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418. Changing the Stories We Tell Ourselves with Phil Lane
Could the stories you tell yourself be shaping how you see yourself? Sometimes those stories build us up, but other times, they are just quietly tearing us down. In this episode, Michael talks with Dr. Phil Lane, a licensed clinical social worker and the author of The Narrative Therapy Workbook for Self-Esteem, about how we can start to shift those inner stories in a healthier direction.Phil shares what led him to narrative therapy and why storytelling can be an incredibly powerful tool for healing. He talks about how many of us carry around dominant narratives, which are beliefs about ourselves that sometimes we may not even realize we’ve absorbed. And explains how you can learn to question and rewrite those beliefs, helping us reconnect with who we really are.You'll also benefit from the core techniques behind narrative therapy, like scaffolding and deconstruction, and explore what it’s like to share your personal story in different settings.Listen and Learn: How the power of storytelling in a safe space can transform self-perception and healingChanging the story you've been telling yourself and beginning to see who you truly are, more fully and clearlyUncovering hidden parts of your life story beyond the dominant narrative you've acceptedHow inherited beliefs shape your story and how to consciously rewrite it for yourselfIdentifying faulty beliefs and clarifying your values helps rewrite your personal story for self-acceptanceUnderstanding your past to shape your present story empowers your daily life choicesHow to rebuild your personal story by carefully scaffolding and deconstructing it for true self-accuracyEmbracing curiosity to uncover and challenge the beliefs you’ve always seen as trueHow acceptance and reframing your story can empower you to embrace life's challenges and thriveViewing your life story as multi-genre can bring richer healing and balanceHow narrative therapy reveals deeper meaning beyond surface explanationsWhen and how to share your sacred story meaningfully beyond small talk and surface talkResources: The Narrative Therapy Workbook for Self-Esteem: Rewrite Your Story, Overcome Imposter Syndrome and Feelings of Inadequacy, and Build Lasting Confidence: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781648485312Phil’s Website: https://www.phil-lane.com/You 2.0: Change Your Story, Change Your Life: https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/healing-2-0-change-your-story-change-your-life/Connect with Phil on Social Media:https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100087891174326https://instagram.com/therapist_phil About Phil LanePhil Lane is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, psychotherapist in private practice and author of the books Understanding and Coping with Illness Anxiety, The Narrative Therapy Workbook for Self-Esteem and Overcoming Panic and Panic Attacks. Phil practices and writes from a humanistic point of view with a goal of normalizing and de-stigmatizing commonly experienced problems and challenges. Phil and his family live in the central part of New Jersey where he enjoys gardening, reading, writing, watching baseball, and model railroading. Phil can be found on Instagram at @therapist_phil and online at phil-lane.com. You can also find his author pages on Amazon and Goodreads. Related Episodes239. Edit Your Story, Change Your Life with Lori GottliebSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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417. Busting Trauma Treatment Myths with Emi Nietfeld
The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk has become a go-to book for understanding trauma, but not everyone agrees with its approach. In this episode, journalist and author of Acceptance: A Memoir, Emi Nietfeld joins us to talk about The Body Keeps the Score and how it influenced the world of trauma therapy. Bringing both her personal experience and sharp insight to the table, she enlightens us on trauma treatment and why popular narratives around resilience and recovery often miss the mark, especially when they lean more on storytelling than science.We get into where the book falls short, especially around science and why proven methods like CBT and prolonged exposure therapy deserve more attention. Emi also opens up about how those treatments personally changed her life.It’s an honest look at trauma, what really works, and how we can do better, both personally and as a society.Listen and Learn:Why true resilience isn't about toughness alone but about community, care, and real support systemsHow the mental health system often fails kids by ignoring family dysfunction and why real change starts with seeing the full context, not just labeling the childWhy positive thinking isn't enough for trauma recovery and how validating, supportive therapy