Konnected Minds Podcast

From coming into marriage as a fresh graduate with zero income to 33 years of partnership built on redefining contribution beyond money, and why the brutal truth about why 40% of marriages fail because of finances is that couples limit provision to just the person bringing in monetary means when domestic needs, spiritual assignments, and taking care of children are resources that cannot be quantified but amount to so much, the young bride who wasn't working so her husband was really the one in charge of providing finances but there was no control or superiority because in those times there were no televisions giving so much information about relationship struggles, no telephones, no influence, so information was limited making it easier to respect what each partner brought to the table, the realization that if you don't redefine contribution you destabilize the equation of marriage because the person not bringing in money may feel dehumanized and brought to a level where they feel inferior and not needed, the candid admission that no matter how the other partner tries to make you happy you still feel you could have been better off if you had your own money because of the value society places on money, the wisdom that money is not the only parameter that makes marriage work because there's somebody taking care of domestic needs which might not be quantified monetarily but it's something, somebody taking care of spiritual assignments praying for the family to thrive and succeed, somebody taking care of children which you don't quantify in monetary terms but somebody does that, the husband who recognized that even though she wasn't gainfully employed she was taking care of the home front so there was equal balancing out of what each brought to the table, the respect and management that meant she wasn't scrambling for leftover bread crumbs which happens when people in control of money in a particular season do not value what the other partner brings in, the generational difference where married couples in the past didn't have much marriage counseling and you married based on connection socially or spiritually, where in the context of Christianity once you were Christian you were open to marrying another person who said they were Christian, the modern reality where younger generations must know it's not only money but other things that matter, the ladies who picture an image of a husband as just an ATM machine when marriage requires seeing the full picture of contribution, the statistic that women initiate divorces the most because they get in there and discover the reality doesn't match the picture, the question of whether marriages get better or worse after 33 years, the debate about whether if you contribute 50% of your salary to the family and I do 50% should I also help you in bathing the children and cooking, the principle that men should also support their women not just in the home but in business, the wisdom that in your view if a man starts a business the woman should support it not just do her own thing because the quality of the players in marriage determines whether you seek competition or collaboration.

Guest: Mama Cathy

Host: Derrick Abaitey

From the dangerous mindset that no one is coming to save you to the revolutionary truth that when you realize at age 12 or 13 that your entire family is waiting for someone else to rescue them you get an awakening that changes everything, and why the brutal truth about becoming a millionaire at 25 and losing it all by 27 is that the first thing that comes to an average Ghanaian person's mind when given an opportunity in business is steal. A deep conversation about the mindset of success with Christian Amoh

Guest: Christian Zen Amoh

Company - Ohemaa Rice

Host: Derrick Abaitey

IG: https://www.instagram.com/derrick.abaitey

YT: https://www.youtube.com/@DerrickAbaitey

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From the nagging wife who feels unheard to the husband who shuts down because he cannot handle her communication style, and why the brutal truth about why marriages collapse is that every person has a melting point that determines who they ultimately become, the woman who nags because her husband never listens to her and really hears her out, never pays attention when she's talking so she forces him to hear what she's saying without knowing that men are not wired to handle nagging attitudes, the realization that addressing brokenness, mindset, worldviews, ideologies, beliefs, and most importantly values is the only way to save a marriage because a woman who has exasperated her husband has not been able to actualize what her values are, the wisdom that when both partners are taken through proper help and therapy they could have the most excellent marriage thereafter because for lack of knowledge people perish but when knowledge hits you realize who you're married to, the revolutionary belief that any two people can make a marriage work excellently well because there is no wrong person only a wrong choice founded on ignorance and things you were not exposed to, the couples who separate over irreconcilable differences and then sit in front of a counselor and independently say I understand now why my husband or my wife was acting that way, now I understand myself, now it's like the veil is lifted, the 25 years of counseling and life coaching and 33 plus years of staying married that proves no matter how much we think we know there is a place of knowing where every veil that contributed to challenges is completely taken off and you see things for how they truly are and then you come to a place of healing, the internet coaches and counselors giving blanket marital advice when what works for one marriage may not work for another because how one person manages their marriage must not ultimately be the way you do yours, the joint accounts that work in some homes but may never work in others, the separate bank accounts that can exist while being one in spirit as long as you know exactly what you are doing financially as a home where you have different accounts but the family income is one, the common purse where both partners send percentages to with investments and children's education funds where you bring 50% of your income into this account, 20% into that account, and leave a percentage for personal allowance, the debate about

