The School Can't Experience

Consulting nurse Laura Hellfeld joins host Leisa Reichelt to explore one of the least-talked-about challenges facing School Can't families - hygiene and self-care.

When young people are in burnout, the capacity for everyday self-care tasks like showering, brushing teeth and eating can quietly disappear, often leaving parents feeling confused, worried, and like they're somehow failing.

Laura explains why this happens, drawing on nervous system science, interoception, sensory processing and the body's response to trauma and chronic stress. She offers a compassionate, practical framework for understanding what's really going on and how to respond.

This episode covers why declining self-care is a signal worth paying attention to (not a behaviour problem to push through), why centering the person rather than the task makes all the difference, and how joy, self-expression and identity can be unexpected but powerful pathways back to body connection and care.

Laura also shares her perspective on burnout as a medical condition, the unrecognised physical health needs that often sit underneath it, and why protecting your relationship with your young person is the most important thing you can do right now.

If this podcast or the School Can't Australia community has helped you, please consider making a donation or volunteering to help.  https://www.schoolcantaustralia.com.au/get-involved#donate

Resources & support

Laura’s Resources:
 Laura’s Resources and Newsletter on Substack - https://laurahellfeld.substack.com/
ND Nurse Consulting Webpage - https://laurahellfeld.co.uk/
Laura on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/laura-hellfeld-nd-nurse-consulting/
Laura on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/LauratheNeurodivergentNurse
Book - Flush Forward!: A Friendly Toileting Guide for Parents Supporting Disabled and Neurodivergent Young People - https://www.amazon.com.au/Flush-Forward-Toileting-Supporting-Neurodivergent/dp/1399830864
Book- Creating Safe Spaces for Autistic People - https://www.amazon.com.au/Colour-Reduced-Version-Creating-Autistic/dp/B0D12TZ8M3
Book - Gabby’s Glimmers : An Affirming Story of an Autistic Child and their Favourite Food - https://www.amazon.com.au/Gabbys-Glimmers-Alice-McSweeney/dp/1399997858

Mentioned in the episode:
Katie Munday - https://autisticltd.co.uk/
Autistic Burnout Network Conference, June 5-6 2026 - https://www.autisticadvocate.co.uk/autistic-burnout-conference
Book: How to keep house while drowning, KC Davis - https://www.amazon.com.au/dp/B09QMRTK1C/
Book: The Autism Friendly Guide to Periods, Robyn Steward  - https://www.amazon.com.au/Autism-Friendly-Guide-Periods-Robyn-Steward/dp/1785923242
Book: The growing up book - An Inclusive Guide to Puberty and Your Changing Body - Rachel Greener and Clare Owen - https://www.amazon.com.au/Growing-Up-Inclusive-Puberty-Changing/dp/1839947004/
Book: The Everybody Book of Consent - An LGBTQIA-Inclusive Guide to Respecting Boundaries, Bodies, and Beyond by Rachel E. Simon, https://www.amazon.com.au/Every-Body-Book-Consent-LGBTQIA-Inclusive/dp/1839976837/
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Support the show
School Can’t Australia Facebook Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/schoolphobiaschoolrefusalaustralia
If this podcast or the School Can’t Australia community has helped you, please consider making a donation or volunteering to help. Find out more here: https://www.schoolcantaustralia.com.au/get-involved#donate

If this episode helped you please take a moment to subscribe, rate, or review the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. It genuinely helps other School Can't families find us.
If you are a parent of carer in Australia and experiencing distress, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or contact the Parent Help Line. - https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/issues/how-parentline-can-help-you
You can contact us to volunteer to share your School Can't story or some feedback via email on [email protected]
Disclaimer
The content of this podcast is based on personal lived experiences and is shared for informational and storytelling purposes only. It should not be treated as medical, psychological, or professional advice under any circumstances. If you have concerns about your health or well-being, please seek guidance from a doctor, therapist,...

Corinne Smith describes herself as a "reluctant homeschooler". Someone who never planned to be home educating, but who found herself there after her child experienced School Can't from preschool onwards, through multiple school settings, including Montessori.

