Gurl Talk with Jenny Raven

• Ep008 LadyC and Me: A Crossdressers Journey Into Her Own Truth

  Crossdressing, Identity, and Personal Freedom: My Intimate Conversation with LadyCThis episode was such a joy to record. Sitting down with my dear friend LadyC, who has an endless curiosity about human sexuality, felt like two friends sharing secrets over coffee. We laughed, we reminisced, and we explored a subject that has shaped so much of my life: crossdressing.I came into this conversation with the results of a survey I conducted with over 1,000 people, most of them Baby Boomers, GenXers, and older Millennials. The responses were fascinating and revealed how different generations view gender and sexuality. Early on I found myself saying something that has been sitting in my heart for a long time: “Crossdressing is such a harmless sexual kink, or as we’re going to discuss, it may well be partly identity as well.” That idea, that what we wear can be more than just clothing and can reflect who we truly are, set the tone for everything that followed.It was not just about numbers and theories. LadyC and I both shared personal stories and I opened up about my own journey in a way that felt both scary and freeing. I even went back to childhood memories, those innocent and confusing moments when you first start to wonder about sexuality. I laughed as I recalled, “I knew that sperm made babies, but I didn’t quite know how it came out of me.” It is funny now, but those early questions planted the seeds of a lifelong curiosity about identity and desire.The deeper we went, the more we talked about the energy of crossdressing. There is something so electric and yes, erotic, about it. For me, slipping into a different set of clothes is not just a physical act. It feels like stepping into another dimension of myself. LadyC and I explored how that “erotic energy” is not only about sex. It is about transformation, empowerment, and the thrill of becoming another version of me. At one point I said, “It is not just about wearing clothes, it is about inhabiting a different version of yourself,” and I still feel that truth vibrating inside me.We also unpacked society’s shifting attitudes. It struck both of us how, in many ways, it is now more socially acceptable to transition fully to another gender than to embrace a crossdressing alter ego. That observation shows how complicated and sometimes contradictory our culture’s understanding of gender expression really is.Perhaps my favorite part of the conversation was when we talked about liberation. There is such joy in this kind of self-expression. I found myself confessing, “When I slip into the feminine, I don’t have any fear of what my body looks like.” Clothing can be transformative in that way. It can dissolve shame and invite freedom.By the end, LadyC and I were practically buzzing with excitement. We are already planning to attend future events in costume and to keep exploring this world together. At one point I exclaimed, “We have unleashed the wild woman,” and we both burst into laughter.That is the heart of this episode for me: the wild woman, the hidden self, the part of us that wants to be seen, celebrated, and free. Crossdressing is not just about looking pretty in a dress. It is about stepping boldly into every part of who I am and inviting others to do the same.Introduction & Podcast Overview (00:00:16) Jenny introduces Lady C, outlines the episode’s focus on sexuality, cross-dressing, and self-discovery.Origins of the Cross-Dressing Survey (00:00:52) Jenny explains the genesis of the 2024/2025 cross-dressing surveys and their connection to personal biographies.Early Friendship & Shared Exploration (00:02:23) Jenny and Lady C reminisce about their first meeting and early conversations about sexuality and kink.Survey Demographics & Generational Differences (00:05:04) Discussion of survey respondent demographics, generational attitudes, and terminology differences (cross-dressing vs. trans).Changing Landscape of Gender Identity (00:07:10) Lady C reflects on evolving distinctions between cross-dressing