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Psychologists Off the Clock

Debbie Sorensen, Jill Stoddard, Yael Schonbrun, Michael Herold & Emily Edlynn
Psychologists Off the Clock
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  • 423. Mindwise with Nicholas Epley
    Think about the times you’ve assumed someone’s behavior revealed exactly what they were thinking. Nicholas Epley, our guest for this episode, explains this as correspondence bias and, through his book Mindwise, teaches us about the concept of correspondence bias and explains how we often believe that a person's actions correspond directly to their mental state. You’ll hear about his research into social cognition and how it reveals that while humans are generally adept at reading others, we frequently overestimate our accuracy. The episode also covers practical experiments on how engaging with strangers can significantly boost our happiness, despite our fears and misconceptions, and the importance of curiosity in overcoming social anxieties and making positive first impressions. Listen and Learn: How our unique “sixth sense” of mind reading, our ability to understand, predict, and connect with others’ invisible thoughts, shapes human connection and survivalWhy our ability to read other people’s minds is far less accurate than we think, and what makes understanding others such a difficult challengeWhy we often overestimate how well we understand those closest to us, and how even long-term partners are not as accurate at reading each other’s thoughts and feelings as they believeWhat drives our brains to form first impressions in an instant, how overconfidence shapes the way we read others, and why moment-to-moment cues like facial expressions play a bigger role in social interactions than we often realize?How can you make a great first impression without overthinking body language or tricks, simply by staying curious and genuinely interested in the person you’re talking to?How correspondence bias makes us assume people’s actions reflect their true thoughts and feelings, why this can lead to misjudgments, and how showing confidence, curiosity, or kindness can positively influence how others respond to youCan striking up a conversation with a stranger boost happiness more than staying to yourself, even though we usually expect the interaction to go badly?Resources: Mindwise: Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780307743565 Nicholas’ website: https://www.nicholasepley.com/About Nicholas EpleyNicholas Epley is the John Templeton Keller Distinguished Service Professor of Behavior Science and Director of the Center for Decision Research at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. He studies social cognition—how thinking people think about other thinking people—to understand why smart people so routinely misunderstand each other. He teaches an ethics and well-being course to MBA students called Designing a Good Life. His research has been featured by the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, CNN, Wired, and National Public Radio, among many others, and has been funded by the National Science Foundation and the Templeton Foundation. He has been awarded the 2008 Theoretical Innovation Award from the Society for Personality and Social Psychology, the 2011 Distinguished Scientific Award for Early Career Contribution to Psychology from the American Psychological Association, the 2015 Book Prize for the Promotion of Social and Personality Science, and the 2018 Career Trajectory Award from the Society for Experimental Social Psychology. Epley was named a "professor to watch" by the Financial Times, one of the "World's Best 40 under 40 Business School Professors" by Poets and Quants, and one of the 100 Most Influential in Business Ethics by Ethisphere. He is the author of Mindwise: How We Understand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want, and of a forthcoming book to be published in the fall of 2026 tentatively titled, Dare to connectRelated Episodes413. Validate with Caroline Fleck393. Supercommunicators with Charles Duhigg374. Developing and Deepening Connections with Adam Dorsay360. The Laws of Connection with David Robson329. The Power of Curiosity with Scott ShigeokaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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  • 421. Defy with Sunita Sah
