The Rollercoaster Podcast

How do you keep going when the person who helped you survive losing your baby is suddenly gone too?

I sit down with Britt Del Toro for a conversation about infant loss, suicide bereavement, and the grief that follows you into every corner of your life. Britt shares the heartbreaking loss of her 10-week-old son, Zeppelin, her own suicide attempt, and later losing her husband, Troy, to suicide.

What stays with me is her honesty about everything that comes after: the guilt, the unanswered questions, and trying to parent when you can barely get through the day yourself.

In this episode:
Saying goodbye to Zeppelin and choosing organ donation
The depression that deepened after the funeral
Surviving a suicide attempt and reaching for help
Loving Troy through mental illness and grieving his death
Finding moments of faith while living with loss

I’m grateful Britt trusted me with the parts of her story that are still painful to say out loud. She speaks about grief without pretending she has it figured out, and about asking for support when the weight feels unbearable.

If you’re carrying a loss nobody else can see, I hope this conversation helps you feel a little less alone.

Key Moments:
00:00 Losing a baby, then a husband
03:48 The moment Britt found Zeppelin
08:17 The guilt of every “what if”
12:19 Holding her baby one last time
16:47 The heartbreaking choice to donate his organs
21:26 When the funeral ends and grief gets louder
25:17 The nightmares nobody saw
29:25 When grief became a mental health crisis
33:40 Surviving a suicide attempt
41:50 The side of Troy others didn’t see
46:20 Chronic pain and a growing crisis
50:57 The week before everything changed

Connect with Me:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/
Connect with Britt:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/britt_deltoro/

What happens to your faith when you witness suffering so horrific that you begin asking God why He allows it?

I sit down with Alex Barbir, founder of Building Zion, who has risked his life to stand alongside persecuted Christians in Nigeria, where families are being murdered, villages destroyed, and countless survivors left with nothing.

Alex shares heartbreaking firsthand accounts of religious persecution, including a mother cradling her murdered son, families grieving unimaginable losses, and the moments that brought him to tears and challenged his own faith.

In this episode:
The horrifying reality of Christian persecution in Nigeria
What Alex witnessed at massacre sites that still haunts him
Why he believes the church and world are failing innocent families
How witnessing unimaginable suffering challenged his relationship with God
Rebuilding destroyed villages and restoring hope to survivors

This conversation goes far beyond violence and religious persecution. It's about faith in the face of evil, the courage to stand with those who are suffering, and what it truly means to love your neighbor.

Alex's story left me questioning how easily we look away from suffering simply because it isn't happening to us.

Because sometimes the hardest question isn't where God is in suffering, but where we are.

Key Moments:
00:00 The horrifying reality of Christian persecution in Nigeria
03:30 Why the world is ignoring the massacre of Christians
07:00 Who is really behind the attacks on Nigerian Christians
10:40 The religious beliefs behind the violence
14:50 The Nigerian village where hundreds were massacred
18:25 Why nobody came to help the survivors
22:30 Why the Nigerian government isn't stopping the violence
26:30 Are officials hiding the true death toll?
30:35 The heartbreaking moment that broke Alex
34:40 Why does the world look away from suffering?
38:20 Where is God when innocent people are murdered?
42:55 The faces of victims that still haunt him
47:40 The massacre that changed everything
51:35 Why rebuilding villages became his mission
55:30 Choosing faith over fear in dangerous places
59:30 How armed attackers terrorize Christian communities
1:01:00 The unimaginable pain of losing a child
1:04:00 Why these families desperately need protection
1:07:00 What Christians can do to help Nigeria

Connect with Me:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/
Connect with Alex:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alexbarbir/

What happens when the person you've loved almost your entire life is suddenly taken from you?

My guest today is Ashley Leatham, who lost her husband, Scott, a 39-year-old firefighter, to a rare and aggressive cancer called NUT carcinoma. What started as persistent headaches turned into a devastating diagnosis, and just five months later, Ashley was holding her husband's hand as he took his final breath.

They had known each other since they were 12. They built a beautiful life, raised two children, and imagined growing old together. Then everything changed.

Ashley opens up about the unimaginable pain of watching her husband fight for his life, the heartbreak of telling their children he was dying, and the final moments she'll never forget.

In this episode:
The warning signs before Scott's devastating cancer diagnosis
How five months changed their family's lives forever
The heartbreaking final days before Scott passed away
Navigating grief, widowhood, and raising children after loss
Finding purpose, faith, and hope when life feels unbearable

This conversation is a powerful reminder that tomorrow is never promised, the people we love are everything, and even in our darkest moments, there can still be a reason to keep going.