and transgender identity, especially among younger generations.Personal Childhood Experiences & Shame (00:09:12) Jenny shares early experiences with cross-dressing, parental reactions, and the impact of shame.Inclusivity & Female Perspectives (00:10:38) Lady C discusses the need for more female voices and perspectives in cross-dressing research.Survey Data: Frivolity and Melancholy (00:12:02) Exploration of playful and melancholic themes in survey responses, including relationship challenges.Positive Survey Story: Acceptance in Relationships (00:13:43) Jenny highlights a survey response about a supportive spouse and positive cross-dressing experiences.Survey Story: Janice’s Lifelong Struggle (00:14:26) Lady C discusses a respondent’s journey from childhood cross-dressing to late-life struggles with acceptance.Sexual vs. Identity Components (00:17:22) Jenny and Lady C explore the dual nature of cross-dressing: sexual pleasure and personal relaxation.First Experiences with Lingerie (00:20:07) Jenny recounts early experiences acquiring and wearing women’s lingerie, and the secrecy involved.Erotic Awakening & Shame (00:24:10) Jenny describes the emotional and sexual impact of first orgasms while cross-dressed, and the associated guilt.Being Desired & The Camera (00:28:59) Discussion about the allure of being seen and photographed while cross-dressed.Media Influence & Female Beauty Standards (00:29:23) Lady C questions the impact of media and movie stars on perceptions of femininity and self-image.Confidence in Femininity vs. Masculinity (00:30:45) Jenny reflects on feeling more confident and sensual when cross-dressed than in masculine presentation.Erotic Energy & Creativity (00:34:27) Both discuss how erotic energy fuels creativity and confidence, and the boundaries around expressing it.Clubbing & Social Spaces (00:37:23) Conversation about the desire to go clubbing together in cross-dressing-friendly spaces.Aphrodisiac of Women’s Clothing (00:39:03) Discussion of the powerful sensual appeal of women’s clothing and the attention it brings.Sensory Experience of Fabrics (00:40:23) Comparison of the tactile sensations of men’s and women’s underwear and clothing.Nails, Leather, and Gender Expression (00:43:03) Exploration of how accessories like nails and leather impact feelings of power and gender expression.Societal Acceptance & Boundaries (00:44:28) Reflection on changing social norms, past fears about acceptance, and the limits of heteronormativity.Attraction to Tomboys & Authenticity (00:46:24) Jenny discusses attraction to tomboyish women and the authenticity of personal relationships.Cosplay, Fantasy, and Cross-Dressing (00:51:18) Comparison of cross-dressing to cosplay and the role of fantasy and costume in self-expression.Desire to Dress as Villainous Females (00:54:32) Lady C shares her fantasy of dressing as Poison Ivy and the appeal of villainous feminine personas.Peer Groups & Erotic Energy (00:57:41) Discussion of the importance of supportive peer groups and the energizing effect of shared erotic expression.Outro & Community Invitation (00:59:29) Jenny invites listeners to join her website and mailing list for stories and community engagement.cross-dressing, sexuality, self-discovery, gender identity, transgender, emotional aspects, societal acceptance, personal experiences, generational differences, cross-dressing surveys, sexual kink, identity exploration, taboo, societal norms, gender expression, erotic energy, femininity, male and female roles, personal anecdotes, cultural perceptions, cosplay, gender fluidity, societal acceptance of cross-dressing, intimate ideas, sexual arousal, personal journeys, peer groups, creative expression, community support, childhood experiences, taboo exploration, fashion and identity, playful exploration, societal expectations, acceptance and shame, erotic confidence, femininity ideals, personal empowerment, gender roles, sexual identity, societal change, cross-dressing narratives, self-acceptance, emotional experiences, androgyny, kink culture, LGBTQ+ discussions, identity and expression.

