The Secure Start® Podcast

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A child breaks a window and the adults don’t rush to punishment. They sit with him, gather as a team, and ask a harder question: what have we been missing in his communication? That single moment opens up a deeper way to understand trauma, behaviour, and what “care” actually looks like when it’s done well. 

We’re joined by Paul Van Heeswijk, a highly experienced child psychotherapist and former consultant to the Cotswold Community. Paul shares the stories that shaped his practice, from early encounters with the deschooling movement to a formative visit to Cotswold and the influence of Donald Winnicott and Barbara Dockar-Drysdale. Along the way we unpack big ideas in plain language: behaviour as a request for something needed, mirroring and integration, and why teams often see different “parts” of the same child. 

We also get practical about the adults. Trauma-informed practice in residential care, foster care, schools, and CAMHS demands more than goodwill. Paul explains how children can pull carers into powerful roles, why reflective spaces help staff de-roll and reset, and how co-regulation sits beneath everything from Winnicott’s thinking to modern polyvagal theory. The closing message is a strong one: if we want better outcomes for children, we must invest in the adults who hold the work. 

If this conversation helps you rethink behaviour, care, and presence, please subscribe, share it with a colleague, and leave a review so more people can find Secure Start.
Paul's Bio:
Paul qualified as a Child Psychotherapist in 1981and is a Member of the Association of Child Psychotherapists. He was a Member of the Bowlby Centre until he retired in 2024. Paul worked in Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services and Child Psychiatry in London since 1981, including a Tier 4 Eating Disorders Unit between 2009 and 2014.
Between 1991 and 2000 Paul was Consultant Psychotherapist to the Cotswold Community. He has also consulted to several other Social Care Organisations in Ireland and the UK, and to Foster Care Agencies in England.
Links:
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSecureStartPodcast
Podcast Blog Site: https://thesecurestartpodcast.com/

Disclaimer: Information reported by guests of this podcast is assumed to be accurate as stated. Podcast owner Colby Pearce is not responsible for any error of facts presented by podcast guests. In addition, unless otherwise specified, opinions expressed by guests of this podcast may not reflect those of the podcast owner, Colby Pearce. Finally, all references to case examples are anonymised to the extent that the actual case could not be identified, or are fictional but based on real-life examples for illustrative purposes, or have client consent to talk about in an educative context.
*Attributed to Donald Winnicott

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Kids in care don’t just wonder where they lived. They wonder why it happened and far too often they land on the most painful answer: it must have been my fault. I’m joined by Professor Richard Rose, founder of Therapeutic Life Story Work International, to talk about how trauma-informed storytelling can turn confusion, shame and “unknowns” into a narrative a child can actually live with.

We unpack what makes Therapeutic Life Story Work different from a traditional life story book. Richard explains why files and court documents are rarely “the truth”, how they’re shaped by pressure and perspective, and why we need to gather real human stories from the people who journeyed with the child, including birth parents and previous carers, when it’s safe and respectful to do so. He shares the Rose Model, starting with information banking and eco mapping, then moving into relationship-led direct work that keeps the child’s voice at the centre.

We also get practical about what helps placements hold. We talk attachment, behaviour as communication, and why understanding the past can reduce fear in the present. Richard describes how to avoid doing harm when talking about trauma, what “editor-in-chief” ownership looks like for children creating their own story, and when the work should pause or adapt, including using tools like All About Me. We finish with Richard’s training focus through Thea, the Trauma Health Education International Academy, and what carers need to stay steady in the face of vicarious trauma.

Richard's Bio:
Richard is the Director and Founder of Therapeutic Life Story Work International (TLSWi). TLSWi provides consultancy and training on Therapeutic Life Story Work and working with 'hard to reach' children and adolescents, and develops academic training programmes in the UK and Internationally. TLSW is the only evidenced based Life Story Model in the World, TLSWi also is the professional body for Therapeutic Life Story Work and engages in research, supervision and professional development of all members. Recently, Richard has founded THEiA, designed to provide funded training to all carers in the UK, and across the world, from May 2025. THEiA is also going to offer cost effective training for Trauma, Health and Education colleagues to support their work with traumatised children and their families.
 
Richard has worked with traumatised children and families since he was 17 years old, and in that time has been shaped by those he has journeyed with over the last 43 years. He qualified in Social Work in 1989 and since then worked in the UK in local authority child protection and the highly regarded residential therapeutic treatment agency SACCS, including four years as the Clinical Practice Director of the Mary Walsh Institute. 
  
