ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast

The sharp words, the slammed drawer, the guilt that follows. If you've ever wondered how you became someone who snaps at the people you love most, this conversation is going to feel very familiar.

On this week's episode of The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Podcast, I'm welcoming back psychotherapist and bestselling author Anna Mathur for a conversation that is honest, warm and full of the kind of insight you don't often get permission to sit with.

Anna is the author of multiple bestselling books and the host of The Therapy Edit podcast, which has reached over four million downloads. She's passionate about taking therapy beyond the consulting room and into the everyday moments where we actually need it most. Her new book, How to Stop Snapping at the People You Love (As Well As the Ones You Don't): A Compassionate Guide to Rage, Regulation and Repair, is out now, and we get into a lot of it here.

Anna and I talk about why snapping isn't a character flaw but a signal, what it's really communicating when everything feels like too much, and how so much of it connects to what we hold inside as women, as ADHD women, as people who were never really taught that anger was allowed. We also talk about hormones, perimenopause, sensory overwhelm, the cheese incident, WhatsApp groups, and why buying calm every day is not a luxury but a necessity.

Do also go back and listen to our previous conversation, which we'll link in the show notes, where we talked about burnout, exhaustion and holding it all together.

In this episode, we cover:

Why snapping and irritability are signals of overwhelm rather than signs of being a bad person

How the good girl conditioning many of us grew up with can turn unexpressed anger inward

Why women with ADHD and neurodivergent women often have a more activated nervous system as a baseline

The connection between perimenopause, hormonal shifts and rising irritability and sensory sensitivity

Why masking all day means the dysregulation has to go somewhere, often home
How circumstantial overwhelm and internal stress create a perfect storm

The unspoken narratives and generational conditioning that keep us holding what isn't ours to hold

Why anger is not the enemy, and what happens when we finally listen to it

The difference between rage and snapping, and why shame makes it harder to process either

Practical ways to create circuit breakers across the day rather than relying on one big reset

Why co-regulation starts with us, and how to buy calm when you have nothing left

Anna's untangling framework from the book, and how to start befriending the anger rather than suppressing it

The importance of finding people and spaces where you can fully unmask

Timestamps:

00:00 - Welcome and introducing Anna Mathur back to the podcast

02:00 - What led Anna to write the book and why snapping shocked her so much

05:00 - The pressure cooker: why it all has to come out somewhere

08:00 - Viewing snapping through a neuro-affirming and hormonal lens

11:00 - How perimenopause amplified sensory sensitivity for Kate and Anna

14:00 - Circumstantial versus internal stress and why both matter

17:00 - The unspoken truths, suppressed emotions and generational conditioning

20:00 - The things we're not saying and how to start listening to that inner voice

24:00 - Rewiring the cognitive narrative that keeps us agreeable at our own expense

27:00 - Late diagnosis, masking and the dysregulation that comes home with us

30:00 - Recognising your personal warning signs before the Richter scale tips

34:00 - The WhatsApp group tipping point and what it's really about

38:00 - How to buy calm: rest, joy, unmasking and snacking on regulation

42:00 - Why co-regulation with our children starts with resourcing ourselves

45:00 - Anna's untangling framework: befriending anger and finding grace in the mess

Links and Resources:

Find my popular ADHD Women's Wellbeing workshops and resources on my website ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠.

Connect with the podcast on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@adhd_womenswellbeing_pod⁠⁠⁠

Get my book, The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Toolkit (also available in ebook and audiobook) ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠

Join the More Yourself membership community ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠

Visit Anna's website: annamathur.com

Connect with Anna on Instagram

Listen to Anna's podcast: The Therapy Edit

Get Anna's book: How to Stop Snapping at the People You Love (As Well As the Ones You Don't)

Listen to Kate's previous conversation with Anna here

Kate Moryoussef is a women's ADHD lifestyle and wellbeing coach and EFT practitioner who helps overwhelmed and unfulfilled newly diagnosed women with ADHD find more calm, balance, hope, health, compassion, creativity, and clarity.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Want to join our first-ever live podcast and Q&A this week? More info here

Have you always been more sensitive than most people you know to rejection, criticism or the feeling that you've fallen short? If that question just landed somewhere deep, this episode is for you.

