You Are Not Crazy

• Why They Couldn’t Love You: Understanding Emotional Capacity in Toxic Relationships

  What happens when the person you fought so hard to love turns out to be incapable of loving you back? What do you do with the grief, the self-doubt, and the tidal wave of confusion that follows?In this raw and deeply personal episode, I unpack what it means to love someone with traits of Cluster B personality disorders—specifically, narcissistic and borderline features—and why walking away doesn’t bring immediate peace. I share the story of how my relationship ended, the impossible ultimatum I was given, and the unraveling that came after.We explore:Why you still miss them even though they hurt youThe reality of trauma bonding and emotional addictionWhat it means to be with someone who can imitate love but not sustain itThe devastation of being blamed for everything, including their own behaviorThe disorienting grief that follows when you're mourning the illusion, not the realityWhat healing actually looks like when you finally choose yourselfThis episode is for anyone who left a relationship and still doesn’t understand why it hurts so much. For the person who can’t stop blaming themselves. For the survivor who is starting to realize: it wasn’t you. It was never you.Support the showWebsite: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: [email protected]{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

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• Understanding the Trauma Bond

  We dive into the Trauma Bond: how it forms, why it's so hard to leave, and what recovery really looks like. This isn't just about red flags or textbook definitions. This is about the lived experience—the confusion, the craving for relief, the grief that shows up even when you finally leave.I walk through the invisible hooks that keep survivors attached: intermittent reinforcement, emotional manipulation disguised as love, and the powerful conditioning that teaches us to find safety in what's familiar—even when it hurts. I also share pieces of my own story, including what it felt like to be silenced, blamed, and slowly erased in a relationship that mirrored old wounds I hadn’t yet healed.You’ll hear about:The difference between love and emotional captivityHow trauma bonds are wired into your nervous systemWhy you still miss them even after they hurt youWhat gaslighting does to your sense of selfHow to begin un-gaslighting yourself and rebuild your truthSupport the showWebsite: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: [email protected]{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

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  36:22
• The Outburst That Isn’t About You: Emotional Storms and BPD Traits

  What do you do when the person you love explodes—and it has nothing to do with you, but you’re the one absorbing the damage?In today’s episode, I’m talking about a very specific and disorienting experience: the emotional outbursts that often come from people with traits of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). These episodes are not “just” arguments. They’re dysregulated storms—sudden, intense, and often terrifying—that leave you feeling blamed, spun, and emotionally shredded.I break down what’s actually happening in these moments, why they feel so confusing, and how to begin separating yourself from the chaos. We’ll explore:What BPD-patterned emotional storms really areWhy it feels like you’re being punished for something you didn’t doHow to recognize these moments as trauma responses, not mutual conflictWhat helped me stop spiraling when I was stuck in these cyclesThe difference between compassion and self-sacrificeWhy you’re not crazy for being overwhelmed, and why this isn’t your faultThis episode isn’t about diagnosing anyone. It’s about giving language to what survivors are living through—so you can stop blaming yourself, start validating your reality, and begin choosing peace over chaos.If this resonates, I invite you to check out my full Substack series on Cluster B abuse patterns: https://jessicaknightcoaching.substack.com/Support the showWebsite: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: [email protected]{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

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  11:31
• They're Just Avoiding Accountability

  In this episode, I unpack how abusers flip the script by dredging up unrelated past events, twisting reality, and using guilt as a weapon to derail accountability. If you've ever found yourself defending a mistake from five years ago while trying to talk about how you're hurting now, this episode is for you.You’ll learn:The difference between naming a pattern and playing the blame gameHow false equivalency and DARVO keep survivors stuckWhat a healthy vs. abusive response to feedback actually sounds likeHow to stop wasting your energy defending yourself and start trusting what you knowWhether you're navigating emotional abuse, high-conflict divorce, or just trying to reclaim your clarity, this episode is a grounding reminder that your experiences are real—and you don’t need to explain your pain to someone determined to ignore it.Support the showWebsite: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: [email protected]{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

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• The Cumulative Effect: Why It Wasn’t “Just One Thing”

  I explore one of the most disorienting realities of surviving an emotionally abusive relationship: the way each incident is treated like it exists in isolation—when in reality, it all added up.I share my personal experience of slowly realizing that what felt like “stress” was actually a sustained pattern of emotional harm. I walk through the subtle signs—like anxiety, insomnia, self-doubt, and emotional shutdown—that build up over time and keep survivors stuck in cycles of self-blame and confusion.This episode offers validation for the exhaustion you feel, clarity on how abusers avoid accountability by isolating incidents, and a powerful reminder: if you’re starting to see the pattern, you already have everything you need to begin walking away from it.Support the showWebsite: Emotional Abuse Coach and high-conflictdivorcecoaching.comInstagram: @emotionalabusecoachEmail: [email protected]{Substack} Blog About Recovering from Abuse {E-Book} How to Break Up with a Narcissist{Course} Identify Signs of Abuse and Begin to Heal{Free Resource} Canned Responses for Engaging with an Abusive Partner

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