Konnected Minds Podcast

From the dangerous mindset of sizing people based on physique and six packs to the revolutionary truth that nobody will remember you for your work achievements more than family and the children that carry the legacy, and why the brutal truth about marriage longevity is that the older generation had a level of tolerance the younger generation doesn't have because younger people are not ready to put in so much and leave when they're not happy when happiness is not a gift that comes in a breath of gold but something you work out with a threshold of patience, the powerful manifesto every couple needs before engaging: a blueprint, a working document that maps out where you want to see your marriage on your 10th anniversary covering finances, children's upbringing, career, spirituality, sex, everything so you don't marry blindly and walk into it without direction, the woman's perspective that values transparency, honesty, truthfulness, faithfulness as four words describing one thing because faithfulness means you are faithful to me and not cheating unless the woman didn't love you and you have somebody outside and it's only psychoning from you to fix the one she's interested in, the 33 years plus of marriage proving that date night and spending quality time means so much to a woman who wants a man whose presence they can feel, the revolutionary advice that most women choose men they can allow themselves to respect because a man is wired for respect as their greatest desire and love language, the capital letters warning to never marry a man you cannot respect because no man wants to marry another man and your intuitiveness as a woman should be mixed with humility because men are logical and don't want to be challenged even if you have a point to make, the realization that you can say good morning and it means good morning or you can say good morning and it means disrespect so if a woman wants their marriage to work and have the man feel like the man in the home give that man respect, the marriages that are not really getting better because the younger generation doesn't have the tolerance older generations had and are not ready to put in work, the happiness trap where everybody thinks if there's no happiness we work out when if everybody is working out what will be left of this institution, the early years of marriage being the most challenging season filled with expectations that get smashed coupled with raising children when you have a husband that is extremely intelligent, hardworking, and out there achieving so much but wasn't really available and you hadn't planned for the lack of availability, the seven years with four children that was big challenging but they set out, understood themselves, and gave him the space to become the best thing he was, the endurance through eight years that was a bit unstable and then started settling in bringing them to a season where father is seven on earth, the other couples whose early years are thrilling and then suddenly something strikes and the storm comes in and you compare the past and the present discovering the early years were extremely smooth but now you're in this challenging and testing season, the sitting back now to say I bless God for everything that happened because it brought the best out of us, the secret to surviving your early years of marriage, and why the ultimate truth is this: stop sizing people based on physique and six packs because that six packs man can put you in grief tomorrow and that lady that is like an angel that got missing from heaven can send you to an early grave, beauty is good and six packs is good but you should slow it down and promise yourself that you receive family that in the midst of the confusion and chaos in the world you will stand out.

Guest: Mama Cathy

Host: Derrick Abaitey

From the husband who wants to check out because his wife nags and doesn't reason with him to the revolutionary truth that every person has a melting point that determines who they ultimately become, and why the brutal truth about why marriages collapse is that we spend years learning careers like medicine and law but expect to master marriage in six months when the microwave mindset of competing with AI and technology will never work in relationship, the wisdom that nothing good comes easy and if we want to fix society we must be willing to pay the price to reorder and rewrite the storylines, the realization that most families have broken people terribly and immensely but it's only the clothes that cover their idiosyncrasies, the challenge to the younger generation that you may have been broken in the family you come from but you mustn't repeat the cycle, the warning that if you haven't looked critically at how to affect the things in your childhood you wish had not happened you're going to give a double dose of that to your children, the dangerous reality that some ladies picture an image of a husband as just an ATM machine which is a very faulty and erroneous mindset to have, the call to raise daughters who would not think like that by looking frantically for whoever can take you through psychometric analysis that can tell you about you beyond you to clean the contents of water that had been infiltrated and corrupted, the powerful statement that women don't just blame the ladies, blame fatherhood because the woman is created by God to draw inspiration from the father, the message to present fathers to bless your daughters and look for a woman you can trust to help the process of healing and restoration, the quantum reality check that helps discover the reason why a person is the way the person is because nobody is created to be a nag or irresponsible, something was broken somewhere, the woman who nags because her husband never listens to her and really hears her out, never pays attention when she's talking so she forces him to hear what she's saying without knowing that men are not wired to handle nagging attitudes, the man who goes or complains that she doesn't reason with him and even when he wants to have a conversation it doesn't really happen so he's lost the desire to even sleep with her and is checking out, the question that determines the next line of action: what effort have you made to seek help for both of you, the wisdom that nobody has monopoly of knowledge and you may be excellent at your work and business but you may not know everything when it comes to relationship, the realization that there is no situation that cannot be handled and made better when it comes to these dysfunctionalities if you're willing to pay the price and say I want to marry right, I want to have my marriage work, I want to be a blessing to my partner, the revolutionary belief that we are not also willing to pay the price to fix the family institution and the responsibility raised on the head of the male because they are the heads but the neck turns the head, the neck that you allow to be dysfunctional will tell you the wrong direction so why don't you fix the neck, the critical truth that the content must be sorted out before marriage not six months after you thought you knew them because will you practice medicine or law just by being exposed to tutelage in two months or six months when careers require years of exposure, the challenge that this generation wants to bring microwave mindsets into relationship.

