Exiled & Rising: Trauma Recovery & Somatic Healing

• The Pandemic of Resignation Syndrome: Not Wanting To Live. Not Wanting To Die. Explained By War Expert Therapist

  In this pivotal episode, Ana Mael — trauma therapist, nervous-system specialist, and survivor of the Balkan wars — takes listeners into one of the most misunderstood trauma states: Resignation Syndrome. Ana Mael names what few have dared to: Resignation Syndrome — the global epidemic of nervous-system collapse that hides behind resilience culture.   _________________________________________   Resources Mentioned Somatic Trauma Recovery Center: https://www.somatictraumarecoverycenter.com Upcoming Course: Understanding Resignation Syndrome & Somatic Recovery:   https://exiledandrising.mykajabi.com/offers/SSApP35o     ❤️  Please donate  This podcast is independently run. No production teams. Fancy edits. Only a somatic therapy education, truth & advocacy for humane life https://donate.stripe.com/3cI9AS5Xfb9W6O832VfEk00 ANA TEACHINGS & PROGRAMS https://exiledandrising.mykajabi.com/store Get the Book: The Trauma We Don't Talk About https://amzn.to/41SjKKL   _____________________________________________________  Resignation is not giving up — it’s the body’s protest against a world without safety. This is not burnout, depression, or lack of motivation. It is a biological collapse of the nervous system that occurs when a person has lived too long in survival, uncertainty, or invisibility. It is the body’s last and most intelligent act of self-protection — a deep, metabolic shutdown designed to preserve life until safety, belonging, and justice return. From children displaced by war to adults who keep functioning while feeling nothing, Ana exposes how resignation has become a global epidemic of emotional numbness. She explains how chronic unsafety — in families, workplaces, economies, and nations — teaches the body to withdraw in order to survive. Through somatic science, lived experience, and moral analysis, Ana reveals why resignation is not a failure of resilience, but a demand for accountability, safety, and dignity. This episode bridges clinical understanding, moral philosophy, and human-rights discourse — redefining healing not as individual endurance, but as collective repair. “Resignation is the body’s last intelligent act — a refusal to spend life energy in a world that refuses to be safe.” — Ana Mael Through personal narrative, clinical insight, and moral analysis, Ana explores: How the body transitions from fight/flight → freeze → shutdown. Why resignation is not mental weakness but a physiological protest against chronic unsafety. How this state was first observed in displaced refugee children — and how it quietly lives on in adults who function but feel emotionally absent. The moral and human-rights dimensions of trauma: why safety and accountability are prerequisites for healing. The somatic path to recovery: micro-safety, relational stability, gentle breath and movement... Chapters (00:00:00) - Resignation Syndrome(00:14:15) - Resignation Syndrome: How to Rest Your Body(00:21:58) - Somatic Trauma Recovery: Resignation Syndrome(00:28:10) - A Little Something for Today

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• Pleasure Is Shame: How Trauma Teaches You to Fear Joy

  Ana teaches that shame around pleasure is not morality — it’s trauma. Reclaiming joy is not betrayal of your past but devotion to your life. Ana Mael’s “Pleasure Is Shame” — one of her most layered and psychologically rich pieces, combining trauma theory, embodiment, and intergenerational survival dynamics.   ANA TEACHINGS & PROGRAMS https://exiledandrising.mykajabi.com/store   Get the Book: The Trauma We Don't Talk About https://amzn.to/41SjKKL   ❤️  Please donate  This podcast is independently run. No production teams. Fancy edits. Only a somatic education, truth & storytelling.     https://donate.stripe.com/3cI9AS5Xfb9W6O832VfEk00 _____________________________________ Core Teaching Pleasure and shame are trauma-linked. Ana reframes pleasure not as indulgence or luxury, but as an innate human state — one that trauma disrupts. Survivors often associate pleasure with danger, humiliation, or betrayal because it was used against them or forbidden by those in power. Abuse severs the link between aliveness and safety. When abusers punish victims for joy, sensuality, or satisfaction, the nervous system learns: pleasure = threat. What should be restorative becomes dysregulating. Guilt replaces joy. Once shame takes root, guilt follows — not just as an emotion, but as a physiological residue. The survivor internalizes the abuser’s judgment, carrying it like “molasses” over the body, believing they can never be clean, good, or worthy again. Somatic and Psychological Lens Pleasure as a body-based function. Pleasure is not abstract; it’s neurochemical (dopamine, oxytocin, endorphins). When trauma teaches the body that pleasure is unsafe, these pathways constrict. The body literally stops producing or tolerating sensations of delight. The “molasses” metaphor: Ana’s description — “as thick as molasses, the guilt and shame drips over the body” — translates an emotional imprint into somatic texture. It communicates how shame feels heavy, sticky, and inescapable. Cycle of pleasure–punishment. Many survivors oscillate between denial and overindulgence: Seek pleasure → feel guilt → self-punish → suppress desire → seek again. This repetition mirrors trauma’s pattern: relief, shame, punishment, freeze. Nervous system dysregulation. The body of a survivor can’t hold high-arousal states (joy, excitement, sensuality) without tipping into anxiety or collapse. Ana implies that capacity for pleasure must be rebuilt slowly — in titrated doses of safety. Intergenerational & Cultural Trauma Survival guilt and inherited deprivation. She links personal trauma to collective trauma: oppressed, displaced, or war-torn communities may view pleasure as betrayal. “If I’m happy while my people suffer, I’m disloyal.” This is survival guilt disguised as morality. Loyalty to deprivation. The phrase “loyalty to deprivation” is brillia...

