SHOWMANCE✨

*PART 2 OF 2*🎙️ SHOWMANCE 🎙️Welcome back to Showmance, home of the world famous deep dive!The Valley Season 3 reunion finally crawls across the finish line, and somehow we leave with more questions, fewer answers, and a very strong case for turning the San Fernando Valley into a protected wildlife preserve where none of these people are allowed to film.In Part 2 of our Reunion Part 3 recap, Jasmine explains that she felt ignored when she tried to express concerns last season — only for the reunion to give her approximately four minutes before hustling her offstage like she’d exceeded the free trial. Nothing proves “nobody listens to me” quite like Bravo saying, great point, anyway…Meanwhile, Jesse turns an Erewhon smoothie into a custody investigation, Brittany continues her inexplicably passionate prosecution of Nia, Janet reminds us that being right is apparently a full-time spiritual practice, Luke appears increasingly committed to his new career as The Talent, and Andy Cohen closes this entire forensic nightmare by declaring it a “great reunion.”Sir. Were you there?We break down the final wreckage of The Valley Season 3 Reunion, wonder why Jasmine and Melissa remain supporting characters in a storyline built largely on their backs, contemplate a future where Nia escapes with her dignity intact, and finally ask the question hanging over this entire season:Can we just euthanize the show?#TheValley #TheValleyBravo #Bravo #BravoTV #RealityTV #TheValleyReunionS3 E21 REUNION 3 PART 2

*PART 1 OF 2*🎙️ SHOWMANCE 🎙️Welcome back to Showmance, home of the world famous deep dive!The Valley Season 3 Reunion Part 3 has arrived, and after three reunion episodes, approximately 900 accusations and enough projection to open an IMAX theater, we have somehow learned almost nothing.Danny’s drinking is back on trial, Nia continues to defend her marriage like the only adult who actually read the assignment, and Lala has apparently been appointed court-ordered relationship counselor despite spending an entire season revealing roughly the same amount about her own life as a witness in federal protection.We break down why everyone seems personally offended that Nia won’t divorce her husband on command, why Danny desperately needs to stop treating every camera like an invitation to audition for Worst Version of Himself, Brittany projecting Jax onto other marriages, Jesse and Michelle’s post-divorce autopsy, and a reunion that keeps discovering actual storylines only to leave them abandoned on the side of the road.Then we get into Janet, the conversation that apparently cannot be discussed without first retaining counsel, and why two things can be true at once: something terrible can happen to someone, and you can still have questions about everything else happening around it.It’s The Valley Reunion Part 3: three couches, several unresolved grievances, absolutely no closure, and one season we are finally legally permitted to stop discussing.#TheValley #TheValleyBravo #Bravo #TheValleyReunion #RealityTVS3 E21 REUNION 3 PART 1

*PART 2 OF 2*🎙️ SHOWMANCE 🎙️Welcome back to Showmance, home of the world famous deep dive!Welcome back to The Valley, where Luke Broderick has apparently completed three seasons of reality television and emerged with the confidence of George Clooney and the résumé of a man who owns some undeveloped land.In the second half of our Reunion Part 2 recap, Luke continues his breathtaking campaign to forget that literally every camera pointed at him arrived via Kristen Doute. He’s reluctant about marriage, resistant to therapy, allegedly too important to appear on Watch What Happens Live if Kristen is involved, and meanwhile has discovered golf content, gold chains, a second Instagram account and what appears to be a mild case of Entourage.Sir. Please remember which side of the bread your shit is buttered on.Then we return to the Bukowskis vs. the Caperna household, where Janet somehow manages to extend one inappropriate ass grab into the Warren Commission while finding enough Christmas spirit to welcome Jax Taylor into her home. Danny and Nia once again confront the difference between giving a beautiful apology and actually changing your behavior, Lala reports for another shift as Janet’s volunteer bulldog, and Jasmine finally says what every viewer has been thinking: has anyone on this show ever enjoyed having a child?Because after three seasons of postpartum rage, four-under-four, marital warfare and people blaming every personality defect on parenthood, The Valley may accidentally be the most effective birth control campaign ever produced.Also: apparently we’re not done with Danny’s drinking, because Jasmine’s wedding has entered the chat.God help us. There’s another reunion episode.#TheValleyReunion #Bravo #RealityTV #TheValleyRecap #DannyAndNia #LalaKent #BravoRecapS3 E20 REUNION 2 PART 2

*PART 1 OF 2*🎙️ SHOWMANCE 🎙️Welcome back to Showmance, home of the world famous deep dive!Welcome back to The Valley, where everyone has gathered in formalwear to discuss the same six grievances until one of us dies.In Part 2 of the Season 3 reunion, Jesse and Michelle perform another forensic examination of their marriage, Michelle is bent on Lacey learning that dating Jesse and being financially entangled with Jesse may be two very different subscription tiers, Janet continues her lifelong commitment to peace by stirring shit from a seated position, and Lala clocks in for another shift as the unsolicited public defender of the show's least valuable contributors.We also discuss Schwartz and whether we should crowdfund the resurrection of TomTom, why this cast desperately needs storylines involving literally anything other than sitting in chain restaurants discussing one another, and the increasingly urgent question: does anybody on this show enjoy being around other humans?Because at some point this stopped being escapist television and became a neighborhood HOA meeting with lip filler.Please, Bravo. Give these people jobs. Hobbies. Errands. A pottery class. A minor league softball team. Anything.#TheValley #Bravo #RealityTV #TheValleyRecap #DannyAndNia #LalaKent #BravoRecapS3 E20 REUNION 2 PART 1

*PART 2 OF 2*🎙️ SHOWMANCE 🎙️Welcome back to Showmance, home of the world famous deep dive!Lacey enters The Valley Season 3 Reunion looking like a vision in yellow—and then proceeds to calmly walk Michelle through her own destruction, one receipt at a time.In Part 2, Michelle and Lacey revisit the Yamashiro disaster, the alleged threats, the cease-and-desist and a text-message smoking gun that apparently everyone on the stage had already seen. Michelle keeps denying, Lacey keeps producing receipts, and Jasmine gently informs her that the jury has reviewed the evidence and things are not looking fantastic.It is Lacey’s first official reunion takedown: no screaming, no drink throwing, no theatrical sobbing—just a steady presentation of facts using her indoor voice while Michelle appears increasingly detached from the reality everyone else is currently sharing.Elsewhere, Jesse continues his Crocodile Tear World Tour while using concern for his daughter as another opportunity to needle Michelle. Brittany reveals that she gave Brandon $10,000 to compensate him for the unbearable hardship of helping his girlfriend recover from elective surgery, proving once again that her romantic picker should be confiscated by the state.We also discuss Andy joining the campaign to force Zack into a friendship with Janet, Kristen explaining the difference between genuine growth and a public-relations hostage situation, and the increasingly suspicious possibility that production is attempting to polish Janet up for either another season—or a graceful exit through the employee parking lot and forced relinquishment of her key card.Plus: Nia has four children and therefore did not organize a candlelight vigil for Brittany’s new boobs, Jason remains authentically boring, and Zack continues his transformation from supporting character into the friend everybody deserves.Lacey may not have answered every question, but she did teach a valuable reunion lesson: when someone lies about the text messages, make sure the entire cast has already read them.#TheValleyReunion #Bravo #RealityTV #TheValleyRecap #DannyAndNia #LalaKent #BravoRecapS3 E19 REUNION 1 PART 2