The School Can't Experience

Millie Carr is an educator, inclusive outreach coach, and late-diagnosed AuDHDer who has spent years supporting schools to build more inclusive environments through her Unmasking Education work. She's also a parent, her daughter, diagnosed autistic in grade one, is now in year 12 and completing Virtual Schools Victoria after years of high-masking at school took its toll.
In this conversation, Millie and Leisa dig into what masking actually is and why assuming it's a conscious choice gets us into trouble. Masking can be entirely unconscious, and for many of our young people it's not just adjusting behaviour for context. It's a full-scale suppression of natural responses just to get through the day.
Millie introduces the Coke bottle analogy to explain what's happening when kids hold it together at school and explode at home or, just as concerning, hold it everywhere until burnout forces a complete shutdown. She also talks about the students who are even harder to spot: the perfectionists, the ones who never ask for help, the ones who seem to be doing brilliantly until they suddenly can't get out of bed.
The conversation moves into what schools can practically do differently and Millie makes a compelling case that the answer isn't more IEPs. It's Universal Design for Learning: building classrooms where every student has access to choice, where supports aren't singled out, and where the culture normalises different brains working differently. She describes her own classroom capacity check-in as one example of how that can look in practice.
For parents who've been told "she's fine here, it must be something at home" this episode will be both validating and useful.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Unmasking Education on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/unmasking.education
Millie’s website: https://www.unmaskingeducation.com.au/
Millie's masking course  Classcover Learn: https://www.classcoverlearn.com.au/course/masking-and-unmasking-in-the-school-setting
CAST Universal Design for Learning framework: https://udlguidelines.cast.org/
Novak Education Guide to Universal Design for Learning (UDL): https://www.novakeducation.com/guide-to-udl
Ilume Learning: professional development in UDL: https://illumelearning.com.au/
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School Can’t Australia Facebook Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/schoolphobiaschoolrefusalaustralia
If this podcast or the School Can’t Australia community has helped you, please consider making a donation or volunteering to help. Find out more here: https://www.schoolcantaustralia.com.au/get-involved#donate

If this episode helped you please take a moment to subscribe, rate, or review the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. It genuinely helps other School Can't families find us.
If you are a parent of carer in Australia and experiencing distress, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or contact the Parent Help Line. - https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/issues/how-parentline-can-help-you
You can contact us to volunteer to share your School Can't story or some feedback via email on schoolcantpodcast@gmail.com
Disclaimer
The content of this podcast is based on personal lived experiences and is shared for informational and storytelling purposes only. It should not be treated as medical, psychological, or professional advice under any circumstances. If you have concerns about your health or well-being, please seek guidance from a doctor, therapist,...

We're wrapping up our school holidays break with this foundational episode, and if you've only just found us, this is a great place to start.
Dr Ross Greene is the founder of the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) model and the author of The Explosive Child and The Kids Who Aren't Okay: The Urgent Case for Reimagining Support, Belonging, and Hope in Schools. 
His core principle, that kids do well if they can, sits at the heart of how School Can't Australia approaches support for families, and it comes up again and again in the stories parents share on this podcast.
In this conversation, hosts Leisa Reichelt and School Can't Australia's Louise Rogers talk with Dr Greene about what CPS actually looks like when a young person is struggling to attend school. The model starts from a simple but radical premise: school avoidance is a behaviour, not a problem. The problem is whatever is making school hard — and you can't solve it without asking the young person.
Dr Greene walks through the three-step CPS process — the empathy step, the define adult concerns step, and the invitation step — and what each looks like in the messy reality of a child who won't, or can't, talk about what's wrong. He also covers Plan A, Plan B, and Plan C, and makes a clear case for why putting some expectations on hold isn't permissive parenting — it's strategic prioritising.
If you're still in the early stages of understanding why your young person is struggling, or you've been trying to "fix" school attendance without much luck, this episode will reframe how you think about the whole situation.
Resources mentioned in this episode:
Lives in the Balance — free CPS resources: livesinthebalance.org
The Kids who Aren't OK (book) - https://www.booktopia.com.au/the-kids-who-aren-t-okay-ross-w-greene/book/9781668203903.html
The Essential Conversation by Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot - https://www.booktopia.com.au/the-essential-conversation-sara-lawrence-lightfoot/book/9780345475800.html
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Support the show
School Can’t Australia Facebook Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/schoolphobiaschoolrefusalaustralia
If this podcast or the School Can’t Australia community has helped you, please consider making a donation or volunteering to help. Find out more here: https://www.schoolcantaustralia.com.au/get-involved#donate

If this episode helped you please take a moment to subscribe, rate, or review the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. It genuinely helps other School Can't families find us.
If you are a parent of carer in Australia and experiencing distress, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or contact the Parent Help Line. - https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/issues/how-parentline-can-help-you
You can contact us to volunteer to share your School Can't story or some feedback via email on schoolcantpodcast@gmail.com
Disclaimer
The content of this podcast is based on personal lived experiences and is shared for informational and storytelling purposes only. It should not be treated as medical, psychological, or professional advice under any circumstances. If you have concerns about your health or well-being, please seek guidance from a doctor, therapist,...

We're taking a short break over the school holidays. We'll be back with some great new episodes very soon! Meanwhile, here is a classic listener episode in case you missed it, or worth listening again.
Esther Jones unschooled all three of her children and now supports parents around the world through their own unschooling journeys via courses, her podcast, and her book, The Parents' Guide to Unschooling Yourself.
In this conversation, Leisa and Esther dig into what unschooling actually is (and isn't), why so many families find their way to it through the trauma of School Can't rather than by choice, and why the biggest stumbling block is almost always the parents, not the young people.
In this conversation they cover: the difference between unschooling and simply doing school at home; what "enough" actually looks like when your child is in burnout and spending their days gaming; how parental anxiety and the need for proof of learning can quietly undermine the very space you're trying to create; and the link between parental self-compassion and nervous system co-regulation.
Esther also shares what happened when her own children, raised entirely outside the school system, eventually chose to re-enter formal education, and what that tells us about the long-term outcomes families worry about most.
If you're contemplating the possibility of home education, feeling like you're failing, or struggling to let go of what learning is "supposed" to look like, we think this episode will help.
Resources from this episode:
Esther Jones’ Website - https://www.esther-jones.com/
The Parents Guide to Unschooling Yourself - https://www.booktopia.com.au/the-parent-s-handbook-to-unschooling-yourself-esther-jones/
The Unschool Space (Facebook) - https://www.facebook.com/TheUnschoolSpace/
The Unschooling Summit - https://www.theunschoolingsummit.org/
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Support the show
School Can’t Australia Facebook Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/schoolphobiaschoolrefusalaustralia
If this podcast or the School Can’t Australia community has helped you, please consider making a donation or volunteering to help. Find out more here: https://www.schoolcantaustralia.com.au/get-involved#donate

If this episode helped you please take a moment to subscribe, rate, or review the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. It genuinely helps other School Can't families find us.
If you are a parent of carer in Australia and experiencing distress, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or contact the Parent Help Line. - https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/issues/how-parentline-can-help-you
You can contact us to volunteer to share your School Can't story or some feedback via email on schoolcantpodcast@gmail.com
Disclaimer
The content of this podcast is based on personal lived experiences and is shared for informational and storytelling purposes only. It should not be treated as medical, psychological, or professional advice under any circumstances. If you have concerns about your health or well-being, please seek guidance from a doctor, therapist,...

We're taking a short break over the school holidays, so this week we're revisiting one of our favourite episodes from the archive.
Emma Brooksby , Managing Director at U&I Educational Partners, ADHDer, and former school principal, joins Leisa to unpack executive function: the set of skills that let us plan, manage time, switch between tasks, and regulate our emotions. Emma explains why these skills aren't directly taught at school (they develop largely "through osmosis"), and why that creates a hidden, compounding load for young people who experience executive dysfunction - one that can tip into the anxiety and overwhelm at the heart of many School Can't experiences.
Emma and Leisa walk through the four big areas where this shows up at school - planning and organisation, task initiation, time management, and emotional regulation, using everyday examples (lost jumpers, forgotten textbooks, the dread of starting homework) to show how quickly small breakdowns escalate into shame, anxiety, and avoidance.
They also talk practical strategies: why removing scaffolding too early backfires, how AI tools like Goblin Tools' Magic To Do can break overwhelming tasks into manageable steps, and why "just get started" is rarely as simple as it sounds.
Recommended Resources
U&I Educational Partners - https://www.uandi.com.au/
Goblin Tools, Magic To Do - https://goblin.tools/
Harvard Centre on the Developing Child - https://developingchild.harvard.edu/
Learning to Plan and be Organised (book) by Kathleen Nadeau  - https://www.amazon.com.au/Learning-Plan-Be-Organized-Executive/dp/1433822172
Send us Fan Mail
Support the show
School Can’t Australia Facebook Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/schoolphobiaschoolrefusalaustralia
If this podcast or the School Can’t Australia community has helped you, please consider making a donation or volunteering to help. Find out more here: https://www.schoolcantaustralia.com.au/get-involved#donate

If this episode helped you please take a moment to subscribe, rate, or review the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. It genuinely helps other School Can't families find us.
If you are a parent of carer in Australia and experiencing distress, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or contact the Parent Help Line. - https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/issues/how-parentline-can-help-you
You can contact us to volunteer to share your School Can't story or some feedback via email on schoolcantpodcast@gmail.com
Disclaimer
The content of this podcast is based on personal lived experiences and is shared for informational and storytelling purposes only. It should not be treated as medical, psychological, or professional advice under any circumstances. If you have concerns about your health or well-being, please seek guidance from a doctor, therapist,...

Send us Fan Mail
Support the show
School Can’t Australia Facebook Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/schoolphobiaschoolrefusalaustralia
If this podcast or the School Can’t Australia community has helped you, please consider making a donation or volunteering to help. Find out more here: https://www.schoolcantaustralia.com.au/get-involved#donate

If this episode helped you please take a moment to subscribe, rate, or review the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts. It genuinely helps other School Can't families find us.
If you are a parent of carer in Australia and experiencing distress, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14 or contact the Parent Help Line. - https://kidshelpline.com.au/parents/issues/how-parentline-can-help-you
You can contact us to volunteer to share your School Can't story or some feedback via email on schoolcantpodcast@gmail.com
Disclaimer
The content of this podcast is based on personal lived experiences and is shared for informational and storytelling purposes only. It should not be treated as medical, psychological, or professional advice under any circumstances. If you have concerns about your health or well-being, please seek guidance from a doctor, therapist,...