The ADHD Channel for Women (formerly MissUnderstood)

“You’re not living up to your potential.” If those words have haunted you, you’re not alone — and the story you’ve been telling yourself about why might be wrong.

Dr. J breaks down two patterns she sees in her ADHD clients: the person who checked out after years of “you’re smart, you just don’t apply yourself”; and the high achiever whose color-coded planners are hiding total exhaustion. 

She digs into research on ADHD and perfectionism, and why so many women spend decades masking or overachieving without ever getting a diagnosis.

Then, five concrete strategies: 

Understanding your type of ADHD

Creating distance from the inner monologue

Figuring out whose goals you’re chasing

Building a plan that works with your brain instead of against it

Unmasking with the right people

Your potential was never a ceiling you kept failing to reach. It’s a launching pad — and you get to define it.

For more on this topic 

Watch: ADHD and burnout

Watch: ADHD and people pleasing

For a transcript and more resources, visit The ADHD Channel for Women on Understood.org. You can also email us at podcast@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Money is one of the biggest sources of conflict in relationships — and for people with ADHD, it comes with an extra layer of shame most people don’t talk about.

Cate sits down with Dr. Christine Hargrove, a financial therapist who specializes in ADHD, to unpack why money fights escalate so fast, why who’s the “mental load carrier” matters more than who earns more, and why people with ADHD often give better financial advice to their friends than they follow themselves.

Christine breaks down the concept of “money meaning” — the idea that when couples fight about spending, they’re rarely fighting about the actual dollars. They discuss financial self-efficacy, the five types of couple coping (and which ones actually work), and why body doubling might be the most underrated financial tool for ADHD brains.

Cate also opens up about her own history with compulsive spending, debt, and the shame that kept her from asking for help — and what finally changed.

If you’ve ever felt “bad with money” or avoided opening an app because of what you might see, this episode is for you.

For more on this topic

Watch: Why is money so hard with ADHD? A financial therapist explains

Watch: Money problems and ADHD? Here’s a financial therapist’s advice

For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Does replying to a text feel harder than it should? Or do you struggle when someone reminds you to do something you were already planning to do? In this episode, Dr. J breaks down the real science behind ADHD avoidance: how the nervous system mistakes tasks for threats, why perfectionism makes starting feel risky, and what actually happens in your brain before a shutdown. Plus, practical strategies to interrupt the avoidance loop without shame, force, or another failed to-do list.

For more on this topic 

Watch: ADHD and accountability

Listen: ADHD and procrastination

For a transcript and more resources, visit The ADHD Channel for Women on Understood.org. You can also email us at podcast@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Fidget toys, like NeeDohs, are sold out and  banned in classrooms. Journalist Anna North joins us to unpack how fidget toys went from gag gifts to a generational obsession, and what that shift reveals about neurodivergence, attention, and play. Plus, fidget toys are not just for kids. We look at how they are destigmatizing fidgeting for neurodivergent adults. And we dig into the science behind fidgeting, the history of the fidget spinner, and whether this wave of acceptance for sensory needs will survive. 

For more on this topic:  

Read: Why your kid is obsessed with squishy toys

Watch: Can I get rid of my adult sensory issues?

For a transcript and more resources, visit Hyperfocus on Understood.org. You can also email us at hyperfocus@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ever feel like you’re the “parent” in your relationship — managing everything while your partner just... coasts? You’re not alone. And it’s not just you being controlling. 

Host Cate Osborn talks with ADHD coach Kristen Carder (host of I Have ADHD, author of the upcoming You’re Not in Trouble) about why ADHD relationships so easily slide into parent-child dynamics, and how to climb back out.

They get into why resentment is the red flag to watch for, and Kristen’s favorite mantra for “de-centering” an overfunctioning partner (“there is no sun — we’re equals here”). Plus eldest daughter syndrome, and why chicken nuggets for dinner is sometimes the healthiest choice you’ll make all day.

Honest, funny, and genuinely useful if you’ve ever wondered whether you’re parenting your partner instead of loving them.

For more on this topic 

Listen: Sorry, I Missed This: When ADHD turns chores into conflict

Watch: ADHD expert answers 8 top questions on romantic relationships

For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at sorryimissedthis@understood.org.

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.