The Dr. Sarah Hensley Show

Can two fearful avoidants make a relationship work? When both partners have fearful avoidant attachment, the connection can feel unusually deep—until conflict triggers an intense fight, a sudden shutdown, or a reversal of who is chasing whom.

In newest episode, Dr. Sarah and Raina explain the fearful avoidant–fearful avoidant (FA–FA) relationship cycle. They discuss why these partners often feel so understood at first, how fear of betrayal can turn a disagreement into a painful fight, and how this pattern differs from a fearful avoidant–dismissive avoidant relationship.

You’ll also hear why understanding your partner’s perspective does not mean agreeing with it, and how recognizing the cycle can help couples repair conflict and build a more secure connection.

Tune in every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert insights, and the guidance you need to navigate love and relationships in today’s world. For more information on Dr. Hensley’s offerings, explore the links below and connect with her on social media.

Patreon link: patreon.com/TheDrSarahHensleyShow

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/group-coaching

Individual Coaching: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/pick-your-coach/

Couples Coaching: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/pick-your-coach-couples/.

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/courses/

Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensley

Instagram: @dr.sarahhensley

Facebook: Dr. Sarah Hensley

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

Disclaimer: The content shared on this podcast reflects personal experiences, opinions, and perspectives. The stories told are based on real-life events as remembered and interpreted by the hosts and guests. While we may discuss past relationships, custody matters, or personal dynamics, we do so from our point of view and with the intention of healing, education, and advocacy.

Identities are not disclosed unless already publicly known or permitted, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental unless explicitly stated. The information provided is not intended to defame, malign, or harm any individual or entity.

We do not offer legal advice or psychological diagnosis. Listeners are encouraged to consult with professionals regarding their specific circumstances.

By listening to this podcast, you agree that the hosts are not liable for any losses, damages, or misunderstandings arising from its content.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-dr-sarah-hensley-show--6390558/support.

Why are fearful-avoidant and dismissive-avoidant partners so magnetically attracted to each other—only to become trapped in criticism, withdrawal, resentment, and disconnection?

In this episode, Dr. Sarah Hensley breaks down the fearful-avoidant/dismissive-avoidant relationship dynamic and explains how couples can interrupt the painful push-pull cycle before it destroys their relationship.

You’ll learn:

-Why fearful and dismissive avoidants are intensely attracted to each other
-How the honeymoon phase turns into a pursue-withdraw conflict cycle
-Why dismissive avoidants shut down—and why that activates fearful avoidants
-How criticism, emotional flooding, defensiveness, and unresolved conflict create resentment
-The dating red flags associated with both attachment styles
-Why conventional couples therapy can sometimes make this dynamic worse
-How neutral communication, emotional processing, mentalization, boundaries, and structured conflict repair can help
-Whether one partner can become the secure anchor and change the relationship

Dr. Hensley also shares a real-life conflict-repair example and explains why lasting regulation requires processing your emotions—not simply forcing yourself to calm down.

Whether you identify as fearful avoidant, dismissive avoidant, emotionally unavailable, or simply feel stuck in a push-pull relationship, this episode offers practical insight into understanding your attachment patterns, resolving conflict, and building a more secure connection.

Tune in every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert insights, and the guidance you need to navigate love and relationships in today’s world. For more information on Dr. Hensley’s offerings, explore the links below and connect with her on social media.

Patreon link: patreon.com/TheDrSarahHensleyShow

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/group-coaching

Individual Coaching: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/pick-your-coach/

Couples Coaching: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/pick-your-coach-couples/.

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/courses/

Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensley

Instagram: @dr.sarahhensley

Facebook: Dr. Sarah Hensley

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

Disclaimer: The content shared on this podcast reflects personal experiences, opinions, and perspectives. The stories told are based on real-life events as remembered and interpreted by the hosts and guests. While we may discuss past relationships, custody matters, or personal dynamics, we do so from our point of view and with the intention of healing, education, and advocacy.

Identities are not disclosed unless already publicly known or permitted, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental unless explicitly stated. The information provided is not intended to defame, malign, or harm any individual or entity.

We do not offer legal advice or psychological diagnosis. Listeners are encouraged to consult with professionals regarding their specific circumstances.

By listening to this podcast, you agree that the hosts are not liable for any losses, damages, or misunderstandings arising from its content.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-dr-sarah-hensley-show--6390558/support.

Dr. Sarah Hensley answers your questions about attachment styles and relationships in this audience-led Q&A.

Join Sarah and Raina as they explore real-life relationship concerns through the lens of attachment science, offering perspectives on understanding yourself and your connections with others.

Questions were submitted by members of the Dr. Sarah Hensley Clients and Community Facebook group—making this episode a conversation driven by the experiences and concerns of the community.

If you aren’t yet part of the free, private Dr. Sarah Hensley Clients & Community Facebook group, now is the perfect time to join. It’s a supportive, attachment informed space where you can ask questions anonymously, connect with others on a similar healing path, and receive guidance rooted in science and compassion.
➡️ Join the group here. https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1FV8YUfrfG/

Dr. Hensley will continue pulling from your submissions to feature your biggest questions on the podcast—because your growth, your clarity, and your healing matter here.

Tune in every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert insights, and the guidance you need to navigate love and relationships in today’s world. For more information on Dr. Hensley’s offerings, explore the links below and connect with her on social media.

Patreon link: patreon.com/TheDrSarahHensleyShow

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/group-coaching

Individual Coaching: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/pick-your-coach/

Couples Coaching: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/pick-your-coach-couples/.

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/courses/

Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensley

Instagram: @dr.sarahhensley

Facebook: Dr. Sarah Hensley

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

Disclaimer: The content shared on this podcast reflects personal experiences, opinions, and perspectives. The stories told are based on real-life events as remembered and interpreted by the hosts and guests. While we may discuss past relationships, custody matters, or personal dynamics, we do so from our point of view and with the intention of healing, education, and advocacy.