makes all the difference when you're ready to speak your truthAvoiding trauma memories in therapy can cause more harm and what effective healing requiresHow popular trauma books like “The Body Keeps the Score” can fuel shameChallenging the "addicted to trauma" label and how oversimplified narratives can stigmatize survivors and ignore systemic causes of violenceHow trauma research can be misrepresented, especially about cognitive behavioral therapy’s real effectivenessUsing structured prolonged exposure therapy to help you safely face trauma and build resilienceWriting a memoir can unearth painful truths, but honest storytelling sparks real healing and self-acceptanceWhy popular trauma books feel like belief systems—and why we need solutions beyond therapyResources: Emi’s Book Acceptance: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593489499 Emi’s website https://www.eminietfeld.com/ and her Substack https://eminietfeld.substack.com/ Connect with Emi on LinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/emi-nietfeld/ and Instagram https://www.instagram.com/eminietfeld/ Mother Jones article: https://www.motherjones.com/media/2024/12/trauma-body-keeps-the-score-van-der-kolk-psychology-therapy-ptsd/ Slate article: https://slate.com/technology/2024/08/sexual-assault-treatment-talk-therapy-prolonged-exposure-recovery.htmlArticle mentioned on trauma theory as a belief system: https://beiner.substack.com/p/the-truth-about-trauma-bessel-vanAbout Emi NietfieldEmi Nietfeld is an author, journalist, and speaker. She is the author of Acceptance (Penguin Press ‘22), a memoir of her journey through foster care and homelessness, interrogating the true meanings of resilience, ambition, and success. After graduating from Harvard in 2015, she worked as a software engineer, an experience she wrote about in her viral New York Times essay, “After Working At Google, I’ll Never Let Myself Love a Job Again.”She’s passionate about mental health, helping young people navigate their careers, and the connection between engineering and creativity. A dynamic, sought-after speaker, she can be found on podcasts, leading conference keynotes, and speaking at universities and companies alike.Her essays have appeared in The New York Times, New York Magazine, The Atlantic, and other publications, been nominated for the Pushcart Prize, noted in The Best American Essays, and taught in classrooms from high schools to MFA programs.Related Episodes: 416. Trauma and PTSD Treatment with Robyn Walser383. What My Bones Know: C-PTSD with Stephanie Foo279. ACT for Healing Black Racial Trauma with Jennifer Shepard Payne 313. ACT-Informed Exposure for Anxiety with Brian Pilecki and Brian Thompson355. What is EMDR with Jamie Marich 77. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy with Jill Stoddard See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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416. Trauma and PTSD Treatment with Robyn Walser
Trauma and PTSD leave a lasting imprint on how we see ourselves and navigate the world, which is why Debbie sits down with returning guest Dr. Robyn Walser for this episode, a clinical psychologist and expert in evidence-based treatment for PTSD, to explore the path to trauma recovery. Robyn unpacks the principles of exposure therapy, the importance of processing traumatic experiences, and insights from her new book, which she co-authored with Darrah Westrup, You Are Not Your Trauma. This conversation offers a deep understanding of PTSD, the wide-ranging effects of trauma, and how healing involves redefining one’s relationship to past events rather than being retraumatized by them. Listen and Learn:Breaking free from trauma’s grip and reconnecting with the deeper, fuller self beyond itWhy understanding the true meaning of trauma matters and how misusing the word can impact healingUnderstanding how trauma, whether single events or complex, can cause avoidance, disrupt life, and impact relationshipsHow trauma’s fear cycle traps you and how changing your relationship to thoughts frees you to live againReclaiming your life by embracing fear and living your values fully through trauma recovery in ACTEmbracing the natural flow of trauma memories helps you process and regain freedomUsing written exposure therapy helps you safely process trauma by revisiting and writing about itHow structured, flexible exposure therapy in Robyn and Darrah’s new book, You Are Not Your Trauma, helps you process trauma and build lasting resilienceResources: Coming Soon—You Are Not Your Trauma: An Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Guide for Healing from Within by Robyn Walser and Darrah Westrup: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781462557899Robyn’s Website: https://robynwalser.com/Connect with Robyn on Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/walser.robyn/https://www.facebook.com/theheartofacthttps://www.linkedin.com/in/robynwalser