts are working.But instinct isn’t enough if you're navigating the court system with a controlling co-parent. You need structure, strategy, and language.That’s what the Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint gives you.And starting Friday 28 November 2025, you can get:$300 off4 months of AI Danielle to support you 24/7Take advantage of this special offer.Your future self will thank you.More information about the blueprint: https://www.danielleblackcoaching.com.au/the-post-separation-parenting-blueprint-1About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
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78: Lead, don’t follow: Evidence over ideology in post-separation parenting
Most protective parents assume their lawyer or mediator understands what their children truly need after separation - developmentally, emotionally, and in terms of safety.But the uncomfortable truth is this: lawyers know the law, not child development.They are not trained in coercive control, developmental trauma, or the research that actually predicts how children thrive after separation.In this episode, Danielle explains why you must lead your legal team, not follow them - and why relying on “what your lawyer thinks is reasonable” can lead to unsafe, developmentally inappropriate outcomes for your children.You’ll learn why evidence, not ideology, must guide your parenting proposals, and how protective parents can become the experts in their own children’s needs - rather than outsourcing those decisions to professionals who don’t have the training to make them.Danielle also shares a preview of next week’s deep dive into coercive control, and gives listeners an early heads-up: do not buy the Blueprint this week - a Black Friday discount and special bonus will be announced next week!In this episode:Lawyers and mediators are not trained in child developmentHow adult “fairness” ideology distorts parenting outcomesThe evidence every protective parent needs to knowWhy you must instruct your lawyer - not the other way aroundHow the Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint™ fills the evidence gapDisclaimer:This podcast contains general information only. It is not legal advice, counselling, or a substitute for individual coaching.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
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77. When loving the other parent feels like betrayal - How to support your child without making them choose
It’s one of the hardest parts of post-separation life: your child still loves, misses, or defends the parent who hurt you.In this deeply compassionate episode, Danielle Black explores the grief, anger, and fear beneath that experience - and explains why children often align with the parent who holds the power, not the peace.You’ll learn how unresolved trauma and nervous-system dysregulation affect emotional safety, how to avoid the “mirror trap,” and how to become the lighthouse your child can always find. Through lived experience and trauma-informed insight, Danielle shows that helping children stay emotionally whole means letting them love both parents - without feeling forced to choose.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
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76. Changes in UK family law: What Australia must learn (and face)
Recent reforms in the United Kingdom have shaken the family-law landscape - finally recognising that domestic abuse is not just an adult issue, but a child-safety issue. In this episode, Danielle Black breaks down what’s changing in the UK, what Australia has already reformed on paper, and why our culture and professional ideology are still lagging behind.You’ll hear how both countries are redefining “best interests of the child” to centre safety over shared care, and why this shift is long overdue. Danielle unpacks the uncomfortable truth: perpetrators of family violence are not good parents, and children have a right to be protected - even when that means limited or no contact.Drawing on her work with protective parents and the 2024 Australian Family Law Act reforms, Danielle explores how society’s obsession with “children need both parents” continues to undermine genuine child-focused practice, and what needs to change if we’re serious about protecting children from harm.In this episode:What the new UK reforms really mean for family courtsThe parallels with Australia’s 2024 Family Law Act changesWhy ideology still outweighs evidence in many legal processesThe truth about family violence as a parenting, not relationship, problemDisclaimer:This podcast provides general information only. It is not legal advice, counselling, or a substitute for individual coaching. Always seek professional guidance specific to your situation.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
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75. Radical acceptance & capacity: What actually changes your life
When your co-parent’s behaviour never seems to change, it’s easy to believe that peace will only come once they start doing things differently.But waiting for that moment keeps you stuck - exhausted, reactive, and powerless.In this episode, Danielle unpacks what actually changes your life when the chaos doesn’t stop: radical acceptance and building inner capacity.You’ll learn how to stop burning energy trying to hold your ex to account, what “dropping the rope” really means, and how to reclaim calm for yourself and your children - even when the other parent refuses to evolve.Danielle also shares an important, trauma-informed clarification: coaching isn’t counselling.If trauma responses are still dominating daily life, professional therapy - especially trauma-specific approaches like EMDR - is the essential first step.Coaching then becomes the rocket fuel - the action-based framework that helps you strategise and rebuild, once your nervous system is ready.In this episode:Why radical acceptance isn’t “giving up” - it’s reclaiming powerHow capacity is built through daily nervous-system practicesWhen coaching helps … and when counselling must come firstWhy documentation still matters - without emotional re-engagementWhat “dropping the rope” looks and feels like in real lifeHow protecting your peace protects your childrenIf you’ve ever wondered how to stop being triggered by your co-parent’s behaviour and start leading from clarity instead of chaos, this episode will help you find that steady ground.Disclaimer:This podcast provides general information only.It is not legal advice, counselling, or a substitute for individual coaching.Always seek professional guidance specific to your situation.About Danielle Black: Danielle Black is a respected authority in child-focused post-separation parenting in Australia. With over twenty years’ experience in education, counselling and coaching - and her own lived experience navigating a complex separation - she helps parents advocate strategically and protect their children’s safety and wellbeing. Learn more at danielleblackcoaching.com.au. This podcast is for educational purposes only and not legal advice. Please seek independent legal, medical, financial, or mental health advice for your situation.
The Post-Separation Abuse Podcast - hosted by Danielle Black, Australia's leading specialist in child-focused post-separation parenting.This isn't your typical separation, divorce or co-parenting podcast. We tackle the hard truths about what happens when separation involves family violence, high-conflict dynamics, and ongoing abuse - and most importantly, how to protect your children when the flawed Australian 'system' lets you down.Each episode challenges the dangerous myths that keep women and children in harmful situations. From exposing why Australia's love affair with 50/50 parenting arrangements is hurting Australian kids, to revealing how post-separation abuse operates through parenting arrangements - this is where protective parents get the evidence-based guidance they desperately need.Putting children first after separation - even when that means challenging professionals, fighting inappropriate arrangements, and refusing to accept "compromise" solutions that damage your children's development and wellbeing.Raw, unfiltered, and research-backed. Because your children's wellbeing matters more than adult concepts of "fairness." Transform from confused to confident in your post-separation parenting decisions. Join The Post-Separation Parenting Blueprint waitlist for exclusive early access, early bird pricing, and instant free mini-guide and private podcast episode. Join the waitlist todayReady to make child-focused decisions with confidence? Visit danielleblackcoaching.com.au to learn more about how we can help.
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