The Divorce Course Podcast

🎧 Listen to this episode if…
You've been told "add-backs are dead" by your lawyer or your ex
Your ex is wasting the property pool and you don't know how to stop it
You've watched assets disappear since separation bank accounts, cars, super
You're heading into mediation and need to know what to argue
You want to understand what  the Shinohara & Shinohara Case and Shamon & Sharon Case actually mean for your case
You're worried about delay tactics while your ex quietly drains the joint money
⚠️ Legal Disclaimer
This podcast is general information only – it is not legal advice. The content reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your specific situation or jurisdiction. Always consult a qualified family lawyer about your individual circumstances. Laws may have changed since this episode was recorded.
Episode Summary
You may have heard the rumour – "add-backs are dead." Lawyers are quoting it, ex-partners are using it as an excuse, and people are panicking that there's nothing they can do when the property pool is being drained. In this episode, Laura and Mum unpack what add-backs actually are, why people think they've disappeared, and what the courts are really doing about wastage now.
The short answer? Add-backs aren't on the balance sheet anymore  but wastage is absolutely still considered. Thanks to Shinohara & Shinohara [2025], the courts have stopped putting "imaginary money" into the property pool. But thanks to Section 79(5)(d) of the Family Law Act and the case of Shamon & Shamon [2025], wastage now adjusts the percentage split of what's left – and in Shamon, that meant the wife walked away with nearly 100% of the property pool plus costs.
Mum walks through what counts as wastage (selling assets cheap, gambling, blowing money post-separation, gifting funds to a new partner), what doesn't (post-separation income spent on living, ordinary marital spending), and how to protect the property pool before your ex empties it. She also explains exactly what to consider saying if a lawyer or mediator quotes Shinohara at you including the section number, the case names, and the strategy that works.
If you suspect your ex is wasting money or stalling property settlement, this is the episode to listen to before you do anything else.
⏱️ Episode Timeline
00:00 – Are Add-Backs Dead? The Property Pool Myth Going Around
01:00 – Legal Disclaimer & Australian Family Law Context
01:30 – What Is an Add-Back in Property Settlement?
03:15 – The Townsend Case: How Add-Backs Used to Work
04:25 – Property Pool vs Balance Sheet: What's the Difference?
05:25 – The 4 Steps of Property Settlement Explained
05:50 – Why People Think Add-Backs Are Dead: Shinohara Explained
07:15 – "Don't Put Pretend Money on the Balance Sheet"
07:55 – The Real Risk: Ex Spending Everything Before Settlement
08:45 – How Wastage Is Handled Now: Section 79(5)(d)
10:00 – Percentage Adjustments Instead of Balance Sheet Add-Backs
11:30 – The Shamon Case: Wife Got Nearly 100% Plus Costs
13:50 – What to Do If Your Ex Has Already Drained the Pool
14:30 – How to Protect the Property Pool: Caveats Explained
17:00 – Protecting Joint Bank Accounts and Cash
17:50 – Superannuation, Cars and Other Assets
19:50 – Arguing Wastage in Mediation (Not Court)
21:00 – How to Respectfully Tell Your Lawyer They're Wrong
24:30 – Free Webinar Reminder
24:40 – What to Write to Your Ex Before Settlement
26:25 – What Counts as Wastage: Kowaliw, Gambling & More
27:30 – Is Drinking and Drug Use Considered Wastage?
28:15 – Gifts to a New Partner: The Gollings & Scott Case
29:30 – Reckless Spending vs Ordinary Spending
30:15 – Bad Business Decisions Post-Separation
31:10 – So Are Add-Backs Dead? The Final Answer
32:30 – What Evidence You Need to Prove Wastage
33:50 – The Mechanism Has Changed, the Outcome Hasn't
34:25 – Your Toolkit: Section 79(5)(d) of the Family Law Act, Shamon, Townsend, Weir
35:30 – Why Acting Fast Matters in Financial Abuse
36:55 – Reviewer of the Month: Manal from Australia
38:30 – Final Thoughts: Wastage Rules
 
