The Leftover Pieces: Suicide Loss Conversations

Words matter.
After suicide loss, the things people say—or do not say—can either soften the loneliness or deepen the pain. Grievers are often met with platitudes, awkward silence, spiritual bypassing, invasive questions, or comments that unintentionally place blame where love and compassion are needed most.
In this episode of The Leftover Pieces: Suicide Loss Conversations, Melissa welcomes Shelby Forsythia back to the podcast for a full-circle conversation about grief, language, and what it really means to show up for someone who is grieving. What do grieving moms who have lost a child to suicide hear most frequently and how can we respond?
Shelby is an author, grief coach, and longtime podcaster (current podcast, Grief Grower) whose work has supported thousands of grievers. Her earlier books, Permission to Grieve and Your Grief, Your Way, have been meaningful resources for many people navigating life after loss. Her newest book, Of Course I’m Here Right Now: 3 Actually Helpful Things to Say to Someone Grieving, offers practical, compassionate language for the people who want to support a grieving person but often freeze because they do not know what to say.
Melissa also shares the personal full-circle connection between Shelby’s early podcast, Coming Back, and the beginning of The Leftover Pieces. In the early years after Alex died, when reading felt impossible and survival felt overwhelming, Shelby’s voice was one of the first grief voices that helped Melissa feel less alone. That support became part of the inspiration for creating the suicide-loss and grieving-motherhood podcast she could not find.
Together, Melissa and Shelby explore why common grief comments often hurt, even when they are well intended, and what supporters can say instead.
This conversation focuses especially on grieving mothers after suicide loss and the complicated, painful things they may hear, including:
“You're so strong. I could never survive losing my child.”
“Did you know?”
“At least you have other children.”
“Suicide is selfish. You must be so  (mad/ashamed, etc)?”
“They chose this.”
“Are you sure it was suicide. They were so loved and had so much to live for?”
“How did it happen?”
“Can you help me prevent suicide in someone I love?”
Melissa and Shelby talk about the hidden messages underneath these questions and comments, the trauma responses they can activate, and why suicide loss survivors should not be expected to educate, reassure, or comfort everyone else while they are grieving.
At the heart of this discussion are the three core fears Shelby addresses in her book: the fear that a griever is crazy, the fear that they are alone, and the fear that it will feel this way forever. Against those fears, simple grounded presence can matter more than any polished speech.
This episode is for grieving mothers, suicide loss survivors, and the people who love them. It is also for friends, family members, coworkers, faith communities, and support people who want to do better but are afraid of saying the wrong thing.
You do not need perfect words.
You do need love, compassion, presence, and a little common sense.
In This Episode
Melissa and Shelby discuss:
Why words matter so much after suicide loss
How suicide-safe language helps reduce harm
Why platitudes often make grievers feel more alone
What grieving mothers may hear underneath well-intended comments
Why “I could never survive that” and “you’re so strong” can feel painful
The harm of asking invasive questions about how someone died
Why “did you know?” can activate guilt, blame, and hindsight
Why silence and avoidance can hurt more than imperfect words
How supporters can show up without fixing, minimizing, or disappearing
Shelby’s three actually helpful things to say to someone grieving
How grievers can prepare simple responses before painful comments catch them off guard
Links + Resources
Shelby Forsythia’s website: VISIT HERE
Shelby’s book, Of Course I’m Here Right Now: FIND IT HERE
Shelby’s media kit: https://www.shelbyforsythia.com/media-kit
Link to Shelby's Of Course I'm Here Right Now 10 minute talk on YouTube: https://youtu.be/YU3Yg1ON2Ik
Shelby’s podcast / Grief Grower: LISTEN HERE
Permission to Grieve by Shelby Forsythia: GET IT HERE
Your Grief, Your Way by Shelby Forsythia: GET IT HERE
Click to Send a Text or Voicemail to Melissa
Support the show
__________________________________________________________________________

The Leftover Pieces is Support for Life After Suicide Loss. Click links below

🎙 Leave me a message: Share a question, your story, or your person’s name for a future episode → theleftoverpieces.com/voicemail

Support After Suicide Loss
If you are grieving after suicide loss, you do not have to carry this alone.
Visit The Leftover Pieces for podcast episodes, grief support, resources, and ways to connect with Melissa’s work: https://theleftoverpieces.com 
or Join Melissa’s email list: https://theleftoverpieces.com/join
If you someone you love is in immediate crisis or may be in danger, please call or text 988 in the United States. You can also text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line