Richard is the author of four books, as well as research and guest chapters in publications such as Children in Care and various papers within University Press. 
Links:
Richard's Website: https://tlswi.com/
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSecureStartPodcast
Podcast Blog Site: https://thesecurestartpodcast.com/

Disclaimer: Information reported by guests of this podcast is assumed to be accurate as stated. Podcast owner Colby Pearce is not responsible for any error of facts presented by podcast guests. In addition, unless otherwise specified, opinions expressed by guests of this podcast may not reflect those of the podcast owner, Colby Pearce. Finally, all references to case examples are anonymised to the extent that the actual case could not be identified, or are fictional but based on real-life examples for illustrative purposes, or have client consent to talk about in an educative con
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A child’s acting out can look like defiance, chaos, or “bad behaviour” until you treat it as communication and ask what the adults are missing. That single shift changes everything, and it sits at the heart of my conversation with John Whitwell as we revisit the work and legacy of Barbara Docker-Drysdale, better known to many as Mrs D. John explains why her influence on therapeutic communities wasn’t just theory, it was the weekly discipline of helping staff teams think clearly under pressure. 

We dig into what her consultancy actually looks like at the Cotswold Community: regular team meetings across households and school, short sharp sessions that get to the point, and a strong expectation that staff keep learning. John walks through the practical backbone of the model, including structured need assessments that become living treatment plans. We also explore why her background as a mother doing hands-on wartime work with troubled children gives her a credibility that cuts through resistance in residential child care, foster care, and education settings. 

From there, we get specific about reflective supervision, self-awareness, and containment. John shares how Mrs D helps staff separate “what belongs to me” from “what belongs to the child”, why that skill protects teams from splitting and burnout, and why management alignment with the primary task is essential for trauma-informed care. If you work in child protection, therapeutic residential care, foster care support, or school wellbeing, this conversation offers concrete lessons on building a workforce that can stay steady and effective. 

If this resonates, follow the Secure Start Podcast, share the episode with a colleague, and leave a review so more carers and leaders can find these ideas. What does good supervision look like where you work?
John's Bio:
John was formerly a UKCP registered Psychotherapist and a full member of the British Psychotherapy Foundation (BPF).
John was also the Chair of Trustees of the Gloucestershire Counselling Service and Trustee of the Planned Environment Therapy Trust and the Mulberry Bush Organisation.
Between 1985 and 1999 John was the Principal of the Cotswold Community a pioneering therapeutic community for emotionally unintegrated boys.
Thereafter, between  1999 and 2014 John was the Managing Director of Integrated Services Programme (ISP), the first therapeutic foster care programme in the UK.
Links:
John's Website: https://www.johnwhitwell.co.uk/

Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSecureStartPodcast
Podcast Blog Site: https://thesecurestartpodcast.com/
Podcast site: https://thesecurestartpodcast.buzzsprout.com
Secure Start Site: https://securestart.com.au/

Disclaimer

Disclaimer: Information reported by guests of this podcast is assumed to be accurate as stated. Podcast owner Colby Pearce is not responsible for any error of facts presented by podcast guests. In addition, unless otherwise specified, opinions expressed by guests of this podcast may not reflect those of the podcast owner, Colby Pearce. Finally, all references to case examples are anonymised to the extent that the actual case could not be identified, or are fictional but based on real-life examples for illustrative purposes, or have client consent to talk about in an educative context.
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A toy fawn, a wordless picture book, a skull on a desk—what can these objects teach us about caring for children who’ve known chaos, loss, and confusion? We welcome back Richard Rawlinson, former director of the Mulberry Bush and long-time consultant in therapeutic childcare, to explore how everyday items become portals to insight, empathy, and better practice.

Richard traces a personal collection—gifts from children, reminders of moments, and metaphors with staying power. Bambi in a crowded cinema reveals the gap that trauma can carve between event and feeling. Rosie's Walk becomes a case study in continuity, ritual, and how the body helps the mind make sense. Damasio’s challenge to Descartes underpins it all: psyche and soma are not separate lanes. We look at what practitioners can observe—posture, presence, tone, pacing—and how these embodied signals change as safety builds.

There’s humour and humility too. A child hears “cremated” as “cream egged,” and we glimpse how kids personalise big, baffling ideas—death included—into images that fit their world. Rather than correct, we learn to guide: offer manageable doses, invite reflection, and let children lead with their meanings. Richard adds a crucial caution from his early years—don’t predict outcomes for children. What we can judge is the reliability of services, the existence of a plan B, and the quality of the holding environment.