🎧 Episodes Mentioned in This Episode
1. Equalisation of Super: The Myth That Won't Die
https://youtu.be/YFkOnEsNybw?si=LAQd2SUq_YRVl9Ts
3. The Gilded Cage: Delay Tactics in Property Settlement
https://youtu.be/cs6-jHDt-Qk?si=ufuSLLwVmasbQKsL
4. Financial Abuse and Hidden Assets
https://youtu.be/D3-fV8C4gkM?si=JQMk6eqMXWUktsUf
📚 Links & Resources
📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 (24/7 support)
📞 Lifeline — 13 11 14
🚓 Police — 000 (immediate danger)
🌐 The Divorce Course — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au
🎓 The Divorce Course Podcast — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog
🎟️ Free Webinar — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au (click "Reserve My Seat")
Cases Mentioned
Shinohara & Shinohara [2025] — the case people are misreading  https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC1A/2025/126.html
Shamon & Shamon [2025] — https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC1A/2025/150.html
Townsend & Townsend — the original add-back case (the taxi)
Weir & Weir — the quarry / missing gravel case
Kowaliw & Kowaliw [1981] — the trashed family home case
Gollings & Scott — the engagement ring / post-separation income case
Legislation
Family Law Act 1975 — Section 79(4), Section 79(5)(d) — https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s79.html
Family Law Act 1975 — Section 90SM (de facto equivalent)
If this episode helped you understand wastage and feel ready to push back when someone says "add-backs are dead," please follow, rate, review, and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others going through the same thing can find this information too.
All our best,
Laura & Lyn
Your Guides By Your Side
Co-Hosts of THE DIVORCE COURSE PODCAST

🎧 Listen to this episode if:
You want to understand if domestic violence can affect your property or parenting outcome

You've been told by a lawyer to "leave the family violence out" of your case

You're scared raising coercive control or domestic violence will backfire on you in mediation

You're confused by social media saying the courts ignore family violence

Your ex is still using coercive behaviour even after separation

You're heading into mediation or court and don't know how to bring it up

 
⚠️ Legal Disclaimer & Family Violence Trigger Warning
This episode contains discussion of family violence, coercive control, post-separation abuse, and the impact of these behaviours on children, which may be distressing for some listeners.
If you are unsafe or experiencing family violence, please reach out for support.
Support is available in Australia: 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732   📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14   🚨 In an emergency, call 000
This podcast provides general educational information about Australian family law only and is not legal advice. Laura is not a lawyer. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance tailored to your circumstances. 
Episode Summary
Should you bring up coercive control and domestic violence in your family law case… or will it backfire?
If you've been online lately, you've probably seen wildly different opinions. Some people insist the courts ignore family violence completely. Others say the system is finally taking it seriously. And then there are the lawyers quietly telling clients to "just leave it out so we can settle." So who's right?
In this episode, Mum and I unpack how coercive control and domestic violence are actually treated in Australian family law right now and the recent appeal cases that show the courts are starting to listen. We walk through real 2023 and 2024 decisions including Burnell & Rockford, Lainhart & Elinson, Dejani & Dejani, and Sad & Raymond cases your lawyer may not have caught up with yet.
We talk about Section 4AB, Section 75, and Section 79 of the Family Law Act, why mediators sometimes forget you're still being coercively controlled while sitting across from your ex, and the very real "peace at any price" trap that costs people thousands in their settlement.
If you've been silenced, dismissed, or told it's not worth raising  this episode is for you.
⏱️ Episode Timeline
00:00  –  Coercive Control & Domestic Violence in Family Court: Should You Raise It?
01:00  –  Meet Laura & Lynette: Family Law Mum & Daughter Duo
02:00  –  Trigger Warning & Legal Disclaimer (Australia & Overseas)
03:00  –  Why Social Media Gets Coercive Control So Wrong
04:00  –  Why Lawyers Tell Clients to Leave It Out (And Why It's Wrong)
05:00  –  Judge Best's Powerful Speech: "Soften Your Gaze"
06:00  –  Why Both Parents Having Issues Doesn't Mean Equal Blame
07:00  –  Section 4AB: The Family Violence Definition That Changed Everything
09:00  –  Why Courts Now MUST Consider Family Violence Allegations
10:00  –  The Old Kennon Case vs The New Law: What Changed
11:00  –  Choosing the Right Lawyer When Domestic Violence Is Involved
12:00  –  "Don't Raise It Or You Won't Settle" — The Lawyer Myth
13:00  –  When NOT to Mention Family Violence in Property Mediation
14:00  –  The Smarter Way to Negotiate Coercive Control in Mediation
16:00  –  Parenting Cases: Why You MUST Raise Family Violence
17:00  –  Lainhart & Elinson 2023: The Appeal Case Every Mum Should Know
18:00  –  Section 60CC: Safety of Children Now Comes First
19:00  –  Why Parents Don't Tell Lawyers the Full Truth (And Why You Must)
20:00  –  Coercive Control in Parenting Cases Explained
21:00  –  Counselling Orders: When the Court Mistakes Lip Service for Change
23:00  –  False Alienation Claims: The New Coercive Control Tactic
24:00  –  50/50 Is No Longer the Default — Here's What Replaced It
26:00  –  Free Divorce Webinar With Lynette (Family Law Specialist)
27:00  –  Property Settlement: How Domestic Violence Affects Your Percentage
28:00  –  Kennon & Kennon: The Original Family Violence Property Case
30:00  –  Dejani & Dejani: When a Child's Health Issue Was Hidden
32:00  –  Burnell & Rockford 2024: Coercive Control in Property Settlement
34:00  –  Financial Abuse and PIN Numbers: What the Court Decided
35:00  –  Why You Need These Cases at Your Mediation
37:00  –  How Lawyers Use Cases as Negotiation Leverage
38:00  –  Section 79 & Notice of Risk: The Mediation Framework
40:00  –  Adding Percentage in Mediation Without Saying Why
41:00  –  Why You Must Disclose Family Violence in Parenting Negotiations
43:00  –  Settlement vs Court: The 10 Questions You Should Ask Yourself
44:00  –  Why Mediators Forget You're Still Being Controlled
45:00  –  How to Prove Coercive Control: Affidavits That Stand Up
47:00  –  The Biggest Mistake: Peace at Any Price Mentality
48:00  –  Why Post-Separation Abuse Often Gets Worse
49:00  –  Don't Compromise on Children — Stand Your Ground
50:00  –  Final Thoughts: It's Their Shame, Not Yours
🎧 Episodes Mentioned in This Episode
1. How to Put Coercive Control Into Writing for Court
https://youtu.be/SIyXCGXH5nw?si=-7tLxmBpVQb2dNOv
2. Is It Family Violence? A Walk Through the Family Law Act
https://youtu.be/YCddFx9cs_Y?si=DbJU6ePYSxDZFrEn
3. Settling vs Going to Court: 10 Questions to Ask Yourself
https://youtu.be/gYpW3znoY28?si=pdg6wWbjMWttMH94
 