    Sometimes saying “yes” too much can really take a toll on you. In this episode, Jill chats with Dr. Sunita Sah, a bestselling author and Cornell professor, about her book Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes. They break down how constant compliance can affect your emotions, mind, and body, and share strategies for recognizing when it’s time to push back. Sunita introduces the concept of a ‘Defiance Compass’ to help guide people in acting according to their values. You’ll also learn about the difference between going along with something and truly giving consent, how anxiety can arise in difficult situations, and why practicing small acts of defiance can prepare you for bigger, high-stakes moments. Listen and Learn: How can redefining "defiance" from a negative act of resistance to an alignment with true values help us better understand the balance between compliance, consent, and social pressure?Why is defiance better understood as a staged process on a continuum rather than a simple yes/no choice, and how does recognizing tension help us navigate compliance?Distinguishing between true expert intuition and bias-driven gut feelings when making decisions in uncertain situationsWhy is it so difficult for people to resist compliance and obedience in high-pressure situations, and how can practicing defiance help us prepare to say no and prevent harm?How can we recognize the difference between true consent and mere compliance, and what essential elements are needed to ensure a genuine "yes"?Navigating situations where we technically have the freedom to say no, but psychological pressures like insinuation anxiety or fear of consequences make it difficult to speak upHow do insinuation anxiety and the sales pitch effect interact to increase pressure to comply, even when consent is technically present?Overcoming the tension and fear of non-compliance to act in alignment with our values using tools like the Defiance CompassHow you can practice defiance as a skillResources:Defy: The Power of No in a World That Demands Yes: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780593445778Sunita’s Website: https://www.sunitasah.com/Connect with Sunita on Social Media:https://www.instagram.com/drsunitasahhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/drsunitasah/https://www.tiktok.com/@drsunitasah About Sunita SahDr. Sunita Sah is a national bestselling author, an award-winning professor at Cornell University, and an expert in organizational psychology. She leads groundbreaking research on influence, authority, compliance, and defiance. A trained physician, Dr. Sah practiced medicine in the United Kingdom and worked as a management consultant for the pharmaceutical industry. She currently teaches executives, leaders, and students in healthcare and business.Dr. Sah is also a sought-after international speaker and consultant, an advisor to government agencies, and a former Commissioner of the National Commission on Forensic Science. Her multidisciplinary research and analyses have been widely published in leading academic journals and media outlets, including The New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Harvard Business Review, and Scientific American. She lives with her husband and son in New York.Related Episodes:211. Subtract with Leidy Klotz276. Assertive Communication Skills with Randy Paterson305. The Power of Saying No with Vanessa Patrick311. Nobody’s Fool with Daniel Simons and Christopher Chabris394. Sunlight is the Best Disinfectant with Andrea Dunlop and Mike Weber399. Likable Badass with Alison FragaleSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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  • 420. Emotion-Savvy Parenting with Alissa Jerud
    Parenting often means walking a fine line between setting boundaries and showing warmth, all while managing your own feelings in the process. In this episode of Psychologists Off the Clock, Emily chats with Dr. Alissa Jerud about her book Emotion-Savvy Parenting and how recognizing and working with both your emotions and your child’s can build stronger connections and a calmer home life.Dr. Jerud shares her approach, Emotion Savvy Parenting, which draws from evidence-based methods such as exposure-based treatments and dialectical behavior therapy skills. She breaks down what makes up our emotional experiences, offers tools like the CARE skills for navigating intense situations, and explores topics such as the limits of gentle parenting, why mid-meltdown logic usually falls flat, and how differing parenting styles between caregivers can create challenges.Listen and Learn: How can parents respond skillfully and effectively to their children while managing their own strong and uncomfortable emotions?Combining respectful parenting and evidence-based therapies to help parents manage their own emotions, maintain firm limits, and model emotional regulation for their childrenThe ways parents navigate the gray areas and overlaps between gentle parenting and autonomy-supportive parenting while avoiding the black-and-white thinking often seen on social mediaParents often step in to fix their child’s struggles, but noticing and accepting their emotions and behaviors as they are can help children build resilience and support more effective parentingThe primary and secondary ingredients of emotions, their triggers, how thoughts shape them, and how they show up physically and behaviorally, help parents regulate their own emotions by targeting these different aspects of feelingsQuick, practical ways to manage intense emotions by regulating the body’s physiological responseWhy rigid beliefs that children must always obey can create frustration and disconnect, while accepting their emotions and allowing