The Divorce Course Podcast

🎧 Listen to this episode if…
You feel overwhelmed and don't know what the steps of the divorce process are

You're separated (or thinking about separating) and want clarity on what happens next

You're stuck in negotiations or dealing with a stonewalling, avoidant or controlling ex

You want to understand mediation, arbitration, court filings, interim hearings and trials

You're self-represented and need a clear, realistic roadmap of the family law process

You want to feel calmer, in control, and informed about the journey ahead

You're already in the court system and want to know what the upcoming stages really mean

You want to avoid panic, surprises and fear of the unknown

If you're going through separation, divorce or a parenting/property dispute in Australia, this episode will walk you through every major step in the family law process  from the moment of separation all the way to a final hearing.
No jargon. No fear. No overwhelm. Just a clear explanation of what you may face and how long things typically take.
We break down how to negotiate, when mediation works (and why it fails), what arbitration actually is, how to use deadlines and case law to manage a difficult ex, when court becomes necessary, what happens at each court stage, and how to avoid getting stuck for months or years.
Whether you're at the very beginning or already halfway through, this roadmap will help you feel grounded and prepared.
📌 LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This episode is general education only — not legal advice. Always seek independent legal advice for your specific situation.
⏱️ Episode Timeline
00:00 – Divorce Roadmap Overview: What to Expect From Separation to Trial A complete explanation of the stages ahead and why understanding the process matters.
00:38 – Meet the Hosts + Education-Only Disclaimer Why we give information, not advice — and how to use the episode wisely.
01:59 – Why Your Separation Date Matters (Especially Under One Roof) How timelines, contributions, and financial outcomes are affected.
03:45 – DIY Negotiations: Why a 'Signed Paper' Isn't Enough The trap so many people fall into — and how it can cost you later.
05:28 – Consent Orders & Financial Agreements Explained What makes an agreement legally binding and what the court checks for.
06:59 – Parenting vs Property Mediation: How They Work & How to Prepare Why combining both in one day often backfires.
10:55 – After Mediation Fails: Arbitration, Offers & Partial Agreements How to keep momentum instead of getting stuck.
13:28 – Stonewalling & Delay Tactics: Deadlines, Notice to File & Case Law Strategies to shift an avoidant or controlling ex.
19:03 – Filing in Court: What Documents You Need & What They Mean Affidavits, financial statements, notices of risk and more.
20:47 – Should You File Parenting & Property Together? The advantages and pitfalls.
22:03 – Using Court Filings as Negotiation Leverage Why an initiating application often triggers settlement.
23:11 – First Court Event Explained (It's Not a Trial!) What registrars do, what decisions they can make, and what they can't.
23:43 – PPP500 & Evatt List: What These Court Pathways Mean for You Faster lists for smaller pools and family violence matters.
25:52 – Interim Hearings: Urgent Parenting & Property Issues When the court steps in early.
28:02 – Court-Ordered Mediation: Reality Checks & Settlement Pressure The moment many cases resolve.
31:35 – Readiness Hearing: Preparing for Trial Final directions, valuations, and evidence.
33:11 – Final Trial: What Actually Happens in the Courtroom Cross-examination, timelines, outcomes and appeals.
36:37 – Big Picture Strategy: Stay Focused on Your Stage Why thinking too far ahead causes overwhelm.
40:09 – Costs Orders & Legal Abuse The consequences for bad behaviour in litigation.
41:58 – Wrap-Up: Tell It to the Judge + Course Info & Outro
🔗 Links & Resources
✨The Course: https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/enrol ✨ Courses & Free Support Resources: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au
💛 Support Services 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14

🎧 Listen to this episode if…
You feel stuck and unable to move forward after separating



You're separated under one roof and nothing is changing

Your stuck deciding whether to go to court next or just give up



You're overwhelmed by the emotional load and decision fatigue



You don't know whether to start with the house, the money, the kids or the legal steps



You're waiting for the "right time" but it never seems to come



You want clarity about why you feel frozen and what to do next



You're scared of making a mistake or starting conflict



You want a practical, compassionate explanation of why early separation feels like quicksand