📚 Cases Mentioned (Take These to Your Lawyer)
Burnell & Rockford (2024) — Coercive control and financial abuse in property settlement https://austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC2F/2024/468.html

Lainhart & Elinson (2023) — Full Court appeal, Deputy Chief Justice McClelland — family violence in parenting https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC1A/2023/200.html

Dajani & Dajani [2025] FedCFamC1A 28 (26 February 2025) — Hidden health issues in children and the impact on contributions https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC1A/2025/28.html

Sayed & Rehmann [2025] FedCFamC1A 145 (21 August 2025) — Family violence and property contributions https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/cases/cth/FedCFamC1A/2025/145.html

Kennon & Kennon — The original family violence and property settlement case (Section 75)

📰 Resources Mentioned
Article: "Judge urges profession to soften your gaze when dealing with domestic and family violence" — QLS Proctor, 27 March 2024 (Federal Circuit & Family Court Judge Hannah Cara Best) https://www.qlsproctor.com.au/2026/03/judge-urges-profession-to-soften-your-gaze-when-dealing-with-dfv/
Family Law Act 1975 — Sections 4AB, 60CC, 75, 79 https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s4ab.html
🆘 Links & Resources
1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 (24/7 family violence support)

Lifeline – 13 11 14

Emergency – 000

The Divorce Course – www.thedivorcecourse.com.au

Free Webinar with Lynette (family law accredited specialist) — register at thedivorcecourse.com.au

If this episode helped you feel braver about raising coercive control and domestic violence in your family law matter, please follow, rate, review, and share the podcast  it helps other people in coercively controlling situations find this information too. You are not alone, and you don't have to stay silent.

🎧 Listen to this episode if:
You're about to go through property settlement in divorce

You're focused on the percentage but unsure what it actually means

You're dealing with complex finances (trusts, companies, super, shares) or Simple Property Settlement

