The Love Doc Podcast

• Episode 46 | Meet Our Husbands

  Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.Episode 46: Meet Our HusbandsIn this special and heartfelt episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Sarah Hensley and co-host Raina Butcher introduce their listeners to two very important people in their lives—their husbands, Donald and Josh.Josh, Raina’s husband, was a self-proclaimed perpetual bachelor. Neither he nor Raina had been married before, and they didn’t tie the knot until they met in their 40s. Donald, Dr. Hensley’s husband, had a different journey—having been married twice before. Despite their contrasting paths, both men had one thing in common: they had grown comfortable with independence and navigating life on their own terms. They both attirbuted to being able to find thier secure attachement through being comfortable being alone.During this candid conversation, Donald opens up about how his military service shaped both his struggles and his personal growth. Meanwhile, Josh shares how his experiences out west as a cowboy played a significant role in his emotional development.The couples also discuss the unique dynamics of their marriages—how they manage the demands of modern life, complex schedules, and blended families. Dr. Hensley and Donald talk about raising a household of children in what they call a modern-day Brady Bunch scenario, while Raina and Josh reflect on merging their lives, with Josh stepping into a marriage where Raina already had a son.This episode gives listeners an intimate glimpse into the real-life relationships of Dr. Hensley and Raina, highlighting the beauty and challenges of love, family, and commitment. They hope that by sharing their personal journeys, listeners will find reassurance that navigating modern relationships isn’t always easy—but through patience, understnading, and showing each other grace marriage can be joyful, inspiring, and the ultimate relationship for personal growth. Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of life, love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coachingBook one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual CoachingPurchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/coursesTik-Tok: @drsarahhensleyInstagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedocFacebook: Dr. Sarah HensleyYoutube: @Dr.SarahHensleyBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.

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• Episode 45 | The Drop

  Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.Episode 45: The DropIn this deeply personal and reflective episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Sarah Hensley explores “The Drop”—the inevitable moments in life when, after reaching great heights, we find ourselves falling back down. Inspired by the song The Drop by Forrest Frank, this episode delves into what it truly means to rise to success, only to be met with unexpected setbacks, challenges, and even betrayals. More importantly, Dr. Hensley unpacks how we handle these moments with humility, grace, and resilience.Dr. Hensley shares her own journey of rising to the top—how success can make it easy to be kind, loving, and open-hearted. But she also reminds listeners that no one is immune to life’s trials, and 2024 tested her in ways she never expected. She opens up about a personal legal battle involving someone who intentionally harmed her family, as well as the devastating news that her mother’s cancer has returned after nearly five years in remission. She speaks candidly about how these experiences deeply affected her and her family, and how easy it would be to let pain turn into bitterness.But Dr. Hensley emphasizes that suffering—while inevitable—does not have to define us. She challenges the common “white-knuckle approach” to hardship, where people try to fight through suffering by suppressing emotions, hardening their hearts, and carrying resentment. This, she explains, only makes the pain worse, as it places unnecessary stress on the nervous system and fuels a cycle of anger and defensiveness.Midway through the episode, Dr. Hensley shares a profound shift in perspective that changed her life:Instead of living in the fear of “What if?”, she learned to embrace the mindset of “Even if.”• What if the worst happens? → Fear, anxiety, and suffering.• Even if the worst happens, I will stay faithful, calm, and gracious.This shift, she explains, allowed her to let go of fear and control, and instead trust that even in hardship, there is purpose, healing, and grace.As the episode closes, Dr. Hensley leaves listeners with a powerful reminder:Yes, suffering is part of life. Yes, the drop can feel unfair and even cruel. But it doesn’t last forever. And more importantly, it shapes us, humbles us, and reminds us of the joy that comes from overcoming challenges with integrity and faith.If you find yourself in a drop—whether it’s personal loss, betrayal, or a sudden setback—you are not alone. Healing is possible, and Dr. Hensley would be honored to be a resource in your journey.This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating hardship and seeking a faith-driven, compassionate approach to resilience.Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of life, love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coachingBook one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual CoachingPurchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/coursesTik-Tok: @drsarahhensleyInstagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedocFacebook: Dr. Sarah HensleyYoutube: @Dr.SarahHensleyBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.

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• Episode 44 | How to Show Up as the Best Version of Your Most Authentic Self

  Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.Episode 44: – Showing Up as the Best Version of Your Most Authentic Self In this episode, Dr. Hensley explores what it truly means to be authentic—what authenticity is, what it is not, and how to cultivate it. She emphasizes that before we can fully show up as our authentic selves, we must first confront and understand our shadow self and suppressed traits.Dr. Hensley explains how our ability to be authentic starts with the messages we receive from caregivers in childhood. From a young age, we are taught which emotions and traits are acceptable and which should be hidden or suppressed. These early lessons shape how we navigate relationships and self-expression as adults.Next, she delves into how different insecure attachment styles suppress certain emotions, impacting their ability to be authentic, sometimes leading to poor relationship patterns. A major part of healing involves recognizing these suppressed traits without shame and allowing oneself to express them freely.Faith plays a significant role in this process, and Dr. Hensley shares her personal struggles with expressing certain traits. She opens up about how God’s grace and mercy have helped her work through feelings of shame and embrace her true self.A key highlight of this episode is the perpetual people-pleaser, who struggles the most with authenticity. People-pleasers often self-abandon to maintain peace, suppressing their true needs and emotions. Dr. Hensley explains that the foundation of authenticity lies in self-trust and building a strong relationship with oneself.Toward the end, she discusses how boundaries are essential for authenticity. She shares a real-life example from her marriage, illustrating how she has learned to embrace her authentic self without guilt or fear.This episode is a must-listen for anyone struggling to show up as their authentic self. If you’re ready to step into authenticity, Dr. Hensley’s services can guide you on this journey.Visit Dr. Hensley's website at thelovedoc.com (now active) Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coachingBook one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual CoachingPurchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/coursesTik-Tok: @drsarahhensleyInstagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedocFacebook: Dr. Sarah HensleyYoutube: @Dr.SarahHensleyBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.

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• Episode 43 | If They Don't Want to be Kept, Don't Keep Em

  Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.In Episode 43 of “The Love Doc” podcast, titled “If They Don’t Want to Be Kept, Don’t Keep ’Em,” Dr. Hensley delves into the common question she receives from clients: “How do I get my partner to [fill in the blank]?” She emphasizes that attempting to change a partner is futile and that true emotional security comes from recognizing that the only person one can change is oneself.Key Discussion Points:1. Losing Oneself in the Effort to Change a Partner:She warns against the dangers of contorting oneself to induce change in a partner, often leading to a loss of personal identity and autonomy. This behavior can result in emotional exhaustion and dissatisfaction.2. The Fallacy of Loving Someone Enough to Change Them:Dr. Hensley addresses the misconception that one can love someone into changing. She asserts that change must come from within an individual who is ready and willing; external pressure is ineffective and can be detrimental.3. Coercion vs. Genuine Expression of Love:Attempting to force or manipulate a partner into meeting one’s needs is not a true expression of love. Authentic love respects autonomy and encourages voluntary, mutual effort in the relationship.4. Recognizing When a Partner Is Not Capable of Commitment:Dr. Hensley emphasizes the importance of acknowledging when a partner consistently demonstrates an inability or unwillingness to commit. Persisting in such situations leads to frustration and hinders personal growth.Subconscious Manipulation and Emotional Exhaustion:The episode delves into the subconscious manipulation involved in trying to retain a partner who is unwilling or unable to meet one’s needs. This dynamic leads to emotional exhaustion and disrupts the nervous system, fostering dysfunction and instability in the relationship.Attachment Styles and the Push-Pull Dynamic:Dr. Hensley explores attachment styles, particularly the fearful-avoidant and dismissive-avoidant pairings, where push-pull dynamics are prevalent:• Fearful-Avoidant Attachment: Characterized by a desire for intimacy coupled with a fear of getting hurt, leading to ambivalence and mistrust in relationships.• Dismissive-Avoidant Attachment: Marked by a preference for independence and discomfort with closeness, resulting in emotional distance and a tendency to withdraw from partners.When individuals with these attachment styles pair together, a cyclical pattern of pursuing and distancing ensues, creating instability and dissatisfaction.Advice for Breaking the Cycle:Towards the end of the episode, Dr. Hensley offers guidance for those trapped in unfulfilling dynamics:• Toxic Hope: Recognize and release the unrealistic expectation that a partner will change, which perpetuates unhealthy attachment and prolongs suffering.• Radical Acceptance: Embrace the reality of the situation without resistance, acknowledging that one cannot control or change another’s behavior.These concepts and more are elaborated upon in her new breakup course (now live and ready for purchse), designed to help individuals cultivate inner safety and trust in their decision-making, empowering them to leave relationships that do not serve their well-being.Visit Dr. Hensley's website at thelovedoc.com (now active) Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/group-coachingBook one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: Virtual CoachingPurchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://courses.thelovedoc.com/coursesTik-Tok: @drsarahhensleyInstagram: @dr.sarahhensley_lovedocFacebook: Dr. Sarah HensleyYoutube: @Dr.SarahHensleyBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.

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• Episode 42 | Navigating Divorce

