The Kevin Miller Podcast

We have a culture that reports an almost all time high of human suffering. A predominant term this suffering gets labeled as is - trauma. But I just don’t think it’s the right term for many of us. Trauma is defined as - an emotional and physical response to a very stressful, scary, or harmful event. What I experience myself, and feel so many others do, is loss. Loss that may not seem super stressful, scary, or harmful, but it pains us to a deep, deep level. And nobody is speaking well to this. Which is why I bring to you in this episode, someone who I revere, and will honestly say that the following conversation was one of the most helpful I’ve had in as long as I can remember. Dr. Lucy Hone is an adjunct fellow at the University of Canterbury and a sought-after professional speaker, a bestselling author, and an award-winning internationally published science educator. She is regularly featured in international media, including in The Guardian, the Hidden Brain, and the Washington Post and is a columnist for Psychology Today. Her first book, Resilient Grieving, was an international bestseller that led to a fully updated and expanded second edition in 2024 and her TED talk, Three Secrets of Resilient People, has been viewed by over nine million people. Now Lucy has come out with her latest research in a new book, How Will I Ever Get Through This: Evidence Based Tools to Help You Heal From Hardship, Grief, and Loss. Again, I’m citing this conversation as one of the most profound I’ve had in a long time. We discuss how most attention gets given to the loss of a loved one or our health, but many people are suffering themselves greatly regarding the loss of an ideal. An expectation. A dream or a goal. A picture they held of their lives. And that culturally we may be seeing the mental health crisis as a result of a societal perceived loss of hope. I expect many of you will find resonance in this conversation, for pain you carry, and hope for some relief.

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I’m a fan of mind games, because I feel most all of what we experience is just that, a mind game. But I’ve always helped myself by considering different angles to stories. And today I bring you one I’ve benefited myself with. You’ve probably heard of the concept of “10X,” as in 10 Xing your goal. But I want to be clear, today I look at this as a practice or exercise and am not presenting it as what you or I should do. This then is a conversation I’m revisiting with renowned organizational psychologist and author, Dr Benjamin Hardy. I perceive Ben as having great insight into human transformation and a knack for creating clear, contrasting, and innovative messages around concepts we’ve long grappled with. Along with celebrated business coach, Dan Sullivan they wrote a book titled, 10x is easier than 2x: How World-Class Entrepreneurs Achieve More By Doing Less. I’ve altered some of my views on this concept since this talk, but I feel this is a wonderful exercise for anyone to do in order to divest themselves of a lot of clutter we let get in our way and get to what is important for a destination or achievement we desire. You could almost compare it to asking what you would take from your home if you only had 30 minutes till you must evacuate for a flood or fire. This concept can get us super focused and realize what is truly necessary.

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We tend to understand and acknowledge that what we say matters. But I find an increasing lack of attention to how we say things. And yet we make conscious and unconscious judgments about people regarding how they are talking, that sometimes become more important than whatever it is they might actually be saying. This is a focus on being aware of our own speech patterns and habits and how they may be hampering our desire to really connect with others. My guest is Valerie Fridland, professor of linguistics in the English Department at the University of Nevada, Reno. As a sociolinguist, Valerie studies how language interacts with society and examines how factors like geography, social class, age, gender, and ethnicity shape accents, vocabulary, and grammar with a focus on how the way we speak impacts the way we think about and talk to one another. Valerie is the author of Like, Literally, Dude: Arguing for the Good in Bad English, and she writes a popular language blog on Psychology Today called "Language in the Wild.” Her new book is Why We Talk Funny: The Real Story Behind our Accents. valeriefridland.com

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Every day we encounter the stimuli of our lives. Events and people. And we have feelings about most all of it. Some good, some bad, some fairly neutral, but we are processing everything through how we make meaning of things. Some of us have negative emotions about certain things that don’t serve us. After 15 years as an elite cyclist I came to equate negative emotions to rain, as I associated rain with riding in it or riding indoors to stay out of it. I held this negative emotions for many years after I retired, for no real reason. From a habit of speeding and rolling stop signs I grew in myself, negative emotions toward cops who frequently pulled me over. Now, even when I’m obeying the traffic laws, I experience a negative emotion when I see a cop. These negative emotions, I created. And now I’ve retained even after the circumstances have changed. Analogies to question the emotions we hold from past experiences that may not be serving us today. My guest in this episode Dr. Julia DiGangi. Julia is a neuropsychologist who completed her residency at Harvard Medical School, Boston University School of Medicine, and the US Department of Veterans Affairs, and is the author of a book called Energy Rising: The Neuroscience of Leading with Emotional Power. Dr DiGangi has nearly two decades of experience studying the connection between our brains and our behavior and has worked with leaders around the world including the White House Press Office and the US Special Forces. She shows people, at work and at home, how to harness the power of the brain to lead more satisfying and emotionally intelligent lives. You can find her on Instagram with a following of 250k @drjuliadigangi

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As humans we have spent a majority of our lives outdoors until very recently, when in a short time, we spend almost all of our time indoors and even in our short exposures to the outdoors we are not opening ourselves to the true benefits of nature. I don’t believe in hacks and shortcuts and secrets to health, and this episode contains none of that. It points to data and I think you’ll agree, common sense. We are spending ever more amounts of time and money on therapies and strategies and looking for the next magic cure, and as a board certified medical doctor, John has put his focus on being outdoors and getting his hands dirty. I find his insight more than compelling, but convicting. And his focus is on what anyone can do, anywhere, to get the free and deep benefits from being outside and nature, even if it’s merely gazing at the sky for 10 minutes. John La Puma you may know from ChefMD™ and is a two-time New York Times bestselling author, board-certified internist, and professionally trained chef who pioneered Culinary Medicine. He now pioneers EcoMedicine from his small regenerative teaching farm. His new book, Indoor Epidemic, reveals how spending 93% of life indoors steals sleep, focus, and years, and how reclaiming just 7% outdoors can restore them using the evidence-based Outdoor Rx framework. This is clinically validated intervention, presenting nature as foundational medicine, an essential component of health and the missing pillar in optimizing longevity and healthspan. One of John’s primary advocates and friends is Dan Buettner, famous for his research on the Blue Zones and its inhabitants who make up the happiest and healthiest demographic on the planet.

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