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• Ep007 Anna: The Crossdressers Wife

  From Shock to Acceptance: A Partner's Journey with CrossdressingWhen I sat down with Anna for this episode, I knew we were about to share a story that so many people need to hear. As a crossdresser myself - and an erotic author who writes about the delicate dance of gender expression - I’ve had countless conversations about identity, desire, and relationships. But Anna’s journey with her husband Harry truly moved me.Anna told me about a Friday night that completely flipped her world upside down. Eight years into their marriage, Harry dropped what felt like a bombshell: he wanted to share his desire to cross-dress. In that moment, Anna’s mind raced. She admitted her first thought was that something far worse was coming, an affair, a terminal illness. But instead, Harry’s revelation opened the door to an unexpected journey of love, acceptance, and growth that changed their relationship forever.What I love about Anna’s story is her honesty. She shared how, after the initial shock, she had to quiet all those “what will people think?” voices in her head and focus on her own feelings. “If I ignore society, if I ignore what other people might think about this, how do I feel about it?” she asked herself. Hearing her say that gave me chills. That kind of raw self-reflection is exactly what creates space for true connection.And here’s the beautiful twist: their intimate life actually blossomed. Anna lit up when she described how, when Harry becomes Harriet, it feels like they’re back at the very start of their relationship, those early butterflies and nervous excitement returning after years of marriage. How many couples can say they’ve rediscovered that spark in such an unexpected way?But Anna and Harry didn’t stop at their own relationship. They recognized how few resources there were for couples navigating cross-dressing together, so they created CrossDressed.uk, a safe, welcoming space for crossdressers and their partners to find real support and information. No judgment. Just honesty, understanding, and care.Of course, our conversation also wandered into my world—my erotic writing. I explained how I approach cross-dressing in my stories, not with graphic explicitness, but by capturing the subtle moments: the glances, the anticipation, the emotional charge when two people truly see each other. For me, those quiet, tender details are far more erotic than anything overt.Before we wrapped, Anna shared some heartfelt advice for anyone thinking of coming out to their partner. Timing is everything. Honesty is crucial. And most of all, you have to listen, really listen, to your partner’s reaction without defensiveness. Sharing your truth is only half the journey; creating a safe space for them to process it is just as important.This conversation reminded me why I started this podcast in the first place. Love isn’t about fitting into society’s boxes. It’s about creating a space where both partners can be their truest selves. Anna and Harry’s story proves that with patience, understanding, and open communication, relationships can not only survive unexpected revelations, they can thrive because of them.

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• Ep006 Trish: Live once, try twice and don't die wondering

  Live once, try twice and don't die wonderingMy Enlightening Chat with Trish from Be A LadyI recently had the absolute pleasure of sitting down with Trish, the amazing woman behind Be A Lady, and let me tell you - it was one eye-opening conversation! As someone who's personally explored cross-dressing, I was thrilled to chat with someone who's dedicated her life to supporting people like me on their journey of self-discovery.Right from the start, Trish's energy was infectious. We kicked things off with some fun rapid-fire questions about clothing preferences, and her motto "live once, try twice and don't die wondering" really set the tone for our entire chat. I love how she approaches everything with such openness and enthusiasm - it's exactly what this community needs.What really struck me was hearing about how Trish started Be A Lady. She shared this fascinating story about her early days working in adult shops and her first encounter with cross-dressing clients. You could really hear the passion in her voice when she explained how she went from being somewhat naive about the whole thing to creating this amazing safe space for people to explore their identity.One of the most powerful parts of our conversation was when we dove into the challenges many cross-dressers face. Trish revealed that most of her clients are secret cross-dressers who haven't come out to their partners, which really hit home for me. We talked about how society's attitudes are slowly changing, but there's still so much fear and stigma to overcome. It's why spaces like Be A Lady are so incredibly important.The way Trish described the transformation process at her service was absolutely beautiful. It's not just about putting on makeup and a dress - it's about that moment when someone looks in the mirror and sees their true self for the first time. She told me about clients having these incredible moments of realization, saying things like "Oh my God, that's me. The real true me that needs to shine every now and again." Those stories gave me goosebumps.We also got into some really interesting discussions about the emotional and erotic aspects of cross-dressing, which I know can be a sensitive topic for some. But Trish approached it with such professionalism and understanding, explaining how it's all part of exploring one's identity and feeling sexually empowered. It was refreshing to have such an honest, judgment-free conversation about these aspects that often get swept under the rug.Throughout our chat, we kept coming back to this idea of self-discovery and personal liberation. Trish's approach really resonated with me - she believes in creating a space where people can safely explore who they are, try new things, and never have to live with the regret of wondering "what if?" Her service isn't just about transformation; it's about empowerment and acceptance, something that I think we could all use a little more of in our lives.

