School of Rock Bottom

Aish went from drinking 2–3 glasses of wine a week to more than 400 units of alcohol a week. She became physically dependent on alcohol, experienced severe withdrawal and alcohol-induced psychosis, got sober, stayed sober for a year, and then relapsed. Now sober since November 2025 and in early recovery, Aish joins me to tell the story of how her drinking spiralled, what finally brought her home from Canada, why she relapsed, and what recovery looks like this time.
Aish has always struggled to find her place in the world. She began drinking to fit in after a misdiagnosis at 17, and what started as social drinking during years of summers abroad slowly became something far more hidden — and far more severe.
At its worst, Aish became physically dependent on alcohol and experienced severe withdrawal, including vomiting, blackouts, confusion and episodes where reality itself became unstable.
A move to Canada was meant to change everything. It didn't.
By September 2024, Aish describes reaching complete exhaustion — mentally, physically and emotionally — sick and tired of being sick and tired. She flew home, got sober and, a year later, relapsed.
Aish takes us inside the reality of severe alcohol addiction and explains how something that initially helped her feel accepted and normal eventually became something she couldn't function without.
She recalls one of the darkest moments of her addiction: sitting on the floor of an airport toilet in Canada, drinking whiskey while families around her prepared to go on holiday. She was physically unwell, struggling to walk and drinking simply to prevent withdrawal so she could make the journey home.
Aish also opens up about the periods when alcohol affected her perception of reality, including hallucinations and alcohol-induced psychosis. She explains how frightening it became when she could no longer trust what she was seeing and hearing.
The conversation explores what may have been underneath her addiction, including a late diagnosis of ADHD and autism, an ongoing OCD assessment, trauma, masking, intrusive thoughts and years of feeling different and misunderstood.
She talks about lockdown and becoming consumed by intrusive thoughts about death, leading to months of isolation and bad mental health.
Aish is also incredibly honest about relapse. After a year sober, she returned to drinking despite knowing where alcohol had taken her before. She explains why getting sober for other people wasn't enough, what happened when she relapsed and how subsequent withdrawal became even more frightening.
Oliver and Aish discuss the physical and emotional consequences of addiction, the guilt and shame that can follow it, and the difficult work that begins once the drinking stops.
Now in early recovery, Aish is learning to stop masking, confront the parts of her past she previously avoided and discover who she is underneath addiction.
Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e
Sponsor
www.gavinsisters.co.uk
promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!

Topics -
0:00 Trailer & Intro
4:05 A rock bottom moment
6:05 Sleeping tablets & Food
8:05 Feeling "different"
10:35 ADHD & socialising
12:45 Misdiagnosed with bipolar
14:35 Being sectioned
16:05 Masking
17:20 Lockdown accelerates drinking
21:05 OCD
24:05 Alcohol tolerance & 400 units a week
28:20 Suicidal thoughts
29:45 Alcohol psychosis
32:35 Alcohol withdrawal
34:45 Relapse
36:05 The kindling effect
38:05 Wet Brain
40:35 You have to WANT to get sober
41:20 Aish's recovery
43:50 Guilt, shame and vulnerability
48:05 Forgiving yourself
54:20 The joys of sobriety!
56:05 Try everything to get sober!

Follow Aish
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#AlcoholAddiction
#Recovery
#Sobriety