Identities are not disclosed unless already publicly known or permitted, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental unless explicitly stated. The information provided is not intended to defame, malign, or harm any individual or entity.

We do not offer legal advice or psychological diagnosis. Listeners are encouraged to consult with professionals regarding their specific circumstances.

By listening to this podcast, you agree that the hosts are not liable for any losses, damages, or misunderstandings arising from its content.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-dr-sarah-hensley-show--6390558/support.

Something new is in the works at Dr. Sarah Hensley Relationship Coaching Services—and in this episode, Dr. Sarah Hensley and Raina are giving you the first sneak peek.

 For months, the team has been developing a new project designed to take Dr. Hensley’s relationship coaching and attachment science to an entirely new level.

We can’t reveal everything just yet, but here’s what we can share.

Imagine having Dr. Hensley’s coaching framework and relationship tools in one place—along with the ability to assess your attachment patterns using scientifically grounded data, track your own progress over time, and even begin measuring changes within your relationship and partner dynamic.

Instead of another online attachment style “quiz” that gives you a label and sends you on your way, this project is being built around real relationship science, measurable progress, and actual behavior change. In this episode, Dr. Hensley and Raina pull back the curtain on: • The new project currently being developed behind the scenes

• Why Dr. Hensley wanted to create something beyond traditional attachment quizzes
• How attachment and relationship progress could actually be measured over time
• The possibility of tracking progress for both you and your partner
• How Dr. Hensley’s coaching program and tools will fit into the experience
• The bigger vision for where relationship coaching—and relationship science—could go next

There’s still a lot we can't share yet. But this is your first look at what’s coming next.

Subscribe to The Dr. Sarah Hensley Show to follow the project as it develops and be among the first to hear what’s coming.

Tune in every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert insights, and the guidance you need to navigate love and relationships in today’s world. For more information on Dr. Hensley’s offerings, explore the links below and connect with her on social media.

Patreon link: patreon.com/TheDrSarahHensleyShow

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/group-coaching

Individual Coaching: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/pick-your-coach/

Couples Coaching: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/pick-your-coach-couples/.

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/courses/

Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensley

Instagram: @dr.sarahhensley

Facebook: Dr. Sarah Hensley

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

Disclaimer: The content shared on this podcast reflects personal experiences, opinions, and perspectives. The stories told are based on real-life events as remembered and interpreted by the hosts and guests. While we may discuss past relationships, custody matters, or personal dynamics, we do so from our point of view and with the intention of healing, education, and advocacy.

Identities are not disclosed unless already publicly known or permitted, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental unless explicitly stated. The information provided is not intended to defame, malign, or harm any individual or entity.

We do not offer legal advice or psychological diagnosis. Listeners are encouraged to consult with professionals regarding their specific circumstances.

By listening to this podcast, you agree that the hosts are not liable for any losses, damages, or misunderstandings arising from its content.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-dr-sarah-hensley-show--6390558/support.

Why are you attracted to certain people? Why do some relationships make you feel secure while others trigger anxiety, distance, or fear? And why do the same relationship patterns seem to repeat—even when the person changes?

The answer may be found in your attachment system.

In this episode of The Dr. Sarah Hensley Show, Dr. Sarah Hensley breaks down the science of attachment in a way that’s easy to understand—and explains just how much your attachment style can predict about your intimate relationships.

Dr. Hensley explores how attachment influences who you choose as a partner, what you’re attracted to, how you experience emotional intimacy, how you respond to conflict and disconnection, and the behaviors that emerge when your attachment system is activated.

You’ll learn attachment styles—secure, anxious preoccupied, dismissive avoidant, and fearful avoidant—can experience the exact same relationship very differently, and why understanding your attachment style goes far beyond simply giving yourself a label.

Attachment isn’t just about how you behave in relationships. It’s an operating system influencing how you interpret, experience, and respond to love.

If you’ve ever wondered “Why do I keep choosing the same type of person?” “Why do I react this way in relationships?” or “Why does my partner respond so differently than I do?”—this episode will help you begin connecting the dots.

🎙️ The Dr. Sarah Hensley Show explores the science behind love, attachment, attraction, relationships, and human behavior.

Tune in every Tuesday morning for candid conversations, expert insights, and the guidance you need to navigate love and relationships in today’s world. For more information on Dr. Hensley’s offerings, explore the links below and connect with her on social media.

Patreon link: patreon.com/TheDrSarahHensleyShow

Dr. Hensley’s Hybrid Group Coaching: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/group-coaching

Individual Coaching: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/pick-your-coach/

Couples Coaching: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/pick-your-coach-couples/.

Purchase Dr. Hensley’s online courses: https://doctorsarahhensley.com/courses/

Tik-Tok: @drsarahhensley

Instagram: @dr.sarahhensley

Facebook: Dr. Sarah Hensley

Youtube: @Dr.SarahHensley

Disclaimer: The content shared on this podcast reflects personal experiences, opinions, and perspectives. The stories told are based on real-life events as remembered and interpreted by the hosts and guests. While we may discuss past relationships, custody matters, or personal dynamics, we do so from our point of view and with the intention of healing, education, and advocacy.

Identities are not disclosed unless already publicly known or permitted, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental unless explicitly stated. The information provided is not intended to defame, malign, or harm any individual or entity.

We do not offer legal advice or psychological diagnosis. Listeners are encouraged to consult with professionals regarding their specific circumstances.

By listening to this podcast, you agree that the hosts are not liable for any losses, damages, or misunderstandings arising from its content.

Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-dr-sarah-hensley-show--6390558/support.