From Borderline to Beautiful: Hope and Help for BPD with Rose Skeeters, MA, LPC, PN2

In this episode, we look at the quiet ways people with BPD try to protect themselves from abandonment, emotional overwhelm, and the fear of losing control — and how those same strategies often keep the fear locked in place.
You’ll hear a clear breakdown of safety behaviors, why they feel necessary in the moment, and how they prevent the brain from learning that the catastrophe is either less likely or more survivable than it feels. We also walk through imaginal exposure and response prevention as a practical way to start interrupting the cycle.
This is a straightforward, skills-focused episode for anyone who recognizes the urge to check, test, shut down, or escape when the emotion gets big.
In this episode we cover:
What safety behaviors actually are in BPD
The four main types (avoidance, escape, BPD-specific strategies, and subtle cognitive ones)
Real examples of how these behaviors show up in relationships and with intense emotion
Why short-term relief keeps the long-term fear alive
How imaginal exposure works and the key rules that make it effective
Building a simple hierarchy of feared situations and emotions
What tends to shift when you practice staying with the feeling without the usual exits

Fall Group – Starting September 30I’m running a small fall group beginning September 30. Space is limited on purpose so participants can actually practice these skills with support and feedback.
If you’ve been wanting structured work around emotion regulation, abandonment fear, and breaking the safety-behavior cycle, this group is designed for that.
Individual session openings are also available if you prefer one-on-one work.
Details: thriveonlinecounseling.com
Book a session with Rose or Jay: ⁠⁠thriveonlinecounseling.com⁠⁠
Call/Text: 844-984-7483 (844-9-THRIVE)
Fall group forming, register today!
Podcast Website: thriveonlinecounseling.com
Follow the show for more on BPD recovery, betrayal trauma, shadow work, values-based healing, and building authentic relationships.

You are loved. You are worthy. You are created with purpose .
See you next week on From Borderline to Beautiful.

In this episode Rose Skeeters breaks down the intersection of gaslighting and borderline personality disorder with clear definitions, research-backed explanations, and practical tools. She covers how to tell the difference between true gaslighting and BPD-related dissociation or emotional reasoning, whether people with BPD gaslight others, the problem of self-gaslighting, and concrete steps for protection, boundaries, and repair.
From Borderline to Beautiful — Real hope, real tools, real recovery.
00:00 Introduction to Gaslighting and Its Relevance in BPD
02:55 Understanding Gaslighting: Patterns and Signs
04:34 Why Gaslighting Hits Harder in BPD
05:53 Recognizing Patterns of Gaslighting
09:55 Gaslighting vs Dissociation: Key Differences
13:00 Unintentional Gaslighting in BPD
16:30 Self-Gaslighting and Internal Invalidations
18:29 Practical Strategies to Respond to Gaslighting
22:10 Therapeutic Approaches for Reality Testing and Emotional Regulation
23:48 Resources and Support for Gaslighting Recovery

Book a session with Rose or Jay: ⁠thriveonlinecounseling.com⁠
Call/Text: 844-984-7483 (844-9-THRIVE)
Summer group wrapping up soon — Mid-Fall group forming (email today to save your spot)
Podcast Website: thriveonlinecounseling.com
Follow the show for more on BPD recovery, betrayal trauma, shadow work, values-based healing, and building authentic relationships.

You are loved. You are worthy. You are created with purpose .
See you next week on From Borderline to Beautiful.