You need reassurance that you're not failing you're human

PLEASE note Lyn's audio file at the end of the episode was lost so we have cobbled together what we had to finish the episode as we know so many of you listen each week so, sorry no embroidered cushion this week. Hopefully the tech will behave itself next week for you all. 
Trigger warning there are discussions of Family Violence & Coercive Control. 
Legal Warning: this is not legal advice
📝 Episode Summary: Separated… but Stuck? The Chicken & Egg Problem Keeping You in Divorce Limbo
If you've ever felt like you're separated but… nothing is moving, you're not alone.
In this powerful episode, Laura and Lyn unpack the "Chicken & Egg Problem" of early divorce — that confusing, exhausting stage where every decision feels dependent on another decision, and you don't know which one you're meant to make first.
Should you move out? Should you get legal help? Should you talk to the bank? Should you wait for your ex? Should you apply for parenting arrangements? Should you start disclosure? Should you sell the house? Should you stay for the kids?
Everything feels tangled, and you feel frozen.
We break down why this paralysis happens, why it's normal, and how small, strategic steps can help you get out of emotional and practical limbo. You'll hear examples from real separations, insights about overwhelm and avoidance, and the surprising reasons so many women stay "stuck" for months — or even years.
This episode is your permission slip to take one small step, feel less afraid, and finally understand why your nervous system is doing exactly what it was designed to do.
This episode contains general separation discussion, not legal advice.
 
 
⏱️ Episode Timeline
00:00 — Why Early Separation Feels Impossible: The Chicken & Egg Problem
01:05 — What Keeps Women Stuck in Divorce Limbo
02:28 — Emotional Overload, Fear & Decision Paralysis
04:50 — Separated Under One Roof: Why Nothing Changes
07:14 — "Where Do I Start?" Understanding the Overwhelm
10:40 — The Pressure to Have a Full Plan Before Taking Action
12:33 — Money Fear, Housing Fear & Losing Stability
15:55 — Why Conflict Avoidance Keeps You Frozen
17:48 — Waiting for the Perfect Moment (And Why It Won't Come)
20:22 — How to Take One Small Step Without Starting a War
23:15 — Using Information to Reduce Fear and Panic
26:44 — What You Can Control vs What You Can't
29:30 — Making Progress Even When You're Not Ready
32:01 — Reassurance for Anyone Feeling Stuck
35:14 — Final Encouragement: You Don't Have to Solve Everything Today
 
 
🔗 Links & Resources
✨ Download the FREE Divorce Personality Quiz Printable
👉 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/quiz
✨ Join the Newsletter for Bonus Divorce Strategy Tools
(We only send practical, supportive content — no fluff.)
www.thedivorcecourse.com.au
✨ Safety & Support Resources
1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732
Lifeline – 13 11 14
 
If this episode helped you feel seen, understood, or just a little less stuck, please follow, rate, and review the podcast.
Sharing this episode might give another woman the clarity she desperately needs.

🎧 Listen to this episode if…
You're confused about why your divorce feels so hard

You're not sure how to communicate or negotiate with your ex

You suspect you're dealing with avoidance, conflict, or control or you are a people pleaser.

You're tired of being blindsided and want clarity

You want a divorce strategy that matches the actual dynamic you're in

You want a downloadable, printable version of the quiz

You love practical tools that help you feel calm, informed, and back in control

You want to take the quiz and finally understand your ex's divorce behaviour
Trigger warning there are discussions of Family Violence & Coercive Control. 
Legal Warning: this is not legal advice
📝 Episode Summary
In this episode, Laura and Lyn guide you through the 20-question Divorce Personality Quiz, designed to help you identify the divorce pattern you're dealing with
Your divorce type affects:
your communication strategy

your negotiation style

whether mediation will work

how to set boundaries

what evidence you need

how to emotionally protect yourself

whether safety planning is appropriate

You'll take the quiz with us live inside the episode and learn what each answer (A, B, C, or D) reveals about your ex's behaviour. This insight can transform your divorce experience by helping you understand what's really happening and why your current approach may or may not be working.
And if you want the free downloadable PDF of the quiz, a printable results sheet, and access to our bonus email guide "How to Strategise Based on Your Divorce Type", head to:
👉 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au
(Join the newsletter and we'll send the printable straight to your inbox.)
This episode includes general behavioural discussion, not legal advice.
⏱️ Episode Timeline
00:00 Introduction: What Divorce Type Are You Dealing With?
00:36 Why Identifying Your Divorce Type Matters for Your Strategy
00:58 Overview of the Four Divorce Types: Amicable, Avoidant, High-Conflict & Controlling
01:14 How to Take the Divorce Personality Quiz
01:39 Meet Your Hosts and Episode Overview
02:11 Understanding Divorce Personality Types & Behaviour Patterns
03:15 Divorce Quiz Part 1: Decision-Making, Conflict & Communication
05:51 What Your Answers Mean: Interpreting the First Quiz Results
09:40 Divorce Quiz Part 2: Boundaries, Money Issues & Emotional Safety
19:05 Divorce Quiz Part 3: Rules, Power Imbalances & Information Control
25:23 Final Divorce Quiz Questions + Strategy Insights
30:08 Recognising Manipulative or Controlling Divorce Dynamics
31:41 How to Identify Your Divorce Type From Your Quiz Results
32:30 Amicable Divorce: Strengths, Risks & When It Fails
35:14 Avoidant Ex Partners: Why Progress Feels Impossible
38:23 High-Conflict Divorce Explained: Escalation, Triggers & Survival Strategies
41:16 Controlling or Coercive Ex Partners: Red Flags & Safety Considerations
44:40 How to Create a Safety Plan During Divorce
48:20 Helpful Resources, Support Services & Next Steps
52:49 Final Thoughts: Matching Your Strategy to Your Ex's Behaviour
🔗 Links & Resources
✨ Download the FREE Divorce Personality Quiz Printable
👉 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/quiz
✨ Join the Newsletter for Bonus Divorce Strategy Tools
(We only send practical, supportive content )
✨ Safety & Support Resources
1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732
Lifeline – 13 11 14
Episodes Mentioned
10 Boundaries You Should Set Up Before Divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/0ecDTxw4rTc3zXBkcjuYpA?si=Eb_uqTJnSbS2Vtyz80tBmQ
 
