We're reached the end of season one of The Liberation Effect! A huge thank you to all of our guests this season for sharing their stories so openly. We will be back very soon for season two! If you would like to be a guest on The Liberation Effect, you can apply for one of our limited therapeutic sessions recorded for the podcast. Your identity is fully protected, and only twelve sessions are published each year. You'll also find courses, resources and support at: https://liberationacademy.co.uk/therapy/ Grow, connect and thrive with The Hub: https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe
40. Is It Autism or Trauma? (Replay)
14/01/2026 | 1h 22 mins.
This week we're replaying one of our listeners' favourite episodes in which Patrick asks, is it autism or trauma? When we’ve grown up in chaos, it can be hard to untangle our trauma from who we truly are. In this episode, Patrick explores the tangled web of trust, identity, and survival after a lifetime shaped by narcissistic abuse - and a recent autism diagnosis that’s reframed everything. As he sits down with Helen, we witness a moving conversation about how trauma disguises itself in our thoughts, how autism and trauma intertwine, and how addiction can become a clever - if costly - coping mechanism. Together, they unpack people-pleasing, perfectionism, emotional disconnection, and the shame that lingers long after the abuse ends. This is an episode about rebuilding from the rubble, reclaiming joy, and learning to trust yourself again. If you would like to be a guest on The Liberation Effect, you can apply for one of our limited therapeutic sessions recorded for the podcast. Your identity is fully protected, and only twelve sessions are published each year: https://liberationacademy.co.uk/recorded-session-application/ Grow, connect and thrive with The Hub: https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe
39. Leaving With No Resources
07/01/2026 | 53 mins.
In this solo episode, Helen responds to a listener who feels at breaking point in a relationship shaped by chronic stress, emotional withdrawal and fear. With two young children in the home, she explores the weight of being expected to absorb a partner’s distress, manage the emotional atmosphere, and question your own character for reacting to behaviour that feels unsafe. Losing patience is often framed as a personal failing, but this episode challenges that belief directly, reframing it as a signal that boundaries have been crossed for too long. Helen unpacks the difference between explanation and excuse, especially when stress is used to justify shutting down, lashing out or emotionally disappearing. She speaks to the impact on children, the danger of walking on eggshells, and how childhood trauma can make people more likely to self blame rather than name harm. The episode also addresses financial fear, preparation rather than panic, and the importance of protecting emotional safety without minimising reality. This is a compassionate exploration of accountability, patterns, and the right to stop tolerating what hurts.
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe
38. Why Does My Body Still Feel Like a Battleground?
24/12/2025 | 1h 35 mins.
This week Helen is joined by Lucy, and together they explore the lasting impact of growing up with criticism, shaming and emotional chaos. Despite years of therapy and increased awareness, Lucy still carries a harsh internal voice shaped by her relationship with her mother, particularly around her body, appearance and worth. Confidence was treated as something dangerous, and self acceptance often led to ridicule or punishment, leaving Lucy hyper aware of how she is seen and quick to turn against herself.The episode looks at how body shame and self loathing can become coping strategies in homes where safety is unpredictable and love feels conditional. Lucy reflects on growing up around fear, conflict and instability, and how focusing on her body became a way to gain control when everything else felt overwhelming. It is an exploration of projection, survival and identity, and the slow work of separating your own truth from the voices that taught you to stay small. If you would like to be a guest on The Liberation Effect, you can apply for one of our limited therapeutic sessions recorded for the podcast. Your identity is fully protected, and only twelve sessions are published each year: https://liberationacademy.co.uk/recorded-session-application/ Grow, connect and thrive with The Hub: https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe
37. Is it Still Abuse if She's Autistic?
17/12/2025 | 1h 32 mins.
In this episode, Helen speaks with Kate about the kind of guilt that forms when a child learns to survive by explaining away harm. Growing up in an emotionally unsafe home taught Kate to stay agreeable, take responsibility and protect her parents from accountability, even when their behaviour caused lasting damage. A central thread in the conversation is Kate’s reflection on her mother potentially being autistic, and the painful question of whether understanding that context changes, or excuses, the abuse she experienced.Together, they explore how children internalise blame when a parent cannot attune, regulate or repair, and how compassion is often confused with self erasure. Kate speaks about the fear of anger, the pressure to be fair at her own expense, and the belief that holding someone accountable is unkind. Helen challenges this directly, separating explanation from excuse and naming the cost of silencing your own experience.This is a conversation about guilt, power and the right to name harm, even when you understand where it came from.If you would like to be a guest on The Liberation Effect, you can apply for one of our limited therapeutic sessions recorded for the podcast. Your identity is fully protected, and only twelve sessions are published each year: https://liberationacademy.co.uk/recorded-session-application/Grow, connect and thrive with The Hub: https://liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub/
This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit helenvilliersliberation.substack.com/subscribe
You grew up neurodivergent in a toxic household. Now you can't tell if you're the problem, if you're overreacting, or if the thing you're upset about is even a thing. You apologise for existing, you can't say no without a panic attack, and you genuinely don't know what you want for dinner.
Am I The Problem? is a podcast for late-diagnosed ADHD and autistic adults working out what got installed wrong when neurodivergent wiring met an emotionally abusive or narcissistic family. Each week, host Helen Villiers takes one specific glitch, the apology reflex, the inability to know what you actually feel, the panic when you try to set a limit, and reverse-engineers it. What the neurodivergence is doing, what the trauma is doing, and what to actually do about it. Mostly no, you're not the problem. Sometimes, a bit. Either way, here's the mechanism.
Helen Villiers is a psychotherapist with ADHD and co-author of You're Not The Problem. She specialises in adults raised by narcissistic and emotionally abusive parents, particularly those also navigating ADHD, autism, and late diagnosis. Topics include alexithymia, masking, the fawn response, executive function, emotional dysregulation, interoception, hypervigilance, people pleasing, learned helplessness, identity rebuilding after toxic parenting, and the specific challenges of parenting neurodivergent children when you're neurodivergent yourself.
Is This A Thing? is the paid companion show, available on Apple Podcasts Subscriptions or included with Core tier membership and above inside The Hub, Helen's ND inclusive membership community for people recovering from emotional abuse, find it at liberationacademy.co.uk/the-hub.
Released in seasons of 12 episodes. New episodes weekly while we're in one, breaks in between to come up with the next. helenvilliersliberation.substack.com
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