A woman posts 25+ TikToks about falling in love with her psychiatrist who "manipulated" her by complimenting her glasses. She confides in ChatGPT (named Henry) which validates every delusion. This spirals into a broader discussion about how Ancient Aliens and conspiracy media systematically exploit vulnerable people experiencing mental health crises, turning psychological suffering into profits through algorithmic radicalization and targeted advertising. Also: why capitalism makes this worse, Pigouvian taxes, and that time someone thought an elephant was a mermaid.Get new episodes early and support the show on Patreon and Nebula!Subscribe to It's Probably (not) Aliens for weekly episodes about cool ancient history! And give us a 5-star review if you have the time. It really helps us out!Tristan Johnson Bluesky | Twitter | YouTubeScott Niswander Bluesky | Twitter | YouTubeFollow the show on Bluesky or Twitter for more updates!Ask us questions and send us topics to talk about at ProbsNotAliens.comMusic by Rod Kim | Cover art by SkutchSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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1:36:02
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1:36:02
A Fast Pass To Heaven (Terms and Conditions Apply)
Ancient Aliens loves to portray angels not as divine messengers, but as heavenly soldiers armed with advanced weaponry, turning biblical stories into "battle reports" of alien soldiers. But this isn't just a weird sci-fi twist; it taps into a much older, darker tradition. We trace the long, strange history of how Christianity, a religion born from oppressed people, was transformed into a tool for imperial conquest. It's a journey that starts with a Roman emperor seeing a cross in the sky and hearing the words "by this sign, conquer," leads directly to the Crusades, and helps justify centuries of colonization. Finally, we explore how this ancient ideology of holy war echoes in the chants of the modern far-right and gets a secular facelift in the pseudo-history of warrior aliens. Stuff mentioned in the episode:Tom Lehrer"Wernher von Braun" song by Tom LehrerThe Bible, Annotated Beyond All Possible Usefulness by Zach WeinersmithEmperor ConstantineBattle of the Milvian BridgeChi-Rho symbolCouncil of ClermontPope Urban II's call for the First CrusadeDum Diversus (1452)Doctrine of DiscoveryLiberation TheologyThe Art of Not Being Governed by James C. ScottJosé's video on Tucker Carlson and UFO documentariesGet new episodes early and support the show on Patreon and Nebula!Subscribe to It's Probably (not) Aliens for weekly episodes about cool ancient history! And give us a 5-star review if you have the time. It really helps us out!Tristan Johnson Bluesky | Twitter | YouTubeScott Niswander Bluesky | Twitter | YouTubeFollow the show on Bluesky or Twitter for more updates!Ask us questions and send us topics to talk about at ProbsNotAliens.comMusic by Rod Kim | Cover art by SkutchSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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1:33:06
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1:33:06
I'm Gonna Beat Jesus
You've seen it on TikTok: a wild theory connecting a sacred mountain in the Middle East, fallen angels, the Roswell crash, and the number 33. Welcome to the Mount Hermon conspiracy, the belief that a supernatural coordinate system, the 33rd parallel, serves as a global energy grid for aliens and angels alike. It’s a theory so powerful that it supposedly dictates everything from ancient history to modern warfare.So, is the Earth a giant D20 crisscrossed with energy lines? Scott and Tristan (armed with sangria and cream ale) dive into the numbers. They use some good old-fashioned math, statistical analysis, and a lesson on how latitude and longitude actually work to show why this "worldwide grid" has a tolerance for error so wide you could fly a V-2 rocket through it. Then, they get into the real history of Mount Hermon, a site sacred to countless cultures long before anyone wrote about "Watchers," and explore how apocalyptic literature from 200 BCE is being twisted to serve a new narrative.But this isn't just about debunking bad math. The hosts connect the dots from TikTok brainrot to the very real, very dangerous world of geopolitics, revealing how these conspiracies are weaponized to justify white nationalism and settler colonial projects in active war zones today.Stuff mentioned in the episode:Monte Carlo SimulationSarah Davis Baker and her video "The uncanny horror of AI hallucinations"Get new episodes early and support the show on Patreon and Nebula!Subscribe to It's Probably (not) Aliens for weekly episodes about cool ancient history! And give us a 5-star review if you have the time. It really helps us out!Tristan Johnson Bluesky | Twitter | YouTubeScott Niswander Bluesky | Twitter | YouTubeFollow the show on Bluesky or Twitter for more updates!Ask us questions and send us topics to talk about at ProbsNotAliens.comMusic by Rod Kim | Cover art by SkutchSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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1:14:45
