Ep. 11 | Bryan Reeves: From Shutdown to Connected: The Shifts That Help Men Love Better
In this episode of ENHEARTENED, I’m joined by Bryan Reeves—relationship coach, author of Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her), and a powerful voice in the conversation around conscious masculinity.
Together, we explore the often-invisible journey of modern men navigating relationships, emotional connection, and the reclamation of the inner Lover archetype. This conversation is for any man who has ever felt emotionally shut down in love, and for the women who want to understand what’s really going on behind the wall.
We dive into:
What keeps men emotionally disconnected—and how to break the pattern The shifts that help men move from performance to presence Why safety (not strategy) is the missing ingredient in love How shutdown masculinity shows up in relationships Why many men mistake intimacy for a loss of freedom The difference between a warrior and a conqueror How to offer AND receive emotional safety in partnership What it looks like to repair after ruptures—and why most men never learned how The power of trustable brotherhood and how to find it And why relationships are a mirror for masculine expansion—not a threat to it
This is not about fixing men. It’s about freeing them. And helping them remember that they are worthy of connection without abandoning themselves.
FIND OUT ABOUT BRYAN’S WORK
📚 Grab Bryan’s book: Choose Her Every Day (Or Leave Her)
💻 Explore Bryan’s programs & men’s work: https://www.bryanreeves.com/
📲 Follow Bryan on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/bryanreevesinsight/
🎧 LISTEN TO ENHEARTENED ON:
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6sxXNMfsN9FnK34glRnkFC Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enheartened-with-xavier-dagba/id1798866363
JOIN MY WORLD (Xavier Dagba):
The Embodied Light Project Membership: https://www.xavierdagba.com/elp-unleashed Sign up for my Newsletter: https://newsletter.xavierdagba.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/xavier.dagba More Offerings & Events: https://www.xavierdagba.com
👉 If this episode resonates with you, leave a review and share it with a brother, partner, or loved one. Your support helps this message reach those who need it most.
Chapters 00:00 Intro – From warrior to lover: the new masculine path 02:45 Bryan’s military past & emotional shutdown 08:00 The moment he knew something had to change 10:30 How to listen when your life feels “off” 13:45 Why most men never learned how to connect 16:40 The root of male disconnection & resignation 20:20 Your daily energy IS your legacy 23:00 Feedback: how men can start being truly seen 26:45 Archetypes: warrior, lover, and the lost king 30:15 Shadow brotherhood vs. trustable brotherhood 33:50 What makes a good men’s group? 36:00 Warrior vs. conqueror energy in men 40:00 The adolescent vs. integrated man 43:20 Repair work: the 4 steps every man must learn 47:15 The cost of pride & emotional defensiveness 50:45 Feeling unseen in love? Start here 54:00 Why “radical honesty” can destroy relationships 59:30 Creating emotional safety—for yourself and her 1:03:30 The danger of performative healing in men 1:06:15 Why mature love takes years to build 1:10:00 The responsibility of real intimacy 1:14:25 Bryan’s “scar of gold” in love & heartbreak 1:17:40 What men & women must understand about each other 1:20:20 Final reflections + how to work with Bryan
#BryanReeves #MasculineHealing #MenAndLove #ModernRelationships #IntegratedMan #EmotionalConnection #WarriorToLover #ShadowWork #MasculineArchetypes #RelationshipRepair #EmotionalSafety #MenDoingTheWork #BryanReevesPodcast #ENHEARTENED #XavierDagba #MenInLove #MenAndIntimacy #HealthyMasculinity #VulnerabilityIsPower #TrustableBrotherhood #HealingThroughConnection
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Ep. 10 | Xavier Dagba: You’re Not Lost—You’re Awakening Making Sense of Spiritual Depression
In this solo episode of ENHEARTENED with Xavier Dagba, we dive deep into the misunderstood territory of spiritual depression—a soul-initiated pause that invites deep realignment, not pathology.
