The Don't Buy Her Flowers Podcast

In this candid and very funny conversation, Steph is joined by couples coach and Be a Happier Parent founder Alex Trippier to ask why so many loving couples end up having the same arguments once children arrive. Alex is honest about his own marriage. He thought being good with kids made him a good dad, and he couldn’t understand why it was never enough. Steph and Alex unpick what was really going on for both of them, and why neither side is the villain.

They talk about the invisible work of anticipating children’s needs, why dads can be so dismissive of discomfort, and what Alex calls the Mr Miyagi fallacy. They look at how intensive mothering and social media have raised the bar for mums, and why the “nag paradox” leaves women managing everything and then criticised for it. Then there’s the messy room study, which shows why feeling judged isn’t all in your head, and the role shame and defensiveness play when one partner says “this isn’t working.” Alex also shares why a better life sits on the other side of change for men, and offers a theory on why men start random DIY jobs at the worst possible moment.
Whether you’re resentful, exhausted, a dad who wants to do better, or just curious why the same row keeps happening, this one will leave you feeling understood and hopeful.

Alex Trippier is a writer, speaker, podcast host, husband and father. He is an emerging voice on parenting and the father. He is an emerging voice on parenting and the role of men in family life, with a regular column in The I newspaper. He is a popular couples coach with a thriving online Skool community.

Links
Follow Alex on Instagram @beahappierparent
Join Alex’s Be a Happier Parent community
Spotify
Apple Podcasts

As mentioned in this episode
Matrescence by Lucy Jones
Parenting for Humans by Dr Emma Svanberg

Previous episodes you might like
Laura Danger – That Darn Chat on saving your relationship
How To Make It Fair with Eve Rodsky
This is How Your Marriage Ends with Matt Fray
Marriage, Equality & The Mental Load: A Candid Chat with Steph & Doug

For thoughtful gifts, for any occasion, please have a look at dontbuyherflowers.com

Follow Steph on Instagram.
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NOTE: This episode contains references to Christmas Magic that you may not want your children to hear!

In this honest and often hilarious Christmas bonus conversation, Steph sits down with psychotherapist Emma Reed Turrell to talk about the emotional, logistical and often invisible labour of Christmas; especially for women. From managing everyone’s expectations to trying to manufacture magical memories, from teenage eye-rolls to “it’s not that deep, Mum,” the pair unravel the layered reality behind creating a holiday that feels good for everyone but you.

Emma offers sharp insight into why December feels like it shrinks every year, why the list keeps getting longer and how social media quietly fuels our “shoulds.” They discuss the pressure to keep traditions alive, the moments that actually matter, and the quiet grief and shifting dynamics that shape Christmas behind the scenes.

Whether you're overwhelmed, exhausted, sentimental, or simply curious about how to make Christmas feel more human, this episode will land with warmth, compassion and a welcome dose of realism.

Emma Reed Turrell grew up near Portsmouth and went on to read English at Queens’ College, Cambridge. Following ten years working in business, she returned to her earlier passion for psychology and retrained as a psychotherapist.

Get a copy of Emma's book, What Am I Missing here.
Listen to Emma's podcast, Dial Emma, here.
For thoughtful gifts, for Christmas or any time of year, please have a look at dontbuyherflowers.com
Follow Steph on Instagram.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this powerful conversation, Steph is joined by Elliott Rae, speaker, podcaster, writer and social changemaker, to explore how masculinity is being renegotiated in today's world.

They dig into how traditional gender roles are evolving, why relationships shift after having children, and the ways societal expectations impact men’s mental health and fatherhood. They also discuss the influence of online culture on teenage boys, the lessons from the BBC drama Adolescence, and why open conversations (especially the messy, imperfect ones) are critical for change.

This episode is an honest, moving and often funny look at how we can create more equal partnerships, raise emotionally healthy boys, and support men to step outside the outdated "provider and protector" model. Steph and Elliott reflect on friendship, community, parenting through adolescence, and how small changes in how we live, talk, and connect can make a huge difference - for men, for families, and for society as a whole.

Elliott Rae is one of the UK’s most prominent writers and speakers on fatherhood, men’s mental health and masculinity. Elliott created the Parenting Out Loud campaign and culture change programme which has revolutionised the national conversation about working fathers. Through Parenting Out Loud, Elliott supports employers to build workplace cultures where dads can be loud and proud about their caring responsibilities at work.
As an author, Elliott curated the bestselling book, DAD, and as a presenter, he fronted the seminal BBC One documentary ‘Becoming Dad’ which was one of the 20 most watched documentaries across the whole BBC network in 2022.
Elliott co-hosts the popular podcast, To Be A Boy, which is one of the top parenting podcasts in the UK and he has written for publications such as The Independent, The Telegraph and Grazia and frequently appears across the media, including a feature on Loose Women and regular contributions to Radio 5 Live and BBC Radio London.

