Change is Possible

Tony O'Reilly's first ever bet was a £1 punt at France '98, and the rush of being told he was good at something for the first time set off an addiction that would cost him his marriage, his freedom and very nearly his life.
Brian sits down with Tony for an honest conversation about gambling addiction, shame, secrecy and what it takes to rebuild a life after losing everything.
Tony was a barman in Carlow who grew up feeling he was never good enough. That first win gave him money, but more than that, it gave him a feeling. Within a few years he had opened an online account called Tony10, was gambling on a credit card from his bedroom, and was lying to the people he loved. He paid for his own wedding with a horse that won three days after the ceremony. He became the youngest branch manager in An Post, and then began taking money from the safe, convinced he could win it all back before the next audit. By the end, he had stolen €1.75 million, all of it lost to gambling.
Brian and Tony talk about the anticipation and ritual that hook people as much as any win, the way lying becomes automatic, gambling in the hospital the day his daughter was born, driving through a blizzard to stop anyone opening the safe, and the night his family tracked him down in a hotel room in Carrickfergus. Tony speaks openly about how close he came to ending his life, about three years in prison, and about Marcus, the man everyone feared who quietly looked after him inside.
They also explore forgiveness, the guilt that still visits Tony in recurring dreams, and the advice he gives families today: tell the person how you feel, plant the seed, and keep the door open.
This is a conversation about addiction, honesty and the hope that you can go to hell and back and still build a life worth living.
If anything in this episode affects you, please reach out to someone you trust or a support service near you.
Season 3 of Change Is Possible is proudly supported by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Turas Nua⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, helping people build skills and take the next steps towards employment, because with the right support, change really is possible. Learn more at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Turas Nua⁠⁠⁠
Connect with ⁠Tony on his ⁠website.
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Chapters:
0:00 How a £1 bet made Tony feel good enough
7:15 Opening the Tony10 account and gambling from home
13:05 A big win, and the first time he lied about it
19:00 The wedding that gambling nearly cost him
26:55 Rising through An Post while stealing from the safe
35:45 Living a double life as his daughter arrived
44:25 Losing his mind as the numbers spiralled
46:50 Running away, and the last bet he ever placed
58:45 Being found, and facing treatment, court and prison
1:09:40 Learning to forgive himself, and living with guilt
1:13:35 What families and those struggling can do
1:20:15 Hope, and the legacy Tony wants to leave

Spotify themes: Gambling addiction, recovery, shame and secrecy, family, forgiveness, prison, hope, mental health

When the doctor told Guggi his chances weren't great, he felt no fear at all. Not even one per cent.
Brian sits down with the Irish artist Guggi for an honest conversation about faith, art, loss, and learning to see beauty in the things most of us walk straight past.
Guggi grew up on Cedarwood Road in Ballymun, Dublin, alongside his best friend since early childhood, U2 frontman Bono. As a young man he fronted The Virgin Prunes, and he taught himself to paint from scratch. He was once laughed out of a London gallery, yet he never doubted the great artist inside him. A ruptured aneurysm a few years ago, and then the loss of his parents and his brother Clive, showed him how little time any of us has, and how much work he still has to make.
A few years ago, a ruptured aneurysm in his brain nearly took his life. He describes the night it happened, the brain surgery that followed, and why he's now genuinely grateful for it. He also talks about losing his parents and his brother Clive, and how all of it has given him a sense of urgency about the work he still has to make.
Brian and Guggi explore why ordinary bowls and jugs became his visual language, why art speaks in a way words never can, and why painting has never once felt lonely. Brian also shares his own story of seeing the world glow during a heroin detox, and the two talk about faith, presence, and Guggi's brother Andy, whose addiction Guggi believes grew out of trauma.
Season 3 of Change Is Possible is proudly supported by ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Turas Nua⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠, helping people build skills and take the next steps towards employment, because with the right support, change really is possible. Learn more at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Turas Nua⁠⁠
Connect with ⁠Guggi on his website and Instagram.
You can see Guggi's amazing new documentary in cinema's in Dingle and Galway soon. Click here for details about Dingle and here for ⁠Galway⁠.
Connect with Brian
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⬛ Buy Brian’s memoir, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bonus Time⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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Chapters:
0:00 Intro
1:09 How losing people changes us
3:37 The night everything nearly ended
8:22 Growing up in Ballymun and finding freedom in TheVirgin Prunes
16:03 Being laughed at, and believing anyway
20:14 The moment he committed to art for good
23:05 The quiet heroism of Irish mothers
25:46 Learning to see beauty in everyday things
34:48 Why art feels spiritual, and why he never paints alone
43:47 Choosing faith over fear
49:55 Looking ahead
53:56 Andy's story and the trauma beneath addiction

