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14 | Wired to belong
If you’ve ever found yourself overthinking while your friends just blurt things out with reckless ease, or if you’ve perfected the art of appearing engaged while internally planning an escape route — welcome. You’re human. And today we’ll uncover why the advice to ‘just be vulnerable’ is just plain silly.We’ll also get into the sneaky push/pull between cultural expectations and our biology, breaking down why high performers struggle with connection, and sharing two super simple practices to make social interactions feel less high-stakes.What we cover• The cultural myths that keep us stuck in isolation, despite our innate need for connection.• How our neurobiology reacts to vulnerability, and why ignoring it makes connection harder.• The SAD Cycle (Stress, Anxiety, and Depletion) and how it perpetuates disconnection.• Moving from an orientation of control to an orientation of connection.Key takeaways✅ Connection is a biological necessity, not a luxury. Our nervous system depends on it.✅ Hyper-individualism is a cultural lie. We cannot truly thrive alone.✅ Vulnerability isn’t just emotional — it’s physiological. Understanding this helps us keep opening instead of avoiding.✅ Somatic awareness is key. Noticing subtle shifts in the body allows us to catch protective patterns before they block connection.✅ Small changes make a big difference. Two simple practices—deepening eye contact and resetting between interactions—can transform how we connect.Action steps🔹 Note attention quality. Notice not just what someone is saying, but the emotional resonance behind their words. Where is your attention when you’re looking at someone?🔹 Reset before interactions. Before meetings or social situations, take a few seconds to let go of whatever emotional charge you’re carrying, so you can arrive more fully present.Join the conversation💬 What resonated most with you? What practice are you trying this week? DM Oren on LinkedIn or Substack.📩 Need support in cultivating deeper connection and somatic awareness? Reach out to Oren for coaching, referrals, and practical resources.Support this work!✔ Subscribe to Working with Feeling for more insights on human connection, nervous system fluency, and leading with presence.✔ Leave a review to help spread these conversations and shift our culture toward one of deeper connection. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit workingwithfeeling.com
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13 | Jaclyn Pascocello: Belonging beyond work & home (Why we need a Third Space)
How can we bring about more connection and belonging in personal and professional settings by addressing the root issue that lies beyond those walls? Join me as I sit down with Jaclyn Pascocello, founder of Fabrik, a third space designed to combat loneliness and foster deeper human connection. We explore the systemic roots of disconnection, the neuroscience behind why casual interactions matter, and practical steps for reclaiming real-life community in an increasingly digital world.What We Cover in This Episode✅ The loneliness epidemic and its impact on mental & physical health✅ The importance of second- and third-degree connections in our daily lives✅ Why third spaces (beyond home and work) are essential for well-being✅ The problem with corporate mental health initiatives that don’t address real human needs✅ How organizations can rethink engagement & belonging in a way that actually works✅ Small steps to cultivate more connection in your daily life✅ Why re-learning social presence & interaction is key in a world of digital distraction✅ Jaclyn’s personal somatic practices for grounding and presenceAbout Jaclyn PascocelloJaclyn is the founder of Fabrik, a unique third space in NYC designed to combat loneliness and foster meaningful connection. With a background in hospitality and startups, she has dedicated her career to creating spaces that bring people together in a disconnected world.Links* Connect with Jaclyn on LinkedIn* Check out Fabrik’s website* Find Oren on LinkedIn* Working with Feeling newsletter and show notes—Enjoy this episode? *Please leave a review*, subscribe, and share the episode with one person you kinda like and want to have a happy nervous system! This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit workingwithfeeling.com
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12 | The meta-practice for working with feeling
Something often missing in the conversation about nervous system regulation and emotional intelligence is the essential role of the ongoing practice of presence. It’s more tangible than it sounds, I promise.So, what is the 'Big P' practice that transcends traditional compartmentalized approaches to personal growth? How does it look to continuously engage with our inner state to connect more fully with the people and activities we care about? Being present in every moment is a worthy aspiration in a disconnected world where our attention is actively fragmented. Whatever your goals may be, coming back to a more whole presence facilitates them. And it starts now, in the body. Key Moments05:35 Understanding Big P Practice09:59 Nervous System Regulation and Presence12:55 The Continuous Journey of PracticeLinks* Ido Portal on Youtube* Oren on LinkedIn* Working with Feeling newsletter with detailed show notes and resourcesEnjoy this episode? *Please leave a review*, subscribe, and share the episode with one person you kinda like and want to have a happy nervous system.Intro/outro music by Youssouf Karembe (licensed). Listen to the full track here. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit workingwithfeeling.com