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• Ep 005: Emily Letts, A Journey of Self-Exploration Through Kink

  In this powerful and deeply intimate episode of Gurl Talk, Jenny Raven delves into her personal journey of self-exploration and discovery with therapeutic kink practitioner Emily Letts. Emily, based in Boulder, Colorado, shares her expertise in using kink and BDSM as tools for transformation and healing. The conversation delves into the complexities of unlocking suppressed desires, navigating societal expectations, and embracing one's true self.We cover a wide range of topics, including the intersection of divine masculine and divine feminine energies within us, the importance of exploring one's squishy emotions, and the power of breath in processing pain and pleasure. Emily offers valuable insights on how individuals can approach their journey of self-discovery with curiosity, authenticity, and a commitment to embracing all parts of themselves.Don't miss this raw and authentic conversation that shines a light on the transformative power of embracing one's true desires and embarking on a journey of self-discovery.Fun Rapid-Fire Questions (00:00:37) Jennie asks Emily playful, quick-fire questions about preferences in clothing, sensuality, and self-description.Emily’s Background and Path to Therapeutic Kink (00:01:46) Emily shares her upbringing, education, and journey into therapeutic kink and BDSM as a healing practice.Client Journeys and Why People Seek Therapeutic Kink (00:06:09) Emily describes the typical clients she works with, their backgrounds, and what draws them to her practice.Jennie’s Personal Journey and Community Sadness (00:07:57) Jennie discusses her own experience as a cross-dresser, writing erotic fiction, and the sadness in the cross-dressing community.Themes of Power, Control, and Being Seen (00:10:20) Jennie reflects on themes of being seen, accepted, and desired, and how these relate to her writing and identity.Sadness in Masculinity and Divine Energies (00:10:48) Emily introduces the concept of divine masculine and feminine energies, and how societal expectations create sadness in men.Explaining Divine Masculine and Feminine (00:13:20) Emily elaborates on tantric principles, the balance of masculine and feminine energies, and their impact on identity.Emotional Repression and Healing for Men (00:15:12) Emily discusses how men are socialized to repress feelings, and how her work helps them reconnect with their feminine side.Jennie’s Masking and Early Trauma (00:17:14) Jennie shares her experience of putting on a “mask” in childhood, early trauma, and the impact on her adult life.Societal Systems, Family, and Gender Healing (00:23:03) Emily connects her background in reproductive justice to the need for healing men and normalizing gender exploration.Prevalence of Gender Exploration Among Men (00:25:25) Jennie and Emily discuss how common gender exploration is among men, and the difference between those who embrace it and those who don’t.Oppression of Men and Success Narratives (00:26:46) Emily critiques societal definitions of success and how they oppress men, stifling creativity and playfulness.Challenges in Relationships and Expression (00:27:52) Jennie brings up the difficulty many men face expressing their true selves in relationships, and partners’ reactions.Archetypes, Roles, and Relationship Dynamics (00:30:27) Emily explains archetypes, the rigidity of gender roles, and why shifting them can threaten relationship structures.Navigating Self-Expression and Relationships (00:32:03) Emily gives advice on committing to self-exploration, the futility of suppressing one’s true self, and the importance of honesty.Steps for Coming Out to a Partner (00:34:10) Emily outlines practical steps for self-inquiry, building safety, and approaching partners about kink or gender exploration.Jennie’s Experience with Partners and Coasting (00:40:59) Jennie describes her own relationship dynamics, letting “Jenny” out, and the resulting flatness in her partnership.Living a Double Life and Fear of Rejection (00:44:38) Jennie admits to living a double life, the fear of being alone, and the deep attachment wounds from childhood.Transforming Pain into Power and Healing (00:48:19) Emily encourages reframing painful memories as sources of healing and discusses the power of integrating the feminine.Advice for Older Adults Exploring Hidden Selves (00:54:40) Emily offers advice for older individuals wanting to explore repressed aspects, emphasizing breath, curiosity, and pleasure.Finding Community and Emily’s Work (00:56:58) Emily talks about her group work with men, the importance of brotherhood, and following pleasure rather than forcing it.Closing and How to Connect with Emily (00:58:20) Emily shares her website and social media, and Jennie wraps up the episode with information about her own website and offerings.therapeutic kink, BDSM, personal transformation, healing, spiritual connection, identity, power dynamics, emotional healing, gender expression, cross-dressing, divine masculine, divine feminine, emotional repression, systemic oppression, vulnerability, self-exploration, erotic fiction, societal expectations, breathwork, intimacy, emotional freedom, masculinity, femininity, archetypes, self-inquiry, authenticity, compassion, acceptance, sexual identity, repression, emotional suffering, gender identity, creativity, self-acceptance, therapeutic practice, personal development, trauma, shadow self, erotic spaces, social work, reproductive justice, anti-racism, community support, masculine energy, feminine energy, emotional intimacy, connection, healing journey, self-discovery, duality, societal norms, playfulness, curiosity, empowerment, emotional expression, kink as therapy, relationship dynamics, compassion in healing, identity exploration, emotional complexity.