authentic expression supports both kids’ and parents’ emotional well-beingThe importance of accepting and validating a child’s emotions during emotional storms rather than trying to immediately fix or suppress themRecognizing that each child’s emotional needs are unique, and effective parenting often means staying present and supportive without trying to immediately fix or validate the emotionResources: Alissa’s Website: https://www.alissajerud.com/ Emotion-Savvy Parenting: A Shame-Free Guide to Navigating Emotional Storms and Deepening Connection: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781032544946 Connect with Alissa on Social Media: https://www.instagram.com/emotionsavvydoc/?hl=enhttps://www.facebook.com/emotionsavvydoc/https://www.linkedin.com/in/alissa-jerud-210764174 Emily’s Articles:What’s Wrong with Gentle Parenting? Psychology TodayThe Truth About Parents Who Yell at Their Kids, Psychology TodayAbout Alissa JerudAlissa Jerud, Ph.D. is a mom of two kids, a licensed clinical psychologist, a Clinical Assistant Professor at the University of Pennsylvania, and author of Emotion-Savvy Parenting: A Shame-Free Guide to Navigating Emotional Storms and Deepening Connection. She has a Ph.D. in clinical psychology from the University of Washington and completed her postdoctoral fellowship at the University of Pennsylvania’s Center for the Treatment and Study of Anxiety. In her private practice, Dr. Jerud specializes in exposure-based treatments for anxiety-related disorders, including obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), social anxiety disorder, panic disorder, specific phobias, and generalized anxiety disorder. Additionally, she specializes in Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) skills training and particularly enjoys helping other parents learn research-backed strategies for accepting, regulating, and tolerating their emotions, as well as their children's. Dr. Jerud also trains other clinicians in exposure-based treatments and frequently gives workshops on anxiety, stress, mental health, parenting, and social support to companies large and small.Related Episodes386. Parents Are Stressed: What Do We Do About It? 373. How to Stop Freaking Out with Carla Naumburg344. Differently Wired Kids with Deborah Reber241. Emotion Coaching Skills for Families with Mindy Solomon240. Talking to Kids and Teens About Big Feelings with Adele LaFrance149. How to Not Lose It with Your Kids with Carla Naumburg14. Mindful Parenting9. Children’s Emotions: Understanding and Responding to Your Child’s EmotionsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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  • 419. Break Up on Purpose with John Kim
    If you’re stuck in an unhealthy relationship and wondering whether it’s right for you or you’re recently facing the pain and confusion of a breakup, we invite you to tune into this episode with John Kim, also known as the Angry Therapist, to explore his viewpoint on relationship endings. John lays out how breakups or ‘relationship expirations’ as he coins them, can serve as powerful catalysts to kickstart your own personal growth, and highlights the importance of self-reflection, healthy boundaries, and meaningful connection with yourself and others. Speaking from his own experiences, as well as insights and stories from his latest book, Breakup on Purpose, you’ll hear why John sees breakups as not just painful endings but meaningful rites of passage that can offer space to learn and evolve. Listen and Learn:Breakups, while painful, can be a powerful catalyst for personal growth when approached with reflection and ownershipShifting how we view breakups from failures to “expired relationships” helps us embrace healing and rewrite the narrative around endingsHow to balance knowing when to work through relationship challenges versus when it’s healthy to walk awayWhy breakups are a natural rite of passage and essential for personal growthWhy humility and self-reflection are essential but often difficult steps toward personal growthHealing from a breakup involves embracing the pain with compassion, finding purpose beyond the relationship, and transforming personal loss into growth and a greater meaningful journeyHow society places too much importance on romantic love as the sole source of meaning and fulfillment and elying on one romantic partner to fulfill all needs is unrealistic and sets people up for disappointmentBreakups have distinctive types that require different responses and healing strategiesHow to balance self-comfort with avoiding behaviors that hinder healing after a breakup by setting personal limits and gradually re-engaging with lifeThe importance of meaningful connection, whether through community, close relationships, or personal passions, as a vital part of recovery, especially for introvertsThe cycle of rupture and repair in relationships is essential, teaching us how to build deeper connection, resilience, and emotional safetyResources:John’s Website: https://www.theangrytherapist.com/John’s Books: Break Up