132: The 4 Male Archetypes That Guide Our Relationships | David Coates
Learn more about Kelly's Relaxed Woman System here.To dive deeper, listen to Reclamation Radio episode Unmasking the Narcissist and How to stop being controlled by Ego.Even the darkest voice in your head is trying to help.In this episode, I sit down with psychotherapist David Coates, trained in Internal Family Systems, to explore parts work with men. Together we trace how the mind operates like a family system of parts, and how those parts show up in relationships when they’re driving the bus. We also map the four extreme male strategies David has observed across years of clinical work and what shifts when they’re seen clearly.The problem is simple to name and hard to live with: when I blend with a part, it runs the show and pulls the relationship to the perimeter. The move is to unblend, get curious, and stay centered while refusing the bait.You’ll Learn:[00:00] Introduction[04:17] Why Internal Family Systems can finally make sense of your chaotic mind[06:01] How regulating your inner world stops the suffering loop you keep replaying outside yourself[08:12] The radical reason there are no “bad parts” because even suicidal thoughts have a protective logic[10:02] What happens when a therapist meets every part with zero agenda or judgment[14:55] The real patterns behind “toxic masculinity” and why labeling men as narcissists misses the point[20:46] How to recognize when you’re getting pulled into someone else’s chaos, and hold your own center[26:15] Why your partner’s most frustrating traits might just be old survival strategies[37:54] How reconnecting with exiled “little-boy” parts unlocks lost power and presence[51:15] What true healing looks like when an identity built on defense finally collapses👉🏻 Want to start a podcast like this one? Book your free podcast planning call here.Find more from Dr. David Coates:David’s Book: Be Less DickishInstagram: @belessdickishFacebook: Be Less DickishWebsite: davidcoates.worldFind more from Kelly:Instagram: @kellybroganmdWebsite: kellybroganmd.comJoin Kelly's monthly membership, Vital Life Project here.Get Kelly’s new book The Reclaimed Woman here.
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131: How to Tell If You’re Being Discerning Or Judgmental
Ask Kelly your burning questions in our monthly Vital Life Project membership here.What if your body knows who to trust before your mind does?In this episode, I explore the distinction between discernment and being inflexible or judgmental, and why nervous-system safety matters. I look at how surrounding myself with people who share my values gave my system the signal it needed to read truth. I point to embodied examples of leadership where trust and betrayal are felt, not computed.The real shift is letting your body tell you who feels like an ally and where something feels off. Not everyone has to be everything to you. Some relationships are for deep safety, others are for a hike or a dance, and that’s healthy. When judgment shows up, it’s a mirror inviting you to own the part you’ve pushed into the shadows.Sometimes the smartest move is giving your body what it already needs.You’ll Learn:[00:00] Introduction[01:15] Why discernment isn’t about judgment but about nervous system safety[02:20] What binge-watching warrior shows taught me about embodied leadership[03:05] How to sense betrayal and trust through your body instead of logic[03:50] The real reason some people can’t engage in truth conversations[04:45] How to tell when someone’s nervous system can’t handle reality[05:10] Why different relationships serve different energetic purposes in your life[05:50] The healthy way to view relationships as conscious, reciprocal exchanges[06:05] How judgment reveals the parts of yourself still waiting to be lovedWant to start a podcast like this one? Book your free podcast planning call here.Find more from Kelly:Instagram: @kellybroganmdWebsite: kellybroganmd.comJoin Kelly's monthly membership, Vital Life Project here.Get Kelly’s new book The Reclaimed Woman here.
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130: How to Instantly Get Over a Breakup
Go deeper on this topic with Kelly's Breakup Breakthrough masterclass here.What if every breakup is really a practice in facing death?In this episode, a breakup practice adapted from family constellation work shows how to reclaim energy after a romantic ending. Responsibility comes first, along with the willingness to wear the villain crown. The process opens space to see the good inside painful relationships and drop the need to be right. Prompts guide you to return what was never yours, take back what you abandoned, and finally walk away free.You’ll Learn:The reason unresolved endings drain your energy for years if you don’t reclaim yourselfWhat happens when you say yes to a partner’s potential instead of who they really areThe three “yeses” that define healthy romantic love and why anything less is something else entirelyThe damage of clinging to innocence and refusing responsibility after a breakupWhat it feels like to wear the villain crown and drop superiority in relationshipsHow recognizing the good in painful experiences shifts you out of blame and into reclamationThe link between breakups and encountering our deepest fears about death and lossWhy releasing projections and returning responsibility frees both you and your former partnerA practical ritual to cut energetic ties and step back into your own lifeThe power of guarding your energy fiercely instead of giving it away through blame or self-defenseTimestamps:[00:00] Introduction[05:02] The three yeses of healthy romantic love[07:13] Taking responsibility after a breakup[09:46] Wearing the villain crown and dropping superiority[11:55] Recognizing the good in painful relationships[13:35] What you’ll never accept again and reclaiming yourself[14:41] Step-by-step breakup practice to cut energetic ties[17:41] Guarding your energy and final reflections👉🏻 Want to start a podcast like this one? Book your free podcast planning call here.Resources Mentioned:Art Therapy Institute | WebsiteFind more from Kelly:Instagram: @kellybroganmdWebsite: kellybroganmd.comJoin Kelly's monthly membership, Vital Life Project here.Get Kelly’s new book The Reclaimed Woman here.This episode is sponsored by Samadhi Moss. Use code KELLY10 for 10% off your sea moss!