What happens to relationships when you enter recovery? Can love help someone recover, or does recovery have to come first?
In this next quick thought, I revisit a conversation with Joe Sealey as we reflect on one of the biggest questions people ask in early recovery: should you stay single, or can a relationship support lasting sobriety? We explore the reality of addiction, codependency, recovery, and why keeping life simple in those first few months can make all the difference. If you're struggling with cocaine, alcohol, or any form of addiction, or you're supporting someone you love, this conversation offers an honest, compassionate perspective on what recovery really looks like.
It's important to say that this conversation is not suggesting that people already in healthy, supportive relationships should end them. A loving, stable relationship can be one of the greatest sources of strength in recovery. The discussion is about avoiding unnecessary complications in early recovery and recognising when a new relationship might become a distraction from the work of getting well.
Recovery isn't just about stopping drugs or alcohol. It's about rebuilding a life from the ground up. We discuss why so many people in early recovery search for something new to fill the void, whether that's a relationship, a business, a pet, or another obsession, and why that instinct can sometimes become another distraction from the real work.
We also explore the role relationships play in long-term recovery. Is it better to be with someone who understands addiction firsthand, or can a partner outside the recovery world provide the stability and normality that's often missing? It's a deeply honest conversation about love, boundaries, peace at home, and why the healthiest relationships don't always revolve around addiction at all. Of course, many couples who are both in recovery can have healthy relationships too!
The episode also touches on the difficult reality faced by partners of people in active addiction. What should you do when someone is coming down from a binge? When is it time to step back? And how do you support someone without losing yourself in the process?
Finally, we discuss one of the most emotional questions in recovery: can another person save your life? We explore gratitude, dependence, personal responsibility, and why, although love can be a powerful catalyst for change, lasting recovery ultimately has to come from within.
Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE
YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/s76869cw
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About the “THOUGHT” series -
Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.
Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e
Support the podcast -
https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1
Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal
Follow Joe
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#CocaineAddiction
#JoeSealey
#AddictionRecovery

Anthony Kavanagh was living the dream. Signed to Virgin Records at just 18 years old, he went on to achieve eight Top 40 hits, two Top 10 singles, and won Smash Hits Best Male Artist — becoming the pop star he had written down as a teenager that he wanted to become.
But behind the fame, success and recognition was a hidden battle with addiction, alcoholism, identity, loneliness and the desperate search for validation. Anthony believed success would finally make him feel accepted, but the validation he spent years chasing never filled the emptiness underneath.
Anthony was also carrying a secret struggle with his sexual identity and the pressure of hiding parts of himself while living in the public eye.
By his early 20s, after moving to Hollywood in pursuit of bigger success and the bright lights, Anthony began to realise he was in denial about his addictions.
What followed was a devastating descent from pop stardom into addiction, homelessness and complete breakdown. He went from performing in front of thousands of people to living without a home, occasionally being recognised as “that singer” while privately experiencing total collapse.
At his lowest, Anthony’s addiction progressed into a life controlled by alcohol and drugs — morning drinking just to function, hiding alcohol in coffee cups and reaching a point where drinking was no longer a choice but a compulsion, even when his body was rejecting it.
He experienced multiple rehab attempts, relapse and devastating losses while carrying deeper emotional wounds beneath the addiction — the death of his father, his sister’s illness and death, and a lifelong feeling of loneliness that he traces back to childhood.
His memoir Pop Scars documents the full journey from pop success to rock bottom, without excuses or victim mentality. It is a brutally honest account of fame, addiction, shame and identity that is at times as funny as it is heartbreaking, earning rave reviews from readers, including praise from Marian Keyes and The Guardian.
Now four years sober, Anthony Kavanagh speaks openly about alcoholism, addiction recovery, mental health, relapse and the daily work required to rebuild a life.
This is a conversation about what happens when the person the world sees is completely different from the person suffering behind closed doors — and how hope can still be found after losing everything.
Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e
Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -
www.gavinsisters.co.uk
and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!
Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1
Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal
Topics -
0:00 Trailer & Intro
4:00 A rock bottom moment
7:30 Escape, dream dreaming & loneliness
10:20 Using fame to fix the hole in the soul
14:40 Fame wasn't enough tuned to drugs
17:30 Coming out of denial
18:40 Addiction progresses slowly
20:10 Being smashed on TV
21:40 Cocaine
24:30 Coming out as gay
28:10 I just wanted to drink normally!
30:40 Relapse
31:30 Consequences & chaos
33:10 Fame and shame
36:40 Wanting to be loved
39:50 Not wanting to stop drinking
41:30 Recovery sayings made me angry
43:10 Connection and spirituality
44:55 Alcoholic obsession
49:10 Staying sober
50:30 There's always hope
Follow Antony
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#Addiction #Recovery #Sobriety

