Tom's Talks

The Tom's Talks Podcast is a place where we speak to a vast array of people from different walks of life and find out what makes them them. We will speak about their unique journey and delve into the highs and the lows which ultimately define them. 

This episode discusses suicide, health anxiety and infertility. If you’re struggling, Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123.

“I didn’t choose to be a meme.”

At 16, Danny Andrews was a teenage bodybuilder beating grown men on stage. Then a BBC documentary filmed him talking through his diet, and one clip turned him into the fish and rice cakes guy, one of Britain’s first ever memes. For years he hated it and did everything he could not to be associated with it.

The meme is only the part people saw. Behind it was a lad who left home at 16, got hooked on M-Cat in a town with nothing to do, and moved to Preston with nothing to start again. Today he’s a barber with his own shop, newly engaged, and finally using the thing he spent 20 years hiding from. He’s also living with nerve damage that has left his calf paralysed, health anxiety that has him convinced something is seriously wrong, and the infertility he was too ashamed to talk about for years.

What we get into:
The BBC documentary, the phone call he thought was a prank, and how one clip went viral before he could even afford the internet
Being laughed at at house parties, his sister having to tell people he wasn’t thick, and why he hated being the fish and rice cakes guy
Growing up in Barrow-in-Furness, a rugby league town where drugs and steroids were the norm
Moving out at 16, getting addicted to M-Cat, losing his job and starting again in Preston
Finding barbering, opening his own shop at 22, and the first time he felt his family were proud of him
Collapsing out of the shower before a date, unable to feel his legs, and the emergency spine operation that followed
Finding out his calf muscle is paralysed, and the health anxiety that now affects him more than the injury itself
Living with anxiety and OCD, why he thinks he may have ADHD, and why he finds it so hard to switch off
Finding out he’s infertile, crying in the doctor’s surgery, and why he didn’t feel like a man
What it did to a past relationship, starting IVF with his fiancée, and the fears he still carries
Why talking openly takes the shame away, and how posting about it has helped him as much as the people watching
The failed rice cake business that led him onto a TV dating show, and to the woman he’s now engaged to
Laughing at him or laughing with him, and going from ashamed of the meme to proud of it
What he’d say to 16 year old Danny the day the clip went viral
Tom started sharing his own story online after losing his brother Liam, and he still gets negative comments for it. Danny’s story is a reminder that when you own the thing people laugh at, they lose their power over you.

An honest conversation about going viral, health anxiety, male infertility and learning to be proud of who you are.

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Proudly sponsored by: https://osiofficefurniture.co.uk/
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The Tom's Talks Podcast is a place where we speak to a vast array of people from different walks of life and find out what makes them them. We will speak about their unique journey and delve into the highs and the lows which ultimately define them. 

⚠️ This episode discusses suicide in detail, as well as addiction and grief. If you’re struggling, Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123.

“I’ve got four children. And that’s never going to change.”

Tomorrow marks eleven years since Tom lost his brother Liam to suicide. Tom has spent seven years telling his side of that story. In this episode, he sits down with the people who lived it alongside him: his mum, his sister and his brother.

This episode discusses suicide, grief and mental health. If you’re struggling, Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123.

“I carried his coffin. It’s the only time in my life I felt like I wasn’t able to do something.”

Most people know Harrison from his trade skits, the bricklayer whose videos get building sites laughing at themselves. This conversation is the other side of that. He grew up in Plymouth in an old school world of construction and rugby, where if you cried you did it in private, and he carried that into his twenties.

When rugby ended he lost his structure and his identity almost overnight, and for a long time it felt like he was just existing. His marriage fell apart, he moved back into his parents’ house, and he numbed it with drink and nights out. Then in 2022 his uncle took his own life, and that is what changed what he wanted his platform to be for.

What we get into:

Growing up in Plymouth, and an all-boys school where nobody talked about how they felt

Why mental health on a building site is a money problem as much as a stigma problem - if you’re self-employed and you don’t turn up, you don’t get paid

Finishing rugby, losing his routine and identity, and feeling like he was just existing

The walk where he finally broke down and said out loud that he was struggling, and the relief that came with it

His marriage ending, the betrayal he found out about later, and what it taught him about being open in a relationship

Going to therapy this year after years of putting it off, and why he wishes he had gone sooner

Comparison, social media, and never stopping long enough to appreciate what he has achieved

How trade skits took him from the building site to around 860,000 followers, and the four years of posting most people never saw

Losing his uncle to suicide, carrying the coffin, and the only video where he has ever cried on camera

Why he believes prevention means breaking the chain earlier, long before anyone reaches crisis

What he would say to himself at 30, and whether laying bricks or making content is harder

Tom lost his brother Liam, and there is a lot in Harrison’s story that will be familiar to anyone who has lost someone: the questions that never get answered, and what it does to the people left behind. If you have been through something similar, this one will stay with you.

