Love Sober Podcast

In this episode of Love Sober Podcast, Kate talks with Victoria Vanstone, founder of Sober Awkward, writer, podcaster and author of A Thousand Wasted Sundays.

Victoria shares her journey from Reading pub culture and wild backpacking years (including blowing off part of her finger with a firework) through motherhood, anxiety and the moment she realised she could “step off the roundabout” and choose a sober life.

Kate and Victoria explore people‑pleasing, self‑abandonment, ADHD and rejection sensitivity, perimenopause and midlife rage, and how sobriety becomes a messy, beautiful “welcome mat” back home to yourself.

Growing up in Reading pub culture, wild backpacking years and a Millennium firework accident that blew off part of her finger – Victoria Vanstone always wore chaos as a badge of honour.

Motherhood, anxiety and Sunday shame finally brought her to a quiet rock bottom: “I just can’t f*cking do this anymore.”

We talk about people‑pleasing, self‑abandonment, ADHD and rejection sensitivity, perimenopause, and why sobriety is the most interesting thing she’s ever done.

Plus: social pivots in midlife, sober retreats in Thailand, the chicken dance, and rediscovering childlike joy without alcohol.

Listen now on Love Sober Podcast and share with a sober or sober‑curious friend who needs this.

Links & Resources

Victoria Vanstone / Sober Awkward

Website: [Sober Awkward] https://www.soberawkward.com/

Podcast: https://www.soberawkward.com/

Books: 1000 Wasted Sundays and Mumming: A Year of Trying and Failing to Be a Better Parent – [Book links]https://www.soberawkward.com/

Thailand sober retreats with Sober Dave: https://www.soberawkward.com/

Kate & Love Sober

Love Sober website & programs: [Love Sober] https://www.lovesober.com/

Group program: Love Your Sober Summer – 6‑week group coaching for navigating summer triggers, holidays, nervous system regulation and boundaries: [Love Your Sober Summer] https://www.lovesober.com/love-your-sober-summer

Books & ideas mentioned

The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober – Catherine Gray

Hagitude – Sharon Blackie 

Women Who Run with the Wolves – Clarissa Pinkola Estés 

Creatrix / Burning Woman – Lucy H. Pearce 

ADHD & Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD) 

https://www.soberawkward.com/

Vic's new book 'Mumming - A Year of Trying to be a Better Parent' is out now! 

Grab a cuppa and let's chat x

What if the cracks aren’t something to hide?

In this episode of the Love Sober Podcast, we explore the Japanese art of kintsugi — the practice of repairing broken pottery with gold — as a powerful metaphor for the sober journey, midlife healing, and self-compassion.

Together, we work with a kintsugi kit and reflect on the principles of imperfection, impermanence, and incompleteness. We talk honestly about what happens when life doesn’t go to plan, when coping mechanisms stop working, and how recovery asks us to show up gently, consistently, and truthfully — one day at a time.

Rather than striving for perfection or a “fixed” version of ourselves, this conversation explores the possibility that healing might actually deepen us. That the places we’ve cracked open can become places of wisdom, softness, creativity, and connection.

In this episode we explore:

What kintsugi teaches us about sobriety and recovery

The emotional weight of perfectionism in midlife

Why self-compassion matters more than self-criticism

Impermanence, nervous systems, and learning to stay present

How alcohol-free living creates space for repair and reconnection

The beauty of becoming whole — not flawless

Small daily practices that help us keep showing up for ourselves

This is a gentle, reflective conversation for anyone navigating sobriety, burnout, perimenopause, emotional healing, or simply the messy beauty of being human.

You do not have to become perfect to begin again.

Journal Prompt
Where in your life are you being invited to soften rather than fix?

Mentioned in this episode

Kintsugi: the Japanese art of repairing pottery with gold

Self-compassion in recovery

Nervous system regulation and embodied healing

Midlife sobriety and identity shifts

If this episode resonated, share it with a friend or leave a review — it helps more women find the conversation.

Let's grab a cuppa and chat

Kate & Helen x

Podcast notes: Kate Codrington on Second Spring, menopause, rest and elderhood
In this episode I speak with the wonderful Kate Codrington about menopause as a powerful life transition rather than a “decline”. We explore the idea of Second Spring, the seasonal map of midlife, sobriety, rest, grief, nervous system repair, women’s circles, and the emerging path into elderhood.

Main themes
Menopause as a transition, not a decline
Kate challenges the cultural story that menopause is a downward slope, reframing it as a sensitive, powerful transition into a more authentic self.Drawing on Chinese medicine and menstrual cycle awareness, Kate explains post-menopause as a renewed spring: a time of clearer energy, deeper wisdom and a new relationship with self.

