Autism Dadcast

This week Gaz and Andy sit down with Jolanta Lasota, Chief Executive of Ambitious about Autism, at their college in Isleworth. 16 years leading the charity and mum to a 21-year-old autistic son, Jolanta has seen the whole picture, from the early years right through to adulthood and employment.

We talk about why purpose matters more than exams, the young man who is non-speaking and holds down two jobs, the boy who was allowed to come to school in his pyjamas, and naming the grief nobody warns you about. Jolanta describes raising an autistic child as walking through woods with no path and no torch, and says the job is to be the one who carries the light. Honest, hopeful, and one of our favourite conversations yet.

Timestamps
- 00:00 Welcome, and where we are today
- 00:27 [GUEST]'s journey, 16 years at Ambitious about Autism
- 01:07 What's really changed in how we understand autism
- 05:57 The sensory pod that blew us away
- 06:58 The schools, the age groups, and post-19 provision
- 10:36 Why "purpose" matters more than a curriculum
- 12:20 "Walking through woods with no torch": what family life feels like
- 13:27 The non-speaking young man with two jobs
- 15:03 Are employers actually changing?
- 15:49 Policy, the white paper, and autism as a political football
- 20:06 Being the "happy helper", never enemy-ising people
- 22:14 What school looks like at four to seven
- 24:40 Focus on strengths, don't drill them on what they can't do
- 27:09 Gaz's own school story: six D's and learning differently
- 33:03 The weight of GCSEs and "lost leaders"
- 38:02 Don't underestimate them: the iPad "daddy" moment
- 40:28 Parents' guilt, and why it won't always be okay
- 43:47 Grief without a death
- 45:06 What's next for Ambitious about Autism
- 49:13 Thanks and close

Paul Mullin has scored goals in front of millions and become a household name through Welcome to Wrexham. But this one is about the part of his life the cameras rarely catch: being dad to Albi, his autistic son.
Gaz and Andy sit down with Paul for an honest, Albi-centric conversation about the regression that stopped his little boy in his tracks, the guilt that kept him up at night, and why he wouldn't change a single thing about his son. Plus the moment Albi found a way to tell him 'you're my best friend' without saying a word.
If you have ever felt like the only dad going through this, this one is for you.
Timestamps
00:00 Welcome Paul Mullin
01:00 The first signs, and Albi after his 12-month jabs
02:00 Regression: like a click of the fingers
04:00 The guilt, and crying himself to sleep
04:30 I wouldn't pay a penny to change him
05:35 Denial, and getting the diagnosis
07:20 Speaking about it on Welcome to Wrexham
08:24 The hope that kills you
11:38 Why 'he'll be fine' doesn't help
13:00 Did he grieve? The problem-solver dad
16:14 Being a footballer dad: time away and routine
19:12 How Albi communicates now
22:15 Holidays: frozen meals, dry ice and the airport
25:40 Coming home: holidays, holidays, holidays
27:50 Razor-sharp awareness: he just knows
29:20 The crafty negotiator: jet skis and boats
33:40 The best friend clip
35:07 Macho on the pitch, in tears at home
35:48 Autism in Racing and giving back
38:26 Nobody ever asks the dad how he is
43:00 Advice to a dad just starting the journey
New episodes of the Autism Dadcast every week.
Real talk, real dads, real autism.
Listen, follow and find everything in our link tree in bio.

One missed board and one wrong word at in the morning, and Thomas's whole morning falls apart.
This week Gaz and Andy unpack how much detail autistic kids track, why a single word can rewrite their day, and how much they understand even mid-meltdown.
Plus Lydia becomes swimmer of the week, the new-neighbour conversation every autism parent knows, and an honest, conflicted take on the under-16 social media ban and what it overlooks for autistic teens.Timestamps00:00 Charlie's shop opening and meeting Sophie the BTS superfan02:00 Lydia's swimming breakthrough: swimmer of the week03:40 Thomas's Monday meltdown: how one wrong word derailed the morning06:10 He knew the score: what the meltdown hid09:15 The new neighbour, the fence, and explaining autism again11:05 Attention to detail: the thing they do best14:35 The under-16 social media ban: where we land26:15 What the ban gets wrong about autistic kidsLatest episode and Discord in the link tree in our bio. Merch from Neurospicy & Co at neurospicyandco.uk, 10% off with code DADCAST.

Every parent of an autistic child has been told the same thing: just take the nappy off and sit them on the toilet. This week Gaz and Andy sit down with Charmaine, a learning disability nurse turned continence consultant with over 30 years of experience, and find out why that advice not only fails, it can make things worse.What starts as a chat about toilet training turns into something much bigger: gut health, the gut-brain connection, sleep, meltdowns, and the quiet toll this takes on a whole family. Charmaine explains why you have to start inside the body and not on the toilet, why it is learning and not training, and why no parent struggling with this has ever been failing.If you have ever felt judged, stuck, or completely on your own with this, this one is for you.Chapters00:00 Meet Charmaine, continence consultant02:45 Why toilet training is so hard for autistic kids03:34 Gut health and the gut biome05:43 The gut as a second brain10:07 Where to actually start (inside the body)11:59 The Bristol stool chart21:54 Nobody makes mistakes: parent blame and misinformation25:51 Learning, not training30:05 Why rewards do not work38:20 What the NHS offers, and the postcode lottery49:53 Why it works at home but not at school53:47 It was never lazy parenting57:42 Sleep, the brain and meltdowns1:08:50 Charmaine's support group and free resources1:13:18 The real cost: holidays, work and isolationFind CharmaineClear Steps Consultancy: https://www.clearstepsconsultancy.co.ukSupport group: How to Get the Wee and Poo in the Loo (videos, live sessions and free downloads)Socials: search "continence consultant and trainer" on Facebook, Instagram and LinkedInNew episodes of the Autism Dadcast every week. Real talk, real dads, real autism. Listen, follow and find everything in our link tree in bio.

You can know your child inside out and still be blindsided in the space of a week.
This one starts with Thomas opening the front door and wandering off down a hill in a quiet Shropshire village - the same week Lydia did almost exactly the same thing. From there it runs into the half-term chaos that brought biting back out of nowhere, the dread of summer toilet training and puberty creeping into view, and a proper kicking of the Department for Education for handing SEND to Gemma Collins after the white paper left families feeling gaslit.
Underneath the rage and the dark humour, it lands somewhere quieter. Gaz and Andy talk about the pre-autism photos, the grief that takes turns between two parents, and the two-second forehead touch that says everything a spoken "I love you" never will.
You'll come away realising two things can be true at once. You can grieve the life you pictured and still get up and be the dad your kid actually needs.