In this powerful solo episode, Rose Skeeters opens up about one of the biggest hidden obstacles in her own BPD recovery: chronic judgmentalism. What felt like harmless criticism was actually a self-protective shield that blocked vulnerability, deepened fragmentation, and sabotaged the very connection and healing she craved.
Rose breaks down how judgment functions as projection and shadow material, its damaging effects on mental health, self-image, relationships, and empathy, and most importantly — how to turn every judgmental thought into a golden doorway for shadow work and integration.
If you’ve ever caught yourself being harshly critical of others (or yourself) and wondered why real healing felt out of reach, this episode will give you both insight and practical tools to break the cycle.
From Borderline to Beautiful — Real hope, real tools, real recovery.
Judgment is often a defense mechanism rooted in projection and unintegrated shadow parts
How being judgmental harms your nervous system, self-worth, relationships, and capacity for empathy
Why judgment blocks shadow integration and keeps the borderline brain fragmented
Every strong judgment is a mirror — a powerful opportunity for healing
Practical steps: Pause, own the projection, feel it in your body, journal, dialogue with the part, and integrate
Judgment reinforces splitting; shadow work restores wholeness and values-based living
00:00 – Welcome & personal story
02:26 – Defining judgment and why it matters in recovery
04:55 – How judgment harms your mental health
07:22 – Impact on self-image and shadow integration
09:26 – How it damages relationships and empathy
13:09 – Shadow work explained (Jungian psychology & projection)
17:32 – Turning judgment into shadow work: practical tools
21:32 – Closing & resources
Book a session with Rose or Jay: thriveonlinecounseling.com
Call/Text: 844-984-7483 (844-9-THRIVE)
Summer group wrapping up soon — Mid-Fall group forming (email today to save your spot)
Podcast Website: thriveonlinecounseling.comFollow the show for more on BPD recovery, betrayal trauma, shadow work, values-based healing, and building authentic relationships.
If this episode resonated, take one small action today: Notice your next judgmental thought and ask, “What part of me feels activated here?” Write it down. That single pause can begin to shift everything.
You are loved. You are worthy. You are created with purpose.See you next week on From Borderline to Beautiful.

In this inspiring bonus episode, Addis shares a heartfelt journey from homelessness and instability to stability, self-awareness, and happiness. Addis' story highlights the possibility of recovery from BPD, emphasizing self-compassion, resilience, and the transformative power of self-acceptance. If you or someone you know is navigating similar struggles, this story offers hope and practical insights into healing.Need individual support? Schedule a session with Rose here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/product/individual-sessions/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
To schedule with Jay, click here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/product/22608/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Gift cards now available for purchase here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/product/gift-card/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
**This episode is colloquial not clinical, using personal anecdotes to support conveying information in an informal, relatable way**
Thank you to Noah Esreal for sharing his latest song with us, Now Knowing This. If you liked the clip in the beginning of this episode, you can find the whole song at the end of the episode.

In this episode, Rose Skeeters welcomes Bob Drozek, a leading expert in mentalization-based treatment (MBT), to discuss how understanding and improving mentalizing can support hope and recovery from borderline personality disorder (BPD). Listeners will gain insights into the foundational concepts of MBT and practical strategies for fostering better emotional and relational health.
Key topics:
​Mentalization explained: Accessing, reflecting, and understanding mental states in oneself and others (00:00:41)
​The importance of mentalization in everyday life and therapy (00:55:27)
​How trauma, rejection, and intense emotions disrupt mentalizing abilities (01:26:00)
​The role of psychical equivalence mode—certainty about negative self-beliefs— in BPD (05:03:00)
​Differences between skills-based therapies like DBT and relational, reflective approaches like MBT (13:42:00)
​The structure of MBT treatment: Formulation, collaborative development, and tailored strategies (16:19:00)
​Tools to assess and enhance self-awareness, including worksheets for identifying mentalizing strengths and vulnerabilities (19:00:00)
​The certainty toolkit and overcoming rigid beliefs about oneself and others (21:16:00)
​Building empathy: Overcoming empathic deficits related to shame and self-criticism (31:00:00)
​Navigating unstable self-identity through perspective-taking and understanding emotional validation (38:06:00)
​Success stories of MBT applying to real-world recovery, reducing self-harm, and improving relationships (45:30:00)
Resources & Links
Purchase Mentalization Workbook here: https://a.co/d/0dIkE170
Access Facebook group here: https://www.facebook.com/MentalizationBook
Worksheets: https://global.oup.com/booksites/content/9780198916857/
Contact Bob Drozek here: rdrozek@mclean.harvard.edu
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/robertdrozek/
MBT Boston—an organization that Bob Drozek co-founded that offers training and supervision to clinicians across the world in MBT: www.mbtboston.com/
Need individual support? Schedule a session with Rose here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/product/individual-sessions/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
To schedule with Jay, click here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/product/22608/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
Gift cards now available for purchase here: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.thriveonlinecounseling.com/product/gift-card/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
**This episode is colloquial not clinical, using personal anecdotes to support conveying information in an informal, relatable way**
Thank you to Noah Esreal for sharing his latest song with us, Now Knowing This. If you liked the clip in the beginning of this episode, you can find the whole song at the end of the episode.