The Hardcore Self-Help Podcast with Duff the Psych

Dating and relationships have never been simple — but in today's world of apps, algorithms, and endless options, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and disconnected. In this episode, I speak with Dr. Justin Garcia, Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute, evolutionary biologist, sex researcher, and author of the upcoming book The Intimate Animal. We talk about what our biology can (and can't) tell us about love and desire, how technology is reshaping intimacy, and why breakups can hit so hard.
We also get personal — sharing stories about grief, recovery, non-monogamy, and navigating love in the real world. Dr. Garcia brings a refreshingly nuanced perspective, blending science, lived experience, and a deep respect for the complexities of modern relationships.
Topics Covered
The biological basis of pair bonding and why love is a survival strategy

How dating apps are changing the way we connect — and the pitfalls of infinite choice

Non-monogamy, open relationships, and what science really says about them

Breakups, heartbreak, and why they feel like addiction withdrawal

Infidelity: what motivates it, and why it's often about secrecy more than sex

Practical dating advice backed by years of research

The neuroscience of attraction, and how foreplay, communication, and intention keep passion alive

How personal experience shaped Dr. Garcia's latest work — including his own recent marriage and fatherhood

Guest Bio
Dr. Justin Garcia is an evolutionary biologist, sex researcher, and Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. He's also the Chief Scientific Advisor for Match Group, guiding large-scale studies on modern relationships like the annual Singles in America survey. His research has been featured in outlets like The New York Times, TIME, and CNN, and his new book The Intimate Animal: The Science of Sex, Fidelity, and Why We Live and Die for Love will be released on January 27, 2026.
Learn more: Kinsey Institute Bio – https://kinseyinstitute.org/about/staff/executive-director-justin-garcia.html Pre-order The Intimate Animal – https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/justin-r-garcia-phd/the-intimate-animal/9780316594035/
Resources Mentioned
Singles in America study – https://www.singlesinamerica.com/

Kinsey Institute – https://www.kinseyinstitute.org/

Dr. Garcia's social media: Search "Dr. Justin Garcia" on major platforms or follow updates via the Kinsey Institute

Key Takeaways
Love and sex are biologically distinct but deeply intertwined. We're wired for long-term bonding, but novelty and desire often create tension within those bonds.

Breakups are more than emotional — they're neurochemical. Love activates the brain's reward systems, and heartbreak can mimic drug withdrawal.

Modern dating can feel overwhelming because our brains haven't evolved to handle endless digital choice. Intention and curiosity matter more than perfection.

Non-monogamous relationships aren't inherently less loving or stable. They often demand high levels of communication and negotiation.

Infidelity is less about desire and more about secrecy. Even in non-monogamous relationships, broken trust hurts.

There's no perfect formula for love. Each connection is unique, and understanding yourself can help you show up better in relationships.

Connect with Me
Have a question, topic suggestion, or want to be a guest? Email: [email protected] Website: https://duffthepsych.com Contact form: https://duffthepsych.com/contact
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In this episode, I'm honored to welcome Dr. Tracy Hicks, a dual-certified family and mental health nurse practitioner with over two decades of clinical experience—and a deeply personal connection to serious mental illness. Dr. Hicks is both the daughter of a parent and the mother of a child with schizophrenia spectrum disorders. Her perspective blends professional expertise with lived experience in a way that is both deeply compassionate and refreshingly practical.
We talk about what schizophrenia really is (and isn't), the impact of stigma on individuals and families, and the importance of person-centered, empathetic care. Dr. Hicks shares her personal journey—raising a daughter with serious mental illness while navigating barriers in the healthcare system—and offers guidance for both providers and caregivers who want to better support those living with schizophrenia.
This is a powerful and deeply human conversation for anyone touched by serious mental illness.
Topics We Cover
What schizophrenia is and how it's commonly misunderstood

