Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

They said they'd "never talk to you again" — like it was a boundary. Like it was healthy. But the silence never actually stayed silent. Behind your back, a different story was already being told behind your back.
And when you reach out, you’re blocked.
This is a smear campaign with a "no contact" mask on.
This episode, Dr. Kerry McAvoy reads from your stories — real accounts from people who lived through the attack-then-block cycle — to break down what's actually happening when a narcissist "refuses to engage."
In this episode:
Why narcissists weaponize "I don't argue" as a performance for an audience, not a boundary for you
The block-and-smear pattern: how silence toward you becomes a story told behind your back
How this tactic exploits your trauma-informed instincts, making distance look like discernment
Why survivors are left unable to defend themselves against a narrative they never even heard
What documenting and disengaging safely actually looks like — without chasing the last word
Submit your question to be answered on air here!
Resources
The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support
Follow Kerry!
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Facebook
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.
This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

The divorce papers are signed. The marriage is over. But for survivors of narcissistic abuse, the legal system is often where the abuse escalates — not ends.  
In this conversation, Kerry McAvoy and Family Law Attorney Diana Romanov decode the legal tactics narcissists weaponize after you leave. How conflict avoidance becomes your abuser’s most powerful legal advantage. Learn how the earliest red flags predict exactly how dangerous the divorce will be. 
Exclusive Podcast Extra Segment
Want to go deeper? What happens when survivors of narcissistic abuse hire an attorney who mirrors the very dynamic they just escaped?  
In this Members-Only segment, Diana reveals why trauma survivors unconsciously gravitate toward legal representation that replicates familiar but toxic relationship dynamics and what it costs them. Learn the most important rarely asked question your attorney should be asking you. 
Become a paid subscriber and unlock your access to this exclusive segment today: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse 
DIANA ROMANOV is a California-certified Family Law Specialist and divorce attorney with over 25 years of experience representing clients in high-conflict and narcissistic abuse cases. As the creator of Divorce Like a Boss, she brings legal precision and hard-won courtroom insight to the realities survivors face when leaving toxic relationships — revealing not just the legal strategy, but the psychological warfare playing out in filings, hearings, and depositions.  
YOUTUBE: Divorce Like a Boss 
WEBSITE
#NarcissisticAbuse #Narcissism #ToxicRelationships #npd #divorcinganarcissist #postseparationabuse #coercivecontrol #highconflictdivorce
Submit your question to be answered on air here!
Resources
The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support
Follow Kerry!
Youtube
Instagram
TikTok
Facebook
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.
This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

Why does their apology leave you feeling like the one who did something wrong? \
Continuing this week's feed swap, I'm sharing a conversation from Renee Swanson's Covert Narcissism Podcast — this time a guest interview with Dr. Anthony Mazzella, a psychodynamic therapist and host of The Narcissism Decoder. 
Together they get underneath the behavior to the "why," unpacking what they call the illusion of empathy: the moment an apology looks like remorse but is really about image control. 
A note: this is part of an ongoing series on guilt and shame, so you'll hear Renee and Dr. Mazzella reference earlier conversations and tease the next one — you can follow the whole thread on Renee's feed. 
Be gentle with yourself as you listen, and reach out to a trusted person or support resource if any of it hits close to home. 
Find more of Renee's work and her coaching at covertnarcissism.com.
Follow Renee: TikTok I YouTube I Facebook I Instagram I Website
Listen to the Podcast: Bleav Network - On All Platforms
#covertnarcissism #gaslighting #Narcissism #npd 
Submit your question to be answered on air here!
Resources
The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support
Follow Kerry!
Youtube
Instagram
TikTok
Facebook
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.
This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

They said they were managing the finances — because you weren't good with money.
That every purchase had to go through them. But somehow, there was always money for what they wanted.
They made you feel like a child asking for an allowance — in your own home. And the moment you tried to leave, you realized you had nothing. Because they had made sure of it. That wasn't financial stress. That was financial control.
This Thursday episode, Kerry reads from real accounts from people who lived inside financially controlling relationships. Learn what the 'broke' narcissist tactic looks like from the inside.
In this episode:
Why narcissists use money as a tool of surveillance and control
The 'broke' performance: how narcissists claim poverty while draining your resources
How financial abuse creates a dependency trap designed to make leaving feel impossible
Why survivors so often exit these relationships starting over — in debt, isolated, and exhausted
What financial recovery really requires
Submit your question to be answered on air here!
Resources
The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support
Follow Kerry!
Youtube
Instagram
TikTok
Facebook
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.
This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).

He checked the grocery receipt. And the look on his face said everything: he expected to catch you at something. 
You weren't a partner. You were a suspected thief. 
But that moment — that first time money became a surveillance tool — didn't come out of nowhere. It didn't start with the receipts, or the interrogations, or the separate account he opened without telling you. 
It started the moment he made you feel like the luckiest person alive. Because that feeling — of being chosen, adored, and completely seen — was the setup for everything that came after. 
This week, Kerry sits down with clinical co-host and  UK psychologist Lynn S. to break down exactly how narcissists use love bombing to lay the groundwork for financial control —  and why so many survivors don't recognize the trap until they're already inside it. 
In this episode: 
Why money is never just money in a narcissistic relationship 
The "eating off my plate" impulse: the primitive threat response that drives financial control 
How love bombing creates the emotional dependency that makes financial control feel normal — even deserved 
The "empty jar" framework: why giving second chances too early is one of the most dangerous mistakes in new relationships. 
Want to go deeper? 
For the Podcast Extra interview: 
Paid Substack subscribers get exclusive access to Kerry and Lynn's full conversation on "sitting in the grey" — the psychological skill narcissists systematically destroy, and why rebuilding your capacity to trust your own inner compass requires something most survivors never think to look for.
🔒 Become a paid subscriber and unlock your access today: https://substack.com/@breakingfreenarcabuse 
LYNN STRATHDEE is a UK-based psychodynamic psychotherapist specializing in echoism, narcissistic abuse recovery, and the unconscious patterns that keep survivors stuck in repeating relationship cycles. A former educator turned therapist, Lynn brings both clinical training and lived experience to her private practice, where she works with clients online and in person. Her approach goes beyond surface-level psychoeducation to the deeper identity work that creates lasting change.  
Website
Submit your question to be answered on air here!
Resources
The Complete Recovery Collection: Narcissistic abuse resources
First Steps to Leaving: Online self-paced digital course
Toxic-Free Relationship Club: Live coaching & community support
Follow Kerry!
Youtube
Instagram
TikTok
Facebook
Kerry Kerr McAvoy, Ph.D., an author and educator, helps listeners decode toxic dynamics, recognize manipulation, and rebuild self-trust.
As an Amazon affiliate, commission is earned from qualifying purchases.
This podcast/video is for educational purposes only. It does not constitute therapy, counseling, or professional mental health advice, nor does listening create a doctor-patient or therapist-client relationship. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please call 911 or contact the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 (US/Canada).