Today I'm sharing a clip from one of my most popular workshops, "What Is RSD?," as a way of bringing this topic back into focus, because rejection sensitive dysphoria is one of those things that so many of us have felt our entire lives without ever having the language for it.

In this clip, I talk about what Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria actually is, how Dr William Dodson first articulated it, how it shows up physically and emotionally, and why understanding it as a neurological trait rather than a personality flaw changes everything. I also share some practical ways to begin working with RSD rather than against it, including how EFT tapping can help calm the nervous system response in the moment and over time.

The full RSD workshop is available on my website with 10% off ⁠here⁠

In this episode, we cover:

What rejection sensitive dysphoria is and how it was first identified and named

Why RSD shows up as part of the emotional dysregulation profile of ADHD

What RSD can feel like physically, not just emotionally, and why that matters

How RSD shows up across childhood, relationships, work, parenting and social life

Why RSD episodes can feel all-consuming and then end surprisingly quickly

How past social trauma can resurface and amplify RSD triggers later in life

Why keeping your guard up to avoid RSD can become its own form of exhaustion

The self-regulation tools that can help including EFT, DBT, somatic work and breathwork

How lifestyle foundations like sleep, movement and nutrition build resilience against RSD

Why EFT tapping helps calm the amygdala and reduce cortisol in the moment

A simple introduction to tapping and how to use it before, during or after an RSD episode

lookingAre you Looking for further support on ADHD Women's Wellbeing⁠⁠⁠⁠? Check out my workshop library ⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠ or search for any topic on the ⁠⁠⁠Podcast ⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Timestamps:

00:00 - Welcome and introduction to today's More Yourself episode

01:30 - Why RSD is such an important part of understanding ADHD

04:00 - The workshop clip begins: Dr William Dodson's defining question

05:30 - What RSD is and how it shows up emotionally and physically

08:00 - The clear trigger, the mood shift and why episodes can end as suddenly as they start

10:00 - How past social trauma can keep RSD patterns alive

12:00 - How RSD impacts self-esteem, relationships, parenting and career

14:00 - What we can do: self-regulation tools, EFT, DBT and somatic approaches

16:00 - Why brain and gut health matter for RSD resilience

18:00 - Self-talk, journaling and the self-compassion that only you can give yourself

20:00 - EFT tapping explained: the meridian points, cortisol reduction and the amygdala

22:00 - How tapping creates perspective and shifts the threat response

24:00 - Using tapping before a difficult situation to stay regulated

Links and Resources:

Find my popular ADHD Women's Wellbeing workshops and resources on my website ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠.

Follow the podcast on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@adhd_womenswellbeing_pod⁠⁠⁠

Get my book, The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Toolkit (also available in ebook and audiobook) ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠

Join the More Yourself membership community ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠

Get the full What Is RSD? workshop with 10% off here

Kate Moryoussef is a women's ADHD lifestyle and wellbeing coach and EFT practitioner who helps overwhelmed and unfulfilled newly diagnosed women with ADHD find more calm, balance, hope, health, compassion, creativity, and clarity.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Find my popular ADHD Women's Wellbeing workshops and resources on my website ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

So many of us were told for years that our painful periods, flooding cycles, monthly mood crashes and hormonal struggles were just something to push through. This compilation episode is about what's actually been going on hormonally all along.

This week's episode is all about the overlap between ADHD, hormones and women's health — a connection Kate has been talking about since the very beginning of the podcast, and one that is still not being taken seriously enough in clinical practice.

We hear from three conversations. Dr Lotta Borg Skoglund, Associate Professor of Psychiatry and specialist in ADHD and hormonal health, on the link between estrogen and heart health, why perimenopause doesn't follow a straight line, and why so many neurodivergent women are still being told they're too young or not symptomatic enough to be taken seriously.

Dr Liz Murray, doctor, activist and author of Not Just Painful Periods, on her own decade-long road to an endometriosis diagnosis, what coming off the pill without the right information can do, and what she's doing through her charity to change the way the next generation of doctors are trained.

And Laura Federico and Morgan Miller, authors of The Cycle Book, on why cycle tracking is so much more than period data, how it can help us understand RSD, mood, energy and focus across the month, and why reconnecting with our bodies might be one of the most compassionate things we can do for ourselves.