You’ll learn:
What spiritual depression actually is—and how it differs from emotional burnout or clinical depression
The hidden wisdom of the soul when everything goes quiet
How to stop resisting the void and begin listening to what’s gestating
The role of masculine and feminine energetics in navigating the unknown
Why unfinished business must be cleared before new vision can emerge
How to recognize when you’re ready to re-engage with life from deeper truth
This episode is for anyone walking through a fog they can’t quite explain, feeling disconnected from old identities but not yet anchored in the new. You’re not broken. You’re in transition. And there is medicine in the undoing.
💎 Join the free workshop: The Alchemy of Resistance Learn how to meet your inner resistance with depth, clarity, and transformation. https://www.xavierdagba.com/resistance-workshop
Subscribe to my newsletter: https://newsletter.xavierdagba.com/
Join the Embodied Light Project: https://www.xavierdagba.com/elp-unleashed
Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6sxXNMfsN9FnK34glRnkFC
Or on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enheartened-with-xavier-dagba/id1798866363
More about my work: https://www.xavierdagba.com
Chapters / Timestamps: 00:00 – The way through spiritual depression isn’t force—it’s surrender 00:58 – What spiritual depression is (and what it’s not) 02:00 – A soul-initiated pause, not clinical pathology 03:00 – The U-turn metaphor: when your soul redirects you 04:45 – Why it’s not laziness—it’s energetic realignment 06:15 – Midlife crisis as a mainstream version of spiritual depression 07:45 – What it feels like when your soul goes quiet 09:10 – The drought of meaning, creativity, and belonging 10:50 – My personal story: the breakdown of 2018 13:20 – Clearing unfinished business to prepare for emergence 15:00 – When your life no longer fits your soul 16:20 – Misunderstandings in both clinical and spiritual spaces 17:50 – The feminine energetics of gestation, mystery, and death 19:10 – The masculine role: courage to walk into the unknown 21:00 – What part of me is rushing this discomfort? 22:00 – 5 powerful prompts for working with spiritual depression 24:40 – Signs you are beginning to emerge 26:20 – Creating from soul, not performance 27:40 – The sculptor metaphor: the life template is already inside you 29:00 – Final message: you’re not broken—you’re becoming
#SpiritualDepression #SoulAwakening #DarkNightOfTheSoul #ShadowIntegration #PersonalTransformation #CreativeFog #InnerAlchemy #XavierDagba #EnheartenedPodcast
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Ep. 9 | Xavier Dagba: Shadow Safety vs Soul Safety: How to Build True Inner Safety Without Abandoning Yourself
In a world that often feels unsafe, uncertain, and chaotic, how do you cultivate true inner safety without abandoning your essence?
In this solo episode of ENHEARTENED, I guide you through a deep exploration of shadow safety vs. soul safety two radically different ways we relate to our internal world when faced with external threat or emotional pain.
You’ll learn:
What shadow safety is and why it feels like safety but costs you wholeness
Why abandoning yourself has become your default coping strategy (and how to stop)
The truth about nervous system capacity, vulnerability, and self-protection
How to start building sovereign safety: the kind that doesn’t shut down your heart
How to stay rooted in presence, even when fear, shame, or grief arise
This is a conversation for anyone seeking embodied power, emotional resilience, and the courage to live open-hearted in a polarized world.
🎧 Listen until the end for a step-by-step blueprint to begin cultivating soul safety in your daily life.
—
🎧 LISTEN TO ENHEARTENED ON:Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6sxXNMfsN9FnK34glRnkFCApple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enheartened-with-xavier-dagba/id1798866363
—
JOIN MY WORLD (Xavier Dagba):
Embodied Light Project Membership: https://www.xavierdagba.com/elp-unleashedSign up for my Newsletter: https://newsletter.xavierdagba.com/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/xavier.dagbaMore Offerings & Events: https://www.xavierdagba.com
👉 If this episode resonates with you, please leave a review and share it with someone who’s been dimming their light. Your support helps this movement grow.
