The AuDHD Boss: Neurodiversity at Work with Brett Whitmarsh

I was more nervous to tell people at work I was autistic than I was coming out bisexual. That's not a punchline. It tells you something about how similar these two journeys actually are.
In this episode Brett shares how coming out as bisexual in his 30s and getting a late AuDHD diagnosis a few years later followed the same emotional architecture — recontextualizing your entire life, grieving the person you thought you were, and slowly learning to stop masking.
What made both take so long? Alexithymia and delayed processing made it hard to understand his own feelings. Growing up in a high control religion made those feelings feel dangerous. And high masking kept both identities hidden — even from himself.
If you came out late, got diagnosed late, or both I'd love to hear your story.
Topics covered: neuroqueer identity, high masking, Alexithymia, coming out in your 30s, late AuDHD diagnosis, workplace safety, the grief of late discovery, and why unmasking and coming out feel like the same thing.
Find Brett's Drains & Sparks workbook and coaching at payhip.com/audhdboss.
In this episode:
Why high masking kept Brett in the closet — and later kept his AuDHD diagnosis hidden too
How Alexithymia and delayed processing made it hard to understand his own feelings
Why workplace safety was the trigger that finally let him unmask
The grief that comes with both late coming out and late diagnosis — and where they differ
Why "people who aren't don't spend all that time wondering if they are" applies to both sexuality and neurotype
Resources mentioned:
Drains & Sparks Workbook: payhip.com/audhdboss

"Don't be too good at your job." That line from Dr. Bowen Marshall hit nearly a million views on Instagram. So we came back to respond to your comments.
For neurodivergent professionals, overperforming isn't just exhausting. It sets a trap — a higher bar every annual review, burnout that builds without a clear cause, and a workplace that stops taking your limitations seriously because you look too capable to need support.
In this episode Brett and Dr. Bowen Marshall go through the comments from that viral moment and get into what's actually driving it.
They cover the PIE model and why 70% of your career has nothing to do with your actual work. The difference between a mentor and a sponsor — and why neurodivergent professionals almost always get one but not the other. Why over-performing makes raises harder, not easier. What to do when your boss says nothing is coming off your plate. And the disability catch-22: when you're too competent, your limitations stop being believed.
About Dr. Bowen Tyler Marshall:
Dr. Bowen Marshall, PhD a licensed psychotherapist, author, and career coach specializing in ADHD, Autism, and neurodivergent career development.
As part of his work, he helps neurodivergents navigate the complexity of career demands helping ADHDers, AuDHders and Autistics find and create systems, workflows, and leadership styles that help them succeed and thrive at work and life.
Connect with Bowen here:
Substack: https://drbotyler.substack.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbotyler/?hl=enTiktok: https://tiktok.com/@DrbotylerYouTube: https://youtube.com/@www.youtube.com/ ⁨@DrBoTyler⁩ 

About Brett | AuDHD BossI'm Brett — AuDHD, late diagnosed, and a former corporate leader with 12 years of leadership training and experience. I offer 1:1 coaching and neuro-inclusive workplace training for individuals and organizations.******************************RESOURCES & LINKS🛒 Drains & Sparks — AuDHD Workplace Workbook for Neurodivergent ProfessionalsBundle (workbook + 45-min coaching video) → https://payhip.com/audhdbossWorkbook only → https://payhip.com/audhdbossWORK WITH BRETT1:1 coaching for autistic, ADHD, and AuDHD professionals navigating corporate environmentsCorporate training, manager workshops, and organizational licensing for neuro-inclusive teams👉 audhdboss.com | Brett@audhdboss.com

