Getting Close

If you’ve ever avoided sex because you were scared of what might happen, this episode is for you.
In this episode, nurse aesthetician and founder of Lushful Aesthetics, Chris Bustamante, and I explore all things dick-related. We get into why performance anxiety happens, what your testosterone is doing in your body, how your porn habits might be affecting sex, and why your sexting habits might need to change.
CHRIS BUSTAMANTE is an aesthetic nurse practitioner and received his doctorate of Nursing Practice from Columbia University. Chris specializes in aesthetic treatments and utilizes both his knowledge of medicine and passion for aesthetics to deliver effective treatments from top to bottom that help his patients feel more confident about their appearance. Chris cares deeply about education and has built a following by sharing informative and engaging content about Lushful Aesthetics procedures, his clinic, which helps educate people on the world of aesthetic procedures and promotes a deeper understanding of the process behind these treatments.
We unpack:
* ✊Why you’re probably gripping your 🍆 too hard when you’re watching porn.
* 🌶️Why you might be s*xting ‘too hard’
* 😫Why bottoming without preparation is making sex painful.
* 💪🏼Why you can stop worrying about your testosterone levels.
* 😌What your body is trying to tell you when you get soft.
Links
* Chris on IG: https://www.instagram.com/injectorchris
* Lushful Aesthetics: https://lushfulaesthetics.com/
* Splash Blanket: https://splashblanket.us/
* Aidan on IG: https://instagram.com/aidanwharton
* Getting Close on IG: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod/
Chapters
(00:00) Introduction to Vulnerability and Connection
(03:18) Exploring Sexual Shame and Anxiety
(05:14) Understanding Masculinity and Performance
(08:25) The Role of Testosterone in Sexual Health
(11:40) Differentiating Between Performance Anxiety and ED
(13:33) Rewiring Experiences and Overcoming Anxiety
(20:02) The Impact of Porn on Sexual Expectations
(25:58) Navigating Vulnerability in Sexual Encounters
(28:21) Navigating Online Communication and Expectations
(31:09) Understanding Gooning Culture and Its Effects
(34:55) Exploring Performance Anxiety and Alternatives
(38:39) The Role of Holetox in Enhancing Comfort
(41:59) Body Image and Sexual Health Insights
(46:51) The Importance of Connection and Community


This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

If you’re tired of all the noise and want three simple tips to find a little more happiness, this is the episode for you.
Today, you and I are sitting down with JP Brammer as he reveals three lessons that are making him genuinely happier right now. We learn how to ask for what you need, why you need to wash your thoughts like dishes, why you might feel lonely in a group of gays, the corrosive effects of comfort, and how to really trust what’s best for you.
John Paul Brammer is an award-winning writer and artist from Lawton, Oklahoma, currently based in Brooklyn. His memoir-in-essays, ¡Hola Papi!, was published in 2021, and is based on his popular advice column of the same name. His bylines include The New Yorker, The New York times, The Washington Post, and The Los Angeles Times. He is working on his second and third books.
We explore:
* Why hell is the Fire Island house next door
* How a 1700s Swedish mystic can grant you a day pass to heaven
* How Buzzfeed personality quizzes created a generation of anxiety
* Why the Spotify CEO considers silence his biggest competitor and what that means for your brain
* The one piece of advice every gay person needs
Links
* John Paul Brammer on Instagram
* John Paul Brammer on Substack
* Splash Blanket Waterproof Blanket
* Aidan Wharton on Instagram
* Getting Close on Instagram
Chapters
(00:00) Introduction to Connection and Happiness
(03:07) Navigating Advice and Autonomy
(06:02) The Journey of an Advice Giver
(08:50) Lessons from Vulnerable Communities
(11:59) Embracing Your Authentic Self
(14:55) The Importance of Asking
(18:06) The Role of Spirituality in Connection
(20:57) Communities and Personal Growth
(27:45) The Complexity of Community and Loneliness
(28:42) The Quality of Thoughts and Mental Hygiene
(30:39) Influence of Social Media on Thought Patterns
(33:31) The Value of Silence and Stillness
(36:25) Cruelty and Its Cost on Mental Health
(38:46) Trusting Your Intuition and Recognizing Discomfort
(41:32) The Illusion of Comfort and Its Consequences
(43:31) Navigating Discomfort in Relationships
(45:52) Advice for Future Self and Creative Projects
(52:36) Community Connections and Personal Growth


