School Behaviour Secrets with Simon Currigan and Emma Shackleton

Some of the pupils who need the most support are the ones who refuse it.
They say they’re fine. They push adults away. They avoid check-ins, mentoring and pastoral support - then struggle or explode under pressure.
In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, we explore why this happens, through the lens of avoidant attachment. Not as a label, but as a way of understanding why help itself can feel unsafe for some children.
You’ll learn why well-meaning support strategies sometimes backfire, what rejecting help is really communicating, and how small shifts in adult approach can make support feel safer without forcing closeness.
This episode is especially useful for teachers, SENCOs and school leaders working with hard-to-reach pupils who appear independent but struggle beneath the surface.
Plus, we also share practical techniques to use with the pupils you work with - who survive by not needing anyone.
A must-listen if you’ve ever thought: “Why won’t they let me help?”
Important links:
Get our FREE SEND Behaviour Handbook: https://beaconschoolsupport.co.uk/send-handbook
Download other FREE behaviour resources for use in school: https://beaconschoolsupport.co.uk/resources.php

Why do children sometimes say things online they would never say face to face?
In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, you’ll learn why social media can make behaviour escalate so quickly - and why it’s not simply about children being unkind. 
Drawing on psychology and real-world school experience, we explain how social media and messaging apps remove the natural feedback that helps children regulate their behaviour - and why that’s important.
You’ll come away with a brain-based framework to understand online cruelty in children that you can share with staff and parents - and ideas for supporting children to slow down and make better choices on social media.
Important links:
Get our FREE SEND Behaviour Handbook: https://beaconschoolsupport.co.uk/send-handbook
Download other FREE behaviour resources for use in school: https://beaconschoolsupport.co.uk/resources.php

Emotional regulation is not a curriculum - and treating it like one backfires.
Many pupils can explain their emotions, name calming strategies, and talk confidently about what they “should” do… yet still struggle to cope when things get hard in the classroom.
In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, you’ll learn why teaching emotional regulation as a set of lessons often doesn’t work, and how schools can accidentally make things worse by confusing facts about regulation with emotional regulation skills.
Using a real-world pupil story, we break down:
Why recalling strategies often fails when children are dysregulated
How automatic behaviours always win under stress
Why motivation doesn’t come first – and what should replace it
And how regulation is built through repeated, practical, supported experiences, not curriculum content
You’ll also hear a simple, classroom-friendly model – Co-regulation, Practise, Fade - to help pupils develop regulation through co-regulation, without adding more programmes or workload.
If you’re supporting pupils who “know the strategies” but still struggle in the moment, this episode will help you reframe what’s really going on - and what actually helps.
Important links:
Get your FREE Beacon School Support guide to helping children manage their strong emotions
Get our FREE SEND Behaviour Handbook: https://beaconschoolsupport.co.uk/send-handbook
Download other FREE behaviour resources for use in school: https://beaconschoolsupport.co.uk/resources.php
Secondary school leaders: Join our in-person event in Birmingham
Where you’ll learn what really drives lesson avoidance in secondary schools - and leave with a practical whole-school framework for reducing internal truancy.. Register now.

More children are struggling to cope with small setbacks in school.
Mistakes feel overwhelming. Frustration escalates quickly. And learning grinds to a halt.
In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, we explore why this isn’t about children being “less resilient” - and why common advice like “push through” or “try harder” often makes things worse.
You’ll learn how modern home and school environments have reduced children’s opportunities to practise coping with difficulty - and what that means for behaviour, learning and staff workload.
You’ll discover:
What resilience really is (and what it isn’t)
Why a packed curriculum and over-scaffolding can unintentionally undermine coping skills
The difference between resilience and grit - and where grit is often misunderstood
4 practical classroom strategies to help children stay engaged when learning feels hard
How to support emotional regulation without removing challenge
This episode is for teachers, SENCOs and school leaders who want to build genuine resilience in children - without blame, pressure or unrealistic expectations.
Important links:
Get your FREE Beacon School Support guide to helping children manage their strong emotions
Get our FREE SEND Behaviour Handbook: https://beaconschoolsupport.co.uk/send-handbook
Download other FREE behaviour resources for use in school: https://beaconschoolsupport.co.uk/resources.php
Secondary school leaders: Join our in-person event in Birmingham
Where you’ll learn what really drives lesson avoidance in secondary schools - and leave with a practical whole-school framework for reducing internal truancy.. Register now.

Teachers are often told they need to be “more assertive” in the classroom.
But what does that actually mean when behaviour starts to wobble, pressure rises, and everyone’s watching?
In this episode of School Behaviour Secrets, you’ll learn what assertiveness really looks like in practice - and why it isn’t about being louder, stricter, or more dominant. Instead, it’s about clarity, calm and making better decisions before you even open your mouth.
You’ll explore why many behaviour confrontations escalate because adults are focused on “winning” the moment, and how redefining what success looks like can lead to calmer classrooms and fewer repeat issues over time.
The episode breaks assertiveness down into clear, practical strategies you can use straight away, including how to steady your body language, adjust your voice, give instructions that don’t invite debate, and choose the right moment to follow things up.
If you work in a classroom and want behaviour to improve without damaging relationships, escalating situations, or feeling emotionally drained, this episode will give you a simple, usable framework to take into your next lesson.
Important links:
Get your copy of the Classroom Management Scoresheet: https://beaconschoolsupport.co.uk/classroom-management-scoresheet
Download other FREE behaviour resources for use in school: https://beaconschoolsupport.co.uk/resources
Secondary school leaders: Join our in-person event in Birmingham
Where you’ll learn what really drives lesson avoidance in secondary schools - and leave with a practical whole-school framework for reducing internal truancy.. Register now.