An honest conversation about grief, mental health in the trades, divorce, therapy and what it takes to rebuild.

Subscribe to Tom's Talks for a new episode every week.
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Subscribe for weekly conversations with inspiring guests sharing real stories about resilience, growth and overcoming life’s challenges.

It would mean the world to me if you were to like, comment, subscribe on my videos whilst I share my ongoing journey.

Check out my website: https://toms-talks.co.uk/
Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toms.talks__/

Proudly sponsored by: https://osiofficefurniture.co.uk/
Support the show
Check out my website: toms-talks.co.uk
Follow me on Instagram: toms.talks__
Follow me on TikTok: tomstalks
Subscribe on YouTube: TomsTalks

The Tom's Talks Podcast is a place where we speak to a vast array of people from different walks of life and find out what makes them them. We will speak about their unique journey and delve into the highs and the lows which ultimately define them. 

⚠️ This episode discusses suicide in detail, as well as addiction and grief. If you’re struggling, Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123.

“I’ve got four children. And that’s never going to change.”

Tomorrow marks eleven years since Tom lost his brother Liam to suicide. Tom has spent seven years telling his side of that story. In this episode, he sits down with the people who lived it alongside him: his mum, his sister and his brother.

This is the conversation about suicide bereavement that families rarely get to hear. It covers the guilt, the anger, the things they said and wish they hadn’t, and the long years of loving someone through addiction while being terrified of what might come. It also covers how a family that was nearly pulled apart ended up holding each other together.

Liam was charismatic, hilarious and fiercely loved. He quoted films constantly, gave everyone a nickname and could make a room laugh without trying. He was also in pain. After a serious accident at 16 and years of addiction, the people closest to him were left trying to help someone who couldn’t yet ask for it.

What we get into:
- The memories that still make them laugh: the film quotes, the nicknames, the Mrs. Doubtfire impressions
- Liam as a person, not just the story of how he died
- What it was like to love someone through addiction, and why the family says the drug was never really the problem
- His accident at 16, the long recovery, and the link between brain injury and mental health they only understood years later
- The impossible mix of love and anger, and being embarrassed by someone you’d do anything for
- A mum who was a mental health nurse and still carries the question: “should I have been able to fix him?”
- The funeral, the 500 people who came, and the moments from that week nobody expects to remember
- How each of them grieved differently: pulling over in the woods on the way to work, crying in the gym shower, being afraid to cry in front of each other
- The voicemail she played again and again, and the day she couldn’t remember what his voice sounded like
- “How many children have you got?” The question that still stops a grieving parent in their tracks
- How the next generation keeps Liam in the family, including a little girl who never met him but talks about her uncle all the time
- Why the occasions are harder than the ordinary days
- A poem written ten years on, read for the first time
- Tom on finding purpose in the work he does, and why it’s exhausting being in his own head
- What they’d say to Liam if they had one more day
- Advice for any family in the first year after losing someone to suicide

If someone you love is struggling, the message this family wants you to hear is simple: you’re not a burden, you are loved, and there is always a way through, even when it can’t be seen.

Whether you’ve been bereaved by suicide, are supporting someone who’s struggling, or just want to understand what grief looks like from the inside, this one is for you.

Subscribe to Tom's Talks for a new episode every week.
If you found value in this episode:
👍 Like the video
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🔔 Subscribe for weekly conversations that matter

Subscribe for weekly conversations with inspiring guests sharing real stories about resilience, growth and overcoming life’s challenges.

It would mean the world to me if you were to like, comment, subscribe on my videos whilst I share my ongoing journey.

Check out my website: https://toms-talks.co.uk/
Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toms.talks__/

Proudly sponsored by: https://osiofficefurniture.co.uk/
Support the show
Check out my website: toms-talks.co.uk
Follow me on Instagram: toms.talks__
Follow me on TikTok: tomstalks
Subscribe on YouTube: TomsTalks

The Tom's Talks Podcast is a place where we speak to a vast array of people from different walks of life and find out what makes them them. We will speak about their unique journey and delve into the highs and the lows which ultimately define them. 

This episode discusses suicide, addiction and mental health. If you're struggling, Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123.

"I don't think anybody wants to really die. I think they want the pain to stop."

At 30, Adam Smith was single, overweight, jobless and back living with his mum and dad. He had been the golden boy of a hospitality career, working 80 hour weeks and drinking a bottle of whiskey on a weekend while still turning up to run the bar. Then he was signed off with depression, his partner left, three family members died in the space of a few weeks, and his employer quietly managed him out.

At his best friend's dad's wake he drank eight pints, said goodbye to his parents thinking it was for the last time, and got in the car intending to crash it. He was doing 100 miles an hour looking for a bridge when his phone rang on the dashboard. It was his mum, calling to ask whether he wanted her to drop his wallet round later.

He pulled into a lay by and cried for five hours. He has not had a drink since, and he now coaches founders and CEOs for a living, having worked with over 500 people in six years.