You want to avoid making a financial mistake that costs you years

You're wondering whether to take the house, cash, super or investments

 
⚖️ Legal Disclaimer & ⚠️ Family Violence Trigger Warning
This episode contains discussion of family violence, coercive control, and financial control, which may be distressing for some listeners.
If you are unsafe or need support:
📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732
📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14
🚨 In an emergency, call 000
This podcast provides general educational information only and is not legal or financial advice. Please seek professional guidance tailored to your situation.
Most people going through property settlement are focused on one thing…
👉 What percentage am I going to get?
But here's what most people don't realise…
Two people can walk away with the same 50/50 split  and end up in completely different financial positions.
Because it's not just about the percentage…
👉 it's about what that percentage actually looks like in your life.
In this episode, Mum and I sit down with financial planner Pedro Marin and break down the four key steps a financial planner takes during property settlement so you can avoid costly mistakes and actually set yourself up for your future.
We talk about everything from figuring out what's in your property pool, to deciding how to structure your settlement, to planning your future and finally, making sure everything is actually set up properly after the deal is done.
Because getting a settlement is one thing…
👉 making it work for your life is another.
⏱️ Episode Timeline
00:00 – Divorce Property Settlement: It's Not Just the Percentage
01:22 – Meet Financial Planner Pedro Marin
04:04 – Why Financial Planning Matters in Divorce
08:01 – Step 1: Mapping Your Property Pool in Divorce
10:46 – Trusts & Companies in Divorce Explained
12:46 – Step 2: How to Structure Your Property Settlement
15:41 – Cash vs Property vs Super vs Shares in Divorce
23:20 – Step 3: Planning Your Financial Future After Divorce
24:48 – Financial Advice Risks: What You Need to Know
25:32 – Setting Financial Goals After Separation
28:58 – When to Start Financial Planning in Divorce
32:41 – Using the Same Financial Planner as Your Ex
34:52 – Budgeting for Mediation & Property Settlement
37:30 – Step 4: Implementing Your Divorce Settlement
40:20 – Insurance, Risk & Protection After Divorce
43:49 – Wills, Estate Planning & Protecting Your Children
47:25 – Biggest Mistake: Emotional Decisions in Divorce
49:35 – How to Work With a Financial Planner (Pedro Marin)
51:19 – Final Takeaways & Legal Disclaimer
🎧 Additional Episodes Mentioned
Weapons of Tax Destruction https://youtu.be/tsDlMphLRWk?si=1Fbpw7XJy9jxCK20

Living Arrangements: Should You Keep or Sell the House? https://youtu.be/wknV5CB90yY?si=HGwH5m1AtXba5k7G

 
🔗 Links & Resources
🌐 Marin Wealth: https://marinwealth.com.au/

📥 Free Checklists: https://thedivorcecourse.com.au

1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732

Lifeline – 13 11 14

If this episode helped you think differently about your property settlement, make sure you follow, rate, review, and share the podcast — because someone else out there needs to hear this before they make a costly mistake.

🎧 Listen to this episode if:
You're arguing over furniture or household items in divorce

Your ex has taken everything or won't give anything back

You've been told "you can't take anything if you leave"

You want to avoid wasting money on legal fees over small items

You're trying to work out what's actually fair vs worth fighting for

Legal Disclaimer & Family Violence Trigger Warning
This episode contains discussion of family violence, coercive control, and separation dynamics, which may be distressing for some listeners.
If you are unsafe, do not attempt to retrieve belongings alone.
This podcast provides general educational information only and is not legal advice. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance tailored to your circumstances.
What happens to all the "stuff" when you separate?
Everyone talks about the house, the bank accounts, and the kids… but no one really talks about the furniture, the appliances, the artwork  and yes, even the toilet brush.
In this episode, Mum and I unpack what actually happens to household contents in a property settlement, and why these seemingly small things can end up causing some of the biggest fights.
We break down what the law really says (and what it doesn't say), whether it matters who paid for something, and why arguing over furniture can end up costing you far more in legal fees than the item is even worth.
We also walk through four practical ways to divide furniture based on your ex's personality type whether they're amicable, avoidant, high conflict, or controlling so you can sort it out without derailing your entire settlement.
⏱️ Episode Timeline
00:00 – Furniture in Divorce: Common Myths You Need to Know
01:40 – Safety, Legal Disclaimer & Family Violence Warning
02:36 – What the Law Says About Furniture in Divorce
03:03 – Who Owns Furniture After Separation?
07:02 – Divorce and Possession: Who Keeps What?
07:41 – Myth: Do You Lose Furniture If You Leave the House?
09:45 – Cost vs Value: Is Furniture Worth Fighting Over?
11:32 – Emotional Furniture Fights in Divorce Explained
13:58 – Amicable Divorce: The Two List Method (Simple Solution)
16:24 – Avoidant Ex: How to Pack, Send & Move Their Stuff
18:54 – Shed Disputes & When to Get Legal Advice
20:54 – Free Divorce Resources You Can Use
21:43 – When to Move Out During Divorce (Timing Matters)
22:41 – High Conflict Divorce: Should You Sell Everything?
24:50 – Valuing Furniture in Divorce Negotiations
27:55 – Biggest Mistakes People Make With Furniture
31:11 – Don't Let Furniture Ruin Your Property Settlement
34:03 – Mindset Shift: It's Not About the Stuff
35:30 – Fresh Start After Divorce: Letting Go
39:47 – Final Takeaways: Fairness & Moving Forward
🎧 Additional Episodes Mentioned
What About Their Stuff and Belongings?
(Referenced when discussing how to handle an ex leaving items behind or refusing to collect them) https://youtu.be/T_tQUbhBxbQ?si=kt1ChMF08dquxgkr