The Purple Book Episode (Coercive Control & Abuse Patterns)
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1ccm01eMpJ3TMZa2uMaUMN?si=WJ7wQy9mTmKYhd2sTPiO0g
 
The Original "Divorce Personality Types" Episode
https://open.spotify.com/episode/1X89h1IBOUa0QFxiICIuwo?si=neoemW5URuubT8VYaGjlPw
If this episode helped you finally understand the behaviour you've been dealing with, please follow, rate and review the podcast. And don't forget to grab your FREE quiz download  it's one of the most powerful tools to help you navigate your divorce with clarity and confidence.

🎧 Listen to this episode if…
You're worried your custody or property case might end up eventually in court. 

You are preparing for Family Court or worried your case might escalate

You want to avoid mistakes that judges hate seeing in parenting or property matters

You're dealing with a high-conflict ex or coercive control

You're self-represented and want to understand what the court looks for

You want to protect your credibility and stay child-focused

You feel overwhelmed and want to understand how to present better in court

You want to understand how Family Court judges make decisions

If you're going through separation, divorce, or a parenting dispute in Australia, this episode will help you avoid the most common mistakes people make in the Family Court. These insights can make or break your credibility, influence parenting outcomes, and help you stay calm and strategic throughout the legal process.
In this episode, we unpack 10 behaviours that can ruin your case — the things that damage cases, frustrate judges, increase legal costs, and affect how your evidence is viewed. Whether you're self-represented, considering mediation, managing a high-conflict ex, or worried about how your actions may be interpreted, this conversation will give you clarity on what the court expects from parents.
Learn how to stay child-focused, how to avoid actions that look like parental alienation, how to communicate effectively, how to avoid sabotaging your own case, and why honesty, disclosure, and consistency matter so much. If you're feeling overwhelmed, emotional, or stuck in conflict, this episode offers guidance to help you stay grounded and organised.
LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This episode contains general discussion only this is  not legal advice please always get independent legal advice as each situation is different. 
Trigger Warning: This episode has some discussions of family violence.
 
 
⏱️ Episode Timeline
00:00 – Introduction: How to Avoid Mistakes That Hurt Your Family Court Case
Overview of the most common behaviours that weaken parenting and property cases.
02:07 – Why Judges Prioritise Child-Focused Parenting in Family Court
Understanding how child welfare drives decisions and how to demonstrate it clearly.
06:36 – Keeping Emotions Out of Family Court: What Judges Look For
Why emotional reactions, venting and accusations can damage your credibility.
13:26 – Presenting Evidence Properly: What Counts in Family Court
How to gather, organise and present evidence that the court will actually rely on.
16:59 – The Serious Consequences of Lying or Exaggerating in Court
How dishonesty can destroy your case and impact parenting or property outcomes.
21:27 – Disclosure Rules in Property Settlement: What You MUST Provide
Explaining financial disclosure obligations and what happens if you don't comply.
25:26 – Following Court Orders and Deadlines: Why Timing Matters
How delays, missed tasks or ignoring directions reflect poorly on your case.
25:58 – Understanding Family Court Practice Directions (CPD Requirements)
What the Central Practice Direction means for your behaviour and preparation.
28:40 – Narrowing the Issues Before Court: What Judges Expect You to Do
Why bringing every problem to court backfires and how to refine your case.
33:19 – Avoiding Behaviour That Looks Like Parental Alienation
How to protect your children and yourself without appearing to obstruct the other parent.
39:43 – Acting Reasonably in Family Court: How It Influences Outcomes
Examples of unreasonable behaviour and why judges pay close attention to it.
42:03 – Courtroom Etiquette, Presentation and Final Takeaways
How to conduct yourself, communicate effectively, and stay credible throughout your case.
 