Leave me a voicemail here: 🎙 Leave me a message
Long-term grief after child loss does not only show up on birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, or the obviously hard days. Sometimes grief appears in the middle of ordinary life — in a song, a smell, a number, a place, a memory, a show, a laugh, or a moment no one else would understand.
In this episode of Down the Rabbit Hole, Melissa reflects on how child loss continues to live beside us in everyday moments. Not always as a breakdown. Sometimes as memory, connection, love, longing, nervous system activation, or an invitation to pause and notice.
This conversation is especially for grieving mothers learning how to live with long-term grief after child loss and suicide loss — the kind of grief that becomes woven into daily life even as we continue rebuilding, loving, laughing, working, parenting, creating, and carrying our children forward.
In this episode, Melissa talks about:
why ordinary life often holds unexpected grief moments
how long-term grief becomes woven into daily life
why being caught off guard by grief does not mean you are going backward
the difference between grief as activation and grief as connection
how everyday moments can become part of continuing love and legacy
why living forward means life grows large enough to hold grief
how to stay with yourself when grief shows up unexpectedly
I’d love to hear from you. Click this VOICEMAIL LINK to leave me a message :)
Where does grief show up in your ordinary life? Is there a song, smell, phrase, number, food, place, time of day, or everyday moment that unexpectedly brings your child close?
You can also share what helps you stay with yourself when grief appears out of nowhere.
Your reflection may help shape a future episode.
And if this episode resonates with you, please follow the show, share it with another grieving person who may need it, and consider leaving a rating or review. It helps The Leftover Pieces reach more people who are learning how to live after loss.
Leave me a voicemail here: 🎙 Leave me a message
Your reflection may help shape a future episode.

Click to Send a Text or Voicemail to Melissa
Support the show
__________________________________________________________________________

The Leftover Pieces is Support for Life After Suicide Loss. Click links below

🎙 Leave me a message: Share a question, your story, or your person’s name for a future episode → theleftoverpieces.com/voicemail

Support After Suicide Loss
If you are grieving after suicide loss, you do not have to carry this alone.
Visit The Leftover Pieces for podcast episodes, grief support, resources, and ways to connect with Melissa’s work: https://theleftoverpieces.com 
or Join Melissa’s email list: https://theleftoverpieces.com/join
If you someone you love is in immediate crisis or may be in danger, please call or text 988 in the United States. You can also text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line

After child loss by suicide, many grieving mothers do not only miss their child — they also stop trusting themselves.
In this episode of Down the Rabbit Hole, Melissa explores one of the most under-talked-about parts of long-term grief after the loss of a child by suicide: the collapse of self-trust.
This is not only about early grief guilt. This episode looks at what can happen later, when guilt becomes woven into identity, motherhood, self-worth, and the way a grieving mother sees herself.
In this episode, Melissa talks about:
why suicide loss can make mothers question everything they thought they knew
how guilt can quietly become part of long-term grief
why “guilt is not the same thing as truth”
how suicide loss can filter a lifetime of love through the worst day
the difference between responsibility and control
why not being able to save your child does not mean you were not a good mother
how self-trust, self-worth, and motherhood become tangled after child loss
why the nervous system has to learn safety again
what it can look like to begin trusting yourself in small, honest ways
why rebuilding self-trust does not mean forgetting what happened
This episode is part of the larger Down the Rabbit Hole conversation about what happens after survival — when grief changes shape, identity feels unfamiliar, and grieving mothers begin asking deeper “now what?” questions.
Free Support Spaces Mentioned
You Are Not Alone — free monthly support space for grieving mothers navigating child loss and suicide loss: REGISTER HERE
The Bridge Sessions: Inside The Rebuilding Room — free monthly guided rebuilding space for mothers asking deeper questions about identity, self-trust, and living forward after loss: REGISTER HERE
If this episode resonates with you, please follow the show, share it with another grieving mother who may need it, and consider leaving a rating or review. 
It helps The Leftover Pieces reach more grieving people who are learning how to live after loss.

Click to Send a Text or Voicemail to Melissa
Support the show
__________________________________________________________________________

The Leftover Pieces is Support for Life After Suicide Loss. Click links below

🎙 Leave me a message: Share a question, your story, or your person’s name for a future episode → theleftoverpieces.com/voicemail

Support After Suicide Loss
If you are grieving after suicide loss, you do not have to carry this alone.
Visit The Leftover Pieces for podcast episodes, grief support, resources, and ways to connect with Melissa’s work: https://theleftoverpieces.com 
or Join Melissa’s email list: https://theleftoverpieces.com/join
If you someone you love is in immediate crisis or may be in danger, please call or text 988 in the United States. You can also text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line

After child loss by suicide, legacy can become a bridge from survival into connection, meaning, and carrying love forward.
In this episode of Down the Rabbit Hole, Melissa reads her chapter from Because They Lived: Memories & Stories of Amazing Kids Lost to Suicide - As Told by the Moms They Left Behind --Volume 7, The chapter is titled “The Seventh Thread: What Alex Taught Me About Legacy.”
This episode is part reflection, part chapter reading, and part invitation to think differently about legacy after loss. What began as a project to help mothers preserve their children’s stories slowly became something deeper: a way to continue relationship, carry love forward, and begin rebuilding after survival.
In this episode, Melissa reflects on:
why the number 7 became meaningful after Alex’s death
how The Legacy Project began as a way to remember children
why legacy is about more than preserving memories
how story, writing, and connection can become a bridge after child loss
what seven volumes and twenty-one children have taught her about love
why legacy does not have to look public, polished, or like anyone else’s path
how each grieving mother may discover her own bridge forward
Melissa also shares why Volume 7 feels like the natural completion of this version of The Legacy Project, while still leaving room for future story, legacy, and publishing support in other forms.