In this episode, we cover:

The link between estrogen, heart health and menopause, and why this is the number one cause of death in post-menopausal women

Why perimenopause doesn't follow a straight line, and why symptoms can start long before periods become irregular

Why neurodivergent women are more likely to experience PMDD, endometriosis, PCOS and severe PMS

How losing estrogen suddenly can significantly raise cardiovascular risk, and why this is so often dismissed

Dr Liz Murray's own endometriosis story, and why being a doctor didn't protect her from a delayed diagnosis

What can happen when women come off the pill without understanding what it may have been masking

Why the conversation GPs need to have with women about the pill is still not happening

What women need to know about the red flag symptoms that warrant further investigation

The overlap between ADHD, hypermobility, connective tissue issues and hormonal conditions

Why cycle tracking is far more than knowing when your period is due

How tracking can help you notice patterns like RSD intensifying in the second half of your cycle

Why reconnecting to your body, even briefly each day, is a genuinely life-changing act

Timestamps:

00:00 - Welcome and introduction to this week's compilation

03:00 - Dr Lotta Borg Skoglund: estrogen, heart health and what women need to know

06:00 - Why cardiovascular risk rises after menopause, and what that means for ADHD women

08:00 - The lifestyle factors that compound risk for neurodivergent women

10:00 - Why perimenopause symptoms can appear while periods are still regular

12:00 - The confusion of fluctuating estrogen levels and what it feels like from the inside

16:00 - Dr Liz Murray: a decade to diagnosis and what went wrong

18:00 - How the pill masked endometriosis and what coming off it without guidance cost her

20:00 - What GPs can do, and the conversations that still aren't happening

22:00 - Red flags that warrant further investigation, and why you don't need to wait

24:00 - The overlap between ADHD, neurodivergence and hormonal conditions

28:00 - What Liz's charity is doing to change how future doctors are trained

31:00 - Laura Federico and Morgan Miller: cycle tracking as a tool for self-understanding

35:00 - Tracking through perimenopause, HRT and changing cycles

37:00 - How cycle data helps you understand mood, energy and RSD across the month

39:00 - Coming back into your body as a radical act of self-compassion

42:00 - Tracking when your cycle isn't regular or predictable

Links and Resources:

Kate Moryoussef is a women's ADHD lifestyle and wellbeing coach and EFT practitioner who helps overwhelmed and unfulfilled newly diagnosed women with ADHD find more calm, balance, hope, health, compassion, creativity, and clarity. Discover my popular ADHD Women's Wellbeing workshops and resources on my website ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠.

Follow the podcast on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠@adhd_womenswellbeing_pod⁠⁠⁠⁠

Get my book, The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Toolkit (also available in ebook and audiobook) ⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠⁠

Join the More Yourself membership community ⁠⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠

Visit Dr Lotta Borg Skoglund's website: ⁠lottaborgskoglund.com⁠

Connect with Dr Lotta Borg Skoglund on ⁠Instagram⁠

Get Dr Lotta Borg Skoglund's book: ⁠Female Hormones and ADHD: The Impact on Brain and Body⁠

Visit Dr Liz Murray's website: ⁠drlizmurray.com⁠

Connect with Dr Liz Murray on ⁠Instagram⁠

Get Dr Liz Murray's book: ⁠Not Just Painful Periods: Endometriosis, Fibroids and Menstrual Health⁠

Visit Laura and Morgan's website: ⁠itslauraandmorgan.com⁠

⁠Get The Cycle Book⁠: An Interactive Step-by-Step Guide to Tracking Hormones and Knowing Your Body

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Looking for further guidance and support on⁠⁠⁠ ADHD Women's Wellbeing⁠⁠⁠? Check out my workshop library ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠ or search for any topic on the ⁠⁠⁠Podcast here⁠⁠⁠.

So many of us arrive at an ADHD diagnosis carrying years of shame, self-criticism and the quiet belief that something is fundamentally wrong with us. This episode is about what starts to shift when we finally have the right information.

Welcome to this week's summer compilation. This one follows the journey from diagnosis to self-acceptance: the barriers so many of us still face in getting taken seriously, the practical tools that can help us quieten the inner critic, and a completely different way of seeing our ADHD traits, not as defects to fix, but as strengths that just need the right context and support.

We hear from three guests across three different conversations. Vicki George, clinical nurse specialist and founder of The ADHD Nurse, on what the DIVA-5 assessment is really meant to be, why ADHD still carries more stigma than almost any other mental health condition, and how to advocate for yourself with a GP even when it feels uncomfortable.