What we get into:
The compound years in hospitality - 80 hour weeks, drinking after shifts, and the Christmas he could only tell what day it was by how busy the bar was
Being signed off with depression, his partner leaving, and three bereavements in a matter of weeks
The wake, the eight pints, and the drive that was meant to be his last
The phone call that interrupted it, and why he puts it down to dumb luck rather than anything divine
Why he believes nobody actually wants to die, they just want the pain to stop
Giving up alcohol - the flat pint in the Lake District, the 30 days that became 60, and the Christmas he realised he did not need it
The honest reason he drank, which was never really about the drink
The moderation maths, and why "everything in moderation" falls apart the moment you count it
What 20 years of studying human behaviour tells him about why people leave cruel comments online
The Drama Triangle - victim, rescuer, persecutor - and what to say to your kid or your partner instead of "don't be so silly"
The question that defuses almost any argument at home: what do you need from me right now?
Adam coaching Tom live on camera through one of his most powerful exercises, and Tom's reaction straight afterwards

"Have you had enough pain yet?" - the question he asks every client, and why change only comes after the answer is yes

Tom has spoken before about losing his brother Liam, and there is a lot here that will land for anyone who has watched someone they love struggle and not known what to say. Adam is unusually clear about what actually helps, and it is rarely what we reach for first.

An honest conversation about rock bottom, suicide, sobriety, men's mental health, grief and the practical psychology of getting unstuck.

Subscribe to Tom's Talks for a new episode every week.
If you found value in this episode:
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Subscribe for weekly conversations with inspiring guests sharing real stories about resilience, growth and overcoming life’s challenges.

It would mean the world to me if you were to like, comment, subscribe on my videos whilst I share my ongoing journey.

Check out my website: https://toms-talks.co.uk/
Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toms.talks__/

Proudly sponsored by: https://osiofficefurniture.co.uk/
Support the show
Check out my website: toms-talks.co.uk
Follow me on Instagram: toms.talks__
Follow me on TikTok: tomstalks
Subscribe on YouTube: TomsTalks

The Tom's Talks Podcast is a place where we speak to a vast array of people from different walks of life and find out what makes them them. We will speak about their unique journey and delve into the highs and the lows which ultimately define them. 

This episode discusses suicide, addiction and mental health. If you're struggling, Samaritans are available 24/7 on 116 123.

"When Liam died, all he really needed was somebody to put his arm around him and say: you're not a burden."

For this one we turned the show around. Tom has spent years asking other people the hardest questions of their lives. This time Joe asks them back, and Tom answers every one of them.

Tom's brother Liam was knocked off his scooter at 16 and spent months in hospital, some of it in an induced coma. At 18 the compensation came through. What followed was years of addiction that Tom freely admits he misunderstood completely at the time, because a decade ago nobody was talking about any of this. For a long time he just thought his brother was being selfish. Liam died at 22, and what came next was anger, self blame, and a long stretch of hating the world and himself.

This is the full story behind Tom's Talks, told properly for the first time. At the start of 2024 he had fewer than 10,000 followers. He now has over 600,000, and the whole thing started with one talk in a school and a photo of its final slide.

What we get into:
Liam's accident at 16, the months in hospital, and the compensation that landed when he turned 18
How the addiction took hold, and why Tom spent years believing his brother simply did not care
Liam's death at 22, and the anger and self blame that followed
The first talk he ever gave in a school, and the last slide that ended it: suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem
Getting paid to speak for the first time, and the moment he realised this could be a career rather than a mission he funded himself
The man who stopped him outside a club in Leeds at 3am to tell him his videos had saved his life
Becoming a dad to Daisy, the guilt of not being present enough, and what fatherhood has changed in him
Why he spends so little time on social media despite the numbers, and the one rule he has about who to follow
Why "it's okay not to be okay" is only half of it, and what has to come after the talking
The conversation he would still love to have with his brother, and the apology he wants to give him
What he would say to himself the day after Liam died

If you have ever watched someone you love change and not understood why, or lost them before you worked it out, this one will be hard to listen to and worth it anyway. It is an honest conversation about grief, addiction, men's mental health, guilt and what it actually takes to rebuild.

Subscribe to Tom's Talks for a new episode every week.

If you found value in this episode:
👍 Like the video
💬 Comment your biggest takeaway
🔔 Subscribe for weekly conversations that matter

Subscribe for weekly conversations with inspiring guests sharing real stories about resilience, growth and overcoming life’s challenges.

It would mean the world to me if you were to like, comment, subscribe on my videos whilst I share my ongoing journey.

Check out my website: https://toms-talks.co.uk/
Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/toms.talks__/

Proudly sponsored by: https://osiofficefurniture.co.uk/
Support the show
Check out my website: toms-talks.co.uk
Follow me on Instagram: toms.talks__
Follow me on TikTok: tomstalks
Subscribe on YouTube: TomsTalks