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11 | Elisabeth Kristof: Getting real about nervous system regulation
This might be the most comprehensive approach to nervous system regulation and somatics you’ve heard. Listen in to this conversation so you can find the signal through all that noise out there as somatics and nervous system work continues going mainstream. Elisabeth Kristof’s work is unique and powerful, and stands out from the growing hype around somatics in several key ways we discuss.One of those ways: by addressing the power of going beyond our nervous system *outputs* and tending to sensory *inputs* essential for neuroplasticity for personal growth. This is how we get to the root of increasing our capacity for change from the inside out.We also address the very real challenges of modern life that often go unnamed, the dangers of those tempting cathartic experiences that center intense emotional release, and practical tools for healthy emotional expression and regulation. (Spoiler alert: you probably can’t “heal” your nervous system on one retreat in a Tulum jungle or Costa Rican beach.)What does a more holistic approach to nervous system health look like? And how do we move toward a personal growth paradigm for true, sustainable change which considers the unique history and physiology of the individual?Explore these questions with us so you can continue developing your personal practice and experiencing the aliveness you’ve known is possible.About ElisabethElisabeth Kristof, MA, is an Applied Neurology & Somatic Practitioner, and co-host of the Apple Top 100 podcast, Trauma Rewired.Elisabeth has been involved in neuro- and movement-based therapies since 2007, with a focus on the intersection of complex trauma and nervous system regulation for the past five years. Her expertise has positioned her as a leading voice in the field of trauma-informed neurology.Elisabeth is the founder of the Neurosomatic Intelligence (NSI) coaching certification program, an ICF-accredited course that trains practitioners, therapists, and coaches to harness the power of the nervous system for resilience, behavior change, and performance.She is also the founder of BrainBased.com an online community that uses applied neurology and somatics for nervous system health, emotional expression and resilience.Key Moments00:00 Understanding the Nervous System and Emotional Processing05:55 The Importance of Sensory Inputs in Behavior Change11:55 Rehabilitation of the Nervous System in Modern Life18:05 The Role of Neuroplasticity in Personal Growth24:12 Navigating Emotional Experiences and Regulation30:11 The Dangers of Cathartic Experiences35:52 Practical Tools for Emotional Expression and RegulationTakeaways* Minimum effective dosing is crucial for emotional processing.* The nervous system's health is linked to physical movement.* Inputs from our body significantly influence our behavior.* Cognitive thoughts alone cannot create sustainable change.* Emotions are physiological experiences, not just thoughts.* Understanding our sensory input systems is essential for change.* Nervous system rehabilitation is necessary in modern life.* Neuroplasticity allows for both positive and negative adaptations.* Emotional expression is vital for physical and mental health.* Daily practices can significantly improve nervous system function.Links* Elisabeth on Instagram* Neurosomatic Intelligence* BrainBased* Trauma Rewired Podcast* Oren on LinkedIn* Working with Feeling newsletter and show notes—Enjoy this episode? *Please leave a review*, subscribe, and share the episode with one person you kinda like and want to have a happy nervous system!Intro/outro music by Youssouf Karembe (licensed). Listen to the full track here. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit workingwithfeeling.com
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10 | Somatic Side: What to do when your gas pedal is stuck
Why is it often hard to truly relax? And what’s happening beneath the surface when we feel “wired but tired”?Following our last chat with Rachel Hamlin, we break down why downregulation can be so tricky in modern life, and cover practical somatic tools to have in your back pocket. If you’ve ever found yourself on the thought carousel at night and struggling to step off, this one’s for you.Key Ideas[01:00] Why It’s So Hard to Switch OffOren explains why our ancient survival wiring clashes with our modern environment, making relaxation something we have to re-learn.[02:30] The Science of DownregulationDiscover what downregulation is, why “just relaxing” doesn’t work, and how the autonomic nervous system responds to constant, low-grade stressors.[04:30] The Window of Tolerance: Finding Your CenterAn intro to Dan Siegel’s Window of Tolerance, a framework that helps you get a sense of your arousal level so you can determine what you need.[06:30] Practical Tools for UnwindingAccessible techniques to based on the “Clearing” and “Caring” pathways.[09:30] Clearing vs. Caring: Choosing the Right PracticeTwo distinct approaches to managing arousal — one to release excess energy, the other to gently soothe.Somatic practices are not one-size-fits-all. Learn how to personalize these practices, tune into your body’s unique signals, and adjust based on what feels right for you.—View the full show notes with any accompanying visuals.Connect with Oren on LinkedIn—Enjoy this episode? *Please leave a review*, subscribe, and share the episode with one person who could benefit from shifting from control to connection in life and leadership.Intro/outro music by Youssouf Karembe (licensed). Listen to the full track here. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit workingwithfeeling.com
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