What if the biggest breakthrough in recovery isn't stopping drinking, but changing who you believe you are?
In this next thought, I revisit a conversation with Nigel Jones and the mindset shift that finally set him free after years of failed attempts to quit alcohol. If you've ever promised yourself "this is the last time" only to relapse days later, this conversation could completely change the way you think about addiction, recovery and lasting change. This isn't about willpower. It's about identity.
I share the moment my thinking transformed from seeing myself as a victim of alcoholism to becoming the hero of my own story. Inspired by the Hero's Journey, Nigel explain why recovery begins long before you put down the drink, and how changing your identity can make sobriety feel possible instead of impossible.
We also explore the powerful link between intention, beliefs, values and behaviour, and why your destiny is shaped long before your actions become habits. Nigel explains why he chose to call himself a non-drinker from day one, rather than waiting to "earn" that identity after weeks or months of sobriety.
If you're struggling with alcohol addiction, alcohol use disorder (AUD), repeated relapses, or you're supporting someone who is, this episode offers a fresh perspective that could help you build long-term recovery.
Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE
YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/msrrwcn6
Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/y8kmhm62
Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3
About the “THOUGHT” series -
Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.
Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e
Support the podcast -
https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1
Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal
Follow Nigel
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/9kmby9am
Website -https://www.9kmby9am.com
Nigel's book - https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B0DLPH36R3/
Follow Oliver
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#Sobriety
#AlcoholFree
#SoberCurious

What if addiction isn't the problem, but the solution to pain you never knew you were carrying?
Anita Chellamah looked like she had everything. She appeared on Top of the Pops with Legs & Co, fronted and co-wrote The Cherry Bombz, supported Poison on tour in America, performed at the legendary CBGB in New York and on the Reading Festival Main Stage, was a member of Toto Coelo, who reached No. 6 in the UK charts and No. 4 in Australia, and became one of the first presenters on Sky Television and one of its first presenters of colour, hosting her own shows and performing Sky's 5th Anniversary song.
From the outside, it looked like success in every direction. Behind the scenes, however, she was quietly battling addiction. At just 19, while performing in the West End production of Bubbling Brown Sugar, she was prescribed amphetamines by a private doctor who was later struck off. By her late twenties, nights began with champagne, continued with cocaine and ended with Night Nurse. At 29, she stopped. She hasn't had a drink or a drug since.
Today, Anita is a trauma, addiction and DBT therapist with nearly four decades of sobriety. Qualified since 1998, she works in private practice, receiving referrals and working with organisations including the Priory, Steps Together and Castle Craig, specialising in addiction, trauma and Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT) with individuals, couples, families and groups. Anita explains why rock bottom rarely looks like the movies, why childhood trauma, shame and emotional pain so often drive addiction, and why recovery is about far more than simply putting down the drink or the drug.
We explore the hidden links between trauma, ADHD, binge drinking, cocaine addiction, alcoholism, codependency, self-worth, mental health, emotional regulation and long-term recovery. Anita shares how recovery transformed not only her relationship with alcohol and drugs, but also the way she understands herself, her emotions and the world around her.
The conversation also tackles some of the biggest debates in recovery today, including trauma therapy, 12-step fellowships, medication in recovery, antidepressants, ADHD medication, relapse prevention, addictive personality and why there is no single path that works for everyone. Nearly 40 years sober, Anita's humility, honesty and wisdom offer hope to anyone wondering whether lasting recovery from addiction and alcoholism is really possible.
Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e
Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -
www.gavinsisters.co.uk
and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!
Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1
Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal
Topics -
0:00 Trailer & Intro
2:55 A rock bottom moment
5:25 Binge drinking & progression
9:25 Childhood
12:45 ADHD and intrusive thoughts
14:30 Using performing arts as medicine
17:25 Access vs genetics
18:45 Dealing with denial
20:15 Recovery in 1988
25:35 Do all addicts have trauma?
30:35 We are all different
33:35 How therapy helped Anita
38:25 WE ARE NOT DOCTORS!
43:50 Still an addict after 38 years?
48:20 Humility & labels
51:35 Addictive personality & escape?
57:20 Boundaries
Follow Anita
https://www.instagram.com/anitachellamah
Follow Oliver
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Please subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment!
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#Addiction #Recovery #Sobriety