Growing up with a parent who has schizophrenia

Early warning signs and delays in diagnosis for her daughter

How stigma and systemic bias impact treatment access and quality

Long-acting injectable medications: what they are and why they matter

Creating space for curiosity and shared decision-making in care

How to support loved ones without losing yourself

Advice for providers on building trust and improving outcomes

The power of grace, boundaries, and self-care for caregivers

Timestamps
00:00 – Introduction to Dr. Tracy Hicks and her personal/professional background 03:00 – From nursing to psychiatry: building a whole-person care model 07:00 – Childhood memories of a parent with schizophrenia 11:00 – Explaining what schizophrenia is and is not 14:00 – Challenging stereotypes: what schizophrenia actually looks like 18:00 – Early signs in Dr. Hicks' daughter and missed opportunities for intervention 22:00 – Racism, bias, and provider assumptions 24:00 – Treatment begins with the story, not the symptoms 26:00 – Why empathy and curiosity matter more than credentials 28:00 – The question that opens everything: "What's your goal for today?" 32:00 – Including family and support systems in the care plan 36:00 – Communication shifts that changed lives 41:00 – What long-acting injectables are and how to present them as an option 47:00 – Combating clinical inertia and provider bias 51:00 – What Dr. Hicks would do differently as a parent 54:00 – Creating your own space when the system doesn't serve you 58:00 – Boundaries, burnout, and filling your own cup as a caregiver 1:02:00 – Final thoughts on stigma, advocacy, and asking for what you need 1:03:30 – Where to follow Dr. Hicks and access her work
Guest Links
Website: https://www.cfcmentalhealthoutreach.org

Instagram: https://instagram.com/drhicksnp

Stay Connected
Email: [email protected]

Send a message or question: https://www.duffthepsych.com/contact

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych

Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych

If this episode resonated with you, please consider subscribing, leaving a review, or sharing it with someone who could benefit. Conversations like this one can make a world of difference for people who feel alone in their experience.
Until next time, take care of yourself.

In this episode, I share the absolute honest truth about my life at the moment. I also talk about my focus for this year, the phrases I can't get out of my head, and the things I'm grateful for from the last year.
Let's do this.
Got a question for the show? Email [email protected] or head over the http://duffthepsych.com/contact.
Watch the video at http://youtube.com/duffthepsych
Follow me on Instagram at http://instagram.com/duffthepsych and Facebook at http://facebook.com/duffthepsych
More writings and additional podcast content over at https://robertduff.substack.com/

In this deeply informative episode, I'm joined by licensed marriage and family therapist Melissa Mose, LMFT, who brings 30 years of clinical experience to the table and a unique approach to treating OCD by integrating Internal Family Systems (IFS) with traditional methods like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP).
Melissa shares how a personal experience—her daughter's sudden-onset OCD—propelled her into the world of OCD treatment and changed the direction of her career. We talk through how OCD manifests, why traditional ERP can be both life-changing and difficult for people, and how IFS can offer a more compassionate, effective way to approach healing by helping clients access their internal "Self."
We also discuss Melissa's new book for clinicians, her training work, and the upcoming OCD SoCal Conference happening online on November 15–16, 2025.
🧠 What We Discuss in This Episode:
Melissa's unexpected path from literature and mythology to psychotherapy

The sudden-onset OCD experience with her daughter that changed everything

What OCD really is – beyond stereotypes – and why it's often misunderstood

Core concepts of ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention)

How Internal Family Systems (IFS) works and its 8 C's of Self-energy

Why combining IFS and ERP may provide better outcomes for some people

"Self-led ERP" – Melissa's integrative model for treating OCD

Real-life examples of recovery using this compassionate framework

The importance of identifying OCD early, especially in kids

Training efforts to help clinicians recognize and effectively treat OCD

Hope for those who feel "too far gone"

