School of Rock Bottom

If you think you’re in control of your drinking, listen to this. Today I sit down with Leanne Bayliss, who went from cocaine and alcohol addiction to raising a disabled child alone while rebuilding her life sober. This is not a journey about one period of struggle. It’s about what happens when you hit bottom repeatedly, and the moment you realise it’s live or die.
Leanne speaks about the reality of addiction, from early coping mechanisms like bulimia to a life dominated by alcohol, cocaine and dependency on anything that could either elevate or sedate her mind. Diagnosed later in life with ADHD, she explains how substances became both escape and survival, creating a cycle that felt impossible to break. What emerges is not a neat narrative, but a deeply human one—messy, confronting and recognisable.
At the centre of this episode is a moment that changes everything. An attempt on her life that becomes the turning point. Not because everything suddenly gets better, but because it forces a decision. Stay or go. Live or die. From that point, recovery begins...not as a single choice, but as a daily commitment.
The conversation moves into territory many avoid. Motherhood in addiction. Raising a child through over 100 medical procedures while battling alcohol dependence. The guilt, the denial, the rationalisation, and the quiet moments no one sees. Leanne doesn’t sanitise any of it. She articulates something many people feel but rarely admit: the internal conflict between love for your child and the pull of addiction.
There’s also a clear, grounded discussion about sobriety itself. Labels like “alcoholic”, the role of trauma, and the uncomfortable truth that there is no single path to recovery. Both Oliver and Leanne challenge rigid thinking in the recovery space, making it clear that what matters is not how you get sober, but that you do.
They explore the neurological side too. ADHD, dopamine regulation, and why substances like alcohol and cocaine can feel like solutions rather than problems—until they aren’t. It’s a nuanced look at addiction that goes beyond willpower and into wiring, environment and lived experience.
They talk about risk. The idea that you might have another drink in you, but not another recovery.
This isn’t a journey wrapped in clichés or easy answers. It’s about responsibility, awareness, and doing the work - especially when no one is watching.
Leanne is the author of the upcoming books From Cocaine to Rice Cakes and Single Mom Syndrome, where she shares unfiltered truths about sobriety, motherhood, and choosing yourself. Leanne is 5 years clean and sober.
Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK, support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e
Sponsor -
www.gavinsisters.co.uk promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!
Support the podcast -
https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1
https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal
Topics -
0:00 Trailer & Intro
2:55 A rock bottom moment
4:25 Navigating multiple challenges
6:25 Addiction would have killed me
8:40 Using everything to feel better
12:40 Why alcohol stopped bulimia
15:15 Why Leanne wanted to use drugs and alcohol
16:45 Gaining insight along the bumpy road to recovery
18:55 Wanting to destroy rather than fix
20:15 Alcoholic at 16?
23:55 Use recovery labels to empower you!
26:40 Are you really powerless?
28:25 Be careful where you get your advice
30:55 Cocaine, alcohol & ADHD
35:10 Being a sober mum is better
39:40 We love taking hostages
41:10 Being triggered by morning drinking
43:10 Can I control my drinking now?
45:30 Helping those who are depressed
50:40 How Leanne got clean and sober
53:55 Why recovery is different for everyone
57:55 Why helping others helps you
59:55 From cocaine to rice cakes
Follow Leanne
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/soberlittlemotherred
Follow Oliver
https://linktr.ee/olivermason
WATCH on YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/32r6ppec
Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3
#AddictionRecovery
#AlcoholRecovery
#RecoveryPodcast