A family photo at Yankee Stadium turns into a working model for care: boundaries that are clear but not crushing, a field of play with room to move, warning tracks before walls, and gates that open when it’s time to leave. We connect Winnicott’s work–love–play to daily routines, early signs of progress (ordinary participation, communication beyond meltdown, being in class to learn), and practical dialogue techniques like “let’s pretend you do know” to spark thinking.
Richard’s Bio
Richard has a long association with Residential Therapeutic Communities, having worked at the Mulberry Bush School for well over 20 years and where, from 1991 to 2001, he was its Director. He was also Director, Children and Young People, at the Peper Harow Foundation, from 2001 to 2005. 
Richard qualified as a Social Worker with an MSc from Oxford University in 1983, following the then Part 1 training in Child Psychotherapy at the Tavistock Centre. In 2005 he completed the Ashridge MA and training in Organisational Consulting. He has been Chairman of the Charterhouse Group of Therapeutic Communities and for many years the Chairman of the Care Leavers’ Foundation. In 2014 he became Chair of Trustees at the Mulberry Bush School, only recently stepping down from that position, while remaining a Trustee with a special brief for the links and development of the contacts with and participation of former pupils. He has published numerous articles and continues to lecture widely across the UK and Europe.
Links:
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSecureStartPodcast.                Podcast Blog Site: https://thesecurestartpodcast.com/
Disclaimer:

Disclaimer: Information reported by guests of this podcast is assumed to be accurate as stated. Podcast owner Colby Pearce is not responsible for any error of facts presented by podcast guests. In addition, unless otherwise specified, opinions expressed by guests of this podcast may not reflect those of the podcast owner, Colby Pearce. Finally, all references to case examples are anonymised to the extent that the actual case could not be identified, or are fictional but based on real-life examples for illustrative purposes, or have client consent to talk about in an educative context.
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What if the biggest driver of harmful sexual behaviour in children isn’t deviance in the child, but disconnection in the systems around them? We sit down with Alan Jenkins—veteran practitioner, author of Becoming Ethical, and pioneer of “multi undisciplinary” teams—to rethink how shame, belonging, and power shape what children do and how adults respond.

Across vivid stories from schools and services, Alan shows how our default reactions—suspensions, isolation, forensic labels—often deepen the very conditions that fuel harm. He traces a common pathway that starts with curiosity, is supercharged by isolation and low worth, and is reinforced by a culture that teaches sex as conquest and anaesthetic. Instead of fixating on acts alone, he urges us to assess what truly regulates a child: connection to people, a sense of worth, and supervised, guided places to belong.

Central to this conversation is a sharp distinction between guilt and shame. Guilt is neat and cognitive; shame is affective and, when contained, becomes a compass. Alan calls it the shadow of love—the feeling that slows us down and attunes us to another’s boundary. Through careful, respectful work that first restores stories of loyalty, protest, and care, children can access imminent shame: the embodied “my God, what have I done?” that opens integrity and real repair. From there, practical steps follow—support circles, connection‑centred safety plans, and everyday opportunities to practise discretion.

We also turn the lens on practitioners and supervisors. Urgency to “make them face it” is often picked up as demand and met with rightful protest. Alan outlines a parallel journey: if we expect a young person to consider the other’s experience, we must stay acutely aware of our impact. That stance disarms resistance, honours healthy protest, and creates the safety needed for ethical growth.

If you work in schools, child protection, youth justice, or therapy—or you care about building communities where kids can belong without causing harm—this conversation offers a grounded, humane roadmap. Subscribe, share this episode with a colleague, and leave a review with one change you’ll make in your practice.
Alan’s Bio:
Alan has worked in a range of multi-undisciplinary teams addressing violence and abusive behaviour for more than 35 years. Rather than tire from this work, he has become increasingly intrigued with possibilities for the discovery of ethical, respectful and accountable ways of relating. The valuing of ethics, fairness and the importance of protest against injustice has led him to stray considerably from the path prescribed in his early training as a psychologist, towards a political analysis of abuse. 
Alan’s most recent publication is ‘Becoming Ethical : A Parallel Political Journey With Men Who Have Abused,’ published in 2009.
He was a director of Nada and managed the Mary St. Program for young people who have engaged in sexually harmful behaviour, along with their caregivers and communities.
Links:
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/c/TheSecureStartPodcast
Podcast Blog Site: https://thesecurestartpodcast.com/

Disclaimer: Information reported by guests of this podcast is assumed to be accurate as stated. Podcast owner Colby Pearce is not responsible for any error of facts presented by podcast guests. In addition, unless otherwise specified, opinions expressed by guests of this podcast may not reflect those of the podcast owner, Colby Pearce. Finally, all references to case examples are anonymised to the extent that the actual case could not be identified, or are fictional but based on real-life examples for illustrative purposes, or have client consent to talk about in an educativ
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