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• PTSD and the Conflict Inside: The Fight Between Rest and Survival

  A survivor’s nervous system toggles between collapse and compulsion; healing begins by honoring both protectors and learning to pause in micro-doses.   _______________________ Get the Book: The Trauma We Don't Talk About https://amzn.to/41SjKKL ❤️  Please donate . This podcast is independently run. No production teams. Fancy edits. Only a somatic therpay, truth & storytelling.   https://donate.stripe.com/3cI9AS5Xfb9W6O832VfEk00       ANA TEACHINGS & PROGRAMS https://exiledandrising.mykajabi.com/store Core teaching Two-part tug-of-war: Ana names an inner split many trauma survivors feel: a part that wants to shut down and hide (resignation/exhaustion), and a part that demands relentless doing (pressure/perfection, “get the next thing done and do it right”). This maps to a nervous system oscillation between collapse and overdrive. Ancestral pressure, present body: The “screaming part” carries inherited survival instructions—keep moving or you’ll be overwhelmed. It’s an adaptive strategy passed through family history and lived experience, not a character flaw. Fear of pausing: Stillness threatens to surface unprocessed pain. The body anticipates that if I stop, the memories will catch me, so it pushes activity as a protective shield. Somatic & nervous system lens Shutdown part (dorsal vagal / collapse): Fatigue, numbness, retreat, invisibility. Function: reduce exposure and conserve energy when safety feels out of reach. Screaming/doing part (sympathetic / fight–flight): Urgency, perfectionism, productivity compulsion. Function: outrun the pain; if I keep moving, I won’t feel it. Oscillation as the symptom: Many survivors pendulate between these poles, rarely landing in ventral vagal states (connection, rest, play). The conflict is protective but exhausting. Parts work (IFS-informed view) Manager part: the “screaming” achiever managing risk via control, speed, and standards. Exile(s): the pain and memories that feel too much to contact directly. Firefighter/shutdown: the resigning, hiding part that douses overwhelm via withdrawal. Self/compassionate witness: the healing stance Ana invites—curious, nonjudgmental, capable of contacting each part without fusing with it. Intergenerational frame Inherited alarms: “As if all my ancestors are behind me” evokes intergenerational vigilance: families who survived war, displacement, or scarcity often transmit implicit rules—don’t stop, don’t feel, keep moving. Respect the purpose: These rules kept people alive. Healing means honoring their intent while updating them for present conditions. Why pausing is hard (and necessary) Threat of memory: Pausing reduces the noise that kept pain at bay; the system... Chapters (00:00:00) - Conflict

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• How to Explain to Others What You Need to Heal from Trauma