 
 Links & Resources
1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732

Lifeline – 13 11 14

 
If this episode helped you rethink how to approach the "stuff" in your separation, make sure you follow, rate, review, and share the podcast so others can avoid getting stuck in the same fights.

🎧 Listen to this episode if:
You or your ex has a serious illness or disability

You've been a carer during the relationship

You have ongoing medical expenses

You're worried about future financial support after separation

You want to understand how courts assess health in property settlement

⚖️ Legal Disclaimer
This podcast is for educational purposes only and provides general information about Australian family law. It is not legal advice. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance for your circumstances.
 
 
What happens in a property settlement when serious illness is part of the story?
In this episode, Mum (a family law specialist and family lawyer) and I unpack one of the most emotional and often misunderstood areas of family law: how health issues, illness, and medical needs may impact your property settlement percentage.
Because when you're going through separation, you're not just dividing assets…
You're also dealing with uncertainty, fear, ongoing treatment, and the reality of what life will look like moving forward.
We talk about what happens if:
you cared for a sick partner for years

you are the one who is unwell

there are ongoing medical expenses

or even if someone has a life-limiting illness

We break down how the court looks at contributions vs future needs, why simply saying "I'm unwell" isn't enough, and how these factors can actually shift the percentages in your property settlement.
If illness has played a role in your relationship on either side this episode will help you understand how the law approaches it, and what it might mean for you.
⏱️ Episode Timeline - Health and Divorce: How Illness May Affect Property Settlement Percentage
00:00 – Illness and Divorce: How Health Impacts Property Settlement
00:22 – Why Health Changes Everything in Divorce Outcomes
01:32 – Meet the Hosts & Divorce Episode Overview
01:57 – Real Story: Endometriosis and Divorce Costs
03:07 – Divorce Property Settlement Explained (Step-by-Step)
04:38 – Caring for a Sick Partner in Divorce: Does It Count?
07:43 – What If You're the Sick Partner in Divorce?
09:46 – Divorce and Spousal Maintenance: Your Options
11:37 – Life Expectancy & Divorce Future Needs Explained
15:47 – Medical Expenses, Kids & Divorce (NDIS Explained)
19:12 – Proving Medical Needs in Divorce Settlements
21:00 – Short-Term vs Long-Term Illness in Divorce
21:41 – Temporary vs Chronic Illness in Divorce Cases
23:34 – Open-Ended Spousal Maintenance in Divorce
24:46 – Remission, Recovery & Divorce Medical Evidence
27:43 – How to Prove Illness in Divorce Court
30:18 – Divorce Surveillance, Fraud Claims & Mental Health
32:48 – When Both Parties Are Sick in Divorce
33:34 – Financial Obligations After Divorce Separation
35:19 – Divorce Agreements: Risks You Need to Know
37:20 – Rapid Fire Divorce Questions About Illness
39:07 – Divorce Mediation Tips When Illness Is Involved
40:46 – The Emotional Reality of Illness in Divorce
42:15 – Final Thoughts: Advocating for Yourself in Divorce
 
🎧 Episodes Mentioned in This Episode
1️⃣ Consent Orders vs Binding Financial Agreements - https://open.spotify.com/episode/5qgGhdAl5UaOo7LHb2Yf5Y?si=OFf8umvVQ7KAbzntw6AnVg
2️⃣ The Divorce Course (Program / Course Reference) www.thedivorcecourse.com.au
 
 
⚠️ Family Violence & Sensitive Content
This episode discusses illness, vulnerability, and complex family dynamics, which may be distressing for some listeners.
If you need support in Australia:
📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732
📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14
🚨 In an emergency, call 000
 
 
⚖️ Legal Disclaimer
This podcast is for educational purposes only and provides general information about Australian family law. It is not legal advice. Every situation is different, and you should seek independent professional guidance for your circumstances.
 
 
If this episode helped you better understand how health can impact your divorce, please make sure to follow, rate, review, and share the podcast it helps others going through the same thing find this information too.