  Hosted by Dr. Sarah Hensley, Specialized Social Psychologist, Attachment Theory Expert, and Founder & CEO of The Dating Decoder with Co-host Raina Butcher, Owner/CEO of Joyful Consulting, LLC. Welcome to "The Love Doc Podcast" where Host Dr. Sarah Hensley and her co-host Raina Butcher dive deep into the intricacies of love, attraction, attachment, relationships, and self-awareness. Dr. Hensley brings a wealth of knowledge and experience to help listeners navigate the complexities of modern romance. In each episode, Dr. Hensley tackles burning questions about love, relationships, and the mind’s complexities, drawing from her psychological research, real-life experiences, and her own individual expertise, to provide insightful perspectives and practical advice.Episode 42 – How to Navigate DivorceIn this powerful episode of The Love Doc Podcast, Dr. Hensley takes a deep dive into one of the most difficult and life-altering experiences a person can face—divorce. With compassion, insight, and real-life experience from coaching hundreds of clients, she offers a roadmap for navigating the process in the healthiest way possible.When Is Divorce Acceptable?Dr. Hensley begins the episode by addressing a critical question: When is divorce justified? She makes it clear that while every marriage has challenges, certain circumstances—such as infidelity, emotional abuse, physical abuse, and neglect—are valid and acceptable reasons to leave a marriage. However, she also emphasizes that nothing in this episode should be taken as legal advice; instead, she shares wisdom based on her personal experience and extensive coaching work.Step 1: Accepting Your Partner’s DecisionOne of the first steps in navigating divorce is accepting your partner’s boundary if they have filed for divorce. Dr. Hensley stresses the importance of expressing your feelings openly and compassionately—whether or not you want the divorce—without becoming needy, pushy, or anxious. This approach allows for open communication and ensures that divorce isn’t being used as a mere threat.Step 2: Creating Emotional and Physical SpaceShe then explores the importance of creating both emotional and physical distance. This space provides clarity, helping individuals truly understand what life will be like post-divorce. By stepping back, people can gain perspective on whether they are seeking reconciliation out of genuine desire or simply fearing change.Step 3: Understanding the Legal ProcessA major portion of the episode is dedicated to the legal aspects of divorce. Dr. Hensley underscores the importance of securing a strong attorney and thoroughly understanding state-specific divorce and custody laws. She encourages listeners to seek individual legal counsel—even in seemingly amicable divorces—because legal protection is crucial in navigating financial and custody matters.Step 4: Communication During DivorceDr. Hensley provides actionable strategies for communication during the divorce process. She explains how to maintain open dialogue without overstepping boundaries and gives specific language that can help avoid unnecessary conflict. She also discusses the challenges of co-parenting and offers guidance on ensuring children feel emotionally supported throughout the transition.Can a Marriage Be Saved?Halfway through the episode, Dr. Hensley shifts gears to discuss cases where marriages have been salvaged from the brink of divorce. She shares success stories from her coaching program, illustrating how the tools she teaches can help couples reconnect and repair their relationships. She also provides a realistic timeline for seeing meaningful change when both partners commit to the work.Attachment Styles and DivorceNext, Dr. Hensley examines how different attachment styles handle divorce—and where each one typically goes wrong:• Anxious-preoccupied individuals may cling to the relationship, struggle with self-worth, and resist letting go.• Dismissive avoidants may shut down emotionally, minimize the pain, and attempt to move on too quickly.• Fearful avoidants often experience inner conflict, cycling between wanting connection and pushing their partner away.She offers targeted advice for each attachment style, helping listeners recognize their patterns and make healthier choices during this transition.Breaking Free from Trauma BondsOne of the most challenging aspects of divorce is severing a trauma bond—especially in toxic or abusive relationships. Dr. Hensley outlines a key strategy she teaches in her coaching program:• Practicing radical acceptance of the situation.• Immersing oneself in the truth by writing out relationship issues and reading them daily.By consistently reinforcing reality, individuals can shift their mindset and begin the process of emotional detachment.Should You Wait Before Divorcing?For those who feel uncertain, Dr. Hensley advises taking true inventory of the relationship for 3 to 6 months before making a final decision. She stresses the importance of focusing on personal growth and reaching secure attachment before deciding whether divorce is truly the right path.Final Thoughts: The Legal and Emotional Reality of DivorceDr. Hensley concludes the episode by revisiting the legal complexities of divorce, reiterating how critical it is to protect oneself legally—especially when children are involved. She acknowledges that divorce often brings out the worst in people, making legal representation essential. She also reminds listeners that while divorce is painful, it can also be an opportunity for renewal.Divorce as a New BeginningDr. Hensley leaves listeners with a hopeful message: Divorce, while painful, is not the end—it’s a blank canvas. It is a chance to rebuild, rediscover personal identity, and create a life aligned with one’s values and desires. Though the process may be difficult, it also brings the possibility of newfound freedom, growth, and ultimately, happiness.This episode provides a compassionate, insightful, and practical guide for anyone navigating divorce—whether they are in the midst of it, contemplating it, or trying to heal from it.Tune in to "The Love Doc Podcast" every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert guidance, and a deeper understanding of love and relationships in the modern world. To see all of Dr. Hensley’s services please visit the links below and follow her on social media. PROMO CODE FOR OUR LISTNERS: Use LOVEDOC27 to receive 27% off any of Dr. Hensley's courses or her Hybrid Group Coaching Program. Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/group-coaching/Book one on one with Dr. Hensley or one of her certified coaches: https://www.thedatingdecoder.com/book-appointment/Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online course: https://dating-decoder.mykajabi.com/offers/PpEPKnsM/checkoutTik-Tok: @drsarahhensleyInstagram: @the_dating_decoderFacebook: The Dating DecoderYoutube: @Dr.SarahHensleyBecome a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-love-doc-podcast--6390558/support.

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