—
Chapters:
00:00 – Intro: Why safety needs to be redefined
01:40 – Shadow safety: The illusion of protection
05:50 – The fragmentation trade-off and dissociation
09:15 – The myth of control and nervous system reactivity
12:40 – Soul safety: Safety rooted in presence, not protection
17:30 – Real life examples: shadow vs. soul safety in action
23:10 – How to build sovereign safety (step-by-step)
30:45 – Staying with emotion without adding meaning
33:20 – Final questions for reflection + integration
34:30 – Outro + how to stay connected
#ShadowWork #SoulSafety #InnerSafety #SelfAbandonment #TraumaHealing #NervousSystem #SovereignSelf #EmotionalResilience #EnheartenedPodcast #XavierDagba
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Ep. 8 | Xavier Dagba: How to make shining your light safer than hiding it
Join my upcoming 6-week immersion: SEEN Dissolve the hidden forces that dim your light & mute your voice. Become unapologetically expressed. https://www.xavierdagba.com/seen2
ABOUT THIS EPISODE:
In this solo episode of ENHEARTENED, I speak directly to the hearts of those who are craving to be seen, but still find safety in hiding.
We explore why shining can feel terrifying, why your nervous system may still trust your shadow more than your light, and how true visibility begins with inner reconciliation.
This episode is an offering for visionaries, creatives, coaches, and quiet revolutionaries who long to share their voice, their truth, and their light… but feel blocked by shame, fear, or fragmentation.
It is also for those who don't want a stage but just long to bring more of their truth in their lives.
You’ll be guided through:
The 5 core fears that keep us hidden
Why visibility triggers shadow material
The difference between expression and performance
What visibility hangovers reveal about your inner child
Why shame is the root of fragmentation
How to rewire safety to include your brightness
Practical prompts to reclaim your voice
The truth about readiness: it’s not about perfection—it’s about devotion
We end this journey with a powerful invitation: the path to full expression is not about being louder or more polished—it’s about becoming congruent with your truth.
If you’re ready to stop abandoning yourself and start trusting your light, SEEN is your rite of passage. Join here: www.xavierdagba.com/seen2
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🎧 LISTEN TO ENHEARTENED ON: Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6sxXNMfsN9FnK34glRnkFC Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enheartened-with-xavier-dagba/id1798866363
—
JOIN MY WORLD (Xavier Dagba):
Embodied Light Project Membership: https://www.xavierdagba.com/elp-unleashed Sign up for my Newsletter: https://newsletter.xavierdagba.com/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/xavier.dagba More Offerings & Events: https://www.xavierdagba.com
👉 If this episode resonates with you, please leave a review and share it with someone who’s been dimming their light. Your support helps this movement grow.
—
Chapters
00:00 Intro – Do you trust your shadow more than your light? 01:15 The paradox of visibility and the shadow 03:45 Why we fear being seen—even when we crave it 05:00 Childhood roots of the visibility wound 06:15 Vulnerability hangovers & somatic memory 08:00 Expression beyond social media: living "I am here" 10:00 The 5 fears that keep you hidden (humiliation, alienation, loss, persecution, death) 13:00 The hidden cost of staying hidden: self-abandonment 15:00 A personal story of shame & silencing creativity 19:00 How repression turns into projection 21:00 Signs you're still dimming your light 23:00 Your body keeps the score: somatic recalibration for visibility 25:00 Expression vs. performance: where are you speaking from? 27:00 Daily prompts to reclaim your voice 28:00 When I chose visibility over fear: my 2018 turning point 30:00 Letting go of the shadow career 32:00 The holy friction of self-revelation 34:00 Readiness is devotion—not perfection 36:00 What if your light could be your safest place? 38:00 The holy defiance that liberates you 40:00 Seen is not a performance—it's becoming 42:00 Undoing inherited hiding & building somatic safety 43:30 What to do if you're scared but called
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#VisibilityWounds #ShadowWork #AuthenticExpression #ENHEARTENED #SelfLiberation #SomaticHealing #NervousSystemHealth #HealingShame #PersonalPower #StopHiding #SeenJourney #XavierDagba #EmbodyYourLight #InnerChildHealing #UnleashYourVoice #CreativeExpression #VisibilityHealing #PodcastForCreators #SpiritualPodcast #DevotionNotPerfection #BecomingVisible
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Ep. 7 | Amie McNee: The Artist's Revival, Healing through art & Undoing Visibility Wounds
In this episode of ENHEARTENED, I’m joined by the fiercely honest and wildly devoted Amie McNee—author of We Need Your Art: Stop Fcking Around and Make Something*. Together, we explore the sacred intersection of creativity, soul, and liberation in a world that often dismisses or commodifies the artist's heart.