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1:14:45
Elf on the Shelf Is A Cop
Ancient Aliens claims that myths about divine "Watchers" from the Anunnaki to the Eye of Horus are actually cultural memories of extraterrestrial surveillance systems. But what if the truth is far more terrestrial and much more insidious? Tristan argues that these stories aren't about alien technology, but a very human one: the invention of divine surveillance as a tool for social control. Join us as we unpack the 5,000-year-old con of the panopticon, a psychological prison designed to make you regulate your own behaviour. From Mesopotamian statues watching over grain silos to Jeremy Bentham's famously preserved head, they explore how ancient priests perfected a system of control so effective that modern governments and tech companies basically just copied it. So the next time you feel a pang of anxiety about that little green light on your laptop, thank an ancient priest for programming your brain to accept it. Oh, and they also redesign Catholicism to include nachos and Buzz Balls. Stuff mentioned in the episode:Get new episodes early and support the show on Patreon and Nebula!Jeremy Bentham's Auto-icon at UCLCaitlin Doughty's YouTube channel, Ask a MorticianDavid GraeberPeter KropotkinElf on the ShelfThe PanopticonThe Benjamin Franklin EffectSystem 1 & System 2 ThinkingDimension 20Debt: The First 5,000 YearsThe Conquest of BreadHome AssistantPi-holeSignalThe ACLUThe CCLAM&M Food Market"Shaming the Meat"Subscribe to It's Probably (not) Aliens for weekly episodes about cool ancient history! And give us a 5-star review if you have the time. It really helps us out!Tristan Johnson Bluesky | Twitter | YouTubeScott Niswander Bluesky | Twitter | YouTubeFollow the show on Bluesky or Twitter for more updates!Ask us questions and send us topics to talk about at ProbsNotAliens.comMusic by Rod Kim | Cover art by SkutchSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
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1:38:46
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1:38:46
The Gospel According to the House Hippo
After an 11-month hiatus that felt like a biblical epoch, Tristan and Scott are back to ask the tough questions, like "Do you remember the name of our own podcast?" and "Do Christians actually believe in angels?". The answer, according to Ancient Aliens, is that they shouldn't because angels were actually extraterrestrial visitors misunderstood by primitive humans.Join us as we dive into the linguistic weeds, tracing words like the Hebrew malak and the Greek angelos to reveal how "messenger of God" got deliberately misinterpreted as "messenger from another planet". We'll explore similar divine go-betweens in Akkadian, Zoroastrian, and even Islamic traditions, all while trying to figure out how a Canadian PSA about a tiny, crumb-eating hippo is the key to media literacy. We connect the dots between cherry-picking ancient texts for aliens and the more sinister historical revisionism of the Lost Cause and Nazi archaeology because of course we do.Stuff mentioned in the epsiode:House Hippo PSA (Concerned Children's Advertisers)Ice Angel (2000)Assassin's Creed Isu loreMaimonides' Mishneh Torah (angel hierarchy)Michael (1996) - John Travolta filmAngels in the Outfield (1994)Draw with Jazza YouTube channelGet new episodes early and support the show on Patreon and Nebula!Subscribe to It's Probably (not) Aliens for weekly episodes about cool ancient history! And give us a 5-star review if you have the time. It really helps us out!Tristan Johnson Bluesky | Twitter | YouTubeScott Niswander Bluesky | Twitter | YouTubeFollow the show on Bluesky or Twitter for more updates!Ask us questions and send us topics to talk about at ProbsNotAliens.comMusic by Rod Kim | Cover art by SkutchSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Was Earth really visited by mysterious extraterrestrial travelers thousands of years ago as many proponents of ”ancient astronaut theory” believe? What are the hidden secrets and mysteries behind ancient monuments and forgotten civilizations?
Every week, historian Tristan Johnson and regular human person Scott Niswander dive through the archives to learn about the fascinating histories of ancient civilizations while also debunking the myths and straight-up lies presented in History Channel‘s massively popular tv show Ancient Aliens that has sparked a new generation of conspiracy theorists. We hope through this show, you can gain an appreciation for just how cool ancient societies were, and not simply credit their impressive advancements to alien visitors.
NEW EPISODES EVERY WEEK! Follow the show so you don‘t miss an episode, and leave us a review! It really helps us out!
Ireland