Steph’s Instagram
Thoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers

This episode we are proud to have an excellent sponsor:
Sweet Freedom - award winning syrups and spreads, always sweet, always natural. Use code DBHF15 for 15% off.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Parenting teenagers and navigating midlife can feel like a perfect storm. One moment you’re managing eye-rolls and slammed doors, the next you’re questioning why no one warned you about perimenopause. In this episode, Steph is joined by journalist, author, and parenting pro Lorraine Candy for a frank and reassuring conversation about raising teens, handling hormones, and keeping a sense of humour through it all.

In this episode Steph and Lorraine cover:

Why teenagers behave like they do (and how to stay calm when they don’t)
Talking to your kids about relationships, social media and boundaries
The truth about perimenopause and why so many women feel dismissed
Why midlife and parenting teens can feel like an emotional rollercoaster
Practical strategies for keeping communication open and family life less stressful

Lorraine also opens up about midlife, perimenopause and why so many women feel unsupported when they seek medical help. From advocating for yourself at the GP to understanding why teenagers don’t seem to "see" mess, this conversation is packed with insights, humour and reassurance for parents in the thick of it.

In this episode, we discuss:
The teenage brain: why logic often goes out the window
How to talk to your kids about sex, relationships, and social media
The struggles of perimenopause and why GPs still don’t have the right answers
Why midlife and parenting teens collide in unexpected ways
The importance of connection, dinner table conversations, and knowing when to back off

Lorraine Candy, is an author, editor and podcaster. She co-hosts the Postcards From Midlife podcast with Trish Halpin, host of The Times' podcast, The Parent Pod and is the author of 3 incredible books. She is a former editor of Cosmo, ELLE and Sunday Times Style and a mum of four children.

Steph’s Instagram

Thoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers

This episode we are proud to have two excellent sponsors:

Anara Skincare - luxury, natural skincare without compromise. Use code DBHF20 for 20% off.

Sweet Freedom - award winning syrups and spreads, always sweet, always natural. Use code DBHF15 for 15% off.
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Steph sits down with her husband of 17 years, Mark (Doug) Douglas, for an unfiltered and often hilarious deep dive into marriage, equality at home, and the invisible workload that often falls on women. From their whirlwind romance and early parenting struggles to resentment, gender roles, and the reality of balancing careers and family, no topic is off-limits.

Doug is a finance professional navigating the ever-evolving dynamics of modern partnerships. As a couple, Steph and Doug have had to unlearn traditional gender roles, redefine teamwork, and figure out how to stop bickering about the food shop. Spoiler alert - they don’t have it all figured out!

We Talk About:

The Mental Load & Motherhood - Why Steph felt trapped while Doug got to enjoy a solo train ride and a Pret sandwich.

When the Kindness Goes - How exhaustion and resentment creep into long-term relationships.
Relearning Equality - The moment Doug realized doing the food shop wasn’t just about clicking ‘repeat order’ on Tesco.

Paternity Leave & Male Privilege - Why many men still hesitate to take time off and what needs to change.

The Pancake Revelation - A seemingly small act that transformed their approach to sharing responsibilities.

The Chats That Changed Everything - From Eve Rodsky’s episode, How to Make it Fair to Matt Frey's This Is How Your Marriage Ends, the resources that helped them shift their mindset.

With plenty of laughter, some uncomfortable truths, and a whole lot of real talk, this episode is for anyone who has ever argued about housework, felt unseen in their relationship, or just wants to feel less alone in the chaos of modern family life.

And for those of you listening in real time, let's not forget that Mother's Day is just around the corner and Don't Buy Her Flowers is on standby to help you with a thoughtful gift that shows the mother in your life the gratitude they so deserve!

Steph’s Instagram

Thoughtful gifts at Don’t Buy Her Flowers

This episode we are proud to have two excellent sponsors:

Anara Skincare - luxury, natural skincare without compromise. Use code DBHF20 for 20% off.

Sweet Freedom - award winning syrups and spreads, always sweet, always natural. Use code DBHF15 for 15% off.

We recorded this episode at Patch in Twickenham, which is a co-working space and they have another four locations in England. Patch are offering 50% off the first two months membership with the code Steph50. Go to patch.work
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.