Key Moments:
00:00 The heartbreaking final moments of Scott's cancer battle
03:01 A childhood friendship that became a lifelong love
07:50 The headaches that revealed a deadly cancer diagnosis
12:44 The hospital visit that changed everything
16:14 The rare cancer diagnosis and desperate fight to survive
20:11 When chemotherapy led to a terrifying emergency
23:05 Seven organs failing and the fight to stay alive
27:28 The devastating cancer prognosis that shattered their hope
30:18 How facing death changes what matters most
35:16 The powerful life lesson Scott left behind
38:55 The suspected cancer risks inside the fire station
43:23 The heartbreaking news that Scott had weeks to live
46:16 The final family memories before saying goodbye
49:09 Holding her husband's hand as he took his last breath
52:35 The painful reality of grief after losing a spouse
56:06 Finding purpose and hope after unimaginable loss

Connect with Me:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/
Connect with Nick & Cassie:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dsnyash/

There’s a point where you can’t blame your past anymore. You have to look in the mirror and decide who you’re going to become.

My guest, Shane Goodbar, has lived both sides of that truth.

Shane was sexually abused as a child, learned to hide behind a mask, and eventually found escape through alcohol and drugs. What started as a way to numb the pain spiraled into addiction, broken relationships, multiple DUIs, jail, and a moment where he came terrifyingly close to taking another man’s life.

But this isn’t just a story about addiction. It’s about accountability, recovery, fatherhood, faith, forgiveness, and what happens when you finally stop seeing yourself as the victim of your own life.

In this episode:
How childhood sexual abuse shaped Shane’s identity and need to escape
Why drugs and alcohol became a way to stop feeling
The rock-bottom moment that finally broke through years of denial
How a two-year therapeutic community completely rebuilt his life
Why recovery meant learning to love the man staring back in the mirror

What stayed with me most was Shane’s willingness to own all of it. Not excuse it. Not hide from it. Own it.

Because no matter how lost you’ve become, your past doesn’t have to be where your story ends. But eventually, you have to take the first step.

Key Moments:
00:00 The man behind the mask
03:18 Hiding childhood sexual abuse
06:02 When drugs became the escape
09:41 Living two different lives
13:15 Addiction starts taking over
17:46 The relationship that changed everything
21:07 Becoming a father changes the path
24:49 The lie he told himself about fatherhood
27:07 His fourth DUI and arrest
30:04 Ten days after leaving jail
33:09 When rock bottom finally hit
36:03 Facing the man he had become
39:01 Learning to love himself again
42:03 The identity crisis facing men
45:12 Finding God after years of pain
48:26 Why surrender finally brought peace
51:03 His message to anyone still lost
53:02 What recovery actually gives you

Connect with Me:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/
Connect with Shane:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sr_goodbar/

There are some phone calls that divide your life into a before and an after.

My guest, Kylie Hammonds, was just 26 when she received one of those calls. Her mom, Tabitha, had died suddenly, leaving Kylie and her brother searching for answers about what happened that night.

Kylie takes me inside the events surrounding her mother’s death, the fentanyl discovered during the investigation, the questions surrounding her father, and the painful reality of grieving her mom while also grieving a father who was still alive.

In this episode:
The phone call that changed Kylie’s life forever

The unanswered questions surrounding her mom’s sudden death

Why the investigation left Kylie and her brother searching for answers

How she learned to release the anger she carried toward her father

Why preserving the voices and memories of the people we love matters so much

But this conversation became about so much more than loss.

Kylie shares what three years of grief, anger, prayer and healing have taught her about forgiveness, giving yourself grace, and how easily we convince ourselves we’ll have more time with the people we love.

Later, Kylie’s boyfriend Michael Curtis joins us to share how watching her navigate this unimaginable loss inspired him to create Forevermore, a platform designed to preserve the voices, stories and memories of the people we love.

And at the very end, Kylie plays the only voicemail she has left of her mom.

It’s only a few seconds long, but when it’s the only chance you have to hear someone you love again, a few seconds is everything.

Key Moments:
00:00 The phone call that changed everything
05:13 Flying home without knowing the truth
10:03 Why her brother warned her at the airport
15:07 The heartbreaking scene inside the house
20:05 Strangers caught entering her mom’s office
24:48 Her father’s story starts falling apart
29:10 The addiction Kylie never fully understood
33:07 Fentanyl changes the entire investigation
38:22 The discovery that changed how she saw her dad
42:04 Grieving a father who is still alive
49:21 What grief taught her about surviving loss
57:30 The tragedy that shaped Michael’s view of loss
1:02:00 How Kylie’s grief sparked a bigger idea
1:12:00 Using AI to preserve a loved one’s voice
1:17:00 The questions that uncover your life story
1:25:16 Hearing a loved one’s voice after they’re gone
1:32:12 What she’d give to hear her mom again

Connect with Me:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tyler.hall/

Connect with Kylie:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kylie_knh/

Connect with Michael:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/michaelrrcurtis/