Cynthia Hammer, author of Living with Inattentive ADHD and founder of the Inattentive ADHD Coalition, on how understanding and accepting a diagnosis can bring more happiness even when the symptoms themselves haven't changed, and why replacing negative self-talk requires something to replace it with.

And Hannah Miller, author of The Purpose Pursuit and host of The Purpose Pursuit Podcast, on what limiting beliefs actually are, how self-sabotage shows up for ADHD women, and her four-part framework for taking stock of where you are and finding your way forward.

In this episode, we cover:

What the DIVA-5 assessment is and why it should be a guided conversation, not a form you fill out alone

Why ADHD diagnosis still carries more stigma than most other mental health conditions, and how unhelpful media headlines keep feeding that

Why a GP cannot refuse to refer you for an ADHD assessment, and how to keep the appointment focused on that goal

The challenges of titration and why finding the right medication is rarely a quick or straightforward process

How understanding and accepting a diagnosis brought more happiness to the women Cynthia interviewed, even when their symptoms hadn't changed

Why you can't simply get rid of a negative thought without replacing it with something else, and what that can look like in practice

Why earlier diagnosis matters so much, and why girls with inattentive ADHD are still so frequently missed

Hannah's four-part framework: taking stock, naming your strengths, identifying limiting behaviours and clarifying your values

Why our traits are not defects, and how Clifton Strengths can help neurodivergent women begin to see themselves differently

Why we don't have to be everything, and how leaning on others' strengths is part of thriving, not failing

Timestamps:

00:00 - Welcome and introduction to this week's compilation

03:00 - Vicki George: what the DIVA-5 assessment is and why it matters

06:00 - Why the person being assessed is always believed over a parent or observer

08:00 - Why ADHD still carries more stigma than other mental health conditions

10:30 - How to advocate for yourself with a GP and what they can and can't do

13:00 - Titration, medication and why the process is so rarely straightforward

18:00 - Cynthia Hammer: how diagnosis brings happiness even when symptoms remain

21:00 - Interrupting negative self-talk and why replacement matters

24:00 - Why girls with inattentive ADHD are still being missed by standard tools

27:00 - Why whole-family screening matters when one person is diagnosed

30:00 - Hannah Miller: what happens when diagnosis collides with limiting beliefs

33:00 - The four-part framework: taking stock, strengths, limiting behaviors, values

36:00 - Why traits we've labelled as flaws can become our greatest strengths

39:00 - Clifton Strengths and why it works well for neurodivergent women

42:00 - We don't have to be everything, we just have to be good at something

Links and Resources:

Find my popular ADHD Women's Wellbeing workshops and resources on my website ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠.

Follow the podcast on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@adhd_womenswellbeing_pod⁠⁠⁠

Get my book, The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Toolkit (also available in e-book and audiobook) ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠

Join the More Yourself membership community ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠

Visit Vicki George's website: theadhdnurse.co.uk

Connect with Vicki George on Instagram

Visit Cynthia Hammer's website: iadhd.org

Connect with Cynthia Hammer on Instagram

Get Cynthia Hammer's book: Living with Inattentive ADHD: Climbing the Circular Staircase of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder

Visit Cynthia's advocacy project: findtheadhdgirls.org

Visit Hannah Miller's website: hellosidekick.co

Connect with Hannah Miller on Instagram

Get Hannah Miller's book: The Purpose Pursuit

Listen to Hannah's podcast: The Purpose Pursuit Podcast

Kate Moryoussef is a women's ADHD lifestyle and wellbeing coach and EFT practitioner who helps overwhelmed and unfulfilled newly diagnosed women with ADHD find more calm, balance, hope, health, compassion, creativity, and clarity.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Looking for further guidance and support on⁠⁠⁠ ADHD Women's Wellbeing⁠⁠⁠? Check out my workshop library ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠ or search for any topic on the ⁠⁠⁠Podcast here⁠⁠⁠.

If you've ever tried an ADHD productivity hack, felt briefly hopeful, and then quietly gone back to exactly how you were before, this episode is for you.

Welcome to this week's summer compilation. This one is all about redefining what productivity actually means for ADHD brains, and letting go of the neurotypical advice that was never designed for the way our minds work.

