The Simple Sophisticate - Intelligent Living Paired with Signature Style

That feeling when our shoulders drop naturally, we make decisions from a place of confidence rather than fear, we are at ease to be ourselves and surround ourselves with those who feel safe to be themselves. There is an unspoken respectfulness rather than resentment, an enjoyment of the company and life we have cultivated, and when momentary chaos jets into the day, we remain steady, trusting we will make it through to the other side where calm will return.
A secure feeling in our daily life can arrive or be reached in a few different ways. And mind you, we're not talking financial security, we're talking emotional attachment security. The feeling of being at ease with our own company as well as with those we connect with and interact with. To live a secure life as it pertains to attachments is to engage with the world from a place where our nervous system is regulated (i.e. relaxed) giving us the ability to confidently try new things, share our true selves, relax entirely, and savor completely.
You may remember or have read Dr. Amir Levine's bestselling book that he co-authored titled Attached (see below). It inspired an entire episode of The Simple Sophisticate podcast (#318), and while that book focused primarily on romantic relationships, in his new book Secure: The revolutionary guide to creating a secure life (released this past spring), he spread the net wider addressing how to be secure in all types of relationships and how to navigate when we are not a healthy place to be secure. In this way, the book is the resource I was delighted to come across recently as it validated and further taught how to be secure within oneself and in choosing and nurturing relationships to maintain a secure life.
One of the most helpful Ahas I had while reading this new book, Secure., is that we are often not consistently the same type of attachment style with every relationship (i.e. person) in our life. And this demonstrates that both people figure into the equation that effects the security or lack of security in the relationship. So for example, you may be a fairly secure person, but with say your boss, you become quite anxious. Upon further exploration into why that is, you discover that they are dismissive of your ideas consistently, which causes you to doubt your contributions. Or conversely, maybe you tend to be more avoidant, but with your romantic partner, you feel largely secure because they don't invade your space when you need it, they aren't constantly bugging you when you are apart during the day, and this gives you the independence you need without feeling you have to avoid them or their communication efforts.
Ultimately, our objective is to build secure relationships throughout the web of our lives, and once we ourselves are secure and understand how to remain secure, this becomes easier to do.
Now, let's discover how to become a secure person in our life, and build secure relationships.
Tune in to the episode for the full content, and find the Show Notes on The Simply Luxurious Life blog - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast437

Find the text for this mini-episode on The Simply Luxurious Life - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/moment44

Find the text for this mini-episode on The Simply Luxurious Life - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/moment43

"Sophistication is a perfect marriage between intelligence and simplicity, combined with supreme confidence." —Rose Tarlow, interior designer, author of The Private House
A home that spontaneously prompts a deep exhale of relief and appreciation when we arrive. Four walls of our own that reflect what we need to unwind, put down any defenses or professional selves that we have needed to do our job. When we know we have such a place, no matter the size, but we know it is our own, our whole being can rest, can delight and can be free.
The caveat is that a home such as this doesn't just magically come together. In fact, even hiring an interior designer won't create this feeling of deep intimate calm that day after day, year after year, we feel innately. Rather, it takes intention, both in knowing ourselves and in knowing how to create the aesthetic combinations of colors, textiles, décor items, furniture and arrangement. The latter is what internationally respected interior designer, antiquarian and fine furniture and fabric creator Rose Tarlow can teach us. In her book The Private House published first back in 2001, she details, more accurately, journals her way through her thought process of decorating private homes for her clients, and herself and loved ones. The book was republished with updates in 2024, and I was fortunate to receive a copy after being inspired to explore the title by a long-time reader and member of TSLL community Deborah L. (thank you Deb!).
Rose Tarlow knows quiet luxury, even though she herself would never use the term. But to look at her projects of homes located in France (Provence), England (London) and in the States (Los Angeles), the fact that more than 20 years later they still look inviting, reveal her skill of timeless acquisitions, textile choices and arrangements.
Have a look at the quote below and her thoughts about the importance of creating, decorating a house so that it becomes our private house.
 
"Our private house should be a reflection of oursleves, our way of being in the world, what makes us distinctly different from one another. Taste is a matter of opinion and its nature is constantly seeking to define itself. So we are continually influenced by the people we meet, by what we read, and by what we see. Our opinions take shape, yet we are never fully formed, always becoming, incorporating experiences, continuously changing and refining our image of ourselves throughout our lives. This never-ending process of evolvement makes designing one's own home an extremely personal experience."
—Rose Tarlow, interior designer, author of The Private House
 
Along with knowing how to decorate, as mentioned above, we must also bring our self-knowledge, and this is an intentional journey we must embark upon, and a most enjoyable and worthwhile one as well. No only for decorating our home well, but making life and relationship decisions. TSLL blog, books and podcast have been dedicated to sharing with you resources and inspiration for unearthing and gaining the knowledge and skills you need to take this journey and with today's post/episode, it's all about decorating know-how: what works and why, how to decide and how to approach decorating your home when you have more than one room staring back at you waiting to be customized.
Tune in to the episode to explore the 10 ways to create your own sophisticated sanctuary. 
Find the Show Notes on the blog, The Simply Luxurious Life - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/podcast436

Find the text for this mini-episode on The Simply Luxurious Life - https://thesimplyluxuriouslife.com/moment42