Guest: Mama Cathy

Host: Derrick Abaitey

From coming into marriage as a fresh graduate with zero income to 33 years of partnership built on redefining contribution beyond money, and why the brutal truth about why 40% of marriages fail because of finances is that couples limit provision to just the person bringing in monetary means when domestic needs, spiritual assignments, and taking care of children are resources that cannot be quantified but amount to so much, the young bride who wasn't working so her husband was really the one in charge of providing finances but there was no control or superiority because in those times there were no televisions giving so much information about relationship struggles, no telephones, no influence, so information was limited making it easier to respect what each partner brought to the table, the realization that if you don't redefine contribution you destabilize the equation of marriage because the person not bringing in money may feel dehumanized and brought to a level where they feel inferior and not needed, the candid admission that no matter how the other partner tries to make you happy you still feel you could have been better off if you had your own money because of the value society places on money, the wisdom that money is not the only parameter that makes marriage work because there's somebody taking care of domestic needs which might not be quantified monetarily but it's something, somebody taking care of spiritual assignments praying for the family to thrive and succeed, somebody taking care of children which you don't quantify in monetary terms but somebody does that, the husband who recognized that even though she wasn't gainfully employed she was taking care of the home front so there was equal balancing out of what each brought to the table, the respect and management that meant she wasn't scrambling for leftover bread crumbs which happens when people in control of money in a particular season do not value what the other partner brings in, the generational difference where married couples in the past didn't have much marriage counseling and you married based on connection socially or spiritually, where in the context of Christianity once you were Christian you were open to marrying another person who said they were Christian, the modern reality where younger generations must know it's not only money but other things that matter, the ladies who picture an image of a husband as just an ATM machine when marriage requires seeing the full picture of contribution, the statistic that women initiate divorces the most because they get in there and discover the reality doesn't match the picture, the question of whether marriages get better or worse after 33 years, the debate about whether if you contribute 50% of your salary to the family and I do 50% should I also help you in bathing the children and cooking, the principle that men should also support their women not just in the home but in business, the wisdom that in your view if a man starts a business the woman should support it not just do her own thing because the quality of the players in marriage determines whether you seek competition or collaboration.

Guest: Mama Cathy

Host: Derrick Abaitey

From the dangerous mindset that no one is coming to save you to the revolutionary truth that when you realize at age 12 or 13 that your entire family is waiting for someone else to rescue them you get an awakening that changes everything, and why the brutal truth about becoming a millionaire at 25 and losing it all by 27 is that the first thing that comes to an average Ghanaian person's mind when given an opportunity in business is steal. A deep conversation about the mindset of success with Christian Amoh

Guest: Christian Zen Amoh

Company - Ohemaa Rice

Host: Derrick Abaitey

IG: https://www.instagram.com/derrick.abaitey

YT: https://www.youtube.com/@DerrickAbaitey

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From the nagging wife who feels unheard to the husband who shuts down because he cannot handle her communication style, and why the brutal truth about why marriages collapse is that every person has a melting point that determines who they ultimately become, the woman who nags because her husband never listens to her and really hears her out, never pays attention when she's talking so she forces him to hear what she's saying without knowing that men are not wired to handle nagging attitudes, the realization that addressing brokenness, mindset, worldviews, ideologies, beliefs, and most importantly values is the only way to save a marriage because a woman who has exasperated her husband has not been able to actualize what her values are, the wisdom that when both partners are taken through proper help and therapy they could have the most excellent marriage thereafter because for lack of knowledge people perish but when knowledge hits you realize who you're married to, the revolutionary belief that any two people can make a marriage work excellently well because there is no wrong person only a wrong choice founded on ignorance and things you were not exposed to, the couples who separate over irreconcilable differences and then sit in front of a counselor and independently say I understand now why my husband or my wife was acting that way, now I understand myself, now it's like the veil is lifted, the 25 years of counseling and life coaching and 33 plus years of staying married that proves no matter how much we think we know there is a place of knowing where every veil that contributed to challenges is completely taken off and you see things for how they truly are and then you come to a place of healing, the internet coaches and counselors giving blanket marital advice when what works for one marriage may not work for another because how one person manages their marriage must not ultimately be the way you do yours, the joint accounts that work in some homes but may never work in others, the separate bank accounts that can exist while being one in spirit as long as you know exactly what you are doing financially as a home where you have different accounts but the family income is one, the common purse where both partners send percentages to with investments and children's education funds where you bring 50% of your income into this account, 20% into that account, and leave a percentage for personal allowance, the debate about

Guest: Mama Cathy

Host: Derrick Abaitey