 
🔗 Links & Resources
Free Webinar https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/divorcewebinarregistration



The Divorce Course Website – Courses & Support www.thedivorcecourse.com.au

1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732

Lifeline – 13 11 14

Dealing with Narc Lies in court
https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SdkXhj3vC2tfO3gDdkM6y?si=P-fwZYVSQxO7JnVs5yYJdw
When your ex lies in court https://open.spotify.com/episode/2OpAGxXfx78iAO81TMPPxJ?si=wcN-tRFdSaSjGLU51fmV7w
Overcoming disclosure delays 
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0uOO8dKYV4NWlCfyu8FZEh?si=PI-J7YtGTb6pFRKGa7KjdA
Disclosure Deadlocks
https://open.spotify.com/episode/2yrShRhq4jcGVuVDN6Jq6C?si=ZFmAHXmAT1-JS0neHjsDHQ
Is your ex hiding assets 
https://open.spotify.com/episode/4KbgLRFXB9r2rCz3vycZ98?si=nKf11LeYS_66Uzn003Ydug
Central Practice Directions
https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd
False Accusations of Parental Alienation
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0l9L5SDovV515EU4H5gpIf?si=jNYKY5cBTCatIXZpEHXisQ
Handover Hell
https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Pskjns3vZkLyv9FCefvxm?si=UrHDcaRBTwuKpnVmWty-qA
Family Reports
https://open.spotify.com/episode/4k2Z4glD8WpY4dsqz6vn5Y?si=MMj_I2N5RlaT_5flBfZjMQ
Court Etiquette 
https://open.spotify.com/episode/0JOwxZOGxT182UOp8iqd8z?si=8ib6y9qLRvuD5n8AO4y46w
💛 Closing Reminder
If this episode helped you feel more prepared or confident, please follow, rate, and review the podcast. Your support helps more women find clear, supportive information during their divorce or separation.

🎧 Listen to this episode if…
You're going through DV, coercive control, divorce or separation

You've survived DV and want to help other women going through it
You feel alone, isolated, or unsure where to turn

You want to hear about real support available for women in crisis

You've lost hope and need to know good people still exist

You want to understand what homelessness really looks like for women

You want to connect with a service that listens without judgment

You've wondered where to get help if you don't know where to start

 
📝 Episode Summary
If you've ever felt invisible, silenced, or completely alone while living through domestic violence, coercive control, separation, or divorce this episode is for you.
Today, Laura sits down with Jo West, the founder of 4 Voices, a remarkable charity supporting women experiencing domestic violence, financial abuse, homelessness, social isolation, and coercive control. This episode is different from our usual legal conversations it's a conversation about hope, humanity, and the power of connection when someone is going through hell and doesn't know where to turn.
Jo shares the reality of what women face when they're living in fear, why so many are afraid to reach out, and how simple acts of kindness like someone showing up, listening, and seeing you can genuinely change the course of a woman's life.
If you're struggling right now, this episode will remind you of something important:
There are helpers. You are not alone. And there is support waiting for you.
TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains general discussion about domestic violence and support, not legal information.
Finding Hope Again: The Charity Giving Women a Voice during DV, Coercive Control & Divorce
⏱️ Episode Timeline
[00:00] Meet Four Voices: A Support Service for Women Facing DV & Crisis
[01:00] Why Women Experiencing Coercive Control Often Feel Too Afraid to Reach Out
[02:06] Hidden Homelessness: The Reality for Women Leaving Unsafe Homes
[03:41] How Four Voices Uses Human Connection to Support Isolated Women
[07:00] What Happens on a Four Voices Support Van Shift
[09:04] A Story of Strength: One Woman Starting Over After 25 Years of Abuse
[12:33] Financial Abuse, Survival Mode & Why Leaving Is So Hard
[14:00] Why Some Women Get Turned Away From Services
[16:57] A Phone-Based Support System Designed for Women Who Are Scared to Talk
[18:55] Check-Ins, Consistency & Why They Matter for Recovery
[20:40] How You Can Help: Volunteering, Corporate Support & Raising Awareness
[23:50] Understanding the Hidden Crisis of Female Homelessness
[27:23] Misconceptions About DV, Leaving, and Life After Abuse
[30:41] Hope Stories: Courage, Connection & What Keeps Jo Going
[33:30] Final Message for Anyone Feeling Alone or Hopeless
 
🔗 Links & Resources
Four Voices Charity: https://www.4voices.org.au

Instagram: @4voicesau

1800RESPECT – 1800 737 732

Lifeline – 13 11 14

If in danger, call 000 immediately in Australia

 
🚨 Support Services (Australia)
1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732

Lifeline – 13 11 14

Safe Beds for Pets (RSPCA)

 
💛 Closing Reminder
If this conversation brought you comfort or hope, please follow, rate, and review the podcast. Sharing this episode could help another woman find the support she desperately needs.