We hear from four guests across four different conversations. Ari Tuckman on why productivity isn't about doing more, but about creating a life that has more meaning and breathing room in it. Dr Jacob Santhouse on automaticity, why everyday tasks like filling in a form are so much more mentally exhausting for neurodivergent brains, and why that is not a character flaw. Sonia Ponzo on the paralysis state, interoception, and why ADHD brains so often struggle to read what their body actually needs in any given moment. Dr Claire Plumbly on the three states of the nervous system, what it means to get stuck in fight or flight, and how burnout can build so slowly we almost don't notice it. And Laura Willis on digital overload, the default mode network, and why a real rest is not the same as switching from emails to scrolling.

In this episode, we cover:

Why quick-fix productivity hacks rarely work for ADHD brains, and what to aim for instead

How genuine productivity creates meaning and more time for the things that matter, rather than just getting more done

What automaticity is and why struggling with everyday admin tasks is a neurological difference, not a personal failing

Why form-filling, reading and life admin can deplete an ADHD brain so much faster than people realise

What the paralysis state is and why knowing what to do is not the same as being able to start

What interoception is and why ADHD brains often misread what they actually need, leading to cycles of shame and self-blame

The autonomic nervous system explained: green, amber and red, and why so many of us get stuck oscillating between the last two

How burnout can build quietly over time rather than arriving all at once

Why scrolling on your phone during a break is not actually a break, and what the default mode network needs instead

Practical, sustainable ways to create boundaries around technology that protect your energy and your headspace

Timestamps:

00:00 - Welcome and introduction to this week's summer compilation

03:00 - Ari Tuckman: why productivity hacks rarely work for ADHD brains

05:30 - What real productivity looks like: meaning, not just output

08:00 - The importance of immediate rewards over vague long-term goals

10:00 - Sleep, nutrition, movement and flexible routine as the actual foundations

13:00 - Kate and Ari on the ADHD brain's contradictions and daily recalibrations

16:00 - Dr Jacob Santhouse: what automaticity is and why it matters

19:00 - How automaticity affects working memory and executive function

21:30 - Why form-filling is exhausting, and what to do about it

24:00 - Playing to your strengths and letting go of the guilt

27:00 - Sonia Ponzo: the paralysis state and why you can't always start

31:00 - What interoception is and why ADHD brains struggle with it

35:00 - The cycle of self-shame when we misread what our body needs

37:00 - Practical ways to start training interoception

41:00 - Dr Claire Plumbly: the autonomic nervous system explained

44:00 - Green, amber and red: rest and digest, fight or flight, and shutdown

48:00 - What it looks and feels like to get stuck in amber or red

51:00 - Kate on losing access to contentment and compassion during burnout

53:00 - Laura Willis: why scrolling is not a rest

55:00 - The default mode network and what a real mental break actually does

57:00 - Practical boundaries: phones out of reach, batch working and scheduled screen time

Links and Resources:

Find my popular ADHD Women's Wellbeing workshops and resources on my website ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠.

Connect with the podcast on Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠@adhd_womenswellbeing_pod⁠⁠⁠

Get my book, The ADHD Women's Wellbeing Toolkit (also available in ebook and audiobook) ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠⁠

Join the More Yourself membership community ⁠⁠⁠here⁠⁠

Visit Dr Ari Tuckman's website: drarituckman.com

Connect with Dr Ari Tuckman on Instagram

Get Dr Ari Tuckman's book: The ADHD Productivity Manual

Connect with Dr Jacob Santhouse on Instagram

Get Dr Jacob Santhouse's book: Dyslexia Explained: Your Toolkit to Understanding and Thriving

Visit Sonia Ponzo's website: outsetwellness.com

Connect with Sonia Ponzo on Instagram

Visit Dr Claire Plumbly's website: drclaireplumbly.com

Get Dr Claire Plumbly's book: Burnout: How to Manage Your Nervous System Before It Manages You

Connect with Dr Claire Plumbly on Instagram

Visit Laura Willis's website: laura-willis.com

Kate Moryoussef is a women's ADHD lifestyle and wellbeing coach and EFT practitioner who helps overwhelmed and unfulfilled newly diagnosed women with ADHD find more calm, balance, hope, health, compassion, creativity, and clarity.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices