ADHD Mums

The birthday of ADHD Mums came and went and I didn't celebrate. I'd spent a whole season demanding a seat at the table. By the end of it I was in bed, couldn't walk, getting diagnosed with perimenopause mid-record, and a friend asked me one question that broke the whole thing open. Supportive of what?
What We Cover
The launch episode promise — "no more explaining, just strategy" — and why I delivered it and still feel like I lied
Two lipedema operations, four months unable to walk, demanding a seat at the table from a hospital bed
The cooked roast chicken after the C-section, and what I now call that "badge of honour"
Crying mid-record with Dr Sunita Chelva and getting diagnosed with perimenopause to my face
Reading the DSM at 15, walking into my parents' room, and being told to sweep it under the rug
Why I gave up on the NDIS politicians — Mark Butler, the budget line, the room with no lived experience
The premiers and health ministers messaging me now to re-announce nothing
The friend who said 'Supportive of what?' and broke the whole season open
What it costs to be the high-functioning ADHD woman who could do it all
Why the strategy episodes were never the ones that landed — the identity episodes were
The scheduled five-minute breakdown in the car, the wipe, the smile
A million downloads, and what you've been doing for me without knowing it
I'm not your guide. I'm the woman next to you in the car park.

Related Episodes
S3 EP50: HORMONES — When Hormones Hijack the Mind: ADHD, Perimenopause & Emotional Burnout — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-50-hormones-when-hormones-hijack-the-mind-adhd-perimenopause-emotional-burnout/
S3 EP52: HORMONES — When HRT Isn't Enough: Mum Rage & Perimenopause Explained — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-52-hormones-when-hrt-isnt-enough-mum-rage-perimenopause-explained/
S3 EP35: You Were the Good Girl. That's Why You're Falling Apart Now — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-35-you-were-the-good-girl-thats-why-youre-falling-apart-now/
S3: Overstimulated Before 7am (Rachel Few) — https://adhdmums.com.au/adhd-podcast-episodes/rachel-few/
S3 EP4: The Advanced ADHD + Neurodivergence Myths.. Busted — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-4-the-advanced-adhd-neurodivergence-myths-busted/

📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
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https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

Sorry I'm late. I have ADHD. So does my friend. She's sitting at the coffee shop halfway through her first one, watching me sweat through the door twenty minutes late. Same diagnosis. Different morning. Different brain doing the work behind it.
What We Cover
The vein surgery saga — three appointments, three completely different outcomes, same brain
The receptionist who handed me the appointment card like a library card and the one who didn't
Why "set more alarms, leave earlier" is the equivalent of telling someone with low blood sugar to just have more energy
The four types of ADHD time blindness — petrol gauge stuck on full, the car that won't start, the GPS that lies, the seatbelt warning that's late
Why your strategies haven't worked — because they were built for someone else's type
What actually works for each one — visual time, body doubling, departure rituals, calibration with a stopwatch, manufactured deadlines
Why "I left heaps of time" keeps being true and untrue at the same time
The 40-50% rule — adults with ADHD underestimate task time by half. Double it. Then add buffer.
Why the friend at the coffee shop at five to nine isn't more disciplined — she's borrowing structure from her environment
What collapses on school holidays, sick days, working from home, and what that tells you about which strategies are actually holding you up
The estrogen/dopamine link — why the same brain at 32 isn't the same brain at 42

Free Resource
Time Blindness Jotform — figure out which of the four types you actually have, then find the support that fits: https://adhdmums.com.au/ (on Jane's website)
Energy Accounting Guide — for the dopamine/load piece: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-mums-energy-accounting-guide/
Free Resources Library: https://adhdmums.com.au/product-category/free-resources/
Paid Resource
ADHD Reset Workbook — Values, Energy & Planning: https://adhdmums.com.au/product/adhd-planner-and-values/
Related Episodes
S3 EP24: QUICK RESET — The ADHD Myth of 'Just Try Harder' — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-24-quick-reset-the-adhd-myth-of-just-try-harder/
S3 EP50: HORMONES — When Hormones Hijack the Mind: ADHD, Perimenopause & Emotional Burnout — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-50-hormones-when-hormones-hijack-the-mind-adhd-perimenopause-emotional-burnout/
S2 EP67: Why Routines Always Seem to Fail for ADHD Families — and How to Fix Them — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-67-why-routines-always-seem-to-fail-for-adhd-families-and-how-to-fix-them/
S3 EP49: QUICK RESET — "I'm Not Lazy — My House Just Doesn't Have a Memory" — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-49-quick-reset-im-not-lazy-my-house-just-doesnt-have-a-memory/

📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
https://wa.me/61403457313
✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

You take your child to the doctor. You tell them this isn't fussy, this isn't a phase. They tell you he'll grow out of it. Maybe it's his tonsils. Maybe you're anxious. Maybe your boundaries aren't strong enough. You leave the appointment knowing something isn't right, and starting to wonder if the something is you.
What We Cover
Why ARFID gets missed for years while professionals chase tonsils, grommets, and dental work
What happens when every silver bullet surgery makes zero difference and the grief that follows
The cruise ship that didn't work, the buffet that didn't work, the Woolworths smuggling run that came too late
Refeeding syndrome — when your malnourished child's body goes into shock from being fed
The PEG surgery, the six-week wait that should've been six months, and a five-year-old dancing in the lounge room for the first time
The cognitive impact of three years of malnutrition and the guilt of not pushing harder, sooner
Why mum's intuition keeps being right while siloed specialists keep passing the buck
The mental load of cooking the same crepe, the same rice mound, the washed meatballs — every single day
What it costs to keep advocating when no one believes you