The end of people-pleasing
We talk about oestrogen, belonging, fawning, niceness and the “good daughter of the patriarchy” — and why menopause can bring rage, clarity and a glorious reduction in giving a fuck.

Sobriety and menopause as awakenings
Both sobriety and menopause ask us to stop numbing, stop performing and begin listening to what is actually true.

Rest as deep medicine
Kate shares how yoga nidra and a simple 15-minute daily stop became part of her own healing. We talk about rest not as another self-care task, but as a way of softening the nervous system over time.

The foundations matter
Sleep, hydration, nourishing food, less alcohol, pleasure, movement, connection and nervous system care are not glamorous quick fixes, but they are the real work.

Grief, loss and the seasons
We explore autumn and winter as maps for grief, shedding and endings — and how grief can deepen our commitment to life.Midlife often brings both a fierce need for solitude and a longing for women’s community. We talk about the shadow and healing of returning to circle.

Elderhood and contribution
Kate speaks beautifully about elderhood as authenticity, discernment, alignment, contribution and modelling another way of living — not necessarily loud leadership, but quiet wisdom.

 

Mentioned in this episode
Kate Codrington’s books:
Second Spring: The Self-Care Guide to Menopause
The Perimenopause Journal

Kate’s podcast:
Life — An Inside Job

FIND KATE AT https://www.katecodrington.co.uk/

Love Sober note
If this conversation speaks to where you are, my six-week group programme Love Your Sober Summer begins on 21 June. We’ll explore summer triggers, socialising, holidays, rest, nervous system support and how to feel more like yourself without relying on alcohol. Small group, six live coaching calls, seasonal tools and support. More at lovesober.com.

Episode 1: Tiny Joy for When Life Feels  F***ed
with Kate Baily and guest host Helen Lees

Welcome back to the Love Sober Podcast — the podcast for the sober and sober curious.

In this first episode of the new season, Kate is joined by new guest host Helen Lees for a heartfelt conversation about tiny joy — those small, sensory, grounding moments that can help us through grief, overwhelm, cravings, stress, and the sheer weight of life.

Together, Kate and Helen explore how alcohol can disconnect us from real pleasure and presence, and how sobriety helps us gently rebuild a toolkit of comfort, connection and self-resourcing.

They talk about grief, motherhood, nervous system care, sensory rituals, dopamine, play, cravings, and the surprising power of tiny things — from soft clothes and candles to pesto, poached eggs, cold water, dogs, lipstick and woodland light.

This is an honest, compassionate conversation about finding anchors in difficult times, and learning how to stay in the solution, one small moment at a time.

In this episode, we explore:

What “tiny joy” means in sober life

Why small comforts matter in grief, stress and early sobriety

How alcohol promises relief but disconnects us from real joy

Building a sober toolkit for cravings and emotional overwhelm

Sensory interventions and micro-pleasures that help regulate the nervous system

Play, ritual, nature and self-parenting in recovery

Why sobriety is about what we add in, not just what we remove

Mentioned in this episode:

The Embodied Queen Retreat with Rachel Brady and Cybele Botran

Love Sober Life School — our 12-week spring/summer programme for sober and sober curious women

Reflection questions from this episode:

What does tiny joy mean to you personally?

When have you noticed alcohol promising joy but disconnecting you from it?

What small pleasures help interrupt cravings or bring you back to yourself?

If this episode resonated, we’d love to hear from you.

Get in touch:
www.lovesober.com

Links:

Love Sober website: https://www.lovesober.com

Love Sober Life School: https://www.lovesober.com

Contact us: [email protected]

What if you could meet yourself with the care you always needed? In this episode, I talk with Cybele Botran about the transformative practice of reparenting.

Cybele is a trusted guide for women on the path of emotional healing. She is a Certified Trauma-Informed SHERECOVERS® Coach, an ICF Professional Certified Coach (PCC), and a Mother Hunger® Trained Facilitator. Her work centers on reparenting as a powerful modality for transformation. Through one-to-one coaching, courses, groups, and retreats, Cybele creates supportive spaces where women can reconnect with their most tender selves.

✨ Where to find Cybele

Instagram 

Facebook

LinkedIn

https://www.cybelebotran.com/

 

🌿 Retreat Invitation 🌿
Cybele and Rachel are delighted to be co-hosting a Luxury Healing Retreat for Sober or Sober Curious Women this November in Cornwall, UK.

A Luxury Healing Retreat for Sober or Sober Curious Women to Reclaim Their Power
📅 November 9–15, 2025 | Cornwall, UK
👭 Women Only | Alcohol-Free
🏡 5-Star Luxury

https://www.rachelbradyyoga.com/luxury-cornwall-retreat-sober-yoga-women

My substack 

AMAZING OFFER!!! Email me for a £333 discount code for the retreat at [email protected]