Addiction doesn’t care what the substance is.
In this next quick thought, I revisit a conversation with Gab Stone, as we strip back the illusion that gambling is somehow different to alcohol or drugs. What you’ll hear might challenge everything you think you know. The same patterns, the same brain chemistry, the same spiral. If you’ve ever told yourself “this isn’t as bad” or “I can control it,” this conversation will hit hard. Because underneath it all, addiction is addiction—and the cost is always the same.
We explore the striking parallels between gambling addiction and substance addiction, breaking down the myth that behavioural addictions are somehow less serious. From the early days of harmless fun to the slow creep into obsession, the conversation reveals how quickly things escalate—and how difficult it becomes to step back. The chase to break even, the illusion of control, and the belief that one more hit, one more bet, might fix everything.
There’s a raw honesty here about the mental gymnastics addicts perform. The idea that the problem isn’t the behaviour itself, but the losses. The belief that a “miracle” is just one more gamble away. And the terrifying moment when logic disappears, even in the face of clear consequences. Whether it’s sitting in a clinic or hearing a doctor’s warning, the pull to go back remains just as strong.
We also touch on the neuroscience—dopamine, anticipation, and why gambling can be even more addictive than substances. The unpredictability, the constant cycle of hope and loss, and how the brain becomes wired to chase both. It’s not just about winning. In many cases, it’s the losing that hooks you deeper.
Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE
YouTube - https://bit.ly/4fbqqZe
Spotify - https://bit.ly/41yG9OJ
Apple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQ
About the “THOUGHT” series -
Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.
For further support Gab recommends the following -
National Problem Gambling Clinic -
https://www.cnwl.nhs.uk/services/addictions/national-gambling-clinic
GamCare -
https://www.gamcare.org.uk
Oliver is an ambassadors for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e
Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1
Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal
Follow Gab
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/gabstone9
Follow Oliver
Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv
Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r
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X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds
#GamblingRecovery #BreakingTheStigma #AddictionAwareness

What if addiction isn’t really about drugs - but about the feeling that you never truly belonged anywhere? Today, I sit down with Kyle Hall, whose story moves from growing up in an alcoholic home to crystal meth addiction, psychosis, and eight years of relapse before finally finding a way out.
Kyle describes being a kid who didn’t fit in anywhere—not with the popular crowd, not even with the “weird kids.” That quiet disconnection, and the inability to express who he really was, became the foundation for everything that followed.
What starts as food, pornography, and alcohol slowly escalates into something far darker, as he searches for identity, confidence, and escape in all the wrong places.
We break down the progression most people never see. How drinking turns into drugs. How curiosity becomes dependency. And how, step by step, he ends up in a world of chemsex, isolation, and eventually injecting crystal meth—not as one reckless decision, but as a series of small ones that compound over time.
From there, things unravel fast. Days without sleep. Paranoia. Hallucinations. A complete break from reality where he believes people are coming to kill him. And even then, the instinct is still the same—to drink, to use, to escape.
But even at rock bottom, there are moments that cut through.
One of them happens in an Uber, when a driver says something he never forgets: “You never finish alcohol. Alcohol finishes you.”
Kyle speaks openly about eight years of trying to get sober and failing, and what finally changed when it stuck. Not a new method. Not a new environment. But a moment of complete surrender—and a decision to actually live the recovery he’d been around for years.
We also explore the shift into spirituality. From rejecting faith completely to finding Jesus that gave him forgiveness, direction, and a way to rebuild.
By the end, this isn’t a clean redemption story. It’s something more honest. A life rebuilt from chaos—now channelled into The Spiritual Pharmacy & Late Night Sober Cafe, sober community spaces designed to give people what he never had: connection, purpose, and somewhere to belong.
Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e
Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -
www.gavinsisters.co.uk
and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!
Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1
Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal
Topics -
0:00 Trailer & Intro
3:00 A rock bottom moment that lasted months
6:45 A drug induced psychosis
16:45 Using food and cigarettes before drugs
20:20 Porn obsession
22:30 Falling in love with alcohol
24:45 Struggling with sexuality
27:00 From alcohol to injecting crystal meth
32:20 Breaking the relapse cycle
36:45 Doing The 12 Steps
39:15 Finding a spiritual solution?
42:15 Kyle's sober events & spaces
Follow Kyle
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/kylehallartist
https://www.instagram.com/spiritualpharma
Buy tickets
https://www.tickettailor.com/events/theenergyxchangecic
Follow Oliver
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Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r
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X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds
Please subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment!
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#AddictionRecovery
#RockBottom
#SobrietyJourney