Rather than retreat, Corinne founded KinHub,  a registered charity in Sydney's Inner West. Kinhub is a a community built specifically for kids who don't fit into mainstream school and the families who are holding it all together alongside them. In this episode, Corinne shares:

What School Can't looked like for her family, from difficult goodbyes at preschool to being carried through the school gate
The role PDA played in their journey through mainstream and Montessori settings
How they approached deschooling and why she thinks it matters more for parents than for kids
The financial realities of stepping back from work to homeschool, and supports that may be available
What KinHub actually looks like — and why it's built the way it is
The Unseen, Unheard, Unstoppable art exhibition that gave 35 kids a public voice

This one will resonate with families who are weighing up homeschooling and feel like they're about to lose everything that came with school. And it will inspire anyone who has wondered whether they could do something useful with a very hard situation.

About Corinne and KinHub
Email Corinne: [email protected]
KinHub website: kinhub.org.au
KinHub on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/KinHubAu/
KinHub Art Exhibition in the News: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2026-04-20/sydney-school-cant-children-exibit-artwork-part-of-kinhub-scheme/106576750

Government Benefits for Home Education and Distance Education

Assistance for Isolated Children Payment (NSW) - https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/assistance-for-isolated-children-scheme
Jobseeker Payment, Exemptions for Principal Carers (Home Education and Distance Education) - https://www.servicesaustralia.gov.au/exemptions-from-mutual-obligation-requirements-for-principal-carers?context=60097#homeschooling

Challenging the Education Orthodoxy

Video: Do schools kill creativity? (Sir Ken Robinson, TED talk) - https://youtu.be/iG9CE55wbtY
John Taylor Gatto, (Book) Weapons of Mass Instruction https://www.amazon.com.au/Weapons-Mass-Instruction-Schoolteachers-Compulsory/dp/0865716692
John Taylor Gatto, (Book) Dumbing Us Down https://www.amazon.com.au/Dumbing-Down-Curriculum-Compulsory-Schooling/dp/0865718547/
Sir Ken Robinson and Lou Aronica (Book) Creative Schools: The Grassroots Revolution That's Transforming Education https://www.amazon.com.au/Creative-Schools-Grassroots-Revolution-Transforming/dp/0143108069 
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Support the show
School Can’t Australia Facebook Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/schoolphobiaschoolrefusalaustralia
If this podcast or the School Can’t Australia community has helped you, please consider making a donation or volunteering to help. Find out more here: https://www.schoolcantaustralia.com.au/get-involved#donate

If this episode helped you please take a moment to subscribe, rate, or review the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. It genuinely helps other School Can't families find us.
If you are a parent of carer in Australia and experiencing distress, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or contact the Parent Help Line. - https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/issues/how-parentline-can-help-you
You can contact us to volunteer to share your School Can't story or some feedback via email on [email protected]
Disclaimer
The content of this podcast is based on personal lived experiences and is shared for informational and storytelling purposes only. It should not be treated as medical, psychological, or professional advice under any circumstances. If you have concerns about your health or well-being, please seek guidance from a doctor, therapist,...

Judith came across School Can't Australia on the internet and suddenly, something that had puzzled her for over sixty years finally had a name.
Now 66, Judith grew up missing roughly half her schooling. Nobody called it School Can't. Nobody really knew what to do. And for most of her adult life, she'd assumed her experience was unique until she stumbled across the School Can't community and realised how familiar her story would sound to families navigating this today.
In this episode, Judith looks back on her experience with the perspective only six decades can bring, and shares:
The early signs and how they compounded into a pattern nobody had the language to explain
Why the conversations that might have helped never happened 
What she now believes she actually needed, and how different it looks from simply being made to attend school
What happened to her education, her career, and her life and why it turned out better than anyone might have predicted
Judith's story is a reminder that School Can't is not new and that the cost of misunderstanding it has always been real. It's also, ultimately, a hopeful one.
This one is for families in the middle of it who need to hear that life on the other side is possible. And for educators and health professionals who want to understand what it looks like from the inside, across a whole lifetime.
Send us Fan Mail
Support the show
School Can’t Australia Facebook Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/schoolphobiaschoolrefusalaustralia
If this podcast or the School Can’t Australia community has helped you, please consider making a donation or volunteering to help. Find out more here: https://www.schoolcantaustralia.com.au/get-involved#donate

If this episode helped you please take a moment to subscribe, rate, or review the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. It genuinely helps other School Can't families find us.
If you are a parent of carer in Australia and experiencing distress, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or contact the Parent Help Line. - https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/issues/how-parentline-can-help-you
You can contact us to volunteer to share your School Can't story or some feedback via email on [email protected]
Disclaimer
The content of this podcast is based on personal lived experiences and is shared for informational and storytelling purposes only. It should not be treated as medical, psychological, or professional advice under any circumstances. If you have concerns about your health or well-being, please seek guidance from a doctor, therapist,...