This conversation is a balm for artists, creators, and visionaries who have felt unseen, silenced, or stuck in shame around sharing their gifts. Whether you’re sitting on masterpieces the world hasn’t seen or navigating the terror of being truly witnessed—this is for you.
We dive deep into:
The ancestral repression of artistry and reclaiming your creative inheritance
Why art literally heals and what happens when you repress your soul’s voice
Building nervous system safety to withstand the exposure of being seen
Why creative block is perfectionism in disguise
The difference between protecting your art and playing small
Why every artist must go through the void of being unseen
How to coronate yourself as the artist you already are
Amie’s spicy truths about self-censorship, Instagram, and artists refusing to market themselves
And a fierce reminder: We need you. And we need your art. Now more than ever.
FIND OUT ABOUT AMIE'S WORK
Grab Amie’s book: We Need Your Arthttps://www.amiemcnee.com/pre-order-we-need-your-art-book-amie-mcnee
Follow Amie on Instagram: https://instagram.com/inspiredtowrite
Subscribe to Amie’s Substack: https://amiemcnee.substack.com
🎧 LISTEN TO ENHEARTENED ON:
Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/6sxXNMfsN9FnK34glRnkFC
Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/enheartened-with-xavier-dagba/id1798866363
JOIN MY WORLD (Xavier Dagba):
Joy upcoming 6 week immersion: SEEN - Dissolve the hidden forces that dim your light & mute your voice - Become unapologetically expressed. https://www.xavierdagba.com/seen2
The Embodied Light Project Membership: https://www.xavierdagba.com/elp-unleashed
Sign up for my Newsletter: https://newsletter.xavierdagba.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/xavier.dagba
More Offerings & Events: https://www.xavierdagba.com
👉 If this episode resonates with you, leave a review and share it with someone who needs to hear this message. Your support helps this movement grow.
Chapters 00:00 Intro – The cost of repressing your creativity 02:45 Art as rebellion: waking up in a world not made for artists 08:00 The ancestral wound of severing artistry 13:00 Facing shame, rejection & fear when choosing the creative path 16:45 The paradox of delusional vision & grounded devotion 22:00 Why art is literal medicine 27:45 Healing through being seen—and how to do it safely 32:00 Nervous system regulation & the path of the artist 34:00 The daily coronation of your inner artist 41:00 Creative companionship, witnessing & community 47:00 Breaking the myth of the lone artist 50:00 Creative block vs. perfectionism 54:00 Fuck around & find out: the true creative process 58:00 AI, algorithms & why human art is needed more than ever 1:04:00 The controversial truth about commodifying your art 1:11:00 Learning to love your ambition 1:13:00 Final message to every artist who’s been hiding
#AmieMcNee #WeNeedYourArt #CreativeLiberation #ShadowWork #ArtHeals #AuthenticExpression #ENHEARTENED #VisibilityWounds #SelfCensorship #NervousSystemHealing #XavierDagba #HealingThroughCreativity #UnleashYourLight #ArtistsOnYouTube #CreativeBlock #Perfectionism #SomaticHealing #PodcastForArtists #BookLaunch
ENHEARTENED with Xavier Dagba is a podcast for those who are ready to break free from self-imposed limitations and step into their full power. Through deep, heart-centered conversations and transformative insights, we explore shadow integration, healing, and the art of living unapologetically as your whole self. Whether you're navigating a personal awakening or seeking to embody your brightest potential, this space will inspire you to dissolve fragmentation, embrace your radiance, and lead with courage.