Let Them Lead: The Child-Led Autism Podcast

SAVE YOUR FREE SPOT FOR THE WORKSHOP 11/10
You have an IEP, a plan of care, or a progress report due, and you're staring at a blank goal box with the cursor blinking at you. Before you type "Johnny will…", this episode gives you one question to ask first: what do I actually know about how this child communicates today?
I walk through the exercise I do before I write any goal. I call it one sentence, but you'll hear me admit I've never written a single sentence in my life, so use notes, bullets, or a real sentence. The point is to take a few minutes to describe the child before you decide what to target.
In this episode:
The story of Ava and her mom, who said "she really isn't communicating" and then described a dozen ways she was. Ava didn't change that day, but her mom's frame of reference did.
The four parts of the exercise: what the child does (not what he can't do), where it happens and with whom, what job the communication is doing for him, and where it could go next.
How to translate deficit phrases like "does not request" or "lacks joint attention" into what a child actually does.
Why communication that only happens with mom at home still counts, and what AAC user Kayla Ireland taught me about choosing the modality that makes sense in each setting.
How to give paras, teachers, and families a clear picture of their job, such as "when Johnny takes your hand to the fridge, model from his perspective: let's get a drink."
Why I start from skills a child is already showing and build rubric goals from there.
Free live workshop, Tuesday, November 10: I'll build a rubric communication goal with you and demo Goal Studio, the tool I use to write goals and create data sheets in one place. There are two sessions, 12 PM and 7 PM Eastern. Seats are limited, so register for your ticket here: [workshop link]
Mentioned in this episode:
The Skill Decision Tree, an interactive tool inside The Childled Collective: join.childled.org
Goal Studio

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Some of the best child-led sessions are quiet ones. The child is regulated, you're right there with them, and things just flow. Then the session ends and the doubt starts: did I even do my job? Nicole opens with a story about a therapist at her clinic. A parent asked what "work" they got done, and the therapist froze. Nicole has covered how to explain a session to parents, in notes, and to other adults. This time she goes further back and asks where the feeling comes from. She names five sources: the data sheet, the clock, the audience, our own exhaustion, and a narrow picture of what engagement should look like. Then she explains why an easy session is often the result of skilled work. She also shares video of one of her own sessions from a few years ago, where she went into "performer mode" with a child who needed something very different.
In this episode
01:13 The session that went almost too well, and the spiral that follows
03:10 A therapist gets asked "What work did you do?" and freezes
04:37 Common ground when parents and other adults use the word "work"
06:22 Asking where the self-doubt comes from
08:57 Source one: the data sheet
11:42 Source two: the clock
13:49 Source three: the audience, including parents watching and grad school perfectionism
16:18 Source four: exhaustion as a badge of honor
19:04 Source five: what we were taught engagement looks like, versus how it often looks for autistic kids
22:21 Why the easy session is often the result of the work
24:28 Nicole's own session video and "performer mode"
27:59 A simple check for the next time "I didn't do enough" shows up
Key takeaways
The feeling that a calm session "wasn't enough" was taught to us through data sheets, session minutes, productivity expectations, people watching us, burnout culture, and neurotypical ideas of engagement. It isn't a sign you did a bad job.
Much of child-led work doesn't fit trial-by-trial data. One meaningful moment can matter more than a sheet of tallies.
Packing more into a session can overwhelm a child and take away the downtime they need to try new skills and connect.
For many autistic kids, engagement can look like lining up toys while you hand them the next one, scripting while glancing at you, or bringing you something so you'll do something with it.
The better you get at being child-led, the easier your sessions can look, and the more your brain may say you're not doing enough.
Instead of judging a session by how much you did or how tired you are, ask: did what I offered match what the child needed? If yes, it was a productive session. If not, you know what to adjust.

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An autistic child can point to "hurt" on a picture card in your therapy room. Five minutes later they fall on the playground, and they have no reliable way to tell anybody. So did we actually teach that child to communicate pain?
In this episode Nicole gets honest about the feelings activities she used to love (Howie's Owies, we're looking at you) and the gap she kept running into between knowing a feelings word and being able to reach for it when the body is actually feeling it. She walks through interoception from the inside, including a very personal story about her own ADHD, and shares the small shift at snack time that changed how she teaches feelings words.
 
Spoiler alert: it starts with a bag of goldfish.
WHAT YOU'LL HEAR INSIDE THIS EPISODE
Why a full data sheet on feelings words can fool all of us

The circle time kid who picks "happy" while actively crying

What interoception actually is, in plain language

Nicole's own story of a snoozed body alarm, and the shame that came with it

The one swap at snack time that costs you nothing: "I'm hungry" instead of "I want goldfish"

Why hunger, thirst, and full are the easiest feelings to start with

A 4 a.m. Twix bar and the summer of freeze pops (it's relevant, promise)

Why she stopped teaching "size of the problem"

Anger as the last stop on a road that started much earlier

The one moment she never tries to teach a feelings word

Howie's Owies, the JJ doll, and a set of Sonic visuals

Why one deep model beats 50 labels

The session where she modeled "I'm sick," and the text from a mom later that week

"Dinner, dinner, dinner time" and twenty animal crackers

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A lot of SLPs are using AI to help write goals. Some of us chose it, some of us had a district choose for us, and some of us just opened our documentation software one day and there it was.
So let's say it out loud and talk about what actually matters.
Nicole recorded this one with 20 minutes before her next meeting (spoiler alert: she went two minutes over). She shares where she stands on AI and why she ended up in the middle, the three big reasons so many of us reach for it at goal writing time, and a question from a special education professor's blog post that she thinks we should all be asking about every sentence we write about a child.
WHAT YOU'LL HEAR INSIDE THIS EPISODE
Why this episode is not about whether AI is good or bad

Nicole's stance: not an AI purist, not fully anti-AI either

What it's like for an all-or-nothing brain to live in the middle

A business mastermind full of goat milk soap makers (it's relevant, promise)

The three reasons so many of us use AI for goal writing

The hours she used to spend staring at a blinking cursor for one goal

Why AI goals can sound perfect and still miss the point, or miss IDEA

The question underneath David Bateman's list: can I stand behind this sentence about this child?

Why Aligned Practice doesn't require AI at all

 
Here's the blog post mentioned in this episode: https://spedlawblog.com/2026/06/23/using-artificial-intelligence-ai-to-assist-in-writing-iep-goals/

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You read the goal out loud. The parent nods. "Yep, that sounds good." And on to the next one. 
But were they agreeing... or did nobody ever tell them they get a say?
In this episode Nicole looks at a question most of us spend almost no time on: who actually decides what we work on? She shares a small study of occupational therapists that held up an uncomfortable mirror, a story about a script she couldn't decode (and a mom who could), and an admission about parent coaching that a lot of us will recognize. Then she gets practical about bringing families in before the goal is written, and what to do when the questionnaire never comes back.