About Robyn D. WalserRobyn D. Walser, Ph.D., is an internationally recognized clinical psychologist, educator, and author. She is the Director of Trauma and Life Consultation and Psychology Services, Assistant Professor at the University of California, Berkeley, and Director of Research at Bay Area Trauma Recovery Clinical Services. Dr. Walser has contributed significantly to the dissemination of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and holds a pivotal role in implementing ACT in one of the US's largest national healthcare systems. She also works at the National Center for PTSD, where her work focus is on trauma recovery, depression, and moral injury. A writer and scholar, Dr. Walser has co-authored nine influential books on ACT, including the widely respected The Heart of ACT: Developing a Flexible, Process-Based, and Client-Centered Practice Using Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. Her research and clinical expertise have made her a sought-after voice in advancing the application of ACT to address a variety of complex psychological challenges. Since 1997, Dr. Walser has led ACT workshops worldwide, bringing her passion for process-based, experiential learning to therapists and clinicians. Known for her compassionate and client-centered approach, Dr. Walser’s teaching emphasizes the integration of evidence-based practices with human connection and flexibility. Whether through her books, articles, or live training, Dr. Walser continues to influence the evolution of ACT and inspire professionals in their pursuit of effective, transformative therapy. To learn more about her work, visit robynwalser.com.Book: You Are Not Your Trauma: An ACT Guide for Healing from Within by Robyn D. Walser and Darrah WestrupRelated Episodes: 383. What My Bones Know: C-PTSD with Stephanie Foo279. ACT for Healing Black Racial Trauma with Jennifer Shepard Payne 313. ACT-Informed Exposure for Anxiety with Brian Pilecki and Brian Thompson355. What is EMDR with Jamie Marich 77. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy with Jill Stoddard 320. Anger and Forgiveness with Robyn Walser 106. Therapy from “The Heart of ACT” with Robyn Walser98. Narcissism with Avigail Lev and Robyn Walser 49. Empowering Women with Robyn Walser345. Writing for Personal Growth with Maureen Murdock See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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415. Sober Curious with Casey Davidson
If you've been feeling like alcohol just doesn’t fit your life anymore, this conversation with Casey Davidson, a Life and Sobriety Coach, might really speak to you. Casey opens up about her personal journey of becoming alcohol-free, talks you through the benefits and challenges of sobriety, and clears up some common myths along the way.You’ll come away with takeaways about the impact alcohol can have on your mental and physical health, how social norms and marketing can negatively influence drinking habits, and why approaching sobriety with curiosity and self-compassion can make all the difference in your journey. We hope the personal stories combined with practical insights in this episode will be an inspiring and relatable resource for anyone exploring a more mindful relationship with alcohol.Listen and Learn: How Casey broke free from nightly wine, ditched mommy wine culture, and found freedomHow high-functioning people can unknowingly rely on alcohol, and what waking up at 3 AM really meansAlcohol disrupts joy, sleep, and mood. See what changes when you give it up for just 30 daysNavigating sobriety without hitting rock bottom, plus mindset shifts, social fears, and partner dynamicsWhy the term "alcoholic" can be misleading, and how redefining sobriety empowers choiceHow non-alcoholic drinks can fit joyful routines without the triggersThe lasting benefits of 30, 60, and 100 days sober, like better sleep, mood, and self-careWhy trying to moderate drinking often traps you in a craving cycle, and quitting frees your mind and sparks new creativityResources: Casey’s website: Hello Someday Coaching - https://hellosomedaycoaching.com/The Hello Someday Podcast For Sober Curious Women - https://hellosomedaycoaching.com/podcast/ Good Morning America asked Casey how I saved $48,000 by not drinking alcohol!: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EyrfQMv5waU&authuser=0Connect with Casey on Social Media:https://www.linkedin.com/in/caseydavidson/https://www.instagram.com/caseymdavidson/https://facebook.com/hellosomedayAbout Casey McGuire Davidson: Casey McGuire Davidson is a Life & Sobriety Coach and the host of the Top 100 Mental Health Podcast, The Hello Someday Podcast for Sober Curious Women. As an ex-red wine girl who spent 20 years climbing the corporate ladder while holding on tightly to her love of wine, Casey’s passionate about helping busy women stop drinking and create lives they love without alcohol. Her work has been featured on Good Morning America, NPR, HuffPost, The New York Times and NBC News.Related Episodes176. Fair Play with Eve Rodsky202. The Addiction Inoculation with Jess Lahey206. Fair Play Part 2 with Eve Rodsky233. Dopamine Nation with Anna Lembke247. Find Your Unicorn Space with Eve Rodsky286. Not Drinking Tonight with Amanda White316. Understanding Addiction with Judith Grisel402. Harm Reduction for Addiction with Kristin DempseySee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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414. The Disengaged Teen with Rebecca Winthrop and Jenny Anderson