Because They Lived: Volume 7   is not only Alex’s story. It is also the story of the mothers and children who walked through this final Legacy Project volume with me — Suzanne for Skyler, Roe for Molly, Lou for Liam and Kim for Carson— each one honored with tenderness, courage, and love. In fact, across all 7 volumes, twenty-one children and twenty-one mothers have now been represented in these pages, creating a collective legacy of lives remembered fully, names spoken with love, and stories carried forward. Take a look at the Amazon link below OR if you do not wish to own the books, you can always email melissa directly for a free link to the eBook - while these books are priced very close to publishing costs, Melissa never wants anything to stand in the way of others reading these stories, saying their names... melissa@theleftoverpieces.com
Resources Mentioned
Read Because They Lived: Volume 7 on Amazon: AMAZON BOOK LINK
View all of Melissa’s books (Inc. Vol 1-6 of the Legacy project) on Amazon: AMAZON AUTHOR PAGE LINK
Story, legacy, and publishing support: WORK WITH ME LINK
You Are Not Alone Moms Support — Always FREE monthly support space for grieving mothers: REGISTER HERE
The Bridge Sessions: Inside The Rebuilding Room — Always FREE monthly guided rebuilding space for grieving mothers: REGISTER HERE
If this episode resonates with you, please follow the show, share it with another grieving mother who may need it, and consider leaving a rating or review. 
It helps The Leftover Pieces reach more grieving people who are learning how to live after loss. Thank you so very much -- Melissa

Click to Send a Text or Voicemail to Melissa
Support the show
__________________________________________________________________________

The Leftover Pieces is Support for Life After Suicide Loss. Click links below

🎙 Leave me a message: Share a question, your story, or your person’s name for a future episode → theleftoverpieces.com/voicemail

Support After Suicide Loss
If you are grieving after suicide loss, you do not have to carry this alone.
Visit The Leftover Pieces for podcast episodes, grief support, resources, and ways to connect with Melissa’s work: https://theleftoverpieces.com 
or Join Melissa’s email list: https://theleftoverpieces.com/join
If you someone you love is in immediate crisis or may be in danger, please call or text 988 in the United States. You can also text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line

What happens when you survive the earliest years of grief, but no longer recognize yourself?
In this episode of Down the Rabbit Hole, Melissa explores the identity crisis many grieving mothers face after the loss of a child by suicide — especially once the earliest survival years begin to shift and the deeper “now what?” questions rise.
This episode explores:
why survival takes so much emotional, physical, and nervous system energy
why identity may not be accessible in early grief
the painful realization that the old life and old self do not simply return
why functioning is not the same as feeling whole
how child loss changes the shape of motherhood
why suicide loss can deeply damage self-trust
the grief of the “before me” and the “after me”
why long-term grief can feel so lonely
why rebuilding identity is not a betrayal of your child
gentle reflection questions for beginning to ask, “Who am I now?”
If you are a grieving mother in the earlier survival space, you are welcome in You Are Not Alone, my free monthly online support space for mothers navigating child loss and suicide loss.
FREE RESOURCES for MOMS:
If you are beginning to ask deeper questions like “Who am I now?” or “What happens after survival?” I invite you to join The Bridge Sessions: Inside The Rebuilding Room, my free monthly guided gathering for grieving mothers learning how to live forward after loss.
Links to both free spaces are below:
 The Bridge Sessions; Inside the Rebuilding Room- Register Here 
 You Are Not Alone; Support Group - Register Here 
If this episode resonated with you, please follow the show, share it with another grieving mother who may need it, and consider leaving a rating or review. It helps The Leftover Pieces reach more grieving people who are learning how to live after loss.
Thank you - Talk Soon - Melissa
Click to Send a Text or Voicemail to Melissa
Support the show
__________________________________________________________________________

The Leftover Pieces is Support for Life After Suicide Loss. Click links below

🎙 Leave me a message: Share a question, your story, or your person’s name for a future episode → theleftoverpieces.com/voicemail

Support After Suicide Loss
If you are grieving after suicide loss, you do not have to carry this alone.
Visit The Leftover Pieces for podcast episodes, grief support, resources, and ways to connect with Melissa’s work: https://theleftoverpieces.com 
or Join Melissa’s email list: https://theleftoverpieces.com/join
If you someone you love is in immediate crisis or may be in danger, please call or text 988 in the United States. You can also text HOME to 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line