475 SelfWork: Nine Ways to Challenge Low Self-Esteem
“Low self-esteem” is one of the symptoms or reflections of classic depression. Of course, it goes along with other symptoms or signs - a negative self-image, feelings of helplessness and/or hopelessness, not enjoying much of anything – which is called anhedonia.But how do you increase self-esteem? What is self-esteem anyway? It’s a recognition of your value – of your worth. You can have high self-esteem, low self-esteem, or an inflated sense of self-esteem where you think too highly of yourself and even see others as less valuable or worthy than you.So, self-esteem often gets built in your childhood as your caregivers provide you with not only safety and security, but with love. They give you the message that you’re valuable – right?Well, maybe not. Maybe they don’t give you that message. Or maybe your parents did a pretty good job, not perfect but good enough. But you had other relationships – or chose them – where you got the message that you weren’t so valuable after all.This is the focus today on SelfWork – what you can do about low self-esteem after it has seeped into your very being. It’s work – but everything worthwhile typically is.Our listener email is from a man from South Jersey who asks how you know if you’re with the right therapist. It’s another great question so I’ll do my best to answer it. Here’s one clue – it seems to me that if you’re asking that question, you may be overly doubting of yourself and your choices in general OR your therapy isn’t providing you with things that you can see are valuable and are helping you to change in desirable ways. Or both. Basically, could it be an issue with trusting yourself? Listen in to hear my answer!Vital Links: Recent SelfWork Episode on dealing with my own shame001 SelfWork: Episode answering the question "What is good therapy?"SelfWork episode describing how therapy works... or can workAdvertisers Links: Advertisers' Links and Special Offers:Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.There’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! Our Sponsors:* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/SELFWORKAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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Introducing the Jordan Harbinger Show
Today, I'm excited to introduce SelfWork listeners to The Jordan Harbinger Show, which has become a regular listen on my walks. If you've been looking for another top rated podcast, we hope you'll give Jordan Harbinger a listen.
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474 SelfWork: Healing Through Intuition: A Conversation with Author Laura Day
Have you ever thought that intuition could be used for healing crisis?Laura Day, the New York Times bestselling author is back with a long-awaited, life-altering book to help you learn how to do just that. In her past breakthrough book Practical Intuition, she explained how anyone can train themselves to gain full access to the powers of the intuitive brain. However, only Laura’s closest friends knew that behind the book’s phenomenal success was a dark family history.In this, her first book in fifteen years, Day, shares her haunting and unforgettable family story. Multiple suicides including her mother. A home life where the kids actually lived by themselves in a separate apartment from their parents. Only her intuition helped her figure out what no one had taught her – how to care for herself and her siblings.Now, Day has combined her experiences and teaching in her new book, The Prism: Seven Steps to Heal Your Past and Transform Your Future (Spiegel & Grau; April 29, 2025. It reveals seven points in our growth as children and adults that can hinder or help us thrive.Next week’s episode will begin our official 9th year here at SelfWork! We can’t believe it really. I won’t say it’s flown by – 9 years is a long time. But guests keep coming – listeners let us know through comments and questions – and supporting our sponsors – that SW remains important to you. We thank you so much for that. And see you next week.Advertisers Links: Click HERE for the NEXT GEN offer from AG1 – with bonus product with your new subscription!Other offerings from Dr. MargaretYou can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available and you can order here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life. And it’s available in paperback, eBook or as an audiobook!And send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! Our Sponsors:* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/SELFWORKAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
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Introducing the Jordan Harbinger Show
Today, I'm excited to introduce SelfWork listeners to The Jordan Harbinger Show, which has become a regular listen on my walks. If you've been looking for another top rated podcast, we hope you'll give Jordan Harbinger a listen.
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473 SelfWork: Blame, Perfectly Hidden Depression, and Bipolar Disorder
Today we have a grab bag of questions and comments, with the topics being blame, perfectly hidden depression, and bipolar disorder.The first is from a mom who lived through her daughter and yet also didn’t offer safety or a sense of security – even with the basic things. This listener is now sober for a year (much to her credit) and is asking about how to navigate her relationship with her mom – who's still chaotic. The second is from a therapist who attended one of my workshops on perfectly hidden depression and had a great comment to make. The third is a voicemail from an older mom who sees her daughter as blaming her without reasonable cause. And last, someone whose fairly new boyfriend revealed he’d been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Since her father also had bipolar disorder, she’s not quite sure how to respond or react…I’m very honored when listeners of SelfWork or readers of my articles on my website respond to me in some way. Realizing there’s much I don’t know after reading or listening to their email or voicemail, I hope what I can do is offer some kind of helpful perspective, knowing only the things they tell me.Vital Links:Defining intergenerational trauma - VeryWell Mind ArticlePractical Neurology article on bipolar disorder occurring after a head injuryHarvard research article on bipolar disorderAdvertisers' Links and Special Offers:Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.There’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you! Our Sponsors:* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/SELFWORKAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands
I'm Dr. Margaret, a psychologist for over 30 years, TEDx speaker, and the author of Perfectly Hidden Depression. I created The SelfWork Podcast in 2016 to explain mental health treatment and to give you the chance to consider therapy without thinking it's weird or that it somehow suggests you can't fix your own problems. My team is very honored that nine years later, SelfWork has earned nearly 5 million downloads! Each episode features the popular listener question as well as interviews with outstanding guests, authors, and experts, adding to the wide diversity of topics listeners so appreciate. Regularly rated as one of the top mental health/depression podcasts out there (ranked as a top .5% internationally) I keep it short, casual, and focused on "what you can do about it." I'd love to hear from you. Please join me.
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