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• Ep 004: Katie Gardner, XDress Insta Sensation

  Finding Your True Self: A Deep Dive into Gender Expression and Cross-DressingIn this heartwarming and eye-opening conversation between Jenny Raven and Katie Gardener, two Gen X cross-dressers share their intimate journey of self-discovery and gender expression. The chat feels like eavesdropping on two old friends catching up over coffee, with Katie's candid admission that she'd ideally be Katie full-time setting the tone for an honest and revealing discussion.The conversation takes us back to the not-so-distant past of the 70s and 80s, where being different wasn't exactly celebrated. Katie opens up about her earliest memories of being drawn to women's clothing, particularly the fabrics and styles that seemed exclusively feminine. It's fascinating to hear how these early experiences shaped her identity, even though society wasn't ready to understand or accept such expressions of gender fluidity.What really hits home is the generational perspective they bring to the table. Both Jenny and Katie point out how today's world is so different from their younger days. They note how trans identities are now more accepted "on the high street," while also acknowledging that cross-dressing occupies its own unique space in the spectrum of gender expression. It's like watching society evolve through their personal lens.The discussion gets particularly interesting when they dive into the physical and emotional aspects of their journey. There's this fascinating bit about how aging and changing testosterone levels might influence gender expression - it's the kind of real talk that you rarely hear in mainstream conversations about gender identity. Katie's observation that "the more something is sort of dark and driven underground, the more it wants to come out" really captures the struggle many face with hidden identities.When it comes to relationships, both hosts don't hold back about the challenges of revealing their true selves to partners. The quote about Katie being "undiscovered" and becoming a bigger bombshell the longer she stays hidden really drives home the emotional weight of keeping such a significant part of oneself under wraps. It's a reminder of how personal relationships can be both challenging and transformative for those exploring their gender identity.The conversation wraps up with some seriously heartfelt advice for younger folks who might be wrestling with similar feelings. Their message is beautifully simple: enjoy who you are, and don't feel pressured to come out if you're not ready. It's refreshing to hear such accepting and nurturing guidance from people who've walked this path before. The whole discussion feels like a warm hug for anyone who might be questioning or exploring their own gender expression.This honest and open dialogue serves as a powerful reminder that everyone's journey with gender identity is unique and valid. Whether someone identifies as a cross-dresser, transgender, or is still figuring things out, there's something incredibly valuable in hearing stories from those who've navigated these waters before. It's like they're saying, "Hey, wherever you are on your journey, it's okay - you're not alone in this."Introduction and Guest Welcome (00:00:04) Jenny introduces the podcast and welcomes Katie Gardner, discussing how they met and Katie’s current mood.Identity and Lifestyle (00:00:29) Katie shares her identity as a serious crossdresser and describes her balance between male and female presentation.Quick Fire Style and Preferences (00:01:14) Rapid-fire questions about Katie’s style, clothing preferences, and favorite items.First Crossdressing Experiences (00:02:23) Katie recalls her first experiences with feminine clothing and the sensations it brought.Generational Identity (00:04:03) Discussion about generational identity (Gen X) and its impact on gender expression.Meeting Online and Story Sharing (00:04:46) Jenny and Katie discuss meeting on Instagram and the impact of Jenny’s stories on Katie.Being Seen and Accepted (00:05:34) The importance of acceptance and being seen as a crossdresser.Who is Katie? (00:06:05) Katie describes her feminine persona