This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

If you’re tired of missing out on opportunities for fear of rejection, this episode is for you.
Today, you and I are sitting down with Zachary Zane to discuss how rejection rules our lives and ends up turning into shame. We get into so much juicy stuff like how rejection lives in the body, the nuances of bisexuality, how to overcome shame and embrace your kinky side, the lessons Zach has learned from the vast amounts of sex he’s had.
Zachary Zane is a Brooklyn-based sex columnist and author whose work centers on sexuality, culture, and the LGBTQ community. He is the author of Boyslut: A Memoir and Manifesto and co-author of Men’s Health: Best. Sex. Ever. He is also editor-in-chief of the BOYSLUT zine, and his writing has been featured in Men’s Health, Cosmopolitan, New York Times, Rolling Stone, Washington Post, GQ, Playboy, and more.
We unpack:
* How to take rejection like a pro and keep moving
* How to navigate sexual shame to become a bit more liberated
* Why being specific about your kinks on the apps actually gets you rejected less
* How to navigate bottom stigma in the gay community
* Why you should practice your rejections in the mirror
Links
* Boy Slut by Zachary Zane
* Zachary Zane on Instagram
* Boy Slut on Substack
* Splash Blanket Waterproof Blanket
* Aidan on Instagram
* Getting Close on Instagram
Chapters
(00:00) Understanding Rejection and Shame
(04:09) Navigating Personal Experiences of Rejection
(10:03) The Impact of Rejection on Relationships
(13:45) The Role of Kindness in Rejection
(20:11) Exploring Bisexuality and Rejection
(26:02) Attraction vs. Behavior in Sexual Identity
(27:25) The Journey of Oversharing
(31:01) Navigating Shame and Vulnerability
(35:30) Building Community and Connection
(39:12) Challenging Stigmas in the Gay Community
(44:25) Exploring Bisexual Representation
(47:26) Curiosity and Connection in Literature


This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

If you’ve turned off the news and feel guilty about it, this episode’s for you.
In today’s episode, you and I are getting close with Brian Derrick. We discuss the complexities of political engagement, why we’re all politically burnt out, why liberals keep losing, and how to turn politics from a hobby to an actionable lifestyle.
Brian Derrick is a political strategist, activist, and Founder and CEO of Oath – a civic tech platform transforming political giving. He has consulted on campaigns from city council to president – most notably for Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) and Marti Gould Cummings (NYC City Council). Derrick is also a leader in the nonprofit sector.
In this episode, we explore:
* Why you need to fight with your friends
* When it’s okay to stop injesting the news.
* Why your state senate donation matters more than your presidential one
* How to tell if you’ve turned politics into a hobby
* The real reason liberals keep losing.
Before You Go
* Please subscribe, rate, and review the show!
* And share it with someone who you think might enjoy it. That’s the best way you can help us grow!
Links!
Follow Brian: https://www.instagram.com/brianderrick_
Check Out Oath: https://app.oath.vote/
Follow Aidan: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton
Follow Getting Close: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod
Follow on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@gettingclosepod
Chapters
(00:00) Introduction to Political Engagement
(02:17) Understanding Political Burnout
(06:03) The Role of Data in Politics
(10:16) Taking Action Beyond Knowledge
(14:10) Navigating News Consumption
(19:54) Long-Term Political Planning
(24:32) Building Coalitions Through Disagreement
(27:23) Navigating Difficult Conversations
(30:21) The Importance of Engaging in Disagreements
(33:42) Deciding to Win: Taking Action in Politics
(37:04) Leveraging Resources for Political Change
(41:21) Finding Hope in Local Elections
(45:36) Cultivating Positivity in Political Discourse
(47:05) The Role of Voting in Civic Duty
(49:24) Curiosity and Connection in Community
(52:40) Empowerment and Enacting Change


This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe

If you’re feeling overstimulated and disconnected, this episode’s for you. In it, we connect with Keanu Jackson, a sex therapist, to explore the complexities of desire, consent, and online sexuality in our modern world.
Keanu Jackson is a Brooklyn, NY-based Sex Therapist, Content Creator, & Founder of Homebody Psychotherapy, a therapy practice that centers on supporting queer folks in building more nurturing relationships with their bodies. Keanu uses his experiences as a queer, Black man, sex worker, and survivor as a bridge to support others on their healing journeys.
In this episode, we explore:
* How to reconnect with your body through curiosity
* Why sexual liberation might mean having less sex.
* What you consent to by entering gay spaces.
* How race impacts sexual dynamics and what we can do about it.
* Keanu’s surprising recommendation for safer sex.
Chapters
(00:00) Introduction to Connection and Self-Discovery
(01:52) The Impact of Personal Loss on Relationships
(06:06) Exploring Sexuality and Identity in 2026
(08:50) Understanding Consent in Modern Culture
(12:08) Navigating Boundaries and Personal Safety
(14:59) The Intersection of Digital Presence and Sexuality
(20:59) Racism and Its Impact on Sexual Identity
(26:24) Navigating Sexual Spaces: Race and Entitlement
(30:12) The Importance of Acknowledging Racial Dynamics
(33:54) Unspoken Assumptions in Queer Spaces
(36:46) Building Self-Security and Curiosity
(41:10) Exploring Sexual Compatibility and Connection
(47:29) Curiosity in Black Diasporic Sexual Practices
(50:40) Creating Community and Connection
Before You Go!
* Please subscribe, rate, and review the show!
* And share it with someone who you think might enjoy it. That’s the best way you can help us grow!
Follow Along!
Follow Keanu: https://www.instagram.com/homebodypsychotherapy
Follow Aidan: https://www.instagram.com/aidanwharton
Follow Getting Close: https://www.instagram.com/gettingclosepod
Follow on Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@gettingclosepod


This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit gettingclosepod.substack.com/subscribe