Spotify themes: Faith, Art, Spirituality, Grief, Gratitude, Self Belief, Near Death Experience, Creativity, Family, Addiction and Trauma

Some of the wealthiest people in the world can buy anything they want and still feel completely lost. David Cornwell has worked as a therapist to the rich and famous, and he says their suffering is very familiar.
Brian sits down with psychotherapist and meditation teacher David Cornwell for an honest conversation about addiction, identity, the nervous system and what it really takes for change to last.
David grew up in Ardglass, a small fishing village in the north of Ireland, working in fish factories from the age of nine. By his late teens there was alcohol, ecstasy, blackouts and a growing sense of being lost. Then, on his way to mass one Sunday at university, he stepped over a man lying unconscious in the street. That moment showed him how disconnected he had become. Soon after, a friend handed him a book on meditation, and the next day he walked into a Buddhist centre and felt, for the first time in years, that he had come home to himself.
What followed was 27 years of practice: a solitary retreat in a hut in the Pyrenees, a year living in a teepee in Ibiza, a decade teaching meditation in Istanbul, training in somatic experiencing, study at Oxford, and work at The Balance, a clinic known for treating some of the world's most famous and powerful people.
Brian and David explore why trauma can show up as freeze and dissociation as well as fight and flight, how the nervous system learns to settle itself again, and why recovery is less about stopping a behaviour and more about a shift in identity. David shares the one question he asks every client on day one, why so many men are waiting for a doctor to give them permission to stop drinking, and his concern about young people using cocaine at weekends.
Brian also opens up about his own recovery, and how David gave him language for what changed in him in detox: a gut feeling, a quiet knowing, and a body that went from enemy to friend.
This is a conversation about meaning, about the simple things we forget, and about the original meaning of mindfulness: to remember.
Season 3 of Change Is Possible is proudly supported by ⁠⁠⁠⁠Turas Nua⁠⁠⁠⁠, helping people build skills and take the next steps towards employment, because with the right support, change really is possible. Learn more at ⁠⁠⁠⁠ Turas Nua⁠
Connect with David.
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Chapters:
0:00 Introduction
0:34 A fishing village childhood and a young man who felt lost
4:12 The moment David walked past someone in need
13:54 How freeze and dissociation made meditation feel safe
20:46 The road through Thailand, Ibiza and Istanbul
25:11 How the nervous system learns to release stress
41:20 Oxford, The Balance and sitting with the super rich
54:22 Why everything rests on the tip of intention
59:54 Recovery as a shift in who you are
1:07:10 What needs to change beneath the behaviour for it to last
1:19:26 Mindfulness as the practice of remembering
1:26:43 The power of breathing well, and where to find David

Spotify themes: Addiction and recovery, mindfulness, trauma and the nervous system, meaning and identity, men's mental health, wealth and happiness, meditation, breathing