and how she presents herself both online and in public.Going Out as Katie (00:06:35) Katie’s experiences and feelings about going out dressed as Katie.Public Reactions and Acceptance (00:07:01) Katie shares her experiences with public reactions and acceptance, especially from women.Instagram and Face Swap Journey (00:08:49) Katie explains her journey with face swap apps, Instagram growth, and the emotional impact of seeing herself as Katie.Emotional Significance of Dressing (00:10:02) Discussion about the deep emotional release and connection experienced through dressing.Childhood and Early Shame (00:11:07) Katie recounts her childhood, secrecy, and the shame associated with crossdressing in earlier decades.Family Awareness and Secrecy (00:12:54) Katie discusses whether her family suspected her crossdressing and the need for secrecy.Generational Differences in Gender Expression (00:14:04) Exploration of generational shifts in how crossdressing and trans identities are perceived and expressed.First Time Dressing with Others (00:17:03) Katie shares her limited experiences dressing with others and her desire for more shared experiences.Relationships and Coming Out (00:18:22) Jenny and Katie discuss coming out to partners and the impact on relationships.Wardrobe Comparison (00:20:03) Comparison of their feminine and masculine wardrobes and the ease of shopping for feminine clothes today.Favorite Everyday Clothes (00:21:18) Katie describes her favorite types of clothing to wear daily as Katie.The Sensation of Feminine Clothing (00:22:21) Discussion about the unique sensations and mental health benefits of wearing feminine clothes.Katie’s Presence in Daily Life (00:23:57) How Katie’s feminine side influences daily thoughts and experiences, even when presenting as male.Katie’s Increasing Presence with Age (00:25:15) Katie reflects on how her feminine side has become more prominent over time, especially after becoming single.Testosterone, Aging, and Gender Expression (00:26:12) Jenny discusses the scientific link between aging, testosterone, and increased feminine expression.Katie’s Role in Relationship Ending (00:27:12) Katie explains how her crossdressing contributed to the end of a relationship.Advice for Partners of Crossdressers (00:28:08) Jenny shares her motivation for writing a book to help partners understand crossdressing.Healthy Expression vs. Suppression (00:28:50) The benefits of open expression versus suppressing one’s feminine side.Reflections and Final Thoughts (00:29:21) Katie asks Jenny if she ever wishes she wasn’t Jenny; both reflect on embracing their feminine sides.Integration of Masculine and Feminine (00:31:44) Jenny discusses the balance and integration of her masculine and feminine selves.Katie’s Coping Strategies (00:32:18) Katie shares how dressing as Katie helps her cope with stress and daily tasks.Erotic Energy and Mental Health (00:32:45) Jenny describes the energizing and life-affirming effects of embracing her feminine side.Advice to Younger Self (00:34:26) Both offer advice to their younger selves and to young listeners about embracing and enjoying their feminine side.Where to Find Katie (00:36:04) Katie shares her Instagram handle and invites listeners to follow her.Closing Remarks (00:36:37) Jenny thanks Katie and the audience, and shares information about her website and mailing list.crossdressing, gender expression, identity, personal style, societal acceptance, emotional significance, crossdresser experiences, generational differences, transgender acceptance, social media, face transformation technology, mental health benefits, feminine clothing, intimate moments, self-acceptance, visibility, dual identity, feminine persona, empowerment, LGBTQ+ community, gender fluidity, personal growth, podcast, Jenny Raven, Katie Gardner, intimate conversation, fashion preferences, emotional release, supportive dialogue, societal challenges, sexual energy, self-discovery, Instagram journey, embracing femininity, gender norms, personal experiences, clothing preferences, wardrobe, acceptance, identity exploration, feminine identity, masculine identity, relationship dynamics, authenticity, confidence, liberation.

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