Why do so many kids seem unmotivated at school, and what can we do about it? In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, we’re taking a look at what’s really going on with student engagement, especially during those tricky adolescent years. Our guests, Rebecca Winthrop and Jenny Anderson, co-authors of The Disengaged Teen, join Emily to break it all down. From the four types of learners—the Passenger, Achiever, Resistor, and Explorer—to how we can help kids tap into curiosity and motivation, this conversation is full of eye-opening insights for both parents and educators. They also unpack the pressures of today’s achievement culture, the influence of tech and AI, and most importantly, how parents and teachers can support teens in becoming more confident, engaged learners.Listen and Learn: Why Rebecca Winthrop and Jenny Anderson wrote a game-changing book to fix the student disengagement crisisWhy only 4% of teens feel truly engaged in school, and what you can do to change thatWhat true engagement looks like in your teen How boosting your child’s engagement in learning can improve grades, motivation, and mental healthWhy the “age of achievement” hoop-jumping is harming your child and how to shift toward true agencyHow your child can shift between four learning modes and how you can help them thriveSpotting if your child’s stuck in “passenger mode” and igniting their true learning sparkHow your neurodivergent or struggling child can unlock support and build resilienceHow your well-meaning expectations might be fueling your child’s harmful perfectionismTurning your child’s “resistor mode” into growth by truly understanding and supporting themWhy your child’s curiosity and choices spark real learning skills that grades and rules can’t teachHow your curiosity and relationship with your child can transform their learning mindsetResources: The Disengaged Teen: Helping Kids Learn Better, Feel Better, and Live Better:https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593727072Jenny’s website: https://www.jennywestanderson.org/ Rebecca’s website: https://www.rebeccawinthrop.com/Connect with Rebecca on social media: https://www.instagram.com/drrebeccawinthrop/?hl=enhttps://x.com/rebeccawinthrop?lang=enhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/rebecca-winthrop-b36b0617Connect with Jenny on social media: https://uk.linkedin.com/in/jennyandersonnythttps://x.com/jwestanderson?lang=enhttps://www.instagram.com/jennyandersonwrites/?hl=en About Rebecca Winthrop and Jenny AndersonRebecca Winthrop is a leading global authority on education, the director of the Center for Universal Education at Brookings and an adjunct professor at Georgetown University. She is dedicated to ensuring that every child has the opportunity to thrive in life, work, and as an engaged citizen. She leads cutting-edge research and initiatives aimed at transforming education systems around the world to better support children's learning and development. Rebecca is a trusted advisor to both school communities and national and international organizations. Her expertise is sought by many including parent networks, schools, district education leaders, the White House, the United Nations, and Fortune 500 companies. Rebecca's work is centered on developing and advocating for evidence-based strategies that bring people together—families, educators, policymakers, and companies—to help children maximize their potential. She holds a PhD from Columbia University’s Teachers College, an MA from its School of International and Public Affairs, and a BA from Swarthmore College.Jenny Anderson is an award-winning journalist, author, and speaker with more than 25 years of experience. Her work has appeared in some of the world’s leading publications, including The New York Times, where she was on staff for 10 years, TIME, The Atlantic, the Wall Street Journal and Quartz.Related Episodes:369. Good News About Adolescence with Ellen Galinsky344. Differently Wired Kids with Deborah Reber332. Middle School Superpowers with Phyllis Fagell324. Toxic Achievement Culture with Jennifer Wallace319. Autonomy-Supportive Parenting with Emily Edlynn272. Middle School Matters with Phyllis FagellSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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