Addiction is a liar. It convinces you that a drink or a drug will make you feel better — but that promise is one of the most dangerous lies in recovery.
In this week’s quick thought, Oliver Mason explores why “feeling better now” is addiction’s most powerful trick, how relapse works, and why short-term relief always comes at a long-term cost.
It’s a bit like a toxic ex who comes back promising things will be different — offering comfort, care, even hope — only for the cycle of harm to return later, often worse than before. Like someone who broke your nose, then has the audacity to say, “I’ll make you feel better.”
Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODE
Spotify - https://bit.ly/3RmMvu8
YouTube - https://bit.ly/3NuVwzU
Apple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQ
About the “THOUGHT” series -
Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons.
Oliver is an ambassadors for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e
Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!
https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1
Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal
Follow Oliver
Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjv
Facebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59r
TikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9
LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7
Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeah
X - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds
#AddictionRecovery
#Sobriety
#MentalHealth

The rock bottom myth can be dangerous because it sells the idea that everyone has to to wait for one dramatic, Hollywood moment. But what if it’s actually a slow burn… gradually losing yourself without even realising? Today I sit down with Emily Horwood to look at the reality of alcohol addiction, sobriety, relapse, and recovery. From blackouts as a parent, mixing alcohol and coke, to building a thriving sober community, this is a conversation about what it really takes to change your life.
Emily is a former teacher, single mum, and psychology student who is now three years sober and helping others find connection beyond alcohol. Emily opens up about the slow burn of addiction, describing her rock bottom not as one explosive moment but as years spent “crawling along the bottom,” culminating in a terrifying blackout where she couldn’t remember putting her children to bed. It’s a stark reminder that suffering doesn’t always look dramatic from the outside.
We explore the dangerous myths around what an “alcoholic” looks like, and why so many people delay getting help because their lives appear functional. Emily shares how societal drinking culture, particularly in her twenties, normalised behaviours that would later become deeply destructive, and how an abusive relationship compounded her loss of identity and self-worth.
The conversation moves into recovery, beginning with one message that changed everything. Emily reflects on reaching out for help, attending her first meeting, and why desperation became the turning point. From 12-step programmes to online communities, sober curiosity, and building her own support networks, this episode highlights that there is no single path to recovery, only the one that works for you.
They also speak candidly about relapse, the “yet” concept, and how quickly addiction can take hold again. Emily’s description of returning to drinking after 18 months sober is a sobering insight into the reality of addiction, and why ongoing connection and self-awareness are essential.
Beyond sobriety, this episode is about growth. Emily shares how recovery has reshaped her identity, challenging long-held beliefs about who she was and uncovering a deeper sense of self. They discuss post-traumatic growth, the power of connection, and why building a meaningful life is about more than just removing alcohol.
Emily also talks about creating Sober Walkers, a growing community built on connection and accountability, and her new project, The Connection Couch, which brings people together for real, honest conversations about recovery and growth in an increasingly disconnected world.
If you’ve ever thought your drinking “isn’t bad enough,” this episode is a reminder that you don’t need to wait for things to fall apart. Change is possible, and it starts with being curious enough to ask the question.
Support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e
https://womensaid.org.uk
https://refuge.org.uk
Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -
www.gavinsisters.co.uk
use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!
Topics -
0:00 Trailer & Intro
3:15 A rock bottom moment
5:15 My rock bottom wasn't dramatic
9:20 Drink, coke, fun and chaos
12:20 An abusive relationship drives addiction
15:15 What are the 'YETS' in recovery?
19:30 What Emily tried first to get sober
22:20 What lies did addiction tell you?
25:45 Only functioning on the outside
27:45 How many meetings should you try?
30:40 AA IS NOT THE ONLY WAY!
35:15 Finding a sponsor and being of service
37:30 I couldn't accept I am alcoholic & relapse
41:40 Quick fire questions!
49:45 Sober Walkers & The Connection Couch
54:30 Is my drinking bad enough yet!?
Follow Emily
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/stepping_on_the_sober_train
https://www.instagram.com/theconnectioncouch
Follow Oliver
https://linktr.ee/olivermason
Watch or listen here -
YouTube - https://youtu.be/QGfL-OZDV5Q
Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3
#AddictionRecovery
#Sobriety
#Sober