More About Tracy
Free Resource
Facebook Group — for parents in this loop who need other mums who get it: https://facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast
External Support Tracy Mentions
Eating Disorders Families Australia (EDFA)
Butterfly Foundation

Paid Resource
The Meltdown & Shutdown Guide for Mums & Children
https://adhdmums.com.au/product/navigating-meltdowns-strategies-for-parents/
Episodes on ARFID & Tracy's last episode
S3 EP58: Things That Look Like Bad Parenting But Are Actually Neurodivergence (Tracy) — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-58-neurodivergence-and-parenting
S2 EP81: You've Tried Everything… They Still Won't Eat: Real Strategies for ARFID at Home — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-81-youve-tried-everything-they-still-wont-eat-real-strategies-for-arfid-at-home/
S3 EP46: ARFID, Eating Disorders & the Neurodivergent Body: What We Got Wrong (Marie Camin) — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-46-arfid-eating-disorders-the-neurodivergent-body-what-we-got-wrong/

📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
https://wa.me/61403457313
✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

You can talk your daughter down in two minutes. Then you turn around and tell yourself to stop being such a f*cking embarrassment.
Same brain. Same mum. Two completely different voices within minutes.
🧠 What we cover in this episode:
Why you can co-regulate a child in two minutes and tear yourself apart for the rest of the day
The "good girl" reflex and how we absorbed an inward voice between six and twenty-six
Why co-regulation is a directional skill — and most ADHD mums have only built it pointing outward
Why the inward channel isn't empty — it's full of RSD running threat assessment on you
Why "be kinder to yourself" has never worked (and isn't going to)
Why gratitude journals, affirmations, "filling your cup," and "talk to yourself like your best friend" don't fix this
Why softness towards yourself can feel like a threat to the structure holding everything together
The identity layer — being "the regulated one," the calm mum, the one who handles it
The one thing that actually works — and yes, you'll feel ridiculous doing it

💭 This episode is for you if:
📥 Free Resource:
➡️ Energy Accounting Guide — for when you've worked out the cup isn't empty, it's got a hole in the bottom of it. A free guide to figure out where your energy is actually going. 👉 Download here
📓 Want to go deeper?
The ADHD Values & Planner is for when you realise being "the regulated one" has become an identity, not a choice — and you want to find your way back to what actually matters to you. 👉 Get the planner here
🎧 Related Episodes:
S1 EP9: An RSD Story — Taking My Own Advice 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/an-rsd-story-taking-my-own-advice-s1-ep9/
S3 EP35: You Were the Good Girl. That's Why You're Falling Apart Now. 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-35-you-were-the-good-girl-thats-why-youre-falling-apart-now/
S3 EP53: QUICK RESET: Self-Care Feels Nice. Self-Regulation Keeps You Alive. 👉 https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-53-quick-reset-self-care-feels-nice-self-regulation-keeps-you-alive/

📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
https://wa.me/61403457313
✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast

Sometimes the only thing that got you through the day was the iPad.
And then you scrolled past a clip telling you screens are rewiring your kid's brain. Causing ADHD. Making them socially broken. And your stomach dropped.
You weren't being lazy. You were trying to regulate yourself before you said something you'd regret.
But the guilt arrived anyway. Right on cue.
This week, Amanda Moses — senior psychologist, ADHD and autism assessor, the woman who actually trains other psychologists in this space — sits down to go through the Osher Günsberg clip line by line. The one with the neuroscientist claiming 'digital ADHD' is now the majority of cases. The one your mother-in-law sent you. The one that made you feel sick.
Amanda brings the receipts. None of them say what he said they said.
What We Cover
The 'digital ADHD' claim — and what the actual heritability research says (74-80%, by the way)
Why your phone notification is not going to give you a heart attack, no matter how many amygdala fight-or-flight diagrams someone draws
The 'still face' babies story — what the research actually shows about distraction
Why online connection counts — especially for autistic women, regional mums, and anyone who can't just 'turn up to playgroup'
Why this kind of content hurts the women who can't afford a psych session and are already running on guilt

About Amanda:
Check out Amanda's Management Strategies for ADHD.
Check out Amanda's social media here
Amanda's References from this episode:
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11472914/
https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0306910
https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2024.1441191/full
https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s00787-022-02130-3#Sec25
Check out Related Episodes
S2 EP82: ADHD or PTSD? Why So Many Women Are Misdiagnosed (Amanda Moses) https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-82-adhd-or-ptsd-why-so-many-women-are-misdiagnosed-with-amanda-moses/
S3 EP34: Is It Social Anxiety — or Is It Autism (Amanda Moses) — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-34-is-it-social-anxiety-or-is-it-autism-with-amanda-moses/
S3 EP4: The advanced ADHD + Neurodivergence Myths.. Busted — https://adhdmums.com.au/podcast_episode/episode-4-the-advanced-adhd-neurodivergence-myths-busted/

📬 Listener Questions & Community
🎙️ Ask a Listener Question (voice)
Voice notes are preferred when possible — hearing your voice helps add context — but you’re very welcome to submit a written question instead.
Send me a WhatsApp voice message here:
https://wa.me/61403457313
✍️ Ask a Listener Question (written)
https://form.jotform.com/251238118486864
👥 Join the ADHD Mums Facebook Group
For community, shared language, and conversations with other mums who get it.
https://www.facebook.com/groups/adhdmumspodcast