    Ana’s new Exiled & Rising episode — one of her most intimate and practical teachings on relational healing. Ana teaches that true healing begins when others stop denying your reality and simply stay — seeing, listening, and acknowledging without defense or blame. Core Teaching Healing requires acknowledgment, not fixing. Ana distills trauma-informed relational wisdom into one simple truth: healing happens when someone sees, hears, and acknowledges your pain without judgment, denial, or defense. The antidote to denial is witnessing. Trauma isolates. Its wound is not only what happened, but that no one witnessed or believed it. The act of being seen — truly seen — restores relational safety and begins regulation. Language as reclamation. By providing listeners with specific words to share — “Don’t judge me. Don’t defend yourself. See me.” — Ana gives trauma survivors a script for self-advocacy. It’s not therapy jargon; it’s everyday language that builds boundaries and connection at once. Somatic and Relational Lens Healing through co-regulation. The piece emphasizes that trauma cannot be healed in isolation. Healing requires relational attunement — someone whose nervous system stays calm and present as yours expresses pain. Gaze as safety cue. “Look at my eyes. See me when I share my experience.” Eye contact here is not performative; it’s a neurobiological bridge that signals safety to the vagus nerve and supports emotional regulation. Boundaries through language. Each line — “Don’t blame me. Don’t defend yourself. Don’t leave.” — reestablishes the ruptured boundaries that trauma once erased. These are phrases that protect the speaker’s truth while keeping connection possible. Validation as repair. The healing moment comes when someone can say, “I see you. I believe this happened to you.” That acknowledgment begins to repair what trauma destroyed — trust in the self and in others. Psychological and Cultural Layers Countering the “minimizing” culture. “Don’t use humor to minimize it” critiques how many families and workplaces handle pain — with jokes, redirection, or avoidance. Ana reframes this as an act of denial that perpetuates harm. Rejecting self-blame. Both sides of the relational exchange are asked to drop blame: “Don’t blame me. Don’t blame yourself.” This removes the moral transaction from the exchange and replaces it with empathy. Healing through mutual presence. The structure of Ana’s teaching — “Don’t… Don’t… See me…” — moves from defense (what not to do) to connection (what to do). It’s a rhythm that mirrors a therapy session: regulating boundaries first, then opening to intimacy. Somatic Significance Safety through voice and rhythm. The steady repetition is itself a regulation tool. Each instruction is short, predictable, and calm — an auditory anchor for the nervous system. Owning embodied truth. “This is my story, my pain, my hurt.” Naming the experience in the body’s own words (“my hurt”) integrates cognition and sensation — a somatic statement of ownership. What Ana is Teaching Healing happens in relationship, not in isolation. We need to be <... Chapters (00:00:00) - What Do I Need For Healing?

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• Growing Up Feeling Like a Burden: Hidden Trauma of Being ‘Too Much'

  The burden wound begins in childhood. Being treated as “too much” or “a burden” by parents creates a deep, embodied wound. The imprint becomes identity. This is not just a passing experience but attaches to the child’s developing sense of self, carried into adulthood. The body remembers. Shame and burden are felt in the soma, even when never spoken aloud. The wound repeats. It shapes adult relationships: apologizing for existing, scanning for rejection, pushing away kindness. __________________________  Book: The Trauma We Don't Talk About https://amzn.to/41SjKKL   Want to go deeper? Check the link below for Ana’s somatic course on healing intimacy and learning to safely open, receive, and trust again. https://exiledandrising.mykajabi.com/offers/zchSQWb5 Please donate and support podcast continuation:   https://donate.stripe.com/3cI9AS5Xfb9W6O832VfEk00   __________________________________ Key Takeaways Feeling like a burden is a wound given to you, not an inherent truth. The wound attaches to identity early and can shadow every stage of life. It shapes behaviors: apologizing, shrinking, refusing kindness, sabotaging intimacy. Families pass down the burden story, often unconsciously, and culture amplifies it. Healing requires: Naming the wound Recognizing it is not yours Practicing receiving kindness without apology Reclaiming space and belonging Healing is both personal liberation and political resistance. Distilled Lessons / Therapeutic Teachings From Self-Blame to Given Burden: Move from “I am the burden” → “This burden was given to me.” Somatic Awareness: Notice how the wound lives in the body (tension, shrinking, hypervigilance). Relational Practice: Accept kindness, stop compulsive apologizing, risk showing joy/sadness without shame. Breaking Cycles: By healing, you stop passing the wound forward to partners, children, colleagues. Resistance Practice: Claiming space and worth challenges both family conditioning and systemic oppression. Main Quotes by Ana Mael to share & tag “That kind of message doesn’t just hurt in the moment. It takes root deep inside, in our soma.” “This isn’t weakness. This is the legacy of a burden you never signed up for.” “Believing you’re a burden to your parents is a deeply felt visceral rejection. It is tremendously painful.” “If your perception tells you that you are a burden, it catapults you into rejection, isolation, unworthiness, and shame.” “Feeling like a burden made you believe you were undeserving of love and kindness.” “The truth is: you are deserving of goodness. You deserve kindness, belonging, unconditional love, and the space to expand.” “Healing this wound is not just therapy or self-work. It is also a political act of resistance.” “You were never meant to carry that burden. You were meant to rise.” About Ana Mael: Ana Mael is a genocide survivor, somatic therapist, and author of The Trauma We Don’t Talk About. She is the founder of the Somatic Trauma Recovery Center and has dedicated her career to helping survivors reclaim their identity, dignity, and self-trust. With decades of lived experience, Ana offers a unique, unapologetic approach to healing that combines trauma justice, somatic therapy, and spiritual integrity. She advocates for vulnerability, accountability, and collective healing to dismantle the systems that perpetuate oppression and harm. Chapters (00:00:00) - The belief that you yourself are a burden(00:05:52) - The Trauma of Feeling Like A Burden(00:10:02) - How to Stop Feeling Like a Burden as an Adult(00:20:42) - A burden on the system

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