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129: How Your Family, Past Relationships & Ancestors Are Affecting You Today | Elitsa Velikova
Learn more about Kelly's Reclaimed program here.What if your past doesn’t have to decide your future in love?In this episode, I sit down with Elitsa Velikova, a family constellation practitioner and therapist to discuss the hot topic of relationships, both moving beyond past relationships and readying yourself for healthy love.The conversation goes deep into the ways our family of origin and past partners shape how we love today. We talk about what it takes to truly complete old relationships, how mother and father dynamics play out in intimacy, and what it means to turn toward healthy connection as an adult.You’ll Learn:The reason your past relationships and family dynamics don’t have to dictate your future in loveWhat happens when you carry unresolved loyalty to your parents into adult partnershipsThe three movements needed to go beyond your mother and stand in your own lifeThe link between unfinished endings with ex-partners and struggles in new relationshipsWhat a good ending with a past partner actually looks like in practiceThe damage of staying entangled with your father and how it shapes intimacy as a womanWhy gratitude, not forgiveness, is the key to closing old relationship chaptersWhat it feels like to embody another’s role in a family constellation and gain unexpected insightHow unresolved trauma from your lineage can silently repeat in your own relationshipsThe shift that happens when you see your parents as resources rather than burdensTimestamps:[00:00] Introduction[06:59] What actually happens in a family constellation field[16:02] Why your past patterns with parents and partners don’t define your future[23:13] The three conditions needed to build healthy relationships[31:01] Saying yes to love means saying yes to endings and death[36:42] Going beyond the mother and reclaiming her as a resource[42:18] What completion with an ex-partner really looks like[52:01] The impact of enmeshment with the father on adult relationships[57:56] Family constellation as a path to secure love and acceptance👉🏻 Want to start a podcast like this one? Book your free podcast planning call here.You can connect with Elitsa and her work on her website.Find more from Kelly:Instagram: @kellybroganmdWebsite: kellybroganmd.comJoin Kelly's monthly membership, Vital Life Project here.Get Kelly’s new book The Reclaimed Woman here.This episode is sponsored by Samadhi Moss. Use code KELLY10 for 10% off your sea moss!
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128: Why Independence Does NOT Fulfill Women | Amy Loftus
Check out these related podcast episodes here and here.What if the secret to finding love is letting go, not holding tighter?In this episode, I sit down with Amy Loftus, a singer-songwriter and actress turned coach who helps women break free from cultural programming and embrace their desire for marriage. She shares her own path from chasing achievement and validation to finding fulfillment in partnership and writing her book, Eve’s Second Chance.We talk about what it means to soften, slow down, and restore receptivity. Amy opens up about praying for her husband before she met him, the role of faith and surrender in her journey, and the practical shifts that helped her move from independence to connection.You’ll Learn:The hidden cost of chasing achievement, independence, and external validationWhy shame around wanting marriage keeps so many women feeling isolatedHow prayer and surrender shifted Amy’s approach to love and partnershipThe difference between manifestation and devotion to a higher powerPractical ways to shift from control and strategy into receptivityThe power of language in masculine and feminine communicationWhy signaling, not pursuing, can transform the dating experienceHow equity, not equality, keeps relationships alive and balancedThe role of seasons in aligning priorities around career, marriage, and familyTimestamps:[00:00] Introduction[10:07] Learning to let go of control and receive in marriage[16:32] Shifting from new age manifestation to prayer and faith[24:20] Submission, surrender, and restoring balance in relationships[31:47] Communication differences between men and women[39:01] Praying for her husband and recognizing synchronicities[47:13] The four energies in relationships and the role of equity[54:49] Feminism, culture capture, and what has been stolen from women[01:00:57] The lost art of signaling and courtship in dating[01:06:23] Career, seasons of life, and redefining priorities in marriage👉🏻 Want to start a podcast like this one? Book your free podcast planning call here.Resources Mentioned:Eve’s Second Chance by Amy Loftus | BookEve’s Second Chance Podcast with Amy Loftus | Spotify or AppleDr. Pat Allen | WebsiteGabby Reece | WebsiteGetting to “I Do” by Dr. Pat Allen and Sandra Harmon | Book or AudiobookThem Before Us by Katy Faust and Stacy Manning | Book or AudiobookYou can connect with Amy on her website and her TikTok.Find more from Kelly:Instagram: @kellybroganmdWebsite: kellybroganmd.comJoin Kelly's monthly membership, Vital Life Project here.Get Kelly’s new book The Reclaimed Woman here.This episode is sponsored by Samadhi Moss. Use code KELLY10 for 10% off your sea moss!
It hurts to have unmet needs. And it sucks to scurry after crumbs when you’re starving. Join Kelly Brogan MD, as she teaches us how our pain points are portals. She’ll help you discover a world where every seeming challenge is a new chapter in your most audacious story. Plot twists, body symptoms, and heartbreak each represent an opportunity to own ourselves and learn to better wield the power of choice. Kelly will take you on a reclamation journey from the battlefield of victim consciousness to the sovereignty of self-devoted pleasure and expose every surprising place you’ve given your power away. Explore the tools you’ll need to find out what you want, how to ask for it and how to stand in fierce alignment with yourself.Kelly Brogan is a soul alchemist and threshold guardian devoted to the transformation of collective consciousness. As a young know-it-all atheist, candy-addict, straight-A MIT neuroscience major and Ivy-league trained psychiatrist, she specialized in feeding women, herself included, straight into the mouth of the medicated beast. After a Hashimoto’s healing journey inspired her to sound the alarm on the bait-and-switch of big pharma, she became a renegade activist—authoring the New York Times bestseller, A Mind of Your Own, and its follow-up, Own Your Self; co-editing the landmark textbook, Integrative Therapies for Depression; and eventually becoming an honorary member of the Disinformation Dozen. She is the creatrix of Vital Mind Reset, the online health reclamation program, and the membership community Vital Life Project. She’s a human, cat, and chicken mom.
Ireland