We've just passed 50 episodes of The School Can't Experience — and many of those have been lived experience episodes: families coming on to tell us what School Can't has actually been like for them in real life.
In going back through all of those episodes to prepare this one, something became very clear. Different families, different states, different children, different journeys — but so many of the same themes appearing again and again
Episodes mentioned — listen to the full stories
Ep 7 — Emma G's Lived Experience
Ep 9 — Jennie's Lived Experience
Ep 10 — Marissa's Lived Experience Pt 1
Ep 11 — Marissa's Lived Experience Pt 2
Ep 18 — Mark's Lived Experience
Ep 23 — Eliza Fricker's Lived Experience
Ep 24 — Jane's Lived Experience
Ep 25 — Nicola's Lived Experience
Ep 26 — Kate & Daniel's Lived Experience

Send us Fan Mail
Support the show
School Can’t Australia Facebook Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/schoolphobiaschoolrefusalaustralia
If this podcast or the School Can’t Australia community has helped you, please consider making a donation or volunteering to help. Find out more here: https://www.schoolcantaustralia.com.au/get-involved#donate

If this episode helped you please take a moment to subscribe, rate, or review the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. It genuinely helps other School Can't families find us.
If you are a parent of carer in Australia and experiencing distress, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or contact the Parent Help Line. - https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/issues/how-parentline-can-help-you
You can contact us to volunteer to share your School Can't story or some feedback via email on [email protected]
Disclaimer
The content of this podcast is based on personal lived experiences and is shared for informational and storytelling purposes only. It should not be treated as medical, psychological, or professional advice under any circumstances. If you have concerns about your health or well-being, please seek guidance from a doctor, therapist,...

Play and filial therapist Dr. Kate Renshaw joins host Leisa Reichelt to explore how play therapy can support children and families experiencing School Can’t, especially when kids struggle with traditional talk-based therapies. 
Kate describes why play therapy is developmentally sensitive and how the family-based approach, filial therapy can be powerful for both parent and child. She discusses creating consistent, relationally safe support across home and school. 
This episode also explores Kate’s evidence-based Teacher’s Optimal Relationship Approach (TORA), designed to help teachers use play-therapy-informed relational skills in everyday classroom interactions. Kate highlights research showing the student–teacher relationship is a key predictor of school attendance. They discuss practical ways families can “lean into play,” including joining children in their interests and screen-based play.
Relevant resources;
Play and Filial Therapy (Kate’s practice) -https://www.playandfilialtherapy.com/

Kate on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.katerenshaw/
Kate on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/p/Play-Filial-Therapy-100057567515430/
Kate on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dr-play
Australasia Pacific Play Therapy Association (Find a Therapist) - https://appta.org.au/
62% of Children reporting maltreatment: https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-04-03/major-child-maltreatment-report-findings/102160726
Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs): Summary of evidence and impacts - https://emergingminds.com.au/resources/adverse-childhood-experiences-aces-summary-of-evidence-and-impacts/
Send us Fan Mail
Support the show
School Can’t Australia Facebook Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/schoolphobiaschoolrefusalaustralia
If this podcast or the School Can’t Australia community has helped you, please consider making a donation or volunteering to help. Find out more here: https://www.schoolcantaustralia.com.au/get-involved#donate

If this episode helped you please take a moment to subscribe, rate, or review the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. It genuinely helps other School Can't families find us.
If you are a parent of carer in Australia and experiencing distress, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or contact the Parent Help Line. - https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/issues/how-parentline-can-help-you
You can contact us to volunteer to share your School Can't story or some feedback via email on [email protected]
Disclaimer
The content of this podcast is based on personal lived experiences and is shared for informational and storytelling purposes only. It should not be treated as medical, psychological, or professional advice under any circumstances. If you have concerns about your health or well-being, please seek guidance from a doctor, therapist,...