⏱️ Episode Chapters & Timestamps:
00:00 – Intro to Melissa Mose and IFS for OCD 03:00 – Melissa's background and shift from English literature to psychology 08:00 – Early career in teen and family systems therapy 11:00 – Her daughter's sudden-onset OCD and the diagnosis of PANDAS 14:30 – Navigating confusion, misdiagnosis, and treatment discovery 18:00 – What OCD actually is: the obsession-compulsion cycle 22:00 – How compulsions generalize and worsen OCD 24:30 – Introduction to ERP and how it works 29:00 – What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)? 34:00 – Comparing IFS to ACT and other models 42:00 – Mapping OCD symptoms to internal "parts" using IFS 48:00 – A self-led approach to ERP: empowering the Self 50:30 – Client success stories and examples 55:00 – The rise of IFS in the OCD world 58:00 – Is IFS evidence-based for OCD? 01:00:00 – Melissa's "Self-led ERP" model explained 01:02:00 – Workbook and practical tools coming soon 01:04:00 – How to get started with IFS 01:08:00 – Inside Out, visualization, and self-awareness 01:10:00 – Making IFS for OCD more accessible worldwide 01:12:00 – Final thoughts: hope and next steps for those struggling
📚 Resources & Links from the Episode
🔹 Melissa Mose's Website https://www.melissamosemft.com/
🔹 IFS for OCD Resources and Courses https://www.ifsforocd.com/blog
🔹 Melissa's Book: Internal Family Systems Therapy for OCD: A Clinician's Guide 📘 On Amazon: Buy here 📘 On Routledge: https://www.routledge.com/Internal-Family-Systems-Therapy-for-OCD-A-Clinicians-Guide/Mose/p/book/9781032583730
🔹 OCD SoCal 2025 Online Conference (November 15–16, 2025) 🌐 Full Program Info: https://ocdsocal.org/conference/ 🎟️ Register Here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/2025-online-ocd-conference-a-global-event-tickets-1531193865069?aff=oddtdtcreator
🎧 Stay Connected with Me
💌 Email: [email protected]

🌐 Website: https://duffthepsych.com

📺 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych

📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych

In this heartfelt and candid episode, I'm joined by Chef Chris Valdes—TV personality, cookbook author, and lifelong culinary artist—to talk about his powerful personal journey through the culinary world and the mental health struggles he's faced along the way. From growing up in a Cuban restaurant in Miami to rising to national TV fame, Chris has seen both the bright lights and the dark corners of the kitchen. He shares stories of family, grief, hustle, and healing—including why he took a year off from everything to rediscover himself.
Whether you're in food service, struggling with burnout, or just love a good story with heart and spice, this one's for you.
Timestamps / Chapters:
[00:00:00] Intro & Chris's background
[00:03:00] Earliest food memory: the flan and whipped cream incident
[00:06:45] Growing up in a family restaurant
[00:08:30] Father's imprisonment and family disruption
[00:13:00] Early entrepreneurial spirit (orange hustling!)
[00:17:00] High school struggles & turning point with Le Cordon Bleu
[00:23:00] Launching his catering company at 19
[00:26:00] First experience with depression & thoughts of ending it
[00:29:00] Hitting a wall after a breakup & GMA meltdown
[00:33:00] Psychedelic healing ceremony in Malibu
[00:38:00] Rediscovering self through solitude, therapy, and boundaries
[00:43:00] Toxic kitchen culture and normalizing mental health discussions
[00:47:00] Holiday catering chaos and internal pressure
[00:52:00] Advice on rest, recovery, and choosing yourself
[00:56:00] What's next: books, new management, and the slow lane
[00:57:00] Signature nostalgic dish
[00:59:00] Go-to Latin spices (cumin, garlic, cilantro)
[01:01:00] What young Chris would say to 2025 Chris
[01:02:30] Where to follow and final thoughts
Links -
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chefchrisvaldes
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chefchrisvaldes
His cookbook - One With the Kitchen: https://www.amazon.com/One-Kitchen-Recipes-stories-inspired/dp/0578886456