On Purpose: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780063275331 Single On Purpose: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780062980731 Connect with John on Socials: https://www.facebook.com/john.kim.1650/https://www.linkedin.com/in/theangrytherapisthttps://www.instagram.com/theangrytherapist/Power of Discord by Ed Tronick and Claudia Gold: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780316488877 Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9780807060100 About John KimJohn Kim, widely known as 'The Angry Therapist.' John is a licensed therapist, engaging speaker, fellow podcaster, and best-selling author whose works include 'It's Not Me, It's You,' 'Single. On Purpose,' and 'I Used to Be a Miserable F*ck.' What makes John's approach unique is how he shares therapeutic wisdom through his blog and Instagram, using authenticity and transparency to connect with and support people on their personal journeys.Related Episodes:117. Bearing Unbearable Loss: A Conversation about Grief with Joanne Cacciatore126. Surviving Break-Ups and Divorce: How to Mend a Broken Heart, with Debbie and Yael186. Set Boundaries Find Peace with Nedra Tawwab249. How to be Single and Happy with Jenny Taitz343. Heartbreak with Florence WilliamsSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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  • 418. Changing the Stories We Tell Ourselves with Phil Lane
    Could the stories you tell yourself be shaping how you see yourself? Sometimes those stories build us up, but other times, they are just quietly tearing us down. In this episode, Michael talks with Dr. Phil Lane, a licensed clinical social worker and the author of The Narrative Therapy Workbook for Self-Esteem, about how we can start to shift those inner stories in a healthier direction.Phil shares what led him to narrative therapy and why storytelling can be an incredibly powerful tool for healing. He talks about how many of us carry around dominant narratives, which are beliefs about ourselves that sometimes we may not even realize we’ve absorbed. And explains how you can learn to question and rewrite those beliefs, helping us reconnect with who we really are.You'll also benefit from the core techniques behind narrative therapy, like scaffolding and deconstruction, and explore what it’s like to share your personal story in different settings.Listen and Learn: How the power of storytelling in a safe space can transform self-perception and healingChanging the story you've been telling yourself and beginning to see who you truly are, more fully and clearlyUncovering hidden parts of your life story beyond the dominant narrative you've acceptedHow inherited beliefs shape your story and how to consciously rewrite it for yourselfIdentifying faulty beliefs and clarifying your values helps rewrite your personal story for self-acceptanceUnderstanding your past to shape your present story empowers your daily life choicesHow to rebuild your personal story by carefully scaffolding and deconstructing it for true self-accuracyEmbracing curiosity to uncover and challenge the beliefs you’ve always seen as trueHow acceptance and reframing your story can empower you to embrace life's challenges and thriveViewing your life story as multi-genre can bring richer healing and balanceHow narrative therapy reveals deeper meaning beyond surface explanationsWhen and how to share your sacred story meaningfully beyond small talk and surface talkResources: The Narrative Therapy Workbook for Self-Esteem: Rewrite Your Story, Overcome Imposter Syndrome and Feelings of Inadequacy, and Build Lasting Confidence: https://bookshop.org/a/30734/9781648485312Phil’s Website: https://www.phil-lane.com/You 2.0: Change Your Story, Change Your Life: https://hiddenbrain.org/podcast/healing-2-0-change-your-story-change-your-life/Connect with Phil on Social Media:https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100087891174326https://instagram.com/therapist_phil About Phil LanePhil Lane is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, psychotherapist in private practice and author of the books Understanding and Coping with Illness Anxiety, The Narrative Therapy Workbook for Self-Esteem and Overcoming Panic and Panic Attacks. Phil practices and writes from a humanistic point of view with a goal of normalizing and de-stigmatizing commonly experienced problems and challenges. Phil and his family live in the central part of New Jersey where he enjoys gardening, reading, writing, watching baseball, and model railroading. Phil can be found on Instagram at @therapist_phil and online at phil-lane.com. You can also find his author pages on Amazon and Goodreads. Related Episodes239. Edit Your Story, Change Your Life with Lori GottliebSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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We are five experts in psychology, bringing you science-backed ideas that can help you flourish in your work, relationships, and health.
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