Hiss & Tell: Cat Behavior and Beyond

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Grief gets policed in ways we rarely admit, and pet loss is where that policing shows up fast. When someone says “it was just a cat,” they’re not only dismissing your relationship, they’re dodging the reality that love creates responsibility and loss. I’m joined by journalist and author s.e. smith to talk about their upcoming book, *All My Dead Cats and Other Losses*, and how pet bereavement can open the door to deeper, more honest conversations about mourning in the United States.

We dig into why our culture struggles to validate grief, why people often show up briefly and then disappear, and how capitalism pressures us to return to work and “be normal” before we’ve processed anything. s.e. breaks down the bias in how people respond to dog loss versus cat loss, how pets can represent entire eras of our lives, and what it means to treat grief as a collective project instead of a private burden you’re supposed to handle alone.

We also get practical about end-of-life care: euthanasia guilt, the myth of the peaceful “natural death,” quality-of-life tracking, and the value of planning ahead so you’re not forced into a crisis goodbye. Then we talk rituals that actually help, from memorials and viewings to altars and carrying small mementos, plus how social media can both normalize grief and complicate it with parasocial intensity.

If you’ve ever felt ashamed of how deeply you grieve an animal companion or unsure how to support someone who is hurting, this conversation is for you. Subscribe, share this with a friend who loves their pets, and leave a rating or review so more people can find the show.

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Cat pee on the rug. Poop beside the box. A cat who “always used it before” and suddenly won’t. Those moments feel personal, but they’re usually biology, stress, or a litter box setup that isn’t working anymore. I’m joined by Dr. Jacklyn Ellis, Director of Behavior at the Toronto Humane Society, to get uncomfortably specific about what cats are doing in the litter box and what they’re trying to tell us.

We unpack the science of feline elimination behavior, including how researchers build an ethogram to capture dozens of distinct “micro behaviors” that most of us never notice. Dr. Ellis explains what changes when cats move between an enriched environment and a restrictive, clinic-like one and why holding urine can be more than a behavior issue. We also talk about the subtle signs of discomfort, from pawing at the wall to repeated aborted attempts, and when a vet visit matters even if your cat seems “fine,” especially with conditions tied to FLUTD and hidden pain.

Then we dive into her multicat household litter box research: clean vs dirty boxes, whether cats care who used it, and the surprising difference between odor and physical obstruction. If you’ve ever wondered how often to scoop, whether scented litter helps, or how “one box per cat plus one” actually plays out in real homes, you’ll leave with clear, practical guidance, including how to run a simple preference test and why box size is often the biggest win.

If this helped you see your cat differently, subscribe, share the episode with a fellow cat person, and leave a rating or review so more owners can solve litter box problems with empathy and evidence.

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Cat aggression, overgrooming, and litter box “problems” are easy to label and surprisingly hard to solve, especially when we treat the behavior as the diagnosis. We sit down with veterinary psychiatrist Dr. Sagi Dennenberg to get underneath the label and into what’s actually driving the cat’s behaviors: fear, anxiety, frustration, learned patterns, pain, and even underdiagnosed skin disease.

We talk about why behavior and physical health are inseparable in cats, including how stress can skew vital signs and lab results and why “my cat is not herself” can be an early warning sign before anything obvious shows up on an exam. Sagi explains what a true behavioral diagnosis looks like, why home observation and video can reveal subtle pain, and how clinicians can avoid the trap of calling something “psychogenic” too quickly.

Then we demystify psychoactive medications for cats. We cover what meds can realistically do (normalize biological behaviors and lower emotional intensity) and what they cannot do (teach skills or replace behavior modification). You’ll hear how diagnosis guides medication choice, what to expect from SSRIs like fluoxetine, how to think about timelines and tapering, and why many “side effects” are actually a return to normal sleep and eating patterns. We also get practical about dosing challenges, including when transdermal medications may help and when they can backfire, especially in multicat homes.

If you’ve felt unsure about cat behavior meds, worried about side effects, or stuck with an ongoing behavior issue, this conversation will give you a clearer framework and more confidence in your next steps. Subscribe for more, share this with a fellow cat person, and leave a rating or review so more listeners can find the show.

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Your cat is “telling you” what they feel. The problem is that most of us are listening with the wrong cues. I sit down with Professor Serenella d'Ingeo, an animal physiology and behavior researcher, to unpack what the science of feline communication actually says and why humans routinely miss stress signals that are right in front of us.

We talk about why cats can seem aloof or unreadable compared with dogs, including their different domestication history and the fact that cats are facultatively social. From there, we dig into research findings that are a little uncomfortable but incredibly useful: people are only slightly better than chance at identifying whether a cat is relaxed, tense, or fearful, and the observer’s characteristics and experience can matter more than the cat’s behavior itself. If you live with an indoor cat whose environment depends on you, that gap in understanding has real consequences for welfare, chronic stress, anxiety, and behavior problems.

Then we get practical with cat body language and petting consent. We break down what to watch across the whole body, how pupil size can be an early indicator of arousal, and why “staying still” during petting is not the same as enjoying it. I also share an easy tool for cat parents: record your petting sessions on your phone and replay them to catch the tiny moment your cat says “enough” before it turns into petting aggression.

We also explore multicat household dynamics and when to intervene, plus one of the most fascinating studies on cat scent and brain lateralization, including a nostril preference linked to stress processing. If you care about cat behavior, feline stress signals, and building a calmer home, hit play, subscribe, and share this with a fellow cat person, then leave a rating or review so more listeners can find the show.

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Your cat isn’t “fine” just because they’re quiet! Cats are built to hide pain, and that’s exactly why so many chronic issues like kidney disease, dental disease, arthritis, hypertension, and even heart disease get missed until they explode into a crisis.

I sit down with veterinarian Dr. Kevin Toman, who has 40 years in practice and now focuses on pet longevity science, to talk about how to help cats not only live longer but live better. We dig into the subtle at-home signals that matter most, why litter box changes often point to medical problems, and how simple diagnostics like SDMA, urinalysis, blood pressure checks, and the Pro-BNP test can act as an early warning system. If you’ve ever wondered whether your cat’s “aging” is actually treatable pain, this conversation gives you a practical framework.

We also tackle the confusing stuff: supplement hype versus evidence, nutrition marketing that targets humans instead of feline biology, and the most reliable longevity lever most households can actually implement: calorie control paired with better enrichment. Then we get into hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (HCM), a condition Dr. Toman says may affect up to one in six cats, and what’s changed recently with rapamycin and other prescription longevity drugs. We close with clear, actionable steps and the kinds of “why” questions to ask your vet so your cat’s care fits their real risk.

If you found this helpful, subscribe, share the episode with another cat guardian, and leave a rating or review so more people can find the show. What’s one health topic you want us to go deeper on next?