At 32 Síle Seoige was diagnosed with cancer, but the hardest moment of her life came a year later, when she lay on her bed unable to move.
Brian sits down with Síle, broadcaster and host of the Ready to Be Real podcast, for an honest conversation about loss, vulnerability, empathy and what it really takes to find yourself again.
Still under care for cancer, Síle went through the end of a long relationship and lost a radio job she loved, all at once. On her lowest morning, a friend rang and talked her down the stairs, step by step, to make a cup of tea. Then he asked the question she didn't want to hear: "Okay, what are you gonna do about it?" That question led her to a yoga therapy class where she cried at the back of the room, and into four years of deep, difficult inner work that taught her to finally like the person she was.
Brian and Síle explore why pride kept her from vulnerability for so long, why sound and chant became her way into meditation, and how she holds the weight of being a deeply empathetic person. She speaks openly about her awakening to injustice in the world, why she believes self care was always meant to lead to collective care, and what she has learned from well over 200 conversations on her own podcast.
There are lighter moments too: her gardening era at 47, moving home to Galway to live by the sea, and the sticky notes all over her house that she credits with helping her through two unmedicated births (with "radish sandwich" as the safe word she never needed).
This is a conversation about hitting the floor, getting back up one step at a time, and being the friend who picks up the phone.
Season 3 of Change Is Possible is proudly supported by ⁠⁠⁠Turas Nua⁠⁠⁠, helping people build skills and take the next steps towards employment, because with the right support, change really is possible. Learn more at ⁠⁠⁠ Turas Nua⁠⁠⁠⁠
Coonect with Síle
Connect with Brian
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Chapters:
0:00 The hardest year wasn't the cancer
3:29 A friend's call on the darkest morning
6:15 Finding refuge in a yoga class
8:06 Letting go of pride and embracing vulnerability
11:52 Four years of turning inward
18:22 Finding peace through sound and chant
22:16 Being ready to be real, and Hala's story
26:46 Living with deep empathy
35:17 Why self care was always meant to be collective care
51:36 A belief that the soul is infinite
57:53 How motherhood rewired her
1:05:47 Admitting you're not okay

Spotify themes: Resilience, vulnerability, cancer, heartbreak, identity, empathy, yoga, meditation, spirituality, motherhood, community, mental health

All Breda O'Toole ever wanted was someone to talk to. Instead, she was given Valium, 29 electric shock treatments and 23 years of psychiatric care.
Brian sits down with Breda O'Toole, author of Unseen: A Memoir of Trauma, Ireland's Psychiatric System and a Lifetime Spent Healing, for an honest conversation about childhood trauma, loneliness, misdiagnosis and the long road back to herself.
Breda grew up the eldest of seven, in a home shaped by her father's unprocessed war trauma and alcoholism, where children were to be seen and not heard. At 15 she entered a convent where silence was the rule. When she finally asked for help in her twenties, nobody asked what had happened to her. She was prescribed Valium, which led to a ten year addiction, and was later strapped into a straitjacket for 11 days. It was there, in the middle of it all, that she discovered a part of herself that could never be destroyed.
Brian and Breda explore how loneliness can be the deepest wound of all, why safety matters so much for healing, and what happened when a single phone call told her to take back control of her life. She shares how she weaned herself off every medication and stayed medication free for 30 years, how writing her book brought up decades of suppressed anger, and how she is now facing multiple myeloma with faith, acceptance and a resilience she first built as a child.
There are moments of real tenderness here too: a nurse who visited every day at 4pm, a father who carried her out of a hospital ward, and a reunion with two college friends 55 years later.
This is a conversation about being seen, about the strength that lives inside all of us, and about Breda's simple message: be kind, be kind, be kind.
Season 3 of Change Is Possible is proudly supported by ⁠⁠Turas Nua⁠⁠, helping people build skills and take the next steps towards employment, because with the right support, change really is possible. Learn more at ⁠⁠ Turas Nua⁠⁠⁠
Connect with Brian
⬛ Get ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠FREE access to Brian’s online courses⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
⬛ Buy Brian’s memoir, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Bonus Time⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
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Chapters:
0:00 Why Breda called her memoir Unseen
5:36 Growing up seen and not heard
11:51 From a frightening home to a silent convent
18:15 Asking for someone to talk to and being given Valium
22:25 The long road through Valium withdrawal
28:00 Finding the part of her that could never be destroyed
34:11 The day a room of doctors finally listened
40:02 Misdiagnosis and the call to take back control
47:11 Thirty years free of medication, then a new diagnosis
52:07 How suffering led her to her real self and to faith
61:18 Learning she is not alone
68:24 Why kindness matters more than we knowSpotify themes: Trauma and healing, mental health, addiction recovery, resilience, loneliness, faith and spirituality, Irish memoir, being seen and heard, unsee