The AuDHD Boss: Neurodiversity at Work with Brett Whitmarsh

There's a certain tension that comes up. A wall. An invisible force field around my body, my brain, my mind, that I can't move past no matter how much I want to.
That's what masking actually feels like for me, not as a concept, but as a physical sensation. In this episode I break down what masking actually is, where it started for me, and what it took to finally start recognizing it happening in real time.
Drawing on Dr. Megan Anna Neff's work in the Autistic Burnout Workbook, I walk through the different forms masking takes, scripting, mimicking, assimilation, camouflage, code-switching, excessive helpfulness, and how each one shows up for me specifically. I get into where this started as a kid, why I built a different persona for every room I walked into, and how switching between those personas has come to feel like regenerating into a new person every time, the way the Doctor does in Doctor Who.
Then I get into the part I most wanted to talk about, what masking actually feels like in my body. The tension. The wall. What I can only describe as shields going up. And why recognizing that sensation, even before I could name it, changed how I handle it.
I also talk through what an actual unmasking plan looks like for me, why I can only fully unmask alone, and why recovery isn't about getting back to who you were before, it's about getting somewhere healthier than that ever was.
Resources mentioned on play and AuDHD Burnout:
What does Play look/feel like for an adult from AtsedeScarseth AuDHD Therapist:https://www.tiktok.com/@atsedescarseth/video/7675894691077950751https://www.tiktok.com/@atsedescarseth/video/7675894019267857695The direct line from masking to AuDHD burnouthttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=loz1viIIB9U

Wondering how to manage you needs at work as a late-diagnosed AuDhd, ADHD or Autistic adult? Check out my Drains and Sparks Workplace Workbook.
A video version of this episode, with chapters, is also up on YouTube if you'd rather watch. I'm starting a series on Substack going deeper into unmasking, link in the show notes if you want to follow along.
I offer workplace talks and coaching for organizations and professionals navigating autism, ADHD, and AuDHD at work, especially for managers and HR teams. Reach out through my website if that's something you need.

A viewer sent in a question that a lot of neurodivergent professionals are sitting with right now. Their boss doesn't believe ADHD is real, and they suspect that boss might be neurodivergent themselves. Dr. Bowen Marshall's answer reframes the whole situation: the resistance isn't about you. It's about them.
You've done the hardest part of unmasking, which is asking for help. And then the person with power over your career looked at you and said no. That moment doesn't just sting. It confirms every reason you had for keeping the mask on in the first place.
Brett and Bowen get into why that happens, what it says about the manager, and what you can actually do about it. They also cover the history of management culture and what it continues to demand from neurodivergent employees, why neurodivergent professionals sometimes become each other's biggest obstacles at work, deliberative processing and the professional cost of not having a quick answer ready in a meeting, recovery versus reconstitution at the end of a workday and why those are not the same thing, and practical scripts and strategies for getting your needs met without disclosing your diagnosis.
Topics covered in this episode:
*Why a neurodivergent boss may be your greatest skeptic
*Internalized neurophobia and what it looks like in leadership
*Masking until burnout and asking for help
*Why neurodivergents sometimes take advantage of other neurodivergents at work
*Recovery versus reconstitution after a workday
*Deliberative processing and the cost of not having a quick answer
*Fawning and people pleasing under a resistant manager
*The history of management culture and compliance
*Authenticity versus consistency at work
*Workplace scripts to buy processing time in meetings
*The test balloon approach to figuring out who is safe to talk to at work
*When to go to HR after a negative disclosure response
Dr. Bowen Marshall, PhD is a licensed psychotherapist, author, and career coach specializing in ADHD, Autism, and neurodivergent career development. As part of his work, he helps neurodivergents navigate the complexity of career demands helping ADHDers, AuDHDers and Autistics find and create systems, workflows, and leadership styles that help them succeed and thrive at work and life.
Check out Bowen's Substack
Subscribe to Bowen's YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@DrBoTyler
Drains and Sparks: An AuDHD Workplace Workbook: https://payhip.com/AuDHDBoss
Book a coaching call or speaking engagement: audhdBoss.com

Processing a layoff is different when you're autistic or have ADHD. Brett Whitmarsh, host of The AuDHD Boss, shares what he learned in the ten months after his own layoff from a twelve-year corporate role, and what actually helped him grieve, rest, and figure out what came next.
In this episode, Brett covers:
Why a layoff isn't a reflection of your performance, even when it feels personal
How to let yourself grieve a job loss without rushing past it
Why taking time before making major decisions matters, especially with a severance package
How to turn your job history into a list of transferable skills
Why applying through AI-driven hiring platforms alone often isn't enough, and how to use personal connections instead
Where to find real support without paying for resources that should be free

Brett also references the exercise from his Drains & Sparks: An AuDHD Workplace Workbook, and shares the personal decision-making mistake he made in the weeks right after his own layoff.

Isabel Fields, ESG Manager at Hearst, helped build the company's first Neurodiversity at Hearst hiring program from the ground up. In six months, Hearst had a fully running program. Years later, it's still growing, and it's shaped how the company trains, hires, and retains Autistic and ADHD talent at every level.
We talk about how the program came together, why executive buy-in came easier than expected, and the distinction Isabel draws between accommodations and adjustments, the small, low-cost changes a manager can make without a formal process. We also get into personal brand for neurodivergent employees and managers, practical ways to manage ADHD and Autistic burnout, and how to work through rejection sensitivity with a manager or trusted colleague.
Isabel Fields is an ESG Manager at Hearst with expertise in sustainability strategy, ESG reporting, and inclusive workplace initiatives. She serves on Understood's Women's Council and is a Women inPower fellow at the 92NY. Prior to Hearst, she was part of Oracle's Social Impact team and has held roles at Nike, the United Nations Foundation, and Iron Mountain.
Mentioned in this episode: my Drains & Sparks AuDHD Workplace Workbook.
If you or your organization want to work on neuroinclusion, train your managers, or explore individual coaching, reach out using the contact info in the show notes.

Self-employed with ADHD or autism? For a lot of people, it's not a lifestyle choice, it's the only option left when a corporate job stops working.
Brett talks with Liora, founder of Colorful Futures, a neurodivergent, queer-run HR and career consulting business. Liora spent years as a recruiter before starting the business, and this conversation gets into what actually triggers the leap into self-employment, how a late ADHD or autism diagnosis can be part of that decision, and what that choice looks like once you get past the LinkedIn version of it: the guilt, the uneven pace, and the fact that the whole business model doesn't have to be figured out before starting.
Liora and their colleague Caitlin Fisher are hosting the Entrepreneurial Horizon Workshop on Thursday, July 16 at 6:30 PM Eastern. It's a 90-minute session for anyone with an idea they haven't figured out how to build yet. $18 to attend, replay included.

Register here: https://colorfulfutures.thrivecart.com/entrepreneurial-horizon/
More on Colorful Futures: https://colorfulfutures.us/about
This conversation is also available as a video on the AuDHD Boss YouTube channel.
Interested in working together? Brett offers coaching for neurodivergent professionals and consulting for organizations working to become more neuro-inclusive, including speaking to employee resource groups. Reach out: Brett@AuDHDboss.com or at AuDHDboss.com