Guest: Mama Cathy

Host: Derrick Abaitey

From coming into marriage as a fresh graduate with zero income to 33 years of partnership built on redefining contribution beyond money, and why the brutal truth about why 40% of marriages fail because of finances is that couples limit provision to just the person bringing in monetary means when domestic needs, spiritual assignments, and taking care of children are resources that cannot be quantified but amount to so much, the young bride who wasn't working so her husband was really the one in charge of providing finances but there was no control or superiority because in those times there were no televisions giving so much information about relationship struggles, no telephones, no influence, so information was limited making it easier to respect what each partner brought to the table, the realization that if you don't redefine contribution you destabilize the equation of marriage because the person not bringing in money may feel dehumanized and brought to a level where they feel inferior and not needed, the candid admission that no matter how the other partner tries to make you happy you still feel you could have been better off if you had your own money because of the value society places on money, the wisdom that money is not the only parameter that makes marriage work because there's somebody taking care of domestic needs which might not be quantified monetarily but it's something, somebody taking care of spiritual assignments praying for the family to thrive and succeed, somebody taking care of children which you don't quantify in monetary terms but somebody does that, the husband who recognized that even though she wasn't gainfully employed she was taking care of the home front so there was equal balancing out of what each brought to the table, the respect and management that meant she wasn't scrambling for leftover bread crumbs which happens when people in control of money in a particular season do not value what the other partner brings in, the generational difference where married couples in the past didn't have much marriage counseling and you married based on connection socially or spiritually, where in the context of Christianity once you were Christian you were open to marrying another person who said they were Christian, the modern reality where younger generations must know it's not only money but other things that matter, the ladies who picture an image of a husband as just an ATM machine when marriage requires seeing the full picture of contribution, the statistic that women initiate divorces the most because they get in there and discover the reality doesn't match the picture, the question of whether marriages get better or worse after 33 years, the debate about whether if you contribute 50% of your salary to the family and I do 50% should I also help you in bathing the children and cooking, the principle that men should also support their women not just in the home but in business, the wisdom that in your view if a man starts a business the woman should support it not just do her own thing because the quality of the players in marriage determines whether you seek competition or collaboration, the transparency question of should women tell your husband exactly how much you earn with the emphatic answer of 101% yes, and why the ultimate truth is this: life itself is very challenging and finding solutions to issues that have been problems most especially as it relates to relationship requires bringing people to a place of peace, giving clarity on the issue of relationship, family life, marriage, and helping people navigate the rough terrain of life because we are created for relationship, understanding that there are things that should be sorted out before marriage because if you wait until after it's too late, recognizing that being creative for relationship means balancing your pursuit with peace, knowing that transitioning from where you are to where you ought to be within the confines of relationship requires gaining insight and knowledge and wisdom that will guarantee peace for the next 40 to 50 years, and if you want to make money not the problem in a relationship or marriage you must be careful to know that money is not the only denominator because there are other things brought in that if you quantify them amount to so much, and when you understand that provision isn't limited to monetary means, when you respect what each partner contributes whether it's finances or domestic care or spiritual covering or raising children, when you don't let the person in control of money feel superior and make the other feel inferior, you're not just building a marriage that lasts 33 years, you're creating a partnership where both people feel valued, needed, and respected regardless of who holds the financial power in any given season.

Guest: Mama Cathy

Host: Derrick Abaitey

From childhood neglect and zero attention from parents to building a social selling empire on TikTok making over 800,000 cedis, and why the brutal truth about entrepreneurial success is that the drive to be seen, to be heard, and to finally get the attention you prayed for but never received creates the kind of relentless hunger that turns restriction into freedom and loneliness into financial power, the young girl who grew up with different people getting different types of treatment and being so level headed she didn't misbehave despite having no attention from parents or the people she stayed with, the 14 year old who went to SHS and never went back home, who stayed with her big sister who was mostly not there giving her freedom to be alone and do things on her own, the daughter of hardworking farmers who wake up at 4am every day to go to the farm and never stop even though they are old and could rest because they built their own business and have the option but choose to keep going, the university graduate who watched her parents educate six kids through farming alone without begging for money proving that any small thing if you build on it consistently is going to yield something, the girl who always wanted to be a journalist until a conversation in SHS about an uncle in construction making a lot of money made her realize she likes money because money equals freedom, the business woman who tried nine to five jobs and hated being controlled and supervised because growing up alone made her not like being controlled by other people, the social seller who discovered that she can speak to people, teach, set up the camera and talk about stuff because she wants to be seen and heard and people don't even have what's in her head, the TikTok entrepreneur who made over 800,000 cedis selling products online when haters said she didn't make that money and her response was I don't care because the money is in her account not theirs, the daughter whose mother was against her coming to Accra thinking she would engage in prostitution because that's the perception about Accra but she felt like her mom didn't know her well which is why she was thinking that way, the young woman who never had it easy, who grew up with different people and got different treatment and mistreatment which made her tough but also made her want freedom so much because she was tired of being with people, the level headed girl who had the freedom to be alone from 14 years old and didn't misbehave proving that not having attention doesn't break everyone, it creates some people who say I want to be alone since you're not giving me what I need, and why the ultimate truth is this: not being heard as a child, never having attention from parents, being restricted when it comes to money even though your parents were doing well because your mom is not going to let you have it easy, growing up with family friends and uncles and aunties instead of your own parents because your mom was very busy farming and taking care of six kids, all of that neglect and restriction doesn't destroy everyone, it creates some people who say I want my freedom, I want to be seen, I want to be heard, and when they discover business lets them teach and speak and show people what's in their head, when making money gives them the freedom they never had growing up, when financial success means finally getting the attention they prayed for but never received, they push through with relentless hunger because the alternative is going back to those days of being invisible, and if you want to start a business, if you want to learn how to use social media to promote your business and make something out of it, if you want to know how someone did it alone and believes you can also do it, then this conversation is for you because charity is here for the small business owners, the people who want to start but don't know what to start from, the people who have started but don't know how to go about it, and she's going to spill everything she has done step by step including how to build your own product.

Guest: Charity Boateng

Host: Derrick Abaite