The Inner Compass Podcast with Vanessa Bennett

A lot of us were taught that apologizing means taking full responsibility for the whole dynamic—becoming the problem so the relationship can stabilize—or avoiding repair because it feels too vulnerable. In this episode, Vanessa Bennett, LMFT breaks down the difference between accountability and self-abandonment, and how codependency often functions as relational anxiety management (collapse on one side, defensiveness and distancing on the other). We explore shame as the through-line—why guilt says “I did something,” but shame says “I am the problem”—and what a grounded apology actually sounds like: specific, bounded, and rooted in truth. The invitation is simple and hard: name what’s yours without collapsing or defending, and let reality show you what the relationship can hold.
For educational purposes only. This isn’t therapy.
If you want to go deeper, check out the written companion on Substack and explore community + training at https://www.vanessaBennett.com.

Additional Resources
Explore: VanessaBennett.com
Book: The Motherhood Myth
Community: Inner Compass Collective
Training: Inner Compass Academy

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In yoga, there’s a teaching: the pose begins the moment you want to leave it—and the same is true in healing, intimacy, and hard conversations. In this episode, Vanessa Bennett, LMFT explores how growth isn’t built in your best insights, but in the moment your body tightens, your nervous system wants out, and you choose to stay with yourself instead of disappearing. We talk about the difference between pausing to regulate vs. over-processing as self-protection, and why there’s no perfect script that can guarantee another person’s response. The invitation: practice the “micro-moments” of noticing, allowing, and naming what’s true—so discernment doesn’t become self-abandonment.
For educational purposes only. This isn’t therapy.
If you want to go deeper, check out the written companion on Substack and explore community + training at https://www.vanessaBennett.com.

Additional Resources
Explore: VanessaBennett.com
Book: The Motherhood Myth
Community: Inner Compass Collective
Training: Inner Compass Academy

Connect with Inner Compass
Follow on Instagram
Connect with Vanessa Bennett:

Follow on Instagram
Follow on TikTok
Learn more on Substack
Connect with Vanessa Bennett on LinkedIn

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Codependency isn’t a personal flaw - it’s a cultural adaptation shaped by shame, external validation, and the belief that your worth lives outside of you. In this workshop episode, Vanessa Bennett and Madeleine Downey break down how codependent scripts form a false self and a shadow self, then show how the patterns keep reinforcing themselves in relationship (over/under-functioning, rescuing, and people-pleasing). You’ll get a practical framework for seeing the “unconscious agreement” in the dynamic - and three archetypal invitations to move toward conscious interdependence: the Divine Alchemist, the Mystic, and the Rebel. This is a map for doing the work in real life: staying whole while staying connected.
For educational purposes only. This isn’t therapy.
If you want to go deeper, check out the written companion on Substack and explore community + training at https://www.vanessaBennett.com.

Additional Resources
Explore: VanessaBennett.com
Book: The Motherhood Myth
Community: Inner Compass Collective
Training: Inner Compass Academy

Connect with Inner Compass
Follow on Instagram

Connect with Vanessa Bennett:
Follow on Instagram
Follow on TikTok
Learn more on Substack
Connect with Vanessa Bennett on LinkedIn

Connect with Madeleine Downey
IG: https://www.instagram.com/MadeleineDowney
Substack: https://madeleinedowney.substack.com

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

So much of women’s pain gets individualized as “personal failure,” when so many of our struggles are intelligent adaptations to patriarchal and capitalist systems. In this episode, Vanessa Bennett, LMFT introduces the Trinity Wounds—the witch wound, sister wound, and mother wound—and how they shape women’s relationship to visibility, trust with other women, and the complicated grief we carry toward our mothers.
We start with the loss of the village (the severing of communal support and interdependence), then walk through how each wound shows up in modern life: self-minimization, competition, suspicion, compliance, and disconnection from instinct. You’ll leave with a map for healing that includes context, grief, shadow work, relational repair, and embodiment—choosing what’s truer instead of what’s safer.

For educational purposes only. This isn’t therapy.
If you want to go deeper, check out the written companion on Substack and explore community + training at https://www.vanessaBennett.com.

Additional Resources
Explore: VanessaBennett.com
Book: The Motherhood Myth
Community: Inner Compass Collective
Training: Inner Compass Academy

Connect with Inner Compass
Follow on Instagram
Connect with Vanessa Bennett:

Follow on Instagram
Follow on TikTok
Learn more on Substack
Connect with Vanessa Bennett on LinkedIn
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Assumptions are one of the most common ways we manage anxiety in relationships, but they also keep us stuck in the very patterns we’re trying to heal. In this episode, Vanessa Bennett, LMFT is joined by Madeleine Downey, RCC to unpack how mind-reading, overfunctioning, and “being the bad guy in someone’s story” often come from early beliefs rooted in shame. They walk through a practical loop you can use in real time—belief → assumption → behavior → confirmation—and why bringing “the story I’m telling myself is…” into the light can diffuse conflict and deepen intimacy. This is a relational invitation to stop living inside imagined certainty and start choosing clarity, vulnerability, and responsibility.

Additional Resources
Explore: VanessaBennett.com
Book: The Motherhood Myth
Community: Inner Compass Collective
Training: Inner Compass Academy

Connect with Inner Compass
Follow on Instagram

Connect with Vanessa Bennett:
Follow on Instagram
Follow on TikTok
Learn more on Substack
Connect with Vanessa Bennett on LinkedIn

See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.