Teaching Autism and Special Education by Nikki

The Function of “I Don’t Care”

Have you ever tried to give a student feedback, only to be met with a shrug, an eye roll, and “I don’t care”?

In this episode, we’re looking beyond the words to explore what “I don’t care” might actually be communicating - because often, it’s not about a lack of caring at all.

We’ll chat about:

Why “I don’t care” can be protective language

How anxiety, embarrassment, and fear of failure can hide behind dismissiveness

The connection between shame and defensive responses

Why caring publicly can feel vulnerable, especially for older students

How emotional overload can make it harder to communicate what’s really going on

What to avoid saying in the moment

How to respond calmly without creating a power struggle

Sometimes “I don’t care” really means “This matters more than I know how to handle.”

So instead of reacting to the words themselves, try asking:

“What might this student be protecting right now?”

Because when we respond to the emotion underneath the words, we create space for regulation, connection, and a much more productive conversation later.

PDA Profiles in the Classroom

Have you ever worked with a student who seems to resist even the smallest everyday demands - sometimes even things they actually want to do?

In this episode, we’re talking about PDA profiles in the classroom and how anxiety, autonomy, and nervous system responses can contribute to extreme demand avoidance.

We’ll chat about:

What a PDA profile can look like in autistic students

Why everyday demands can sometimes trigger such intense reactions

The connection between demand avoidance, anxiety, and autonomy

Why traditional behavior strategies and power struggles can make things worse

Ways to reduce the pressure around everyday classroom demands

How choice, collaboration, and flexible language can support students

Why not every student who avoids demands has a PDA profile

Supporting a demand-avoidant student doesn’t mean removing every expectation or letting them do whatever they want.

Sometimes, the most helpful shift is moving away from “How do I make them comply?” and instead asking:

“How can I lower the threat and increase their sense of autonomy in this moment?”

Rejection Sensitivity and Explosive Reactions

Have you ever given what felt like a tiny piece of feedback, only for a student to have a huge emotional reaction?

In this episode, we’re talking about rejection sensitivity - an intense emotional response to perceived criticism, rejection, or failure that can sometimes lead to tears, anger, defensiveness, shutdown, or refusal.

We’ll chat about:

What rejection sensitivity can look like in neurodivergent students

Why seemingly small corrections can feel so much bigger

How repeated experiences of being corrected can shape a student’s response to feedback

Why explosive reactions aren’t necessarily about manipulation or control

What not to say when a student is already overwhelmed

Simple ways to deliver feedback more safely and effectively

How we can gradually build resilience around mistakes and correction

Understanding rejection sensitivity doesn’t mean avoiding feedback or excusing unsafe behavior.

It means recognizing that sometimes when we say, “Let’s try that again,” a student may hear something completely different.

And understanding that difference can help us respond with care, steadiness, and connection instead of conflict.

Why Behavior Changes With Substitute Teachers

Ever noticed how even your most regulated students can seem completely different when there’s a substitute teacher in the classroom?

In this episode, we’re talking about why behavior can change when a familiar teacher is absent - and why it often has much more to do with predictability, regulation, and nervous system safety than simply “testing the sub.”

We’ll chat about:

Why predictability can be so important for autistic students

How a change in teacher can increase stress and uncertainty

The role familiar adults can play in co-regulation

Why “testing boundaries” may actually be a student gathering information about a new adult

How masking and regulation can change on substitute days

Simple ways to prepare students and make substitute days feel more predictable

What substitute teachers can do to support regulation

When a student behaves differently with a substitute teacher, instead of immediately assuming defiance, consider what changed in their environment.

Because sometimes behavior isn’t about the person standing in front of them.

It’s about the familiar pattern that suddenly changed.

The After-School Restraint Collapse

Have you ever heard, “They’re perfect at school… but the second they get home, they completely fall apart”?

In this episode, we’re talking about after-school restraint collapse - when a child spends the day holding it together, masking, managing sensory input, following expectations, and regulating their emotions, only to release everything once they reach a safe space.

We’ll chat about:

What after-school restraint collapse can look like

Why a child can appear completely “fine” at school but struggle at home

The huge amount of energy that masking and constant self-regulation can require

Why parents and teachers can see two very different sides of the same child

How schools can reduce the build-up of stress throughout the day

Simple ways parents can support decompression after school

Instead of measuring how well a child is coping by how calm they appear at school, we need to consider how much effort that calm might be taking.

Because sometimes the meltdown at the end of the day isn’t about one tiny thing going wrong.

It’s the nervous system finally saying, “I can stop holding it together now.”