A new national survey from NEXT for AUTISM puts hard data on what autistic and AuDHD employees have been describing for years — and the findings challenge most of what workplaces assume about disclosure, accommodations, and what actually drives retention.
I sat down with Candi Weaver-Dowds, Senior Manager of Strategic Initiatives at NEXT for AUTISM and the lead on this research, and Abigayle Jayroe, SVP of Strategic Operations, to walk through the data and what employers need to do differently.
We cover:
• Why 79% of autistic employees describe masking and emotional exhaustion as a workplace challenge — and what that costs
• The 73% disclosure rate, and why most went to their direct manager rather than HR
• Why nearly 7 in 10 autistic employees are building their own support systems outside of work
• What the data shows about autistic women carrying a disproportionate burden
• Why AuDHD employees — 40% of the sample — may be the largest and most strained subgroup in the autistic workforce
About the report Inside the Autistic Workforce: A National Survey of Autistic Employees on Their Workplace Experience — and What Employers Need to Know. 
Completed in 2026, this mixed-methods study was developed and led by NEXT for AUTISM, in partnership with Sago, a global research firm, and funded by the Anita Bhatia Foundation for Tomorrow. Read the full report: https://nextforautism.org/inside-the-autistic-workplace/
Chapters 
00:00 What the data finally proves
02:12 The strengths-based research approach
03:00 High job satisfaction, hidden cost
04:22 Masking is a second job running in the background 06:06 Why the manager relationship matters most
07:29 What 73% disclosure really means
10:09 The accommodations gap 11:34 Building support outside of work
12:46 The disproportionate burden on autistic women
14:13 Late diagnosis and the workplace
15:21 AuDHD: two operating systems competing
17:47 What workplaces need to do differently
20:27 The neurodivergent manager effect
20:47 Autistic feedback as operational intelligence
23:37 The report, the grants program, and how to take action
About AuDHD Boss 
I'm Brett Whitmarsh — late-diagnosed AuDHD, former corporate people manager, and host of AuDHD Boss. This show is about what work actually looks like for neurodivergent professionals, and what managers, HR teams, and leaders need to understand to stop losing this talent.
Free Accommodations Prep Guide: https://payhip.com/b/j0rvk 
Work with me or book a corporate training: https://audhdboss.com

Most workplace advice was built for neurotypical brains. Dr. Ludmila Praslova's The Canary Code was built for the rest of us.
Brett sits down with Dr. Praslova — organizational psychologist, Vanguard University professor, 2025 Thinkers50 Talent Award winner, and the first person to publish in Harvard Business Review from an autistic perspective. Her book reframes the coal-mine metaphor through what we now understand about neurodivergent brains. The canary isn't the victim of the story. The canary is the employee whose biology lets them sense problems first. Neurodivergent people — those of us with autism, ADHD, AuDHD, dyslexia, Tourette's, and other ways of processing the world — are playing that role in modern workplaces. We notice broken workflows, toxic culture, and ethical drift before anyone else does. Most organizations treat the signal as the problem.
This conversation covers what to do instead — the six principles of The Canary Code, the Platinum Rule, the derailers that quietly kill neurodiversity work, and how to navigate a workplace that isn't ready to change yet.
Get the book: https://bookshop.org/a/108800/9798890571601
Connect with Dr. Praslova: thecanarycode.com
Chapters
(00:00) Introduction 
(02:38) The Real History of Canaries in Coal Mines 
(04:24) Why Neurodivergent Brains Sense Toxicity First 
(05:19) "Sensitive Does Not Mean Broken" 
(06:37) The Six Principles of The Canary Code 
(09:53) The Platinum Rule and Holistic Belonging 
(13:19) Why Common Sense Isn't Common Practice 
(16:48) Derailers That Kill Neurodiversity Work 
(19:00) Navigating Managers Without Burning Out 
(25:09) Why We Need More Neurodivergent Leaders 
(25:56) Where to Find The Canary Code

If you're an HR or L&D leader interested in bringing this work into your organization, I offer corporate training and consulting. Email brett@audhdboss.com.

Getting a diagnosis as an adult can feel like an answer. Then you're sitting with that information, years into a career, with no real roadmap for what comes next. You don't know what you need. You don't know how to ask for it. And you're not sure whether telling your employer is going to help you or hurt you.
Brett continues his conversation with Dr. Bowen Marshall, PhD — licensed psychotherapist, author, and career coach specializing in ADHD, Autism, and neurodivergent career development. Dr. Marshall works with ADHDers, AuDHDers, and Autistics to help them build the systems, workflows, and strategies that let them thrive at work and in life.
This episode gets into what late diagnosis actually looks like from a therapeutic perspective — why so many late-diagnosed adults don't yet know what they need even after getting a diagnosis, and how burnout accumulates when you've spent years running your nervous system without the right supports in place.
They also cover the disclosure decision directly. Not a simple yes or no, but a real framework for thinking through who benefits, what the risks are, and how to read your specific workplace before making a call that has actual career consequences.
Dr. Marshall closes with something worth sitting with: rejection is protection.
This is Part 2 of a two-part conversation. Part 1 covers the AuDHD leadership trap, unspoken corporate rules, and the real difference between masking and code switching. Linked below.
Connect with Dr. Bowen Marshall: 
Substack: https://substack.com/@bowentylermarshallTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@drbotyler https://www.YouTube.com/ @DrBoTyler Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/Drbotyler