123 episodes
122: How to Know When You Need Help With Skin Picking, Hair Pulling, or Nail Biting
21/07/2026 | 15 mins.If, after a picking, pulling, or biting session, you feel:
💔Shame
💔Self-judgment
💔Embarrassment
💔Hopelessness
💔Lost
💔Stuck
💔Apathetic
These are all big indications that you need and deserve support in healing.
BUT...
"... Is it really that bad?"
"... I should be able to figure this out myself."
If you've had these doubts, there are 2 cognitive defensive mechanisms that you might be unknowingly engaging that are greatly holding you back.
If you're engaging in one or both of them, then it's a big sign you really do need help and should not keep waiting.
Listen in to find out!
💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me
🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics
📝FREE Holistic Skin Picking & Hair Pulling Assessment - (this is no longer available. For this kind of insight and feedback, you can "share your story" with me via the link above)
🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge
🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass
✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp
🙋♀️Send me a message here
My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.- You're not consistent, not because you lack willpower, but because you think you need to be fixed.
When we look at the science of motivation and the incredible impact self-compassion has on our likelihood of moving toward our goals, the first sentence takes on a much more profound meaning.
So let's unpack that together:
🌟Understand what's really driving your inconsistency and resistance.
🌟Learn how to make change feel easier by connecting to what truly matters to you
🌟Discover a simple framework to create lasting habits from self-care, not self-criticism.
If you keep wondering, "Why can't I just stick with it?", I made this episode for you. 💛
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Questions from this episode:
(Listen to full episode for more context!)
What might I gain when I do that thing?
Why is that important to me?
How might this positively impact those around me?
---
Resources:
The Neuroscience of Goals and Behavior Change - Elliot T Berkman
Being Compassionate to Oneself Is Associated with Emotional Resilience and Psychological Well-Being - Rick Warren, Elke Smeets & Kristin Neff
The Power of Self-Compassionate Motivation - Kristin Neff
---
💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me
🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics
📝FREE Holistic Skin Picking & Hair Pulling Assessment - (this is no longer available. For this kind of insight and feedback, you can "share your story" with me via the link above)
🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge
🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass
✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp
🙋♀️Send me a message here
My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery. - Satisfaction, rest, soothing - these are some of the most common things people report they enjoy about picking, pulling, and biting.
The biggest reason why we enjoy it so much is that it gives us something we aren't getting enough of in life already - Read the first three words again...
Despite how much you might enjoy it, when you begin to address the root cause, you start building a life that gives you more genuine reasons to feel satisfaction, rest, and soothing (and much more).
When this happens, we stop needing picking, pulling, or biting so much.
Sounds far-fetched?
I've seen it happen for my clients, and I have a couple of their incredible stories to share with you in this episode, PLUS 5 relationship areas we can focus on that make all the difference.
💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me
🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics
📝FREE Holistic Skin Picking & Hair Pulling Assessment - (this is no longer available. For this kind of insight and feedback, you can "share your story" with me via the link above)
🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge
🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass
✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp
🙋♀️Send me a message here
My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery. - Understandably, the scars that we create through chronic skin picking, hair pulling and nail biting are not something that we feel good about.
The bald patches, thinning, hyperpigmentation, and dwindling nail beds can trigger feelings of shame, self-judgment, or even unlovability.
The problem is, these are also the same emotions that fuel picking, pulling, and biting! It becomes a self-sustaining cycle.
When we learn how to move through these emotions, we are actively helping ourselves reduce the need for them while unburdening ourselves of their emotional weight.
But how do you navigate this in a way that allows you to move through and release rather than feel stuck? Is that even possible as long as the scars and damage remain?
It is, and I'm going to share with you how.
🚩Fair warning, though, this episode contains no fluffy, toxic positivity. This is about embracing the truth and grounding yourself into reality. Which can sometimes, initially, be an unpleasant experience.
🙏It's an odd thing to say because it will probably drive some people away from listening to this episode. If that's the case, those people are most likely not ready to listen to what's inside.
Rest assured, if you listen, I'll be with you every step of the way 💛.
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Journaling Prompts:
Make sure you listen to this episode before answering these Qs.
🌟What do you not want to accept?
🌟What do you feel the scars are costing you?
🌟What do you feel you can't have because of them?
🌟From what you've written, what do you suspect might not be the full truth?
🌟What might you be able to allow yourself to grieve that you haven't yet?
If you need more support, reach out to your therapist, psychologist or coach. You can also reach out to me. I'm here for you!
----
💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me
🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics
📝FREE Holistic Skin Picking & Hair Pulling Assessment - (this is no longer available. For this kind of insight and feedback, you can "share your story" with me via the link above)
🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge
🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass
✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp
🙋♀️Send me a message here
My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery. - The version of you that is free from chronic skin picking, hair pulling, or nail biting is one that feels confident, creative, compassionate, and calm.
These are not just pretty words; this is who you are at your core (as research has discovered)!
Now the question is, how do we connect more to this part of ourselves?
And how does picking, pulling, and biting both hold you back and help you get there?
This is where we turn our greatest struggle into our greatest teacher, and we don't do it through guesswork but through using well-researched therapeutic models (that actually help).
Listen in to learn:
A powerful therapeutic model for chronic picking, pulling and biting that isn't CBT or HRT.
How to turn picking/pulling/biting into a tool for healing
Who you are at your core (as research has discovered)
How to connect to these incredible core qualities in a tangible and practical way
Resources:
No Bad Parts by Richard Schwarz (book)
Clarity: Focusing on the 8C's of Internal Family Systems (IFS) Therapy
IFS Website
💌Share your story - Book your FREE BFPA* Support Call with me
🌟Download your FREE Guide to Stop Skin Picking Using Somatics
📝FREE Holistic Skin Picking & Hair Pulling Assessment - (this is no longer available. For this kind of insight and feedback, you can "share your story" with me via the link above)
🎯Join the 7-Day Skin Picking Recovery Challenge
🤓Sign up - FREE BFPA Monthly Masterclass
✨Join - BEYOND Support Group on WhatsApp
🙋♀️Send me a message here
My name is Raffaela Marie. I'm a holistic BFRB coach who has healed from 15 years of chronic skin picking myself and dedicated my life to helping driven women do the same. Through my podcast, free resources, and programs, I teach strategies to overcome urges, build emotional safety, and expand into authenticity. My approach goes beyond quick fixes, focusing on root causes and long-term recovery.
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About Beyond Skin Picking & Hair Pulling
Beyond Skin Picking & Hair Pulling is a podcast for high-achieving women who want freedom from their BFRB*; they want more authenticity, deeper confidence, to feel powerfully secure in who they are, so they can do more of what they love.Hosted by Raffaela Marie - speaker, mentor, and creator of the STRENGTH Method - who overcame chronic skin picking, selective mutism, social anxiety, and depression, not by forcing willpower, but by healing from the inside out and addressing the true root causes. Each episode offers a no-fluff look at healing from body-focused repetitive behaviours through the lens of self-confidence and authenticity. Raffaela blends psychology, neuroscience, and real-world experience to uncover what’s truly driving the urge to pick, and how to find lasting freedom from it.Listeners walk away with tangible tools they can apply immediately to reduce urges, regulate emotions, and build emotional resilience. Beyond symptom management, this podcast helps you reconnect to your authentic self, feel grounded in your worth, and create lasting freedom from BFRBs*.If you’re ready to stop performing, start healing, and build confidence that feels real, you’re in the right place.*BFRB = Body Focused Repetitive